Chapter eleven
Choosing!
As always, his room was dimly lit and moon seemed to be at his favor every single time illuminating corners. He took off his cape and inner cloth until his upper body was bare. She stood behind him without a word, he ignored her presence.
"Sir..." She began as he interrupted instantly
"...Leave now, i don't need you around! Obviously!" He refused to look back at her
"I want to apologize for..."
"Did you not hear me speak?" He turned yelling at her, she was startled. Now she had seen a pinch of what he was rumoured to be, he grabbed her right wrist tightly. "Who do you think you are?" His hoarse voice frightened her, his dark eyes darkened even more in the dark, his brows tilted with despair, she couldn't tell what exactly interfered with his emotions. Staring into her weary eyes stung him even more just like earlier, she did not struggle to take off his grip. He disliked her instant submissiveness which weakened him.
He refrained as she fell abruptly to the cold floor, she groaned softly in pain. She was sore from earlier's mistreatment. He turned away from her face, he seemed disturbed in silence. He served himself a cup of ale then sat on the bed while she struggled to lift her body upright.
"Ursula? Leave and don't ever cross my path again!" He instructed
"Bu...Yes Sir Xavier, forgive me!"
She hesitated before leaving, he didn't stop her.
How could a slave girl make him feel less of himself, he didn't have to put someone's feelings earlier before she arrived and within days, his emotions clicked to hers, he thought. He drank more wine since he couldn't speak with no one, sometimes he felt like a stranger around his family. They'd pair up and he was left alone to handle the family and province's business affairs. He felt used.
In a short while when he tried to talk more to a slave girl, he was forced to choose between his mother or slave.
Ursula locked herself inside the room except the moment Tess came around to massage and rub some ointment on her wounds. Ursula laid on her stomach resting her head on a pillow while tears made its way down.
"Are you crying again?"
"Should i not?" Ursula asked
"Its fine for you to cry! You'd be relieved! And if i may ask, why are you crying? I know you have got a thousand and one reasons but may i know why?" Tess seemed concerned.
"Am i really cursed? I feel bad for everything...i think its better if i die, i can't bear all of this, its hurting." She sniffles "Why can i not be like you Tess, not bothered? I know that I'm a slave to the lord but i don't have to suffer for it, i did not choose to be a slave, did i?" She stopped, Tess sighed
"I have asked myself several questions but i don't--- have an answer to them. You are not the only one languishing in pain, i am, we all are! After what we saw madam Marie do to you, it sent a message that it could be us someday somehow." Tess said. Ursula sat up gently staring into Tess's compassionate eyes "We are better off here than out there you know. Everyone out there is suffering especially when the men of valour had tripled the tax rate on the middle and low classes, it's become difficult to survive." Tess said turning away with a long face
"How did i not know about this?" Ursula got worried, the first person she could think of was her mother
"It's difficult out there poor Ursula!"
"Can we not do something...like...isn't there..."
"...The question is what can you do to change it? Nothing!" Tess left sadly fighting back her contending tears.
"Oh mother! I wish i could see you once more, i want to tell you how bad i feel, how hurt i am. You'd always defend me once in trouble but...but i am caught within the four walls of the Salvador's, who can ever fight them?!" She muttered inside.
***********
Xavier had gotten up after sunset, he had dressed in his official cape, inner clothe and pants for the meeting in a few moment. He strode down to the dining where every family member was sitting. Donna instructed Ursula to serve the food which she did, she tried as hard as possible not to look into Xavier's direction. He had been staring at her bruised skin and wondered what must have happened again. He turned away but Marie monitored the both of them just to confirm her suspicions yet she was unsure, still. He was pissed suddenly as soon as Ursula left to get more food, he stood up to leave.
"Xavier? Why the haste?" Jim asked
"You should eat some, son!" Mariah added
"I'm not hungry!" He said to his mother then he turned to his father "Father, i shall see you at the hall. I have got to supervise before hand!" He said coldly
"Oh Xavier! I had that figured out. You don't have to worry about all these petite tasks, you are not petite." Jim reminded
"I insist! I have been insulted already, my orders have been compromised and i wouldn't want a single person left out, i won't accept it!" Xavier said
"Brilliant, son! Go ahead!"
"Yes my lord!" Xavier bowed his head then turned to Nathan immediately, Nathan's heart fidgeted "I shall see you too, brother!"
"Of course, brother!" Nathan smiled forcefully.
Xavier headed out with his soldiers right behind him.
"Why's he acting impossible towards me, mother?" Nathan asked putting up a long face
"I don't know! Xavier has always been firm when it requires his voice to be heard and what i don't understand this since when have you become interested over your relationship with your brother?" Mariah asked
"You should be there at the halls' meeting, you could learn a handful from a man like your brother, my son!" Jim stated sternly
"My lord! He's only a child, he needs time to grow up!" Mariah became defensive over Nathan
"While growing up, i did not have to rely on the right time, i took every bold step forcefully, i was not weak neither should he!" Jim wiped his mouth then walked out afterwards
"This is not a good day to ask questions about your relationship with our brother. Can you not remember that the goods had been taken? And if they've been taken then you'd never find Xavier easy! That's certain!" Marie stated outrightly "Hurting Saxton is like hurting his feelimgs that we know nothing of. He's mortally unpredictable I'd say!" She shrugged
"I think so too but not unpredictable to a mother!" Mariah claimed
"This is wearing me out! He's recognized and I'm in the dark, wailing! Do i need to beg for attention?" Nathan was pissed
"You should work on your speech my dear, next, i won't back up your folly!" Mariah warned with a bright smile
After breakfast, Marie made her way to the kitchen majestically walking with Nathan beside her. Everyone stopped working to acknowledge his presence first.
"Why are we here, Marie? You don't get enough, do you?" He shrugged while she let out a faint smile.
"Nathan, how would you know if you don't find out?!" She snapped. She turned to the workers instantly and continued "Urchin?"
"Ma...Madam!" Ursula answered unwillingly yet she had no choice, she drew closer with her face to the ground. Nathan laughed hysterically.
"Urchin? Marie, you're unbelievable! That can not be a name for a human but it could, to a certain type of specie!"
Nathan blurted
"I know! Sometimes, we really don't have to blend in. We find the perfect match for an imperfect personality." Marie explained, Nathan smirked while everyone was silent.
"I want to believe you..." He did not stop staring at Ursula "...The glimpse of her misery tickles my hatred for her."
"You hate her, don't you?" Marie asked
"I despise her!" He stopped with a frown, staring at her with a daunting look.
"I wish someone could understand that too!" She turned to Ursula finally after their brief insulting conversation "You'd go to the hall moments later, i want you to give something to my brother, would you?" Marie asked politely, she smiled.
"Of...Of course Madam!" Ursula said with a skeptical feeling. If servants weren't allowed to go out of the mansion on no account except if the lord or the lady permits it, why would Marie send her then? To a place where she is forbidden? Ursula gave a thought.
"But Madam?! Forgive me but neither the lord or the lady is present, how do i ask for permission?" Ursula asked correctly which Tess and a few servants nodded in agreement but in the hidden
"Neither are you a daughter to permit yourself. That's exactly why I'm here, to permit you! You know the hall right?" Marie asked
"Yes Madam!"
"Even if you know not, i'll hand you a guard! I am nice, yes?" Marie smirked "See me when I'm done talking to my brother....in my chamber!"
"Yes Madam!" Ursula replied obediently, she's been defeated again.
Marie and Nathan went away.
Donna turned to Ursula suddenly
"I really don't understand why you have to be unlucky, every single day of your life!" Donna cringed with a smirk
"She's luckier you know, they wouldn't pressure her if they weren't against something priceless about her, that's exactly what you don't have. That innocent captivating aura!" Tess defended boldly. Everyone including Ursula was shocked over Tess's response.
"I'd deal with you, you'll see!" Donna was guilty, she briskly walked out of the kitchen. Ursula scoffed
"Im not excited over what you did, you could implicate me or yourself...don't cause more trouble!" Ursula scolded calmly
"I did it for me not you! If you wouldn't fight against Donna then..." Tessa sighed "I had to! I really don't know why she's against a fellow servant, we should be unified not scattered. Sometimes, she feels like the lady herself which is a dream that would never come through!" Tessa explained, Ursula smiled. "Why's the madam nice for no reason? She bruised your back earlier and now wants you to give something to the man of valour? That's danger! Run!"
"How could i ever run? I don't feel good about this!" Ursula then looked around to see if someone was listening but no one was. "He drove me away last night!" She whispered into Tess's ear. Tess's eyes widened in surprise
"Why did he?"
"I have no idea! He was angry...he yelled and i was shaken, undeniably! Now she's sending me out...to him again! What if he kills me totally?" Ursula explained
"That's one thing i don't think he'd do, hurt you!" Tess blurted
"Why would he not?"
"You are...lucky somehow! I don't know how but you are!"
"That's not funny!" Ursula tucked Tess a little on her side as they both laughed "I still don't feel good about this anyways!"
They continued kneading the dough.
Marie and Nathan sat adjacent in her chamber after she had dismissed the servants around.
"Why are you sending her out of the mansion, you know that you'd ignite a fire you can't quench easily!" Nathan reminded, he took a sip from the wine served before them. He was sitting on a chair leaning backwards while she laid on her side staring at his direction. She smirked.
"That's exactly what i want! You wouldn't understand why but soon you would!" She took a sip again
"Whatever that is, it says nothing better than harm!" He said
"Leave that urchin to me, I want my suspicions to be correct and i lack ways to find out so i have to try it even the deadliest ways to confirm my assumptions. Besides, i've been longing to ask you this question and I'm sure you know what its all about!" She said, he interrupted.
"Do not try to ask me about the goods that were taken, i have no business with that!" He was defensive
"I didn't ask if you were because i know you do! You don't want to play a fowl game around Xavier, do you! Its better you go to him and explain your flaws or else you'd have to contend with the man of valour. Scary!!!!" She teased
"Its not funny Marie, you're accusing me wrongly! Do you know that?" He asked with a slight frown
"I don't! I'm only saying....Who knows!!" She laughed
"You're not on my side at all, you talk just like them!"
"Oh little brother! I'm only teaching you how to act smarter, you can't just hurt Saxton and go unpunished.." She added
"I'm off to the hall!" He left angrily while she smiled even more.
"Poor boy! How could you act so stupidly now?! Guards!!!" She called.