The Me in the Mirror

"Dahlia, allow me to be frank with you. Ellie showed me what love is, therefore I can't be cruel to you and bind you with an arranged marriage that was decided by our parents. I wish we could freely marry the one we love and not out of duty. Let's renounce our engagement."

That was the last thing I heard from Leon, who was my fiancé, before the world turned dark – literally. It's embarrassing, but the young and sheltered me, that never have felt such pain like that before, couldn't handle it and fainted on the spot.

Don't get me wrong. It's not Leon's fault, well, partly, but that doesn't matter. The reason why I fainted was not the breakup, but the memories that came rushing in, breaking like a broken dam. My consciousness was washed away like a piece of drifting wood by an incoming wave.

Foreign sceneries I've never seen, people I've never met, places I've never been to, names I've never heard of before… feelings, memories, knowledge… there is no way I could describe the pain – if I were to say those things were introduced to me by knocking a hardcover book repeatedly on my head – that would be an understatement. It felt more like someone drilled a hole into my skull and fed me all those pieces of information by mercilessly and randomly cramming them in.

Like a leaf in a storm, I lost control over my surroundings. I saw the world around me, sometimes in slow motion, sometimes going by as fast as batting an eye. A second became an hour, an hour became a day, a day became a year, and suddenly life flashed by. What I would see and where I would go was not for me to decide. I wasn't sure whether I was dreaming or living, spectator or participant. I felt familiar but alienated at the same time. All I could tell was: I felt a deep connection towards that person in front of me. Was this woman me?

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I opened my eyes with a groan. A sun flooded dawn-tinted canopy was the first thing I saw. Where am I? Who am I? Right, this is my room, and I am laying in my bed… my name is…

"Miss Dahlia! Oh, thank God, you're awake!"

A young woman, dressed as a maid, came rushing to my bed where she had stood guard, not daring to leave me out of her eyes even for a second.

That's right, I'm Dahlia Rubin, eldest daughter of the Duke of Highmount and Northwall, Henry Rubin and Duchess Martha Rubin… fiancée, no, it should be ex-fiancée of Prince Leonhart V. de Marin… but…

"Miss…" the glee that the maid felt upon my awakening slowly disappeared, and so does the joy on her face when she discovered my ashen face and the despair in my eyes. One can't blame her, those things were never even mentioned in the same sentence together with my name before.

"I'm going to call M'lady!" Sensible as she was, she didn't question me but ran out of the room to call for my mother, the Duchess.

The moment the door closed, I sprang from the bed and nearly tripped myself as I sprinted to the closest mirror in the room. Standing in front of the clothing mirror, which was as big as the double door to the room, I had a clear image of myself. A beautiful female stood in front of me, wearing a light-blue nightgown, even though the sun had risen high in the noon. She's looking back at me with astonished purple orbs as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing with her eyes, which were, in fact, my own. Despite being unkempt, her lustrous silvery hair fell in thick waves over her body like liquid mercury. I couldn't resist and run my fingers through them… they felt cool to the touch as if gliding through silk, they too, were mine.

I stared at those fingers; my fingers were long, tender and without a flaw, like porcelain that was kept exclusively on a silk cushion as to prevent it from taking any harm. Those fingers, one could tell at a glance, have never known any hardships before.

Absentmindedly, my gaze returned back to the young 'miss' in front of me. With her ethereal looks and the immaculate body of a young female, not yet a woman, but no child anymore either, I could say without a doubt: she is the most beautiful being I've ever seen in my life. She is the kind of beauty that common people do not dare steal a glimpse from, in fear, God would become angry at them for gazing at his most finished creation. Yes, Dahlia Rubin was the most outstanding beauty and a renowned elite of this world, but at the same time, she will be the most tragic figure of them all, because that was her fate…!

How would I know? That's because I am her God! I am her creator, and she is my creation at the same time!

"N…noo..o.." a slight whimper escaped her throat, but it still sounded like soft wind rushing through cherry blossoms. Pressing my hands at the mirror as if to make sure that it's actually not another person in front of me, I couldn't keep the strength in my legs anymore and slowly slid down to the ground. A burning sensation hit my eyes as they became misty with tears. The muscles in my face distorted, but even then the girl in the mirror was still beautiful, making people want to gauge their heart out if they could keep the pain away from her. But I wanted to scream!!! Because all of her resentments were directed at me.

"Get out!!" She bellowed, startling herself. Holding my head in agony, but staring wide-eyed at her, who was mimicking me, with confused eyes. The one in the mirror shed one tear, then, as if knowing what my deepest, darkest fear was, smiled a cruel smile that tore my heart apart.

Once again, I fell into darkness, losing control over that body, not knowing whether it was me who lost consciousness or her who lost the interest to torment me.

"Why…", I heard her whispering, dread and grief but also indignation resounding within. "You're my God, my creator, why would you make me suffer so much?" Another tear ran down her flushed cheek, but I couldn't do anything to alleviate her pain for I was in as much pain as she was.

"I am sorry, I am so sorry..." I sobbed, not knowing if she was listening.

"I will make it up to you... I... I will rewrite your history..." And then, darkness engulfed me.