Chp.2 I don't want to live here

The same day at night after having dinner we were just sitting around the table eating Icecream when Eleanor stood up keeping her hands flat on the table grabbing everyone's attention.

"I have something to say," she said and everyone focused on her except me I was busy eating my ice cream before it melts.

"I'm sorry Dad," she said turning to Dad which caught my attention, and I looked up at her.

"I love staying with you and Ruth but Eugene is not my thing, I love city nights and days, I'm going to start college soon and I....I...want to stay with mom." She said and my eyes went wide.

I always knew Eleanor was willful and stuff but I didn't know she could say it out loud I mean I wanted to be with dad so badly but never had the courage to tell my mom.

"Are you sure?" My dad asked a little sad hearing that and she nodded frantically, "Yes Dad, I want to be here for my college years I don't fit in that place....and more than that I hate rainy weather, it rains almost every day there."

She sulked a little with pitiful eyes and begged Dad.

My dad looked at Mom and Sam and my Mom nodded, "I think it will be okay, right Sam?" She asked and Sam smiled brightly.

"Of course, I'm always ready to welcome a new family member."

Sam said and Eleanor's face became bright as she hugged mom and Dad thanking them.

"Welcome to the family," Alan said with a bright smile and Marcus too grinned, "Welcome back pig."

He said at which they both started bickering.

'I wished I had the courage to say that...'  I thought and looked down at my bowl poking the ice cream not eating it.

"En," My mom called and I looked up at her, "Do you have something to say?" She asked and I shook my head and continued to look down at my ice cream.

After dinner, we all went to sleep but I could not sleep, I was thinking about a lot of things right now but the thought that never left my mind was Eugene, I knew about that place. It most had forest around it, my most favourite thing in the world.

Not to mention the weather what I would do to be in a place with cold and windy weather where it rains. I loved rain a lot too.

But I could only think about that place since I had no way of going there.

Thinking that my mood suddenly became bad and I sat up looking at the side towards Eleanor who slept like a sleeping beauty not even moving an inch.

'Compared to her I sleep like a monkey with my legs and arms on each corner of the bed.'

*****

After staying for 3 days my Dad went back to Eugene with Ruth while Eleanor stayed. She had actually brought all her necessary belongings while coming here. She had planned to stay from the beginning.

Such as the days passed by and a month went away. I had completed my sophomore year and it was finally break.

In the break, we all were going to move to Texas which was now only two weeks later.

As the days passed by my heart became heavy, I felt like crying every day and I did at night, I didn't know the exact reason why but I just did.

I really didn't want to go there. That's one thing for sure.

In the evening when everyone was eating dinner Sam said something and I hummed not even knowing what he said, after that, I just hummed to more of the things they said until Alan placed his hand on mine and I looked up to find all of them looking at me with a weird....saddened expression.

"En, what is going on with you....you are behaving so lost a few days, did something happen my dear?" My mom asked sweetly and I shook my head as usual.

"Why don't you just say whatever you want and get over with it, it's not like saying something will bring an end to the world," Eleanor said with a huff and I kept my fork down.

'Should I say it? Should I say I want to go live with dad?'

I thought and then mustered up the courage looking up at their faces, "I...I..." I closed my eyes shut and almost screamed, "I want to go live with dad!!" I said and when no voice came I opened my eyes to find my mom looking so hurt on the brink of crying.

'That's why I didn't want to say it.'

"W-why?" She asked confused, "Are you not happy here? Did something happen?.....did we...did we unknowingly neglect you?" She asked in a low voice and I shook my head.

"I...don't feel like I belong here mom, and I know I won't belong in Texas too, this city is too big and crowded for me.....I feel suffocated here!!!" I said as I felt tears started forming  "I feel suffocating when I'm in crowded places with people staring at me and gawking at me, I hate being at such a big school where everyone judges you for how you behave, and look, and even sit for god damn sake...."

"I want to go away far at a peaceful place, with fewer people, where no one knows who I am, where I can just be me."

My voice started trembling as I continued to speak, "I know all of you love me, and I do too, but....but I just want to be somewhere else mom, I want to be with dad."

I finally cried as tears started rolling down my face and Alan and Marcus hugged me.

"I know what you are saying En," Eleanor said squeezing my hand, "Sometimes you just know that you don't belong here but somewhere else, and believe me it's good to listen to your heart."

I heard her saying and couldn't believe the words were coming out of Eleanor's mouth.

I looked at mom, who still had a saddened expression as she cried but still got up and hugged me, "I will call Hayden." She said as Sam joined for a family hug.