chapter 8

The moment Tay's lips connect with mine, I freeze. I let him kiss me; I don't respond, even though I want to kiss him back. I don't want to open something that will only lead me to disappointment. He pulls me even closer, desperate. His hands cup my face, kissing me like I'm going to slip through his fingers. The kiss is full of pain and is rough. He desperately wants me to respond to his kiss, but I can't even though my body begs me to. The ecstasy that runs through just from his touch is something to me, and it scares the hell out of me that my body responds to his touch.

He breaks the kiss when I don't respond and rests his forehead on mine, eyes closed. He brushes his nose with mine, and I shut my eyes to control my emotions.

"Sorry." he whispers. His breath sends chills up and down my spine.

"It's okay." I say, and open my eyes to meet his lustful brown ones. He pulls away.

The rest of the night goes by quickly, and now it was time to hit home. Andrew did very well; all his art got sold in one night. After the moment Tay and I had earlier, we didn't talk to each other. I spent the rest of the night with Nora, Nate, and Nana. Tay was busy talking to his business associates. We arrive at the mansion and I head straight to my room. Leaning against the door, I let out a heavy sigh. I didn't realise I had. I put on my pajamas, get under the covers, and allow my eyes to burn to sleep.

****

The next morning, I wake up with a hard surface pressed against my back. I try to move but fail. I turn my head to find Tay sleeping next to me, his arm around my torso. When did he come to my room? I try to move out his grip only to have him tighten it.

"Why, Emily?" he whispers against my neck. Who is Emily? I can't help but question.

"Why?" He questions as if I was her. I turn my head to face him but find him still asleep.

"It is just a dream." I say, and he pulls me closer.

After a while, I got out of his grip. I touch his face and flinch at how hot he is. He is burning up. I think he has a migraine. I take a quick shower and put on my pants and a white tank top. I quickly put on my slippers and rushed down the staircase.

"Nana?" I say when I enter the kitchen.

"Yes dear?" Nana says.

"I think Tay has a migraine. Can you prepare soup for him?" I ask.

"How do you know that?" I didn't realise Nate was also in the kitchen.

"Nate?" Nana and I warn him.

"I will prepare the soup; in the meantime, make sure he takes a shower." Nana instructs. I nod and make my way back to my room. I find Tay trying to get up, and I rush over to him.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Of course, he is not okay, Olivia. What a stupid question.

"I have a wild headache, shit!" he touches his head.

"Come on, take a shower. Eat and then take your medication." I help him to the bathroom and leave him to take a shower. I make my way to his room to grab clean clothes.

His room is clean and organised; all the three walls are painted in dark grey. An ultra-modern bed in the middle with grey silk covers. I make my way to his walk-in closet. The closet is full of suits, t-shirts, shoes, ties, and jeans. I grab his pajama pants and a see-through white t-shirt.

I find Tay sitting at the edge of the bed with a towel wrapped around his waist, with his head in his hand.

"Hey" I whisper as I sit next to him. He snaps his head up to look at me.

"I brought you clean clothes." I showed him the clothes. He grabs the pajamas, leaving the shirt behind, and walks to the bathroom. After a while, he walks out.

He lies on the bed, pulling me with him. I sit up straight on the bed while he wraps his arms around my waist. He places his head close to my waist, and I play with his hair. Nana walks in with a tray in her hands, places the tray on the bed, and walks over to Tay's side.

"How is he?" Nana asks.

"Same." I tell her, and she lets out a sigh. She plants a kiss on his head and walks out.

"Tay,"

"Yes?" Tay whispers against my waist.

"Eat." I say, and he shakes his head.

"Please?" I plead, and he lets out an annoyed sigh but ends up releasing his grip from my waist. I pull the tray close and grab the bowl full of soup. I take the spoon and feed him. After a while, he says that he is full and lies back on the bed.

"Lay down with me?" he demands.

"Take your medication." I say.

"I want to sleep holding you. Please let me." He sounds like he is in pain, so I lie down with my back against his hard chest. He wraps his arms around my torso and buries his head on my neck. His breath sent shivers down my spine, and I let out a sigh and let sleep consume me.

****

The light coming from the bay window wakes me up. I groan and bury my head into the pillow. A door opens and I snap my head up to see Tay in a suit. He looks better than yesterday.

"Hey, sleepyhead." He says, leaning against the door frame.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"Lunchtime." he says with a smirk on his face.

"What?" Did I sleep that long?

"Take a quick shower, we are going somewhere." Well, that got my full attention.

"Where?" I ask.

"Patience Olivia." He says and walks out.

I drag myself off the bed and make my way to the bathroom. I take a quick shower and put on blue jeans, a white t-shirt, a black jacket, and sneakers. One thing I love about staying here is that I can wear whatever the hell I want. I walk out of the bathroom, grab my phone, and walk out of the room.

I find Tay in the living room, busy on his phone; I clear my throat and his head snaps to look at me.

"Ready?" Tay asks and I nod.

This time Tay takes Audi A8 and I buckle up as he drives out of the garage. The drive to whatever place we are going to is covered in silence. It is a comforting silence, far from awkward. After a while, the car comes to a halt. I look outside and see a shop, like a restaurant of some sort. Tay gets out of the car and I do the same. We walk towards the door side by side.

The restaurant is simple, yet elegant. Tay leads me to a table in the corner.

"I thought you could use some fresh air after the whole Ria thing." He says, and my heart warms up at his sweet gesture. I haven't been able to go anywhere because the media blew everything out of proportion like they always do. A waitress takes our order; we both go with burgers and orange juice.

"How are you feeling today?" I ask as I put the menu down.

"Better, thanks to you,"

"I did nothing though," I tell him.

"You did more than you will ever know." He says and leans back against the chair. The waitress brings our order before I can ask him what he meant by that.

I grab the burger and take a bite, and hum at how good it tastes. I open my eyes to find Tay staring at me.

"What?" I ask, and take a sip of my orange juice.

"You have something on your…" I touch my lips. Tay takes his napkin and leans close to my face. My eyes move along with his hand, and he wipes whatever was at the corner of my lips off.

"There." Tay says and goes back to his seat.

"Oh my God. Olivia, is that you?" A voice says, and I turn to look.

"Rachel?" I say as I push my chair back and hug her.

Rachel is my publisher. Her company is small, but she is slowly moving up the charts.

She takes a seat with the most beautiful smile I have ever seen on her face.

"You must be Olivia's fiancé?" Rachel asks while extending her hand to Tay.

Tay nods.

"I'm Rachel, Olivia's publisher." I choke on my drink. Oh no, Rachel and her big mouth.

"Her publisher?" Tay asks and looks at me.

"Oh no" Rachel realises Tay didn't know about me being the best-selling author, and I clear my throat.

"Um, Rachel is the one who published my book when I was still in school." I tell him.

"You have a published book?" he asks with his eyes wide open.

"Yep, and she is the best-selling author ever since her book was published. I'm sure you have heard of a book called 'Behind closed doors?" Rachel asks Tay and his mouth half opens.

"Behind closed doors is your book?" he asks, and I nod.

"It was my sister's favorite book. She was obsessed with it." He says with a bit of a smile.

"I know. Many people want to know the author behind those words. They want more." Rachel proudly says. Tay is still staring at me like he still doesn't believe what Rachel told him.

"Anyway, I will call you sometime regarding the second book." Rachel says, and I nod. I hug her, and she makes her way to a different table.

"Stop looking at me like that," I softly request.

"Everything you wrote in that book happened to you, right?" I choke on my drink and cough. I look at him with my eyes wide open.

"That's why you didn't use your real name. You didn't want people to know your real name, to avoid questions that will bring buried memories back, right? The nightmares." How did he figure that out? He leans close and wipes my tears. I didn't even realise that tears have already fallen down my cheeks; the secret I have kept for the last four years of my life has found its way back to my future.

Tay pays for our meal seeing my state, and we walk to his car. The drive back is full of silence; Tay has said nothing since we left the restaurant.

That guy took away my smile, my intimacy, and my confidence, and I don't know if I will ever get it back.

We arrive at the house, and I rush to my room, not waiting for Tay. I turn on the shower as I feel dirty and I want to wash everything I feel inside.

I stand under the shower with my clothes still on; the hot, steamy water hitting my whole body makes me feel better. Suddenly, I'm being pulled out of the shower into a hard chest.

"Shhhh, it's okay." I break down completely.