80 Please Be Gentle

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(A/N: This Chapter is dedicated to you my faithful readers, and I know some of you went ahead and clicked on the relevant ads to boost our stats and make maintaining the website easier. Yeah I've got data like this…it's pretty scary actually, I'll tell you about the full extent if you're interested. Anyways, thanks for boosting us, this is an extra chap meant for you.)

It was a pretty nice day for Luna Lovegood, and not only because Roger Davies fell off the stairs for the twelfth time this week.

The weather was pleasant, she had very little work to finish, perks of having a ridiculously competent friend who doesn't care about your work ethics. The students were still riding the high from the previous day's ball, this kind of residual joy was the perfect form of population control for nargles.

Luna rather enjoyed the ball, Longbottom while meek was in the end of day a pureblood heir from the line of Augusta Longbottom, and that battleax of a woman made sure he knew how to dance properly.

Magnus did scare him, of course, which was completely unnecessary and nearly killed her date, twice.

She did not resent it however, not as much as Padma anyways. But even she would forgive and forget in time before Magnus could even realize she was mad at him, it was simply how the three of them operated.

"Wait, weren't you seeing McMillan?" She asked her ginger haired childhood friend.

Ginny Weasley had been good to her, even if their different sortings made them drift apart somehow. She made sure to meet her every once in a while, to get the perspective of someone who wasn't overprotective and older than her.

"No, I dumped him last week, it got boring." Ginny rolled her eyes, "I'm with Cormac now, but I'm thinking about cutting him off too now that the ball ended. Harry didn't even look at me once, for the entire day! He probably thought Cormac wouldn't stand a chance compared to the boy who lived…I have to aim higher to make him jealous."

Her confidence was outstanding, to say the least. Luna didn't have it in her to say that Potter was more attracted to Poppy Pomfrey than his friend's little sister.

If he was even capable of attraction, that boy's issues had issues. And unlike her and Magnus, his problems didn't counter each other.

She absolutely didn't resent him for drooling at Cho Chang of all people, one of the nargle infested hussies who bullied her when she was small and lonely.

'Well…smaller.' she thought, looking at her strangely petite form.

"He'll see that other men are seriously attracted to me, and he'll want some of that hot stuff too." Ginny smiled wildly, blushing as she doubtlessly dreamed of her life as the next Mrs Potter.

"Obviously." Luna didn't realize that she said it, since when was her voice so soothing and masculine?

"Mind if I steal her for a bit?" That part wasn't said by her, for sure.

"…Alright." Ginny was a blushing mess, nothing new. "You won't tell Harry, right?"

"Tell him what?" The voice was amused, and Luna somehow started levitating.

Was this the power of the legendary Horsknacks? Was she going to be taken to serve as breeding mare until kingdom comes?

Her father had warned her about this, saying that small adorable girls like her must beware of the Hornsknacks. Lest they steal her away from her home, if only she heeded his words.

She could do nothing but helplessly watch her red-faced red-headed friend getting further and further away, resistance was futile since Hornsknacks could nullify even the strongest magics.

"Please, be gentle." She sighed, giving up.

Such a pity, her life was looking so bright and glorious. For something that began in such wonder to end like this…truly a pity.

"Wording, Luna." Her forehead was flicked in a way only one creature could perform, all attempts at replicating this gentle attack paled in comparison.

"Magnus?" She asked, in a mix of hope and dread. "What are you doing?"

He didn't put her down, and now that her mind was clearer she could feel him holding her by her waist in the 'Simba Style' as her muggle-raised friend would say.

"Duh, I'm kidnapping you." She didn't see him, but she knew he was tilting his head and looking down on her with that disappointed gaze of him. "I'll be busy later, so we'll have to do our bonding right now while I look for our masterful minus-sized mentor."

That was preferable to being repeatedly assaulted by invisible magical creatures, for sure.

She was also glad he remembered to spend time with her, he'd usually just shut himself out for a couple days with no warning or care for their feelings.

Then he'd come back stronger, brighter and with so much chocolate no woman in the world could refuse to forgive him…especially since he looked sincerely oblivious to their righteous anger.

'Well, as sincere as Magnus can be, you never know with him.' She thought, not minding it that much.

He accepted her as she was, and it was only fair if she did the same.

"Okay." She said, at-ease.

..

A few people looked at them strangely, but seeing Black and Lovegood was enough of an explanation for them. She waved at a few portraits, and those gentlemanly suits of armor who answered with a knightly salute.

"You don't want me to put you down?" Magnus asked, amused.

"No, I'm good." Luna said.

He knew if his father was there, he'd make some sort of disgusting pun about a Lovegood feeling good or some nonsense only that overgrown puppy could come up with.

He ended up putting her down, eventually.

The blonde chipmunk might be light as a feather, and he gave a very limited amount of fucks about the students they passed by. But carrying a grown-arse girl simba style for so long was bound to strain his arms.

He absolutely didn't neglect his physical training for the last couple months, nope, no way in hell he'd do that.

The two of them walked in silence mostly, except for Luna telling him about the latest rumors and what she's been up to recently. He liked knowing what's happening, even if he'd rather not be involved in all the troubles.

They reached the right corridor of the third floor, and already they could hear the school's choir singing whatever nonsense they taught them.

Music was supposed to sooth the souls, inspire the heart. The only thing this crap inspired him was a vivid image of an overgrown buffalo taking a dump on his ear.

"He better have some good answers." He said, gritting his teeth while Luna skipped ahead to open the door.

"Why? I rather like it." Luna said, of course she did. "Professor Flitwick isn't here, apparently."

'Wait, what?' Magnus walked ahead, ignoring the cacophony in front of him to see just who was leading that bunch of human-looking banshees minus the sweet release of death.

"Who's this?" He asked Luna, instead of the small jolly professor there was a young-looking woman.

Well, young by wizarding standards, she was probably in her late thirties.

"Oh her, that's Professor Charity Burbage." Luna said.

"Doesn't ring any bells." He admitted easily.

"She teaches muggle studies"

*Snort*

"Magnus, you shouldn't laugh at a teacher!" Luna said, mimicking a certain bushy-haired girl…well, she's less bushy now, but the hair potion would wear off in a couple weeks.

"Sorry…no, in fact I'm not even sorry." He couldn't help but chuckle, "People really take it as an elective?"

That was beyond him. They could take runes and learn how to make enchantments and wards. Take Arithmancy and become a spell-maker. Take Care of Magical Creatures and see, raise and interact with beasts that make absolutely no sense on a biological level.

But no, people would rather take muggle studies because…he had no idea why they would ever do that, he could somewhat understand the purebloods trying to get a feel but why were there so many muggleborns studying it?

'Same thing for Divination, people try to see the future in twigs and coffee cups…at this point they probably deserve whatever shit they step into.' He shook his head, letting Luna do the talking with the freeloader.

He'd approach her himself, but he was very much tired of always curbing his true feelings not to offend people too badly.

"Apparently, professor Flitwick took a week long leave from teaching. Something about a three day long charms convention…" Luna said with a smile "Do you mind if I stay here? They're about to practice "A Good Day To Cast", it's my favorite."

"Of course not, have fun." He said, throwing one last candy at her before taking his leave.

'Weird, the national charms convention was five months ago.' He'd know about it, he dragged Sirius and Tonks there two years in a row. 'Maybe it's an international event?'

That sounded a bit fishy to him, Flitwick never took a leave in all four years he'd known him. He could be sick, tired and in need of a good month of solid rest and he'd still come to teach.

It was something he'd admired about him.

'Leaving for some event was unlike him…perhaps he was really invested this time.' Magnus put his mind to rest, it wasn't important in the end.

He just needed to wait a few days. Hell, maybe he'd find a solution on his own by then…though that was unlikely.

Magnus let go of his paranoia just in time to see a strangely dressed woman with bushy, poorly kept hair and ridiculous glasses that made her eyes seem beady and enormous.

She was dressed like a stereotypical fortune teller, but she mixed every single trope and version giving a comical result. There was a limit to the amount of bandanas a single person could wear, a limit she ignored heartily.

He could barely think of a dozen different insulting remarks before the stench of alcohol struck him, Magnus scowled in disgust.

'A drunkard in a school…couldn't you just kidnap her in your basement, Dumbledore?' He thought.

Her so-called gift was the only reason the headmaster made them suffer her continuous presence, even if he was the only one who's ever seen in it action according to McGonagall.

The two of them had the same opinion on Divination and those who practiced it, either foolish people who wasted their time instead of practicing real magic. Or scammers; parasites who feed off people's ignorance and naivety.

Either way, distasteful people.

She seemed eager to tell him something, but at as a sane human being who valued both his sanity, freedom and nostrils and had no intention of compromising them for that living insult to both gypsies and basic hygiene, Magnus made sure to avoid her, stepping into another corridor and exploiting the complex and ever changing maze that is Hogwarts to stay the fuck away from the walking time bomb.

He's exaggerating? She technically caused the Potters death, the Longbottoms gruesome insanity and his own father's wrongful imprisonment.

Telawney made both Voldemort and Dumbledore walk straight to their dooms with smiles on their faces and feeling all superior and chosen by fate.

Divination is bad.

'Great, now my mood is ruined.' He scoffed internally, that wouldn't do.

Magnus had many things planned, things that relied on him being in good spirits and eager to get some work done. But that could be fixed easily, some time with his sweet flower would be good for him.

'It's been a while since I had a chat with Sirius too.' He reminded himself, his day was looking brighter already.

Now, which overly convoluted way to contact the Beauxbatons Champion should he use this time? He could go to the carriage and knock, but that was for the plebians.

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Author Note:

Hey guys! It's Uncle Sheo!

Here's a nice little chapter, some Luna time (It's been a while) and a bit of potentially very important ideas thrown in the mix. Next chap will be a fluff chap, obviously. Maybe some Dobby will be thrown in the mix, who knows? Not me! We never lost control!

Ehem, sorry, got a bit carried away.

Peace and Cheese!