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Honkai Star Rail: A Gambler's Fallacy

A gambling addict dies from gacha salt and wakes up in the Herta Space station. Sounds like a dream come true for some, however there is just one problem. Aster has never played the game... He only knows two things 1. How to gamble all his life savings away 2. The perfect angle to swing a baseball bat… and hes gonna beat his way through the plot one swing at a time... art not mine

Emiya_Official · Video Games
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16 Chs

The City Of Preservation

Apologies for the delay folks.

My family thought it was a good idea to undertake a crusade against the lawn and its weeds these past few days. Many lives were lost, but in the end, we prevailed.

Hopefully, no more random crusades get sprung up on me that interrupt the writing, but for now, enjoy the chapter!

******

[The Office of the Supreme Guardian, 3rd Person POV] 

"..."

"What in Qlipoth's name is a…"Gacha Gamer"?!" The blonde woman exclaimed, stunned as she stared at the masked man in confusion. Her eyes lingered on the ominous porcelain white mask while the voices in her head plagued her, urging her to flee.

"Well…" Our familiar representative of Aha began, his muscles rippling as he flexed. With a burst of strength, he shattered the chain burrito that had restrained him, sending metal fragments scattering like a flock of startled birds. Emerging from the chaos, Aster stood tall, brushing off dust from his fake priest cosplay. 

"Let's just say…We Gacha Gamers are just built different…"' He said as he fixed his collar and walked closer to the large wooden desk.

The woman's eyes widened as she stepped back as every instinct told her to run away from this strange man. "What do you want?! Guar-!" She started to yell before a golden portal materialized, shooting a projectile at her face and interrupting her.

Upon catching the rebound that smacked her in the face, the Supreme Guardian of Belobog looked down at the would-be weapon that had just decked her. 'A…rabbit plushy?' She thought as she stared at a strange rabbit in red clothing.

"Think of it as a gift…" Aster said as he started messing with her potted plant on her desk. "Knowing how these gacha games work…there must be something bothering you, Miss President…"

"What are yo-"

"Nope!" the man said as he stuck a finger up and shushed her. "No spoilers; in fact, I want zero info. These types of games are all about the story, so I'll figure it out." Aster said as he dropped his finger and started flipping through her books on her desk.

"What I'm here to see is the cliche hot gacha women in charge and to get that dough…or, in my case, my shiny glowy rocks." Aster said as he raised an eyebrow at something in the book before closing it and dropping it into a gold portal.

"So tell me where the plot is, and I'll get out of your hair." Aster said before shrugging and tossing another book into the portal. "I want my glowing rocks, and the fastest way I thought of them was you, Miss President."

"What? Glowing rocks…" She said as she scrunched her brow. "The only place I can think of that has glowing rocks is the underworld-"

"Perfect!" Aster interrupted as he clapped his hands together. "Send me to the underworld! That sounds like an awesome idea! This is why you are the president!" 

He stopped before thinking for a bit. "Ah yeah! Give me cash! Lots of it!"

"..."

"Will you leave and never return?" Cocolia said as she held her forehead, as the voices kept hammering the idea that sending him away was the best choice.

Aster only shrugged as he started whistling.

An audible sigh was heard before Cocolia regained her bearings. "Very well…Guards!" Cocolia shouted as she chucked a pouch of Shields at the fool. Aster graciously accepted it as he dropped it into a golden portal before the doors behind him slammed open.

A pair of soldiers stormed into the room upon hearing their Supreme Guardian shout for them. They looked shocked at the prisoner being free and their restraints peppering the floor. They raised their halberds and pointed them at the masked priest.

"Escort this "man" to the underworld!" She ordered as the guards looked at her, shocked, before hesitantly approaching him.

"Why are you guys scared?" Aster said, confused before he slammed his fist into his palm. "Ah, I see!" 

Suddenly, golden portals manifested around him, spawning golden chains that wrapped around Aster in a similar fashion to those earlier. "There!" Aster said from his chain burrito before glancing at the guard to his right. "I know you guys are into this sort of thing, so this should make it easier for you…" His eyes bore a hole into the guard who had the ballgag from earlier.

Hesitantly, the ballgag guard started to roll Aster towards the door as the other guard and Cocolia stared in shock.

"Madam Guardian!" The guard said as he watched his comrade roll the lunatic away. "Are you sure about sending him to the underworld? We have kept it sealed for over a decade!"

"...It's fine…I think…" She said as she watched the masked lunatic get rolled out. "The further away from him we are, the better… We can reseal it back up after…" 

They both stood silently as the ball of chains rolled out of the doorway before the door closed behind him.

-

-

[Astral Trio+Sampo, 3rd Person POV]

"And here we are, new friends!" Sampo said as he turned towards the trio with his arms spread wide. "Welcome to the glorious city of Belobog!" 

He said this while a gust of wind blew his borrowed jacket, flashing the trio.

"OMG STOP!" March shouted before putting her hands over Stelle's eyes and turning the both of them away. Stelle began flailing her arms as March piloted her away from the basically naked man.

"What?" Sampo said while shrugging and gazing at the green dude. "Usually, people have to pay for the goods you see here. Call it a friend's discount.~" 

 Dan Heng sighed before turning towards the girls. "Come on, let's go." He said as he ushered the two to follow him. 

He then looked at Sampo and reached his arm out. "...My Jacket…Please?" 

Sampo put a hand to his mouth in faux shock. "My friend! I thought this was a gift?! Are you going to leave poor ol' Sampo Koski alone in the cold snow naked?" He said dramatically as he grasped the collar of the jacket possessively.

"Yes." Dan Heng said, deadpanning as he looked at him. 

"Oh, but my friend…What about all the bonding we have done since we met? Has it all meant nothing?"

Dan Heng proceeds to pull out his spear and aim it at the scantily dressed man.

"Ah…well, if it isn't in the nature of friendship that I return that which is yours! Here you go, friend! Have it be known that Sampo Koski would never take friends for granted!" Exclaimed Sampo as he frantically stripped himself before handing the jacket back. "Please…Don't stab me again…"

Quickly taking back his jacket, Dan Heng put it into his luggage before ushering the two girls to follow him away from the exhibitionist and towards the city.

Sampo watched on unmoving as the trio became more distant, his persistent grin dropping. "Well…This wasn't how it was supposed to go…but I guess this works…"

-

-

-

"Ugh I hated that guy bleh!" March said as she grimaced, the noise of the busy streets of Belobog's Administrative District drowning out her voice.

"Well March…At least we found the city thanks to him." Dan Heng plainly stated before looking around. "Now we just need to fi- Wait, where's Stelle?"

Frantically, the duo began scanning the crowd for their missing companion before their eyes landed on her in the distance. "There she is!" March exclaimed, her finger shooting out like an arrow towards a…garbage can?

In the distance was a certain gray-haired girl whose entire top half was submerged in a dull gray trash can. Her legs sticking out of the can as she frantically dug for some kind of "treasure. "

As the two ran over, the gray-haired girl pulled herself out, holding a lumpy piece of metal with a sparkle in her eyes.

"Oh hey, guys! Look at this! I found treasure!" Stelle said as she held the lumpy piece of scrap metal in both hands in front of her. 

"Ah… erm…" March stuttered, her mind racing with concern as Dan Heng put a comforting hand on the pink girl's shoulder, his eyes filled with understanding. 

"Let her be…She found her true calling, and we would only hinder her growth." Dan Heng said with a hint of resignation in his voice. He then looked at the human(?) raccoon. "You…made a great find."

"I sure did!" The raccoon girl said, her voice filled with pride and a hint of mischief, as she puffed her chest before stashing the piece of scrap into her jacket. Her eyes then locked on another bin across the street. "Wait, there's more treasure!" She shouted, her excitement contagious as she ran straight over, dolphin-diving into the metal cylinder.

"..."

"And it's happening again…" March said blankly.

"There truly is no turning back from this path…" Dan Heng said in acceptance.

They both stared unmoving as the trailblazer hopped from trash can to trash can as if she were at a buffet. Trash flew through the air as she dug in and shoveled the contents onto the street in her "treasure" hunt.

-

-

-

After an extensive expedition into the treasures of trash cans, the trio managed to find their way to the front of Qlipoth Fort. Upon reaching the door towards the Supreme Guardian's office, the trio stopped.

"Ok." Dan Heng said as he turned towards the other two. "According to the instructions Himeko sent us, it is the highest priority that we find the location of the stellaron and seal it. It can be assumed tha-" 

Suddenly, the door slammed open towards them with a giant ball of golden chains coming through as a brown wig fell to the ground. The ball seemed to be made of small bats molded to look like chains and was being rolled by a very tired-looking guard as he continued to push it forward. As the ball passed them, they noticed a familiar blonde-haired man whose head was sticking out of the metal ball. "Oh?! Hey guys!" The burrito said as the guard rolled him past the trio.

"ASTER?!" March and Stelle shouted in shock as they watched their still-alive companion get rolled away from them. "You're alive?" 

Upon reaching the edge of the stairs, Aster responded, "Of course I am. I'm just built different, after all. I even got myself a sugar-" The guard then stopped pushing and raised his leg up before proceeding to punt the ball named Aster down the many flights of stairs. 

"MAAAMAAA!" Aster screamed as the ball rolled down the hundreds of flights of stairs straight down into the Administrative District.

Looking back at the group staring at him, jaws dropped, the guard stood there thinking for a moment before looking back at Aster, still rolling down the stairs.

Turning back to the group, the man just shrugged his shoulders. "What?... It's been a long day…"

"..."

"..."

Just then, a deafening crash echoed through the fort as the Aster Burrito careened into a group of unsuspecting trash cans, sending them and their contents flying in all directions.

"..."

Stelle, her eyes empty as she fell to her knees and looked up to the sky, cursing whatever god let her treasures get destroyed.

"NOOOOOOOO!" She yelled into the heavens as she deflated into the ground.

"..." Meanwhile, March just gazed blankly at their traveling companion. "We are so doomed, aren't we…"

 "March…" Dan Heng began as he looked at the raccoon hammer her fists into the ground in sorrow. 

"We will be fine."

"..."

"I think…"

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