Prologue

My name is John. John Seith Walker. And I am a wizard. Some people would claim that I was a young dark lord though but what do they know?

Just because you commit manslaughter, several different degrees of murder, do unethical experiments on magical creatures and sleep with the daughter of the 'Chosen One', they start calling you a dark lord. People are really judgmental these days.

Let's go back for a while. Like I said, my name is John Seith Walker and I am a wizard. A Harry Potter wizard to be precise. Yes, by Harry Potter I do mean the book series written by J. K. Rowling. But before that I was a normal guy… I think…

Look I kinda died before becoming a wizard and recalling things about yourself before your death is kinda hard. Unlike recalling any other useless fact. Like the mating calls of jellyfish.

Not the point. As I was saying I am a wizard who was reincarnated in Harry Potter world so obviously I was meant to save the day, help Harry and prevent the deaths of beloved characters like Sirius Black, right?

Wrong!

First of all, I was self aware enough to know that I was a mid functioning sociopath that did not possess the morals to help the 'Chosen One' and save the day without getting anything back in return. Also, I was kinda late for that because I was born into the generation of Albus Severus Potter instead.

Nice kid but always gets bullied for his stupid name. Probably why he used to hang out with a psycho like me.

Anyway, my father was Jack Walker. A nice and kind muggle from a wealthy family of engineers. My mother on the other hand was Romilda Vane. You know, the schoolgirl in Harry Potter who thought that it was a good idea to drug a well known celebrity to love her? Yeah her.

I think you guys can guess how my mom and dad got together.

Anyway, later on my mom died after dad managed to escape her but not before giving birth to me in an orphanage.

It's almost like God took my soul, looked down at the world and said 'You know what this world needs? Another Voldemort!'

Cause I see no other way to end up with this cliche fanfic style backstory.

Anyway, I think things were going pretty well in life. I went to Hogwarts, tried to act like a normal kid, disastrously failed at acting like a normal kid by finishing the seven years of education in three years.

Turns out being an actual adult inside the body of a child makes magical education very easy. Who could have thought?

After that I was paraded around for a month before everyone moved on to the next big thing, something about liquid chicken nuggets, except for… Harry Potter.

The Man Who Conquered tended to be around where I was. At first it was kinda cool, I mean, he was Harry Potter. Sure Albus, James and Lily all seemed to have daddy issues but this was still the savior of the wizard world. Having him around was cool.

Until it wasn't.

The dude was everywhere. In restaurants, in cafes in public events and even in the inn after the night I was scoring some chicks!

For a while I thought that his less than stellar childhood at the care of Dursleys may have messed him up and turned him into a pedophile. Fortunately, he wasn't a pedophile.

Not so fortunately, he had somehow learned how I was conceived, the perv, and drew the same parallels that I did with Voldemort's past. Which led him to decide that there was a good chance of me becoming the next dark lord and that he should keep an eye on me much like Dumbledore kept an eye of Tom Riddle cause that had ended with no problems at all! He just had to raise a kid with self esteem low enough to throw himself at a killing curse. Pretty sure Harry could do that too, he already had done half of the work with his actual kids!

Anyway the fact that he always kept an eye on me meant that he ended up finding a reason to declare me an upcoming dark lord. Which was finding me in a dungeon with a bound civilian.

I still believe that I could have talked my way out of it and make him give me a second chance like he did with Malfoy but that wasn't truly an option due to fact that the bound civilian was his daughter. The fact that she was telling me to hit her harder before Harry found us might have made things a bit worse.

Sure his claims didn't stick since everyone saw it as a father being overprotective over his daughter but the man became even more determined to prove that I was a dark wizard in the making after that.

Which somehow led to him always busting into my home after I had sex with someone. Making my fear of him being a pedophile come back.

But now, he actually had found me doing something… less than legal.

Turns out goblins are far better at finding and identifying people who steal from them compared to wizards and decided to sic Harry Potter on me for stealing goblin silver. Just for that slight I went back and stole some more but that's not important.

It was kinda funny that Harry had managed to put that 'Dark Lord' title on me because I had stolen silver from a race of greedy buggers instead of all the other things that I did. Like experimenting on Re'em blood, keeping five X danger rate magical beasts without license, possession of illegal and dark magic items, third degree llamacide or trying to use alchemy in order create my own personal harem of kuudere blondes. That last one didn't work out though.

But no, it was stealing goblin silver that got me into trouble. Which was weird since I was pretty sure all the people in our community hated those greedy little shits.

"John Walker, you are surrounded! Come out with your hands in the air and surrender!" Huh, they were here earlier than expected.