1 Chapter 1 - Ascendancy
The human mind is truly a paradox, sometimes it's so tough that it can withstand the toughest of experiences and grow as a result while, other times, the mind can shatter from even the smallest occurrence.
Minds far greater than mine have spent countless years discussing the subject and, while I make no claims to a superior intelligence I do make a claim of being an opinionated little shit, like so many of my generation.
All my life I've been above average but never on a genius level, not even close. Don't get me wrong, I am smart…or I WAS smart, huh, weird, more on that later. Anyway, I had some measure of intelligence but I never really applied it. I never really studied, except only during the last minute. I was, for lack of a better explanation, THAT guy, the one who says that he hasn't studied, while actually believing that he hadn't, but still got some of the best grades.
Well, I mostly studied just to get my family off my back. Studying was never a means to an end. All that I ever wanted in life was to live comfortably, at my own pace.
So, through all my life I did just that, went on with my life at my own pace. I got decent grades, left home at 14 in order to study in a better highschool in a bigger city. Then, later, after finishing with that, I left once again, further away to a better college in an even bigger city. I both liked and disliked going away from home at such a young age, by doing so I got what most teens desired, freedom but I also lost some of the care and love provided by living in the very loving environment that was my home.
Anyway, I hadn't even finished college properly before I found myself hired by a decent multinational company. Got in touch with them through being pushed into entering a competition by a friend and somehow ending up in the international finals. No, I didn't win, I was barely interested in it but I still put in some amount of effort, said effort, apparently being enough for me to become recognised and hired early.
This lead to me skipping most of the final year of college by barely attending classes but still ending up with a good grade.
All in all, this lead to me being employed in a generally boring but decent enough job, it paid the bills, kept me fed and helped feed my small and ever growing gaming/fanfic addiction.
Now, I bet you're asking yourself, why should we care about the life of a generally lazy but kinda happy guy?... wait, 'happy' is an exaggeration, it's more like a feeling of being content accompanied by a weird feeling of depression caused by… uh, life in general?
Anyway, again, why should you care for the life of one who was a dime a dozen? The life of an average dude who never did anything special, who was neither overly kind nor was outright bad?
Well.. I'm not that guy anymore, at least not physically.
I think me might be dead.
Now, how did I die? Dunno, simple as that, one second I was at home, smoking a cigarette and trying to write my first fanfic and then, whoosh snap crackle death.
.
.
.
I'm lying.
Nothing exciting happened, just blink and you're gone, now you see me, now I can't see.
Anyway, where was I? No, really, where AM I?
I tried looking around a bit but either it was a whole bunch of nothing or I couldn't turn around due to whatever form I inhabited.
For all I know a big titty dommy mommy was behind me and was waiting to gobble me up.
*chuckle*
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"You've got to be shitting me" were the first words I spoke since getting acquainted to my new state of un?/being.
*chuckle*
"Right?" I continued my plea. Now, don't get me wrong, I was confused as to what my desires were, on one side we have nothingness, sweet comforting blacky inky nothingness but on the other side a possible encounter of the first kind with an otherworldly being of uncertain gender.
'Uncertain gender?' I hear you ask, but, dear listener, we're talking about a being of unknown terrible tendencies, a BUTT. On one side it might lovingly mommy you, only for later on to take it's 20 inch dozer and ram it u-
"Hahaha"×4
'Oh god, there's more of them, oh god they can read my min-'
"Yes" interrupted a husky, female, voice.
"Damn" I said and let out a ?sigh?. 'Seriously, how does it work, sighing without a body?'
"Damn indeed" replied the same voice.
"Okay, so… what's up?" I asked, still rather perplexed by the whole situation and my inability to do literally anything else other than talking.
"Now, boy, I eat you u-"
*bonk*
The feminine voice said before she was…bonked…
"You shall cease this senseless prattle Slan, do not attempt to assault the master without his consent or approval" said another, masculine voice. Obviously the bonker.
"Void! You dickless dickwad, you cannot understand his beauty~!"
"Hihihi so says the virgin tho-" intervenes a third, childlike voice but couldn't finish due to being interrupted by Slan
"Ubik, finish that sentence and I will make you wish that-"
*bonk* *bonk*
"Cease your prattle. You're confusing thy master. Conrad, thy assistance is necessary" asked the second speaker, Void
"Hn" responds a fourth voice.
"Very astute, Conrad, thank you. Now, master, one would assume you have questions"
"But he didn't say anything…" murmured Slan loud enough for everyone to hear.
"That's because you aren't cultured enough to understand, Slan" added Ubik.
"Hn" the astute Conrad astuted.
Meanwhile, I was on the border of surprised pickachu and utter confusion.
"Ha! I understood that reference!" said Ubik with what I could only assume was a sage nod.
'Again with the mind reading'
"Ara, master it's just for our first, beautiful, meeting, we will stop soon~"
"Indeed, my lord, my sincerest apologies for our use of such a crude art in your presence but it is completely involuntary but yet needed to tether you in this plane before your ascension. Please punish us later!" added Void.
"Punish me~" no need to mention who said that.
"Ahem. I have questions, many many questions" I decided to intervene before the readers forgot I was the MC.
"You need but ask, my lord"
"Okay, first question….
What.the.fuck?"
"A very good question, master let me explain"
"Aight"
....
One very, very long exposition that the author was too dumb to metaphysically and philosophically understand, imagine, and explain I found myself standing on a pitch black demonic palm that was stretched with all five fingers rising in the air.
Yeah they turned on the lights after I reminded them of it.
On each finger stood a throne that jutted out of the underside of the extremely long fingernails. On each throne stood, or floated in one case, an individual, 4 males and 1 female.
We have Void, the brains of the operation, hehe, brains. He literally was a skelly with a big brain kn his head.
Ubik, a floating but cultured midget.
Conrad, a fat and bald Uchiha.
Slan, a seductress that had taken the concept of female body armor in video games too far. She literally was wearing a corset that didn't cover her breasts and was hiding her privates with the tips of her black wings.
And lastly, the fifth and final member… Grunts… who didn't speak, he'll, he didn't even grunt, not living up to his namesake.
Anyway, apparently these five were the members of The God Hand, aptly named after the giant hand upon which they stood.
Apparently, this was MY hand.
Which didn't make sense because I was/am a human but with some bullshit explanation that made use of time, space, element x and something nice, made sense for me.
"Okay" I began "To recap so that we are all on the same page. You 5 are primordial omniversal beings that represent my will but you came into existence even before I was born so that you can observe the omniversal creation until I was born on Earth thus developing my personality until it was the moment for me to die so that you can ascend me. This, meaning that I can fulfill the mission that was ingrained in you from your birth? Coming into being? Creation? Ah fuck it, anyway, you fulfill your purpose in my ascension thus making my existence able to subconsciously create you waaaay before the beginning of the omniverse so that you can ascend me so that I can…. No, I'm stopping, enough time down the rabbit hole. Did I get everything right?"
"You put it eloquently so, master!" Void says and smiles a skelly smile.
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"That's so bullshit" I deadpan.
"Such is the way of existence my master" sagely saved Void.
"Hn" beautifully put, Conrad.
"Yas" slay, Ubik.
"Master is the best~" thank you, Slan.
"..." I'm not even going to deign you with a response, Grunts.
*sigh* "Anyway, what now?"
"Now, we begin the ascension, your highness"
"Then what, Void?"
"Whatever you desire, that's why we exist"
"Okay, how are we doing this?"
"Well, we could do it the boring way by just giving you your full power and then you do whatever your heart desires. But that isn't what your heart desires, is it, my master?"
"Indeed it isn't. You probably know but the last part of my life was dominated by calmness, depression and boredom. I don't want that"
"We know, master, truly. So, we have prepared for this day. We have read and studied all the works of your previous life and, after deleting or correcting the NTR universes, we have prepared a journey for you, filled with fun as you ascend"
"Alright, I'm trusting you with this. Anything else I should know?"
"Yes, if you agree to this we want to temporarily erase your memories of the worlds you will be visiting. You will have everything else, intelect, intuition, luck-"
"Tendency for finding yourself in spicy situations~"
"Ahem, thank you Slan for the addition, that too. Basically, you will forget the plot but will have a feeling when something important is about to happen, it is entirely up to you if you want to act upon it"
"Interesting, I guess it makes the whole thing more fun, not knowing what's happening or how the world operates beyond the rudimentary basics"
"Indeed, also, most of the worlds will be what the mortals call 'AU', we will make some…changes"
"Cool. Ah, Void, in case I forget"
"Yes master?"
"My family…?"
"Ah, yes, do not worry master, their souls are blessed, they will never want for anything. Also, time in your original world has been frozen, whenever you feel homesick or your heart misses them, you can visit anytime, regardless of the state in which you are in your current world"
"You did good, guys. Thanks"
"Always"
"Let's do this, how are we doing this?"
"The first world has been selected. Your soul will go into the body of a recently deceased 9 year old boy, then the first part of the ascension begins. After that…"
"After that what?"
"You do whatever you want"
"Cool, but why a 9 year old?"
"It's for the plot, master"
*sagely nod* "Ah, I see"
*sagely nod*×5
"Ready, master?"
"Ready, I'll miss you guys, no matter how weird you are"
"Awwweee, master will miss meee~" added Slan with a blush.
"Yes, Slan, I'll miss you, all of you, even you, Grunts"
*nod* ".."
"Let us begin the ascendancy!" Void said solemnly.
*clang*
With a grand ceremony the God Hand rose through the void of the astral plane. It rose until it reached a mirror like image which represented my first world.
*clang*
The God Hand effortlessly broke through immaterial barrier and arrived in the new world, unseen by mortals or immortals alike.
I glanced down from my hand, still in my soul form and saw a broken body, a boy, small and malnourished with fresh blood flowing from his mouth and torso, dying his chin and chest red.
I sigh while looking at the body, my body to be exact. You see, I was not actually taking the body of another, previously, the body was inhabited by the smallest sliver of my consciousness, living like me but not quite. It was a life I lived/will live but for me, it will be like watching a movie.
I didn't really want to take over another, felt bad man. Don't get me wrong, I would feel bad for that guy but it wasn't any skin off my back, tragedies happen every second, can't care about them all.
No, the reason I wanted to inhabit what would entail to be my body in this world is that I want to be me, not someone else
*clang*
"Let us begin, master" said Void.
I simply nodded and floated down, inserting my soul into the broken body.
A black substance encased the body, making it look like it was enveloped in a cocoon of Darkness.
An egg.
They began chanting, even Grunts and Conrad, I cursed because I couldn't clearly hear their voices.
*clang*
You are our progenitor
*clang*
Our king
*clang*
Our master of darkness
*clang*
ARISE, FEMTO
*CLANG*
*CRACK*
The egg broke and with it, the world would.
—-
Written on Phone, heads up.
A.N. This is just something that came into my mind while listening to the song The Fifth Angel by the band Beast in Black. Check them out if you like Berserk.
Anyway might continue this story, might not, don't have the best track record with my last story. I kinda ran out of ideas and then I had to change my job while thinking about how to write it.
OK, so the premise of this story is that there is no real premise, no real plan. It's just for fun and wish fulfillment.
And it's probably a harem, most likely.
A hot pot for my ideas if you will. It will be updated if I have inspiration and it might even have some small breaks, I'll try to keep them short. But I'll always come back.
Have fun.
