19 "My mind is set"

As soon as I set foot out of the car, the breeze almost swayed away my hat as I grabbed it and looked around with my eyes widened. The spectacular view of the clear blue water of the river Ticino and the evergreen surrounding it almost felt breathtaking to me. That was Sesto Calende, a town in Italy.

"Splendid, don't you think?" Ethan stood beside me with a smile. His hands behind his back and his eyes searching for my reaction. In the middle of the azure it was only the two of us under the gentle breeze and the car parked behind. It almost felt like a romantic fantasy that girls often have.

"Yes, indeed," I replied with satisfaction in my voice as my eyes wandered to the beauty of nature lying in front of me.

"They say nature can make you forget everything. It's a burning Truth. At least for me." I continued without moving my eyes.

All of a sudden, I felt his hands around my waist as he pulled me closer to him by his side.

"Hmm." His eyes were shining while looking ahead.

We watched the sun go down inch by inch as it turned bloody red, making the blue river into purple waves. It looked like a wallpaper out of Pinterest. My legs didn't want to leave from there.

The sky turned navy blue, making the trace of the sun completely disappear as it ceased to exist. Very soon, our surroundings grew to be noiseless and chilly. Under the deep blue dark light, Ethan turned to me.

"Let's go."

"Where?" With a wavy tone attached to my voice, I asked him while tilting my head.

"The place where we'll be staying for this week." He took my hand and gently placed his lips on the back of it while gazing at me, "It's gotten dark, my wife."

A chill ran through my spine. It's getting dark, my wife. How could I have forgotten? That was our first wedding night. I felt a rush of embarrassment and anxiety inside of me, which perhaps couldn't hide from Ethan's observation as he said, "I want you to enjoy what you see without having any other thoughts."

Not going to lie his words made me feel at ease.

______________

"Ahh! So comfortable!!" My enthusiastic voice came out as soon as I dropped myself on the cotton-soft bed spreading my arm on it. Then I gradually stared at the ceiling, and before I could start thinking anything, his voice made me startled as I jumped up to see Ethan closing the door.

"What? Why're you so scared?" He looked at me with confusion as he inserted his fingers inside the tie, pulling it out.

"Why are you here?" I said as I stood up in a defensive state.

"This is our room, remember? We're husband and wife." He took his shirt off, exposing his bare chest.

My cheeks turned hot as I covered my face, trying to control my mind.

"Hey hey hey!!! Why're you stripping?? Aren't you being too straightforward?"

"You took a shower. It's my turn." I could hear his snickering laugh. I slowly moved my hand and gasped to see him leaning towards me while smirking.

"Relax. I was teasing you. Dry your hair. You'll catch a cold." He walked away inside the washroom seeing me in panic.

I looked at the mirror from my left shoulder with my slacked jaw and red face. Tiny drops slid down my hair strands on the white robe wrapped around me.

"What's going to happen to me tonight?" I kept overthinking until he finished his shower.

Seeing him wearing a black robe while wiping his wet hair with a towel and his collarbones peeking from underneath the robe reminded me of the main characters of the novels I used to read.

"Like what you see?" My thoughts cracked up as I heard him saying that.

"L-like what? I was just surprised to see how much you've changed. You used to be skinny." My eyes blinked away, trying to avoid his gaze.

"People are bound to change. A certain someone said that." He scoffed, and I felt mad knowing that certain someone was me.

Without any further conversation, I pulled the blanket and wrapped it around me while squeezing my eyes shut. After a while feeling no presence behind me, I peeked to catch the side of the bed empty. My eyes searched for him in the dark.

"Looking for me?"

"Ack!!" His voice through the dark startled me as I flinched back and grabbed my phone to open the flashlight. He was laying on the couch with one of his arms under his head.

"You could use the bed, you know?"

"Really? Even though you were Terrified as if I would eat you?"

"You wouldn't?"

"You want me to?" He turned to me, and I could see his lips curled into a smirk as his bangs slid down, covering his forehead near his eyes.

".....Sleep on the couch for all I care. Good night!"

Hearing his soft laugh when he also said good night, I gripped my hands near my chest as I laid down and thought about his respect towards my wish. It was the same as before. He never wanted me to feel uncomfortable or insecure. Having thoughts about those made me feel soft towards him, but I snapped out of that. What was made, has been made. I wanted a free life. I didn't want a man in my life. I will leave Italy tomorrow and stay in Switzerland after signing the divorce paper without his notice.