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How to love a sociopath

Love.... What is this emotion that you speak about... Does it even exist.... To me?.... I'd never forget the day she smiled at me after I asked her why she was the way she was, I remember her asking me if I could handle it, if I could handle her...I laughed and look away from her eyes in moments like this, her confidence overwhelms my heart, so I crumble and and look away before I collapse. "I'm a sociopath...." She whispers making my neck snap back to her searching for that joking smile or laugh but she just raise a brow and struggled to hold in a laugh. "Ha see I told you, you can't handle me Khalid, stop wasting your time not that I mind though" she mutters before looking back up at the sky and sliding her eyes close probably due to the beautiful wind that caresses our being. For some weird reason I was unable to say a word but instead I just stared as her face that was now exposed due to her laying down on her back, every time she says those words I'm speechless, and she feels the need to remind me every time about her diagnosis, even though I want to pretend that it does exist, I guess this is her own way of caring, telling me how dangerous she could be...I probably should listen but I can't- "I know what you are thinking right now....I would not waste my time trying to defend myself nor would I try to proof to you about how am a good human being and blah blah blah, this is just me, emotions don't exist to me but transactions of self gratification do...if you don't like me then I dare you to walk away" those were the words she said to me the first time she ever revealed her diagnosis to me while staring up at me with her beautiful gummy smile. as if what she had just said to me was nothing big, as if it wasn't something that could make a human run far far away from her being, as if it was not something that could make me neurotic, and I don't know if I'm just plain stupid or not right now, but my feet still refused to move no matter how heavy the word that escaped from her lips felt against my being, I didn't move.. not even an inch, as my brain yelled at me to leave, Run and to flee, because these are the very people my parents told me to stay away from when I was younger they gave the word danger the meaning it has today,for they were the complete nuisances and deviants to society, or at least that was what everyone said simply because there is still currently no cure to this type of wounded minds in which these specific section of people possess, so of course,it's better to stay away from them right?, right?. But maybe she herself knew that I couldn't do it, that I couldn't walk away from her while being entrapped in my emotions and being enchanted by her beauty. I've heard from people that love always tend to make one weak and indeed she already has me on my knees and she knows it and I guess that's the scary part of it, maybe that's why she dared me walk away, with her cold eyes captivating me in a trance along with her beautiful smile, perhaps I'm stupid...because this was a very clear red flag, but here I was ready to sign myself up for that. "Pleasure to meet you once again" was all I said in reply giving her a goofy smile making her raise a brow at me, with a thoughtful look on her face before she smirked and shook her head..I wonder what she was thinking about right now... probably about how stupid I am or even more..that's one thing I've always disliked about her..it's almost impossible to read her but she knows how to read everybody within 3-5 minutes max, she reads the room like it's the back of her hand in her calculated mind...and then she goes on further to block you out with her beautiful innocent yet cold big Brown eyes..with her calculated gaze which still surprisingly able to make you feel comforted, understood and safe. And What a big mistake it is to believe that she cares about you enough to keep you safe when to her the world and relationships are simply all about what she can gain.

Wanderers_Concept · Urban
Not enough ratings
11 Chs

Chapter 7 : We should probably begin…

Please do take a little time to vote and add this book to your library, it would mean the world to us, thank you"- Wanderersconcept

James POV

"A friend in the time of need, is a friend indeed or at least that's what everyone says until they realise you were spreading yourself thin, then what happens within?"

James lets out a sigh, now isn't that one heck of a test, not to be dramatic but he literally felt like his brain was about to melt off or fall off whichever one it is, didn't seem so far away right now.

He unconsciously bites on the edge of his pen anxiously while trying to figure out the answer to the question 4, nobody cares about the botanical name of some plant...like what the hell is that?

To be honest James couldn't even pronounce any of the options here and they expect him to know it all off head, and just when he thought all hope was lost...he felt what seemed to be a leg nudging unto him from the desk behind making him sit up straight, confusion clustering his thoughts

...what is it now?...can't they see that he is still struggling to find out the answer to his own questions...

James tries his best to ignore them but the person refused to stop, making him lean backwards in attempt to tell them to stop basically but he got cut off and was surprised at the persons first words instead.

"The answer to question 4 is B" A familiar voice states, making his eyes widen in confusion because...what in the world!?.

"what?" he couldn't help but to whisper back in what felt like panic yet confusion.

"I said the answer of number 4 is B, remember what the lecturer taught us two days ago?, he just used a different way to apply the questions but the whole test questions are about exactly everything he had taught us in the class before" the girl whispers softly making James' eyes widen in disbelief, he couldn't help but to glance back briefly wanting to see who it was that was helping him but when he did, he seemed to be unable to meet her gaze due to the fact that, she was totally focused on the paper in front of her...ticking away the answers calmly...

how can she be so calm when she had just taken part in exam malpractice, but who is he to judge?, when he needed that answer anyways?.

So he leaned forward and when he went through the questions this time with the mindset and memory of the last topic they were taught, the test was exactly about it and nothing more and not to mention, the answer to question 4 really is B now that he thinks about it!.

Goodness!, how was she able to figure it out within such a short notice, they had just been handed out the test questions  barely 7 minutes ago?, hell how could she know the question that he was struggling with when she was sitting behind him?, these were questions that he would obviously not be getting any answers too, so he chooses to focus on finishing his test successfully instead.

It wasn't long before James made his way towards the front of the class in other to submit the paper to the lecturer with a confident smile on his face...he was sure of himself this time, he is very sure that he would ace it due to the tip he got from that mysterious bird earlier on, he made his way back to his chair in other to gather his things in other to leave, when he remembered something...the girl!.

And when he raised his head and there she was staring at him, with her gaze on him as if scanning him out of curiosity, he swings his backpack unto his back before making his way over to her.

"Oh hi, I'm James, remember me?, the one that showed you around a few weeks ago, thank you so much for the help you rendered earlier on, without it, I most definitely would have flunked this test, I really do appreciate" He thanked her with a sheepish smile making her let out a soft sound of laughter as she shook her head in protest.

"ah no please don't thank me, oh trust me I remember you, its hard to forget someone like you, and about earlier on it was really nothing huge, I just figured out the pattern of the test and you looked like you were struggling so I decided to share" She states nonchalantly making him raise a brow, now how is she able to figure out a pattern in Biology when he is still unable to figure out the pattern of how to find all of his things before class every morning?.

"Pattern oh wow, now that's something new, I need to start seeing those in my life to fix it but that aside, I really do appreciate, I know that you're new here so if you ever need any help  please do let me know, I'll be glad to help you anytime" James says out in gratitude making her nod slowly almost as if she had something on her mind but before he could ask, she spoke up first.

"uh I'm sorry but if you really don't mind me asking, you know we have a test on mathematics tomorrow, I've not really had time to come around memorising the formulas and stuff, and I heard from our course mate that you are pretty ace at it, so would you be able to help me please?" She rambled but for some reason she raised her head and caught his gaze while saying the last sentence,radiating confidence.

James smiled in reply;

"Of course, I did say I'd love to help you with anything Crystal and please don't apologise to me, it's really nothing...how's your schedule for today like?" He asked out of curiosity to see if they could tackle this problem of hers.

"um free after this because this is my last class for today" she says in reply making him to nod in reply.

"same, how about we head out now or shall we rest for a bit and meet up later instead?" he suggests making her shake her head in disagreement.

"ah no I'm fine, there's a lot to cover so it's better to start now, that is if you are not exhausted?" she states but trails off towards the end leaving endless room open for discussion.

"In that case, I know the perfect place, it's not too far, it's on campus so we should be safe to return back at anytime of the day" James states enthusiastically as if it was not him that was exhausted even before the test had started earlier on, while the curly haired girl trailed behind him almost as silent as the sound of a needle falling unto the ground.

Just as James had said it didn't take too long to arrive at the place, a place which Crystal was totally unaware of, so she glances around curiously after taking a seat.

"it's a really nice place for reading, when the library is too full I usually come here, the atmosphere is unusually calm here due to the fact that not too many students are actually aware that this restaurant exists so it's usually not rowdy" James rambles cutting Crystal from her train of thought, she focuses her attention back to him and nods in understanding.

"here's what you ordered for" the waiter announced while placing the tray of food in front of them.

"thanks man" James calls out to the waiter who smiles in appreciation of the young man's manners.

"um We should probably begin" James announced, making Crystal nod in agreement as she reached into her backpack pulling out her books only for James to reach a hand out in disagreement, she raises a brow at this.

"No, not that , I haven't had anything to eat since last night so lets enjoy our food first then we can study" James states making her nod slowly at that.

"oh okay" she states with a smile before she could blink she notices the boy raising his phone to take a picture obviously so she reaches out her hands to block her face from showing.

"was that necessary at all" she questions in irritation

"of course, Albert Einstein once said for every mukbang there's a need for a selfie" James replies playfully not taking notice of her annoyance

"that's a lie, he never said such a thing" she exclaims with a laugh in disbelief

"oh but but he did...you just haven't figured it out yet" James says playing along

"Reverse psychology doesn't work on me" She says out of the blue, staring at him as if she was daring him to try

"you sound almost too sure of yourself" he says with a raised brow, he loves a challenge plus he is an ace at reverse psychology.

"just like yourself?" She questions making him raise his hands up in a surrender position, why is she all of a sudden so confident today, that was not the little miss he had met the other day.

"whoa calm down lady, did you have to start up a flame strong enough to burn me like that" he asks playfully in hopes to light up the serious atmosphere

"learn to ask for consent first, most girls would find the fact that you didn't ask before taking a picture rude" She states making him nod in understanding, acceptance and defeat.

"But you are not like most girls are you?" he questions her playfully making her roll her eyes at him.

"just eat your food, James" she says with a sigh but she was unable to hide the amused smile that was on her lips as she stared at him.

"fine...but on a serious note, I'm sorry about that though, sometimes I just don't think things through but I didn't mean anything by it, I even forgot you were beside me"  He confesses making her let out a small smile.

"Glad to hear that am so memorable, like you said James...I don't really care about stuff like that, post it or whatever...just alert me next time.…" she states before stuffing her mouth with the food laid in front of her as if to leave no more room for conversation, and James got the message.

The two of them went on eating in silence, as soon as they finished up the waiter came forward and packed up the dirty plates

Meanwhile the two then brought out their books and dived right into it...mathematics, while they were working solving a few problems and cramming some fomulas, the sound of the door hitting the wall was heard making everyone in the restaurant flinch, they all glanced at the door in unison and there came in someone that James had least expected to see…

didn't this boy have a class by 3?" James questions himself while glancing at the wall clock in which the restaurant owned,  it's two minutes away from 3 currently, trust James to have this info saved in his brain because the other boy seems to forgets things too easily and is in need of alarm clock which he seems to break every week.

"kh-" James started to say but got cut of by the sight of the young man running towards him, making his eyes widen in disbelief and before he could blink, the drink that was in his hand was snatched while next to him, a familiar boy collapsed unto the seat.

James watched as the boy gobbled down his whole drink before he turned his attention back to him, ah so finally I exist to you huh?" James thinks to himself out of amusement.

"youuuu so this is where you have been!"  Khalid says in an accusatory tone making James raise a brow in confusion

"me?, why are you here?" James questions right back making Khalid let out a laugh in what looked like disbelief,

"oh I had no other choice, I've been blowing up your phone endlessly but you have been here ignoring it all, dude you gotta help me please" the boy states, gripping onto his shoulder and shaking him like he was a can of soda.

"Help you? what's going on?, dude stop shaking me, I'm about to throw up" James announced, making Khalid immediately let go as if he had finally received a slap back to reality, thank the heavens.

"i'm so sorry James about barging in, I didn't mean to barge in on your date like that, I just really had no other choice, I had no idea that today was the day I  told the guys moving my things to my apartment to come, but they are already on their way and I can't tell them to go back because I told them that at least three times already in the past due to classes and today I would have skipped but then I can't because it's test week, if you don't have any classes for the rest of the day then, can you please help a brother out" Khalid rants endlessly making James eyes widen in understanding, he nods slowly.

"but I'm currently busy" James states pointing out the obvious making Khalid let out a sigh as he readies himself to plead with the said female whom James is 'busy' with.

"I'm so sorry miss, would you mind me stealing him for the rest of the-" Khalid started to say but trailed off towards the end of the defence as he caught the said female's curious gaze from across the table, it was a face he couldn't forget even if he wanted to!.

"ah so it's you?" he exclaims in disbelief but not once did the said female crack a smile or a look of realisation.

"what are the odds that I'll actually see you again?, Carmel city surely is a small town, and about last time I couldn't say it properly but,I'm so sorry about that incident" Khalid rants now obviously forgetting about his own issues, as he remembers that unfaithful day and suddenly feels embarrassed by his action, he never actually got to apologise before she brushed past him, while in anger.

"last time?, you met her before?" James questions out of curiosity of this whole revelation of Khalid's.

"yeah of course- Khalid started to say but Crystal soft voice cuts him off

"no, I have absolutely no idea on who he is" Crystal states, making Khalid's mouth fall open in disbelief…because what was the reason for that obvious lie?.

"But we met remember?, I bumped into you and then you fell and got mad at me before I could call for help in fear of you having a concussion since it was a hard hit!" Khalid tries to make her remember.

"I really do not remember any incident like that happening and if I had seen you in the past, I would have known by now,don't you think?" She replies with a daring look in her eyes as if telling him to back off, but if there's one thing Khalid dislikes is when people are lying straight to his face, He had an elder sister who was ace at it so he could figure out lies faster than most and he absolutely loathes it.

"but how can you forget?, you even yelled at m-

"Alright Khalid, fine, I'll help you move your things, don't you have a test to attend to by 3? this is 3:15 already" James announced breaking the upcoming obvious argument that was rising between the two, the annoyance and anger long forgotten, Khalid eyes widened at the news, 3:15 oh my goodness I'm late!, I'm late!" The voice in His head yelled out in panic.

'ah I need to go, I'll see you after the test, you are such a life saver" he yelled out dramatically before he sprinted out of the cafe maniacally, while everyone in the cafe stared at the door before going back to their past activities probably wondering to themselves who was that person, who bursted in, caused drama and left.

After what felt like a tense moment, James lets out a chuckle in embarrassment shaking his head at the childish behaviour of Khalid, he looks up and there's Crystal still staring at the door with a cold look in her eyes.

"Sorry about him, he's just anxious about the test and probably stressed about the moving thing too, I'm sure he didn't mean to accuse you of anything" James tries to explain but she waves it off and a smile appears on her face.

"It's totally fine, you don't have to apologise, most people get nervous about the school system and stuff I understand I guess" Crystal states making James nod in agreement.

"Right, thank you for understanding!, so about the tutorials, I'm sorry I have to go help him with the moving stuff but maybe we can meet up later, I can even stay up all night after I've returned just to make sure we cover everything in our syllabus, since that was the initial plan" James rants feeling apologetic for cutting off their tutorial short.

"There would be no need for me to wait though" she states making him confused even more.

"Huh" was James smart reply

'I mean instead of wasting time, how about we go and help him with moving that way we would be done on time and be able to go back to studying or what do you think?" she questions with her gaze on his face, almost as if she was reading his mind, probably weighing how he is going to refuse and leave her all alone to study on her own.

"oh that sounds like a plan" he exclaimed happily glad he could help them both at once, hopefully he won't be spreading himself thin, like he always does, thinking and caring for others but never for his own self.