A Sociopathic Asian American

A/N: Being a veteran Webnovel author, I'll put some disclaimers at the beginning for insurance and so I can delete bad reviews without having to explain all the time about them when I delete them.

Just to clarify, by deleting bad reviews, I mean reviews that flame "plot holes" or story developments that are clearly mentioned in the tags or the synopsis.

You can criticize anything else for all I care. You can even criticize this disclaimer.

Anyways, biggest thing right now is that the first 2-3 chapters contain a lot of satire in them, but only because I wanted to speedrun the cliche parts of a Harry Potter fanfic whilst making it funny for you, the reader in the process. The tone of the story gets a lot more seriousness after the 3rd chapter, and it'll read like a regular novel.

Disclaimers: Two love interests, self-insert, OC MC, and the MC doesn't follow the Golden Trio around (or becomes Harry's lapdog/caretaker for that matter), he might get himself involved in a situation or two though.

...

There was once a time when I thought that I could do nothing more in life.

Being an Asian, I, of course, had it a little more difficult during the first 18 years of my life, but when freedom struck, I left with it.

No more parents, no more nagging, no more being perfect, I could do what I wanted in college.

But who would have known that the habits that had been drilled into me as a child had for some reason, stuck with me this entire time.

And so, what do you know? I graduated top of the class MIT, took a data scientist job for Nile right out of college, got married to a girl that I didn't really love but had certainly pretended to, and lived a life that would make any Asian parent proud.

It was at this point when that thought I mentioned at the beginning had come to me.

Lost my V-Card? Check.

Had a kid? Check.

Become a billionaire? Check.

There was literally nothing else for me to do.

Looking out onto the cityscape of New York City shrouded in both darkness and blinding lights at night from my balcony connected to the penthouse suite that I had rented out for the next few decades, I wondered what had gone wrong.

"Ringggggggg!"

Answering my phone, I asked the reason for why this mother fucker was calling me so late at night.

"Boss, congratulations, you've just become the richest man in America."

I didn't even answer him and hung up.

What? Don't look at me like that. Business geniuses were supposed to be eccentric after all.

And yes, starting from a measly data scientist position at Nile, I had, in the span of only 5 years, climbed my way up to the top of the company.

Of course, there was no way in any reality that I could have done that through my own ability as a data scientist, if you get my drift.

Well, if you looked and truly studied the most successful people of the past few decades like Beff Jezos, Mlon Eusk, or Gill Bates, then you would have noticed one commonality between all of them.

That they all were, in the end sociopaths.

Nah nah nah, I can already hear y'all's whining, but seriously, stop the cap.

They were sociopaths, deal with it.

How else then, could they have screwed over the lives of thousands, sometimes millions to get where they were today?

And, even if you don't believe me at this point, then just realize that this is a piece of fiction that you're reading and that I can view the world any way I want in MY work.

Alright, alright, back to the story, what I had been insinuating up to this point was the fact that, I too, was most likely a sociopath.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't trying to self diagnose here, I wasn't a doctor after all, but seeing how I like, had no feelings at all for anything or anyone except one person in my life, it was again, most likely that I was a sociopath.

There was also the fact that I had used hundreds of people, wrung them dry, and then tossed them to the gators during my ascent up the Nile chain of command.

Ah, I guess I wasn't a true sociopath though, because of that aforementioned person, but she had left this world a few days ago.

If only I could see that smile that lit up all my days for all those 5 years again, that smile that washed away the dirt and grime that would accumulate on my suit everyday as she hugged me as I came home.

Yet, I had already gotten over her death already, seeing how I was asking that question of if there was anything left for me to do.

Or you could say that this was a coping mechanism, but I preferred the first interpretation of my situation.

I was, in all senses of the phrase, "done with everything."

As the rushing wind caught my suit, I haphazardly climbed over the ledge of my balcony, calmly staring down into the abyss of light that was New York's streets.

'It's a long way down.' I thought to myself, as my tie was eventually untied by the wind and fluttered away into the night sky, briefly casting a shadow over the full moon as it pass through my field of vision.

"See you on the other side, my sunshine." I whispered into the wind, it and maybe a god being the only witnesses to my last moments on this accursed planet.

And then, I jumped.

...

Speedrun.

World?

"Give me a random one."

Harry Potter it is.

Two powers?

"Gojo Satoru's body and the obscuration of whatever goes on in my mind from any entity."

First wish was too OP, there'll be a catch to it.

"That's fine."

Okay, bye.

...

I woke up in the body of an 11 year old.

Oh? What's this? An owl delivering me a letter? How original.

Not even bothering to look at the contents of the letter, I threw it into a puddle with no hesitation before climbing out of the trash can that I had been sleeping(?) in.

It seemed to be night time, and looking into another puddle in the alleyway, with only a neon sign as a source of light, I studied my reflection.

'Welp, I just look like a younger version of Gojo who doesn't like his hairline showing.'

Yeah, there was no way in hell that I would go and purposely get that Vegeta-like hairstyle later in the future.

I was content with the wavy bangs on my head.

Also, it was at this moment that I realized that I had been "seeing" through a pair of sewn shut eyelids.

'What the fuck is the background of this kid?'

Well, it didn't really matter much to me anyways, as I started feeling the cursed power that flowed through my veins.

Make no mistake, I was certainly overpowered.

'So then, what's this restriction that's been placed on me?'

'And what the fuck will be my goal? I mean, I don't wanna just go around face slapping, even though you Chinese Cultivation Novel enthusiasts would love that.'

'Hmm... just give me a moment, I'll be sure to make up some bullshit reason for why you should read this fanfic by the time the next chapter comes out..."