chapter 29

"Tay's?" I ask, not sure if I want to know the answer. I mean, Tay would have told me if Ria was pregnant with his baby, right?

"Bingo, at least you have brains," Ria says, rubbing her small bump.

"Say hi to Tay junior, come on." Ria grabs my arm, but I yank it away.

I spot Future behind Ria, her mouth half-open. It looks like she heard the whole conversation and is shocked as I am.

"Oh hi, Tia," Future says and comes to stand next to me.

"It's Ria," Ria says through her teeth.

"Same shit." Future spits and Ria groans.

"I see you have a ban in the oven," Future says and Ria glares at her.

"This ban has Payne blood running through its veins." Ria fires back.

"Oh, you wish, a bitch like you can never, I mean NEVER carry Tay's baby. Tay is not stupid." Future spits and some customers glare at us for making noise.

"I don't know who you think…" Future cuts Ria off.

"Look here, Tia, Pia, Mia, Nia, or Ria, whatever the hell your name is. If you think Tay is going to marry you, keep dreaming girly, you know why?" Future asks a rhetorical question.

"Because dreams are for free." Future answers her own question and I chuckle.

"You will not laugh when Tay tells you I'm having his baby." Ria spits at me and God, I have had it up to here with her.

"Look here, princess, you might be pregnant with Tay's baby, but that doesn't mean shit to me. You know why? Because he comes back to me, do you know who he cuddles with? Me. I'm sorry honey, but you are just another whore he encountered himself with." I lie. at Ria is pregnant with Tay's baby causes a strange sinking in the pit of my stomach. I said what I said to put Ria in her place. I still don't know how I feel about this. I can't believe Tay would keep this from me after he promised they won't be any more secrets between us.

Ria attempts to slap me, but I catch her wrist before her palm could connect with my cheekbone.

"You will pay for this," Ria says through her teeth.

"Send the bill, and I will gladly pay," I say, and she yanks her hand, groans, and walks away.

"Don't forget to send the bill!" Future shouts and Ria picks up her pace.

"So, are you going to ask Tay?" Future asks.

"I don't know."

"Did you get the medicine?" I change the subject and I'm glad that Future doesn't get me to talk about the drama that just happened seconds ago.

I just can't get a break, can I?

"Yeah," Future says, and we walk towards the cash register. Future pays for her medicine, and we walk back home in pure silence. I think Future figured that I want to be alone with my thoughts for a bit.

I crack my mind for memories. Anything that I missed about Tay being dodgy. But my brain is just blank. Andrew's car is parked in the driveway as we approach the house and my breath hitches in my throat when I think of seeing Tay. I take a deep breath, and we walk inside to smell of pizza.

We make our way to the kitchen and find the guys sitting on the kitchen island with a large box of pizza in the middle and cans of Coca-Colas. By the looks of it, they bought a large triple-decker.

"Girls," Nate says, and I roll my eyes at him. I stand between Nate and Tay and Future to Andrew's side. Tay wraps his arm around my waist, and I release a shaky breath.

"You okay?" Tay asks, searching my face, and I nod. I grab a slice from the box in front of me and take a bite.

"So guys, next Friday is Black Friday!" Nate says, and I take a drink from Tay's can.

"What is Black Friday?" I ask, and he chokes on his drink.

"No way, have you been living under a rock or something," Nate asks and I shrug.

"Black Friday is when everything is cheap, like half-price!" Nate informs me, and this time I choke on my pizza.

"What!" I ask, not sure if I heard him correctly.

"Did you just say half price?" I ask.

"Yep, the malls will be packed like hell," Nate says.

"So guys, Future, and I have some news?" Andrew says with a bright smile on his face.

"What?" Nate and Tay ask in unison.

"We are pregnant!" Andrew says and I look at Tay, to see if the word pregnant influences him or what, but he smiles and goes to his brother.

"Congratulations, I'm so happy for you guys," Tay says, and hugs both of them.

"Congratulations," I say and hug them, too.

Nate stands up, shoving the slice of pizza in his mouth, and we wait for him to finish chewing.

"I only have two words for you, brother," Nate tells Andrew.

"What?" Andrew asks.

"Buckle up," Nate says and Tay smacks the back of his head.

"Really?" Future and I ask in unison.

"What, I'm just warning him," Nate says, and Future grabs one box of pizza and we walk to the living room.

We all get cuddled up on the couches and watch TV. After hours of watching TV, we all go to our room. I put on my pajamas and pull my long hair into a messy bun.

Tay walks out of the bathroom drying his hair with a towel dressed in his pajama pants.

"Are you sure that you are okay, love?" Tay asks, and I sigh.

"Do you have something to tell me?" I ask.

"Something like what?" Tay asks.

"I don't know, you tell me," I say, slightly irritated at him acting dumb. I trust Tay with every fiber of my being. He somehow dragged me out of the darkness in his own way, and I will forever be grateful to him. If it wasn't for him, I would still sleep with the lights on and would still be afraid of men's touch. Even though I never told him this, he saved me from myself. I would still be dead inside, digging into my grave slowly.

"I don't know what you are talking about here," Tay says and leans against the wall and crosses his arms over his chest.

"A relationship is built on a foundation of trust and if there's no trust between us, then I don't see the point of continuing this alliance." His eyes widen at my words and within seconds he is in front of me, on his knees.

"I trust you, and I don't want this marriage to end. Also, I don't want you to think of this marriage as a contract...well, we got married because of our parents, but we got to know each other. I think we are past that stage now. I trust you. Never doubt that." Tay says, and I pull my lower lip between my teeth.

"But you don't trust me enough to tell me your problems, Tay." I say, and he wraps his arms around my waist and buries his head on my lap.

"You have been through enough; I don't want to stress you. I can deal with whatever shit life throws at me on my own," Tay says harshly.

"If you can't trust me with your problems, then I don't see this marriage working," I say and let my fingers play with the necklace around my neck. Tay snaps his head up to meet my grey silver eyes.

"Don't say that please.... Please don't go." Tay pleads.

"It's all up to you if I stay or go." I say through my pounding heart.

"I don't want to give my heart to someone new or who keeps secrets from me thinking they are protecting me when they are just doing more damage than good," I say softly, not breaking the gaze between us.

"Please promise me you will be open-minded about this?" Tay pleads.

"I will try," I say softly. Tay sighs and sits next to me.

"You are right, there's something I have been keeping from you for a while now," Tay confesses.

"Why didn't you tell me that Ria is pregnant with your baby?" I ask.

"What?" Tay asks, confused, and I frown.

"Um… isn't that what you were going to tell me?" I ask, confused this time. Why does he seem confused suddenly?

"Right Ria...wait, how did you find out about her?" Tay asks.

"I bumped into her at the pharmacy store, Future, and I went earlier to get some medicine for her flu," I tell Tay.

"I didn't tell you because I don't believe her, I don't think it's my baby to be quite honest," Tay says, and I let out a sigh of relief. I didn't realise I have been holding this all the time. At least there's a chance that the baby is not his.

"When did you find out that she is pregnant?" I ask, not sure if I want to know the answer.

"The day of our wed... wedding," Tay says the last word as a whisper.

"She told me she would tell you she is pregnant with my baby if I didn't kiss her. I only did it to get her to leave and to not tell you the truth." Tay confesses, and I gasp.

"So, you preferred to kiss her than to tell me the truth?" I ask harshly.

"Unbelievable. Here I thought you were different, but no... You are all just the same. You would do anything to get what you want; it doesn't matter who gets hurt." I spit and stand up to walk away, but Tay grabs my arm.

"I'm nothing like the bastard who raped you. Don't you dare compare him to me?" Tay says through his teeth, as his grip tightens around my wrist.

"Let go," I tell Tay, staring deep into his eyes.

"I know I should have told you, and I'm sorry for that, but I can't let you go. I'm sorry I just can't." Tay says.

"I don't know why I keep letting you lie to me." I pause and look at him.

"Am I that desperate to be loved that I let you lie to me?" I ask softly and tuck my hair behind my ear.

"Don't say that about yourself again, do you hear me. I know we are perfectly imperfect, but I wouldn't change a damn thing. Every minute we spent together was heaven like I was in another world where it's just you and me, us." Tay says and takes a step forward.

"Why can't I stay mad at you for anything?" I ask mostly to myself.

"We are each other's weaknesses." Tay says, and takes another step forward. The gap between us is now gone and our chests are touching. His gaze moves to my lips and I swallow the lump down my throat. His thumb caresses my lower lip and my breath hitches in my throat. I place my hands on his arms and stare into his brown eyes. He moves his thumb away and places his arms around my waist.

We stare at each other saying nothing. Only our ragged breaths are heard. I pull my lower lip between my teeth, my chest heaving up and down.

"I know what I did was wrong, but I didn't want to lose you," Tay says, his eyes never leaving my lips.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" I ask.

"I wanted to do a paternity test when she told me she was pregnant, but my doctor said it was too early as she could lose the baby, so I waited for her to reach whatever stage it was to have a safe paternity test." I wait for him to continue.

"I haven't gotten the results yet, but if I got them before you found out I wouldn't have told you if the report said it wasn't my baby. But if it was positive, I would have told you." Tay confesses, and silence takes over again.

"I want to kiss you," Tay confesses after a while, and it takes everything in me to stop him. If I let him kiss me, I will probably end up naked on the bed, and I don't want that. I need space to think about everything that had happened recently. So much has happened and I haven't had the chance to just sit down and think on my own.

First, I found out that Tay's mother is a murder or might be. We are not sure about it, for all we know David could be lying but I doubt it. Andrew will be devastated when he finds out or if he ever finds out. I wonder what was going through Carmen's mind when she injected Andrew's mother with poison.

Secondly, Ria might be pregnant with Tay's baby. I don't know how I feel about that yet. It's a never-ending drama in the Payne family.

I was so deep in my thoughts that I forgot what Tay said. "Can I kiss you?" Tay asks again, breaking my train of thoughts. Do I want him to kiss me?

Yes, I love how his lips tastes, but I must learn how to control my feelings, or else he will always use my weakness against me. I think he's already aware of that. I love how his hands feel on my body; how they burn and cool my skin at the same time and how my insides react whenever he touches me. I have never felt anything like that. I didn't even know the feeling existed until he made me feel them.

After battling with my inner self, I finally say, "I think you should sleep in another room for a while."