he/him

"Father, I want to be a man."

"What? Society doesn't approve of such things."

"But-"

"Enough. You will be who you are, and no one else. That is final."

my love is a woman, and she is beautiful.

she walks around, comfortable, ignoring the hateful glances,

the annoyed mutters, the distraught faces.

i look at her and i see a woman, proud of her gender, her sexuality.

"Society be damned," she says forcefully, gazing into my eyes,

"For no one will persuade me to leave you, my love."

at my house, i walk quickly to my bedroom.

i stop in front of the small mirror on my wall, and stare,

at my frizzy hair, my slightly apart eyes, a little red,

at my disproportionate body, and i shift, disturbed.

i look at the masculine and the skinny men,

the scared and the so called "brave",

i look not at the emotions, but the way they walk, all at ease,

and that is what i crave.

i meet my love, later that evening,

i tell her my wish, my yearning for another body,

but she looks at me like i'm vermin,

like i've betrayed her by exposing my deepest secret.

a small part of my soul breaks off and walks away with her when she goes.

i remember her words about no one persuading her to leave me,

no one, but myself.

i trudge home, and i'm met by my mother.

she takes one look at my face,

leads me inside,

asks me to tell her, what has bothered her child.

i hesitate, at first, but my tears break through.

she listens to me carefully, patient,

without any judgement,

only pure love.

"Fear not, my child," she whispers,

"You shall become who you want, lest it be a man or a woman."

now i call myself he/him,

now i, ignore the hateful glances,

the annoyed mutters, the distraught faces.

"Society be damned," I smile, walking through the crowds,

"No form shall please them, but as long as i'm satisfied,

my life shall go on."

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