1 Whoever invented basements is a sadist and I hate them

Buckle down motherfuckers because I'm about to tell you the story of why I hate basements.

A feeling of calm serenity fell over me as I stared into the darkness of a fucking portal. I think... I think this is what it's like to accept death.

"Got any last words?" My friend standing beside me seemed to have already figured out our fate as well.

There was only one thing I could say in this situation. In our last moments together after years of friendship. I grabbed Isaac's hand, gazed into his deep brown eyes, and...

"Isaac I... I broke your limited edition Aria Lomare figurine."

The sound of the portal slowly sucking the air and light out of the room filled the silence between us. It consumed my parents' research papers, old toys from my parents' childhoods, weird books that look like props from a terribly written fantasy movie and all the other miscellaneous items scattered across the room. Should I start to apologize now or after my neck has been inevitably snapped?

"I'm sorry. Could you repeat that?" He turned to me with a smile, "I don't think I heard you correctly."

"Well, you see, I was gonna put it on the little roof thing on top of your front door because I thought it'd be funny but then..." My speech slowed to a halt as I finally noticed the intense murderous rage silently emanating from him.

"Oh no. Please continue. Enlighten me, dearest Cade."

My voice was hardly a whisper when I said, "the only way I thought of getting it up there was to throw it."

Another round of silence waved over us.

His voice began to match mine as he spoke in a low whisper, "Are you aware of how much that figurine costs, Cade?"

"Like, four grand?"

"I'm going to fucking kill you."

This is why I hate basements. It makes me admit to stupid shit like this. This basement is the cause of my friendships deterioration. This basement is the reason why I have a whole two options of how I die today. I could probably blame all of my current issues on this basement and you could too. My daddy issues? Basement. Did your wife cheat on you? Basement. Do you have a whole two fucking options on how you die today?

Two words.

Fucking. Basement.

I took a step back, away from the murderous intent taking over Isaac. The power of friendship is bullshit. I shall choose my fate, thank you very much, and the step away from Isaac happened to be the step towards the portal. With a salute and a smirk that probably just added fuel to the fire, I took another step back and was swiftly swept away into the abyss.

The words 'you little bitch' echoed through my head as I was swallowed into the inky darkness.

But let's rewind for a second because y'all are probably just as confused as I was. You're probably asking, 'but Cade, where did this portal come from?' Well, have I got a story for you.

That was a lie, I don't. It was quite simple really.

Step one: come home from school with my homeboy Isaac.

Step two: go into the basement because he kept calling me a pussy for not wanting to go in there.

Step three: find this black rectangle carved into the wall, surrounded by runes.

Step four: I touch it.

Step five: a fucking portal appears.

Step six: profit?

I don't fucking know either! I guess the moral of the story is to not touch random cult shit in your own basement. Hindsight really is twenty-twenty.

As I fell ever deeper into the lightless void, a few memories washed over me. People often say that ones life flashes before their eyes the moment before one dies, but that wouldn't do this feeling justice. Every moment that had ever come to be crammed its way into my mind, drowning my head in every emotion all at once. Birthday parties I never really wanted to go to, my first pets funeral, the one time it snowed on Christmas, my favourite Halloween costume. Everything I ever was and everything I never came to be infected my mind. Everything.

The darkness weld into my lungs; it tasted like time and the beginning of everything. I felt everything and no matter how much ecstasy was in it all, all I could feel was the pain.

Then nothing.

Well, no, not nothing exactly.

The familiar feeling of a cotton blanket and the.... not so familiar feeling of a stranger's arms holding me. The cacophony of screaming, crying, hurried footsteps and worried shouts, was a welcomed break from the, most likely, traumatising event of falling through the universe.

My sight was still barely existent with everything being just a blurred spectrum of grey. Although. my hearing was somewhat intact. Somewhat.

Over the screams of a baby, I could hear the soft calming words of a woman nearby. I would probably be able to hear her if someone were to shut this fucking child up! This is why you should always use protection because children are probably the most annoying little troglodytes known to mankind.

Seriously, someone needs to hush this kids mouth before I-

Wait.

Question.

Why does my throat hurt so much?

Why can't I see anything?

Why can't I say anything?

Wait.

No.

An abnormally large finger began to toy with my hands. Or, alternatively, a normal-sized finger began to toy with my tiny hands. As I gripped onto it and the cries emerging from me began to quiet. The same, soft voice cut through the rest of the commotion surrounding us.

"Welcome to the world, little princess Aria Saint Lomare."

Aria Saint Lomare.