29 Affraid

I immediately hugged Bambang, as soon as the man returned from the hospital. He was taken home by his family as soon as the doctor allowed. Because it would be easier to take care of the man if he was at home.

"Good thing you didn't die!" I wined.

"Calm down, Mel! I have nine lives!" Bambang is joking.

For some reason, his joke didn't sound funny to me at all.

"Not very funny, you know!" I'm nagging.

Bambang and I exchanged meaningful deep glances.

"It's not all your fault, so don't be ridiculous by blaming yourself!" said Bambang in the end.

Gotcha!

He always knows what I'm thinking about.

"Don't comfort me! The person who is clearly at the root of the problem is me!"

"No, Melody! We decide to send them to prison. So, if there are consequences like this, then it's our responsibility!"

"Is it normal for you to be bald?! You almost died, you know!"

"Yeah, I'm not fated to die like that, Mel!"

Melody stared at Bambang silently. That stubborn one, arguing with him would only be a waste of time.

"I want to ask my mother for permission to practice Pencak silat!"

"Good, being able to protect yourself is something good!"

"If I can, can I join Roulette, right?"

Bambang's eyes rounded perfectly, maybe, he think that his ears had lost their function to listen properly.

"What did you just say, Mel?" asked Bambang skeptically.

"If I can protect myself, and am good at fighting, I can join in Roulette, right?" I asked again.

Bambang immediately shook his head firmly. I could tell from the look in his eyes that he was preparing to rant.

"Don't be making this up! We're getting involved with Blackstone, Mel! So you want to join? Where's your mind? Tell him to think of something more useful, try it!"

Well, right! I told you, he was about to nag.

"Yes, so we can fight together!"

"Nothing! You're ridiculous, I swear! If you are desperate, imagine the loss you got, Mel!"

"Yes, if it's a loss, just live it!"

Again, Bambang shook his head quickly.

"If something happened to you, don't you feel sorry for your mother?!"

I nodded slowly. Oh, if he has mentioned my mother's name, how can I refute his words?

"I'll ask her permission first. I'll try to convince her."

Bambang immediately scowled in annoyance.

"I think you failed to catch the point that I mean!" grumbled the man.

***

I looked at Paijo and the girl next to him in turn. Paijo had just asked me, Naya, and Yogo to be models for the Javanese wedding dress model for the competition that the girl next to him was participating in. He even treats the three of us in the cafeteria now.

Paijo said, the girl's name is Via, she is innocent, introverted, so she doesn't have many friends. And for a competition like this, she must use a model that is worth selling. So, she asked Paijo to persuade us.

"Where's the place?" Yogo asked after getting a wink from Paijo.

"That's at Harapan High School," said Via.

Harapan High School?

I smiled sadly. Yeah, I will die if I go back to that place.

"Hopefully Naya and Yogo are willing to help, but sorry, I can't help you, Via. If you want, I can help you to find another model," I said regretfully.

Via looks so sad. In contrast to Yogo and Paijo who immediately looked at me in horror.

Oh shit. I forgot to tell them about my relationship with Harapan High School. What would they think of me if they found out about my past?

"Why? Don't tell me you're shy, insecure, and so on! Stale!" quipped Paijo.

I just smiled at his words. For some reason, I never got used to the way he never relaxed when he talked to me.

"I have a bad relationship with that high school, which I can't tell you about! Once again, Via, I'm sorry."

Hearing my words, Paijo immediately grabbed my arm and made me face him. The death stare he gave me made me shudder in horror.

"What? Why? Your ex is there?!" said Paijo.

Oh no! Did my previous sentence offend him, or upset him?

Why is he always so rude?

The bell signaling the end of recess has rung. All the guys in the cafeteria immediately left their food.

"You go back to class first, after school I'll be waiting in the parking lot!" said Paijo before Via left the cafeteria.

Yogo, and Naya also chose to leave the canteen as well and headed to their respective classes.

"Can you let me go, can't you? I want to go back to class!" I called softly.

Paijo immediately let go of me, then took a deep breath.

"Mel, this is very important for Via. Can't you just help this time?" Paijo looked me straight in the eye.

"I want to help, but I really can't if I have to set foot in Harapan High School again!"

"Yes, what's the problem? Tell me, so I can help you find a solution."

What? What should I do? Explaining to him how much I suffered there for always being the target of bullying? About how everyone there is looking down on me?

Or, he wanted to hear how cruelly they tortured me back then?

I was so happy that I didn't see them again. Then just for the sake of a girl, I have to be willing to put my foot back there?

Isn't this very unfair?

Paijo took a deep breath, he looked back at me, but this time with a very gentle gaze.

"Why do you look so sad, Mel? What's with that high school? Is your ex there?" Paijo gently held my hand.

My Ex?

I want to laugh so hard. If it's just an ex, it certainly won't make me like this.

"You want to know the reason?"

Paijo nodded.

"They make me want to end my life every time!" After saying that, I left the cafeteria, and left Paijo who was still sitting there stunned.

I smiled sadly, this is the first time I'm reminded of my past after being adopted by my mother.

***

I must be crazy! I shouldn't have had such a soft heart.

Via kept on persuading me, she even cried because she couldn't find a suitable model, and the girl wanted me to be her model.

Naya, and also Yogo has to do a midterm re-exam because they were absent during the first exam, so they have to replace it tomorrow. Because of that, they couldn't help Via.

Via is still measuring my body to adjust the clothes she made to fit me. She painstakingly measured every detail, maybe due to the race, so she was very careful.

"How can you be slim like this, what's the secret?" Via asked with her Javanese accent.

Via is Javanese, although I'm not sure which Javanese she is from.

"I'm not slim, but thin! I often fast first!"

Yeah, how can I not be thin, if in the past I couldn't eat three times a day, had to work hard, and was always tormented at school?

Weirdly, I'm not skinny.

"Well, it's over, tomorrow you must be here again to try on the clothes. Later, a friend of mine from makeup extracurricular wants to meet you and Paijo to determine the right make-up for you," Via said with a big smile.

"I have to use makeup? No, no!" I shouted.

"Why?"

"I'm embarrassed to have to do makeup, Vi!"

"Why is that? you are beautiful!"

It's not a matter of beauty or not. Just being there had tested my mentality. Especially if I had to dress up, the bullies would immediately crowd and laugh at me.

"But, if you don't makeup, I won't be able to win, you know! You have to make up for the bride and groom."

Oh shit! It's true what Via said.

"Oops, I want to go to the toilet. I stay first!" After saying that, Via immediately walked hurriedly out of the fashion room.

I also pulled my bag, and carried it towards the exit, because Via said that she had finished measuring, right?

"Mel," Paijo called, which automatically made me stop.

I looked back and found the man was already behind me.

"What?" I asked confused.

"I don't know, who you mean by them. But, I promise, while there, I will always be by your side, I will protect you."

I smiled widely at Paijo's words. Seriously, what happened to that guy? Why is he suddenly acting like this?

"You don't have to do that!"

"Don't worry, as long as I'm around, no one will dare to hurt you!" Paijo reached out and gently stroked the top of my head.

Wait, did I do something wrong again? Why did that man do this to me?

"What happened to you, Jo?" I asked bluntly.

"Why do you ask that?"

"Yeah, that's just weird, you're the one who's usually rude, curt, cynical, and now you're acting kind to me!"

Paijo scowled and glared at me.

"Is it really difficult to fix it?! Is that what you want me to be teasing about? It's all my fault in your eyes! I'm jealous, you don't like it, I'm nice, you suspect! It's really weird, you know?!"

I was stunned to hear Paijo's words. I just realized it. That's right, I get annoyed whenever he's being mean, but I get suspicious every time he's nice. What do I want, anyway?