It hurts....It hurts so bad

*Ring Ring

~The number you are trying to call is not picking up. Please try again later~

SHIT!! Why isn't he picking up the call? Nakul had just reached home and the moment he did, he tried calling Dhiraj. After Gracy broke the news to him, Nakul's anxiety spiked. He googled to confirm the news, looked up on Youtube, and everywhere he got the same result.

All these sources said the same. That: Dhiraj Raghuvanshi was spotted with the recently debuted, 22 year old actress Anaya Singh, sparking various dating rumors.

And the pictures and videos of them walking hand-in-hand [Acc. to Nakul's POV] only added to the legitimacy of the claim.

Nakul's blood was boiling. He kept pacing back and forth in the living room, not even able to comprehend what to do next. He had so many questions. Why did he do this? He said he loves me. He said I am his world. Then why is he with this girl? His eyes teared up. When pacing back and forth didn't do anything to calm his anxiety, he sat down. He closed his eyes and he rested his head on the couch. Calm down. I'll ask him everything once he gets home. Deep breaths...

He inhales in. But only a sec later he sat up. As if something had possessed him, he picked up his phone once again and googled Dhiraj's name. Is there any update? What he found were only more articles speculating, how Dhiraj and the young actress might've met; Was she the new girlfriend who was going to be added to the long list of his flings; do they compliment each other; Will he be financing her upcoming projects; and many such things.

Scrolling through them only cracked more of Nakul's nerves. He wanted to stop himself from looking at those articles but like a toxic cycle, he couldn't help but look them up. No, no , no!.....I need to talk to him. Nakul's anxiety caught the best of him. He called Dhiraj once again. Rings went by as Nakul waited for him to pick up the call.

Pick up.....Pick up.

Seconds passed by but no one received the call. WHY ISN'T HE ANSWERING ME? Nakul reached his limit. His heart pumped faster than ever. Louder than ever. The vein on his forehead, all the way to his neck was visible due to the sheer amount of strength he applied as he clenched his jaw tight in rage. His body temperature rose. And in that moment of anger, he smashed his phone on the ground.

His body was turning red. But in no way was his anger pacified after reacting so violently. He....He felt like there was so much fire trapped inside him. So much....to the extent that he felt his chest stifled. His mind wanted to do something to let out that rage, all that negativity trapped inside him. THAT BASTARD!! HOW DARE HE BE SOMEONE ELSE WHEN HE HAS ME?! I LOVED HIM.

*CRASH!!!!!!

Nakul kicked the glass coffee table in front of him, with all his strength, shattering it into a million pieces. That helped him release some of the anger that was trapped inside him. But the questions won't stop.

I loved him..... As if in shock, Nakul dropped on the couch, with his hands on his head. He wasn't able to understand why Dhiraj did that?

Is it because I'm always mean to him? Or because I don't say....or do things that a couple would do? Or because I didn't tell him that I love him too? But....but I do.....I really do!!!

He rubbed his eyes in frustration, simply not being able to understand the course of events. That's when a nefarious thought entered his mind.

Wait a minute. He did the same with Tanishqa too. He cheated on her even when they were together. He...he has always been like this. He only fucked people. He wasn't serious with them. He left her when we met....

Nakul's mind started treading in some dangerous waters. He started drawing up conclusions on his own. His doubts and fears started getting the better of him.

If he did THAT to her.....why won't he do it to me?

And those conclusions only messed things up even more inside Nakul's head.

I guess...I guess this is karma. Since she had to go through the pain of the person she loved betraying her because of me.....God is punishing me by making me go through the same.

His eyes widened as fear mixed with anxiety started appearing more evidently on his face. In nervousness he scratched his neck, so much so that his skin inflamed with little streaks of blood visible. The tears he had been holding back, resurfaced.

But why is God doing this? God made him for me right? Helplessness engulfed Nakul as he felt worthless. He placed his legs up, pulling his knees closer to his face as he made an attempt to hide himself. The tears only flowed more. Then why is he making me go through this?

But that's when something stopped him. Maybe it was a sense of entitlement, or simply his monochrome traits, taking over him.

NO....he is created for ME! He is MY chrome. His existence is for me.....I can't let him go. I can't let some bitch steal him from me.

The insecurities and the fears of a monochrome started taking a form in Nakul's mind. He started biting his nails, something he had never done before.

Because if he's gone....what will I do then? He has become so important to me.....my...my life is so good because of him.....I can see how beautiful life can be BECAUSE of him.....

Suddenly breathing became difficult for Nakul. He found himself somewhat hyperventilating in fear.

If...if he isn't with me....all of this happiness will be gone.....

Images of a life without Dhiraj flashed in front of his eyes.

NO!! I can't let that happen....what will I do, if he isn't with me?!!! Will my life even have a meaning if he's not with me?

A colorless world. A depressed life. No warmth. Only ice cold blood flowing through his veins. Won't death be better than living such life? A subconscious thought entered Nakul's mind.

And that thought only made Nakul's heart ache more. The wails of his broken heart he was trying to muffled couldn't be held back any longer. As he finally let go himself and let his grief speak,

"Why did you have to do this to me, Dhiraj? Why did you have to betray me....it hurts....it hurts so bad....."

* * *

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