Prologue
Is there any way to end it any sooner? I pleaded as I felt the rough asphalt dig into my cheeks. The agony wasn't ending, the pain wasn't receding, and the suffering didn't stop. The discomfort that my bare face on the road felt was nothing compared to the misery my broken, twisted limbs and bleeding forehead felt.
My chest, with a few crushed ribs, heaved up and down rapidly, gasping for all the air it could. A desperate attempt to cling to life. This pain, it's... unbearable. I want to die..... yet at the same time, a simplistic desire, a desire that every creature possess makes me cling to life. I want to live.
Why won't it just disappears!
As if listening to my plea, the pain subsided. No. I lost all my senses, actually. Strength. Hearing. Sight. Touch. Everything went blank. The last thing I saw, heard and felt was the sounds of sirens and the shaking this panicking boy gave me, probably trying to keep me awake and Alive.
I closed my eyes, it didn't matter whether they were opened or not, it was already completely black.
I died.
Closing them will bring me peace... That's what I thought but..... what is this?
I was floating among a nebula of stars, geometric shapes, numbers, binary sequences, DNA patterns, all fused and intermingled in perfect symphonic harmony. They wafted upward, swirled, blurred, became clearer, came down, went up. It was endless.
I was floating among a nebula of stars, geometric shapes, numbers, binary sequences, DNA patterns, all fused and intermingled in perfect symphonic harmony. They wafted upward, swirled, blurred, became clearer, came down, went up. It was endless.
A different dimension?
My heart didn't beat, neither did I need to breathe but still my body was there. Slightly intrigued by the luminosity radiating from my body, I floated around to observe my surroundings. It looked the same in all directions, as even if it was different, it was hard to figure out the differences between these nebulas bursting with colour and these mathematical and scientific patterns, interacting with such harmony.
Harmony...? Order...? No, it isn't perfect harmony. I thought. No, this is a little chaotic too. These vibrant nebulas bursting with colour... They seem to represent creation... Unease crawled up from my stomach to my chest. Something instinctive? I didn't know.
I don't want to see it, is what I willed, the whole dimension reverberated as if it was waiting for that thought and responded to it.
Everything that existed in this place, dulled. The vibrant nebulas turned pale grey. Everything exploded to become pale grey dust.
It gave me relief. Something instinctive? I didn't understand.
Soon only darkness remained. I floated, didn't mind the loneliness, it didn't even occur to me that I was alone.
'No emotions that affected me in my human body seem to have an effect now. I guess perks of being a soul. If I really should be called a soul, that is.'
As I drifted in this space, a word involuntarily came into my mind. The word felt familiar, not in the sense that I knew its meaning....... It was like the word was a part of me.
The word seemed to define my existence, My meaning, my purpose, my entire soul.
I smiled. A peaceful smile. I again closed my eyes and mouthed the word but didn't speak. The word, DISINT....