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HP: The Big Bad Wolf

Bailed, gives a lazy guy a few wishes and sees how it works out. That is all that is required to comprehend the story if one wishes to engage in its reading. Picture is an AI art done by 3D1viner on DeviantArt. If the dude complains, I will change the picture!

Ikaru5 · Book&Literature
Not enough ratings
43 Chs

Chapter 03: Something to fucking think about

[Part 01: I am a fucking Zoan!]

As I made my way to the Great Hall, I began pondering on the true purpose of the ritual.

Why go through the trouble of creating a ritual whose true purpose has eluded people for centuries if all it does is make you stronger and bind you to the lunar cycle?

If that's all it accomplishes, there should be easier alternatives, right?

I believe the true intention was to create something akin to a Zoan fruit user, although the creator surely had a different name for it. Being able to transform at will like an Animagus while retaining all the advantages of the animal within, as well as the power to curse people passively.

I consider Voldemort's case, who underwent several rituals and sacrificed much of his appearance, even his nose and cock, for the sake of power. Surely, some genius's have also considered combining the integration of certain animal aspects within a human with the Animagus ritual, right?

How does one integrate Parseltongue into their genetics if not through some insane ritual? Or the ability to transform into an animal—why does it have to be random? Surely, I can choose an animal as a base template and combine that with a human while adding in some other things, right?

Midway through my thoughts, I focused on my nails, and almost immediately, they warped and changed into claws like those of a Sabertooth's from Marvel.

"Fuck me!" I cursed aloud, willing them immediately to change back.

'The person who came up with this ritual was one insane son of a bitch!' I thought to myself. Not only do I have a passive buff chained to the moon, but it also has an active and semi-active buff that I can 'will' like an Animagus, as well as an integrated maledictus curse I can spread.

"Why isn't information about this widespread? Did the person fail in their own ritual, surely not! Or maybe they succeeded but didn't share their knowledge, but why? Or perhaps there's a clan of people who know about the ritual but aren't sharing their knowledge!" I pondered as I entered the Great Hall and noticed all the unwanted attention directed towards me.

*Sigh*

"Oh, woe is me, to have seen what I have seen, see what I see!" I thought as I observed all the unwanted attention.

Lily was eye fucking me, apparently wanting to talk to me about what was going on between me and the Marauders. The Marauders were eyeing me, ready to pounce and run a train on my ass.

The Slytherin's were staring at me as if I were the most desirable bachelor around to throw at Moldy, so he can spank my butt. And finally, the low budget Gandalf! He was looking at me as if I had an affair with his lover Grindelwald, and he had just found out about it, but was willing to try polyamory with me.

"Seriously, what's wrong with the people in this hall?" I muttered to myself as I made my way towards the Slytherin table.

[Part 02: Go fuck your momma, boyo!]

I moved to the Slytherin table, sat down and started to wolf down my food which is actually quite delicious, but before I relish in enjoying my food. Life and fate both decide to be bitches and fuck with me! The degenerated "Boy Band" of the Death Eater's has me surrounded.

'I don't want to stay in the company of these morons longer than needed.' I thought as I started eating even faster. 

'Why are these guys so hyperfocused on me?' I wondered, considering I was a known half-blood, anti-social, and gloomy as fuck because I got cucked by James Potter. What exactly did they think they could gain from me?

 What exactly do they think they can get out of me?

"Severus, here's the book you wanted!" Luscious, Lucius Malfoy exclaimed as he tossed a book onto the table.

"101 Spells to Bring Your Inner Shine Out." What a name, I say out loud, but I took the book and placed it in my bag nonetheless.

"Well, most spells in the book are a bit too much for my taste, but there are a few that are really useful." A boy sitting beside Lucius says.

"Thanks. You'll get it back in a few days," I replied, refocusing on my food.

"No worries, Severus," Lucius assured me.

Minutes later, as I finished eating and prepared to leave, I felt two hands on my shoulders, holding me back. It was Crabbe and Goyle, the original ones, not their dimwitted offspring.

"Is there something you gents want from me?" I asked, though it was evident they wanted something, given their sudden physical closeness.

"Well, Severus, there is indeed something we need to discuss. Tracking you down has proven quite difficult, as you've been evading us," Lucius explained with a smile that revealed a few too many teeth that are sparkling way too much.

I couldn't help but wonder why his teeth sparkled so much. Perhaps that spell was in the book he gave me. The thought of having sparkling teeth gave me a hard-on; imagining myself trolling people with a sparkling smile at the most annoying times felt like an emotional orgasm.

"So what is it that you want from me?" I ask Malfoy.

"Tell me what the deal is between you and the group of assholes," Malfoy demands.

"I told you it was a prank gone too far," I reply calmly.

"No. I feel there is more to it. First of all, you are not moping around! Second, you started acting strangely. And finally, you approached Regulus Black! You are behaving oddly, and odd is something that I want to know the reason for," Malfoy says, crossing his arms and resting his elbows on the table as he watches me intently.

*Sigh*

"Go fuck your momma, Boyo!" I say, finally losing my patience.

*Gasp*

"What?!" Lucius asks, shock apparent on his face.

"Lucius, I give absolutely zero fucks about what you find odd, or who you think you are! I am not one of your goons, minions, or boy toys!" I say with a deadpan face.

"I think you should consider the next words that come out of your mouth quite carefully!" Lucius says, his veins showing.

"Sure. GO FUCK YOURSELF, LUCIUS!!!" I shout, and the whole Great Hall falls silent, pin-drop silent.

 

[Part 03: What was that for, Bitch?]

As I attempted to stand once more, I felt their hands pushing me down again, but this time, I refused to yield. With a sudden burst of strength, I pushed back, causing Crabbe and Goyle to stumble, their expressions displaying visible shock at being overpowered.

Seizing the moment, I turned swiftly and delivered a powerful punch to Goyle's face, the impact causing him to fall backwards, knocked out. I hear a voice in my head shouting 'Lethality!!!'

Before Crabbe can process what is going and act, I grabbed him by the back of his head and forced his face down onto the table with a resounding thud.

Grabbing a nearby knife, I drove it into the wood right in front of Crabbe's nose, the blade quivering menacingly.

"Stay down, you piece of shit! Lucius, my friend," I said threateningly to Crabbe, before addressing Malfoy, emphasizing the word 'friend' with a hint of sarcasm. "I will say this just once: do not start fights you cannot see through. I am civil with you because we have a mutually beneficial relationship, but I am not one of your lackeys you can command around."

Leaving the Great Hall before anyone could react, I strode through Hogwarts, my heart pounding with adrenaline, yet my mind surprisingly tranquil. I typically avoided unnecessary confrontations, preferring to keep a low profile even with the Marauders, to avoid drawing the attention of professors or the headmaster. There was simply no need to escalate the situation further.

However, something deep within me snapped at the way I was spoken down to by Lucius. It was as if my authority had been challenged, and the alpha within me demanded to assert its position.

"Well, I need to get a grip on this," I said bitterly to myself as I made my way through the corridors. Thankfully, with the school year drawing to a close, the incident would likely remain contained, sparing me from becoming fodder for the Hogwarts gossip mill.

Exiting Hogwarts, I found myself at the main entrance gate, the sight before me is insane. The vast expanse of the Great Lake stretched out to my left, its tranquil waters reflecting the soft hues of the setting sun. In the distance, the ominous outline of the Forbidden Forest loomed, shrouded in mystery and danger. 

Taking a deep breath, I felt a sense of freedom wash over me. Despite the chaos within the castle walls, and the chaos brewing outside Hogwarts, at this moment I felt peace.

Well, my brief moment of peace was abruptly shattered as I felt a forceful shove from behind, propelling me forward. Turning around, I was met with the fiery gaze of an angry redhead.

[Part 04: You wanna talk? Sure, let us talk!]

"What was that?!" Lily shouted angrily, her voice piercing through the tense atmosphere.

"Hello to you too," I retorted, attempting to regain the peace that had been abruptly snatched away from me.

But peace seemed elusive as Lily shoved me again.

*Sigh*

"Lily, I warn you! Do not push me!" I gritted through my teeth, feeling the frustration building up.

"Or what?" I heard someone speak from further away.

"Oh, Mr. Potter and company. What a surprising pleasure," I said, rolling my eyes at their presence.

"What were you thinking, Sev?" Lily demanded.

"Yeah, Sev, what were you thinking?" Black taunted, mimicking Lily's tone.

"What was I thinking? Maybe I'd had enough of being shoved around by people I consider beneath me. Maybe I was done with others dictating how I should behave. Or maybe I was just making it clear where I stand in the social hierarchy," I explained, pondering the reasons behind my outburst.

"Haha, Snivellus, you're killing me," Black laughed, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

"Is that so, Black?" I asked, unable to resist the urge to push back.

"Yes, it is. You're talking as if you're more than just a greasy git," Black sneered.

"See, Lily! The best friend of your stalker is insulting me. Oh no, Mr. Black Sir, please, I am but a mere half-blood basking in the presence of your esteemed self and your group of purebloods," I mocked, well aware of Black's disdain for his heritage.

"Flipendo!" Black shouted, pointing his wand at me.

Time to test a theory of mine. I turned the back of my hand into werewolf hide and slapped the spell away.

"Haha, bitch, please!" I exclaimed happily, my test a glorious success. My hide was magic resistant, to what extent, I wasn't sure, but any resistance was better than none.

Apparently, Black took it as a challenge, unleashing a barrage of spells at me, each one narrowly missing as I dodged them effortlessly.

"Severus, stop!" Lily's voice cut through the chaos.

'Dumb bitch! Are you blind? I don't even have my wand out! All I'm doing is dodging,' I cursed mentally at her audacity.

"Are you done soon, Mr. Black?" I asked, growing increasingly annoyed.

"Not until I make you grovel at my feet, Snivellus," Black spat, his anger evident.

"Okay, I'm done with this shit," I declared, preparing to confront Black head-on. But just then, another spell zoned in on me, Potter pointing his wand in my direction.

"Mr. Potter, I thought Gryffindor was the house synonymous with honor and courage, but it seems you don't live up to that standard," I remarked, falling back.

Lily and the Marauders looked at me with varying levels of anger, hate, and worry.

"Why, Sev? Talk to me!" Lily demanded.

"You want to talk? Sure, let's talk," I said, my irritation palpable.

"Why did you attack Malfoy?" Lily pressed.

"What is it to you? It's not like I attacked someone from Gryffindor," I retorted.

"You shouldn't attack anyone!" Lily shot back.

"As expected," I muttered.

"What do you mean?" She asked, her voice tinged with confusion.

"Lily, let's face it. Our friendship is one-sided. All you ever do is take! You take my time, my attention, my expertise in magic, but you invest nothing into this friendship. You hang out with your friends, you openly defend the bastards who have their wands out and pointed at me while I'm unarmed," I accused, pointing out the current situation.

"That's not true!" Lily protested angrily.

"Lily, are you blind or just plain stupid? First, I get attacked by Lucius. I defend myself and leave, get stalked by you, get attacked by Black. But I shouldn't even defend myself, and when I do, I'm the evil one! It doesn't matter if I'm fighting another Slytherin or a Gryffindor, I should get ganged up on, get beaten, so that you can feel better, and if I don't, you try to guilt-trap me?" I questioned incredulously.

"That is..." Lily started.

"That's exactly the scenario! We've gone through this enough times. Lily Evans, I want to end whatever this relation is we're having! I cannot, as a self-respecting human, keep this farce going," I declared with finality.

[Part 05: Bitch Slap!]

I mount Potter and punch him like five to six times in his face, then I stand up walk over to Black and start pissing on him.

"See Black! This is why Family is important! The only reason everyone is not out to terrorize your sorry ass is th ename you carry, but as you don't respect it, you are all on your own, mutt."

I look towards Remus, and he flinches back the wolf in him seemingly understanidng that he is just a beta bitch.

"Haha, see that, Prongs?! Told ya the slimy git won't be a problem!" Black exclaimed with glee.

"Now, to you four! Up until now, I held back for Lily's sake, but not anymore! I'll clap your asses so hard you'll think you have lost your V-cards!" I declared, my anger boiling over.

"What is that even supposed to mean?!" The rat asked, bewildered.

*Cough*

"Something along the lines of us being utterly fucked!" Remus explained to the retarded rat.

In the blink of an eye, I vanished from my spot, reappearing right in front of the rat. With lightning speed, I threw a devastating punch, causing his teeth to scatter like confetti.

"One down!" I roared triumphantly.

"Expulso!" Potter shouted, his wand flashing.

"Flipendo!" Black cast, his spell zooming toward me.

But I was too quick, dodging the Expulso and deflecting the Flipendo with a swift flick of my wrist towards Remus. In a flash, I lunged at Black, delivering a powerful blow to his gut that sent him sprawling, doubled over in pain, and throwing up his just eaten lunch.

I turned my attention to Potter, but Lily intercepted, leaping in front of him. Undeterred, I grabbed her by the shoulders and hurled her aside, clearing the path to Potter.

"I told you I am done!" I snarled, Bitch slapping the Bitch in her bitch face towards Potter, using his moment of shock to charge at him like a bull.

As I throw Potter to the ground I moiunt him, and start pummeling him mercilessly, each blow landing with thunderous force, until his face was a swollen, bloody mess. With a final punch, I sent him into dreamland, defeated.

As the chaos unfolded, I glanced back at Black, who lay in a heap, whimpering in agony. With a wicked grin, I sauntered over and proceeded to piss on him, a fitting humiliation for his arrogance, and for a dog.

"See, Black! This is what I think of you! Without your families backing, you're nothing but a pathetic mutt," I taunted, relishing the anger in his eyes.

Remus cowered, his wolfish instincts recognizing my dominance, and telling him that he is a little beta bitch. With a triumphant smirk, I turned and walked away, leaving behind a scene of chaos and asserting my dominance over the would-be bullies, and the dumbest bitch on the planet.