Chapter 46
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"It is imperative for people to have a further capacity to feel for those who are helpless and understand how a person feels not only when he is helpless but also when he is becoming helpless and after he has been helpless. How can I get you to feel the feelings the incredible and horrifying feelings which which I live is during my interminably darkness? How can I make you understand that I do not yawn for your sympathy but your help only. You could not help me when I needed help the most when I was becoming helpless and at the verge of divorce now I've been helpless you began to help me by giving me a reason to live."
"you mean revenge gave you a reason to live with the help of this to Doctor Who treated me I was unable to pick up the pieces of my life and put them together again, in what I hope is an even better hope than heretofore, I have learned a lot about the problems of helpless and weak people. I believe it to be an encouragement to always fight back."
"You are not fighting backwards and you know that," Clinton said. "You can not fight back when the fight is already over. You are putting a start to an ended fight you are seeking revenge and why would I seek revenge Whitney asked him because revenge is sick end up the bearing against you. Can't you see that this revenge of a thing is hurting you a lot and many other innocent souls. Mr Smith is an example, it is hurting you and I and you know that. A friend of mine, who is actually a priest said to me in the midst of my deepest despair, he told me to put every experience in life to good use no matter how useless and painful it seems. You can not see it now at present and you will not be able to see it for a long time but someday you will. I have not forgotten his words. This word is for those who must enjoy helplessness and for those who care about them. "here we go," Whitney said to him a moment later.
"can you not see that there is no greater suffering other than the thought of revenge?" Clinton asked, with such obvious sincerity that Whitney's face had to turn pale.
"I think there can be no greater suffering than the state of mind I find myself in as presents I am saying enough to know that I no longer saying somewhere somehow I'm I am being dragged over a line, a line which never even existed for me until now. I am the one, the only one who has been deeply hurt and I see no reason why I should give up on my vengeful plan. If you had shown the same self righteousness to your friend, when he was still planning to wreck my life, then for sure, all these would not be happening. I had once become inexplicably a wandering and completely bewildered stranger in the realm of my emotions. I can no longer find my way back to my familiar and known world, where I knew I had peace in. Everyone is on the other side of an impenetrable glass. We can see each other but we cannot reach each other and my hands are stretched out, yet in vain. I am alone and abandoned..."
"You are not alone, neither are you abandoned," Clinton interrupted. He looked a bit shaken.
"Allow me to finish what I have to say please. I let you finish all that you wanted to say, so please do not interrupt me. I beg of you," Whitney said irritably.
Clinton did not saying a word, all he did was to nod at her.
"I am alone and abandoned in the dark and I am also terrified beyond any understanding and this state of not understanding, leaves me in a state of paralysing panic. O can not move in any direction," she said and paused. After a little while, she continued. "I am becoming more and more rigid physically. I am afraid of the fact that if I should turn my head, even a little, my will land on horrible terrors and they will over whelm me. I think I am being followed, inexorably followed.. I am running through endless twisting, pitch dark tunnels and I can not find my way out. There is no light at the end of any tunnel that I take. I cannot turn back, I am being backed into darkness and at the last corner of it all. I long to escape from these feelings that I can neither understand not bear it. Is there a place for me, where I can go to? Where can I turn to, save deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of my poor sick mind? My mind is dying and I want to die with it. The pain is just too much for me to bear. Even if my body hurts, my terrors are crushing me and smothering me. I can not breath... I can not communicate my fears to anyone, with the hope of getting them to understand my plight. I am locking myself up in a prison of my own making, a horrible, painful prison, to which I have buried the keys deep down."
""Whitney, there is still time," Clinton voiced out to her.
She acted as though she did not hear him say anything, as though he did not exist, she ignored him and continued with what she was saying. "There is only one hope of escape and that is death. The only way was not even as easy as it seemed. I plan each day and night, on how to take care of myself and my life. I still find it very hard to believe that I, who loved life so much and was filled with love, now plans to kill myself. I now find myself longing for death. I am only obsessed with one desire and that is to plot out a mind that can harbor and play with such thoughts. What will become of me now that no one is ready to support me? How can a human be this lonely, truth be told, I do not really want to die but seeing how destructible my life has become, I do not see any reason to live again."
"For how long have you been in this state of mind and what really triggered it?" Clinton asked her another question, keenly. He was still trying his best to understand her, even though she was making no attempts to understand him.
"For how long have I been in this state of mind and what had triggered it?" She repeated his question with a sadonic laugh.
"I have been in this state of mind since I knew your God damn friend, Daniel, he was the one that triggered it," Whitney answered as though she was in an interview, which was damn imperating. "All I want is to have my revenge on him, all I want is to watch him lose everything, that is my only goal. It is only when I see Daniel suffering, that I have peace within myself," she said with mixed expressions on her face.
"I do think that I can continue supporting you with your plans for revenge, Whitney. In as much as I want to help you, I can not bring myself to hurt the one who truly loved me," he paused expecting Whitney to say a word but she said nothing. She only glared with her eyes filled with hidden tears.
"Whitney!" He called out but she turned around and ran up the staircase, to her room. She ran too fast, that if she mistakenly missed a foot of the staircase, she would collide with the floor.
"Whitney," Clinton called as he made an attempt to go after her. "Whitney," he called again.
She turned to him, her face was red. "Do not come after me," she said coaxingly to Clinton.
Clinton stopped right there on his track. He went back to the sitting room and sat down on the chair with his hands covering his face. He did not expect that she would react like that. He had not brought up this conversation because of Daniel. Sincerely speaking, even though he loved Whitney, his one goal, since he helped Whitney was to unite Whitney and Daniel together.
This was the same goal he had when Daniel was still friends with him. He was ready to sacrifice his love for Whitney, if that was going to unite Daniel and her. He was ready to sacrifice his love for Whitney, if that was going to unite Daniel and her. He had expected Whitney to mellow down and make sense of his words but no, she did not.
But Clinton would not dare blame her for it, because he was just beating around the bush. He had not clarified his words. He had made it seem like he valued his relationship with Daniel, to the extent that he was ready to break his promises to Whitney.
Clinton was lost in thought, to the extent that he did realize that Whitney was walking to the door, away from him. Whitney had changed back to the cloth that Clinton had found her in on the day of her accident. The only things she had in her hand was her phone and some important documents, which she could not do away with. Whwn she turned the handle of the door, its noise brought back Clinton back from his thoughts, to reality.
He looked at the place where Whitney was supposed to be standing at but he did not see a glimpse of her there. He dashed his eyes across the room and at once, his eyes landed on the door. There stood Whitney, there was horror in his eyes, when he saw her there. His heart beat hammered against his throat.
"Whitney," he called out to her, as his legs slowly moved to her direction.
"Thank you so much for every little thing you have done for me, I appreciate your kind gesture to me. With that said, she turned to his direction.
Her face was growing steadily darker, she looked as though she was being filled with boiling water.
Clinton finally got to where she was. He stared at her face, with a very silly expression on his face. The look he had on his face depicted that of a person who had just been stunned by a sudden blow and could not quite believe what was happening around him at the moment.
He let out a small, choking noise. The room had unexplainably, remained so entirely and extremely silent so far, it was so quiet. Clinton had a confusing look on his face, deep down he was battling within himself on what to say. He gave an unnecessary nod and then he moved closer to Whitney, who was already at the entrance of the door.
"What do you think you are doing?" He asked in a soft tone.
"Hmm. What does it seem to you that I am doing?" She replied him back with a question.
Clinton stared deep into her own eyes. "I do not know what you are doing, neither do I even care to know, all I want you to do right now, is to get back into the house and change back into a much better outfit," he voiced out.
Obviously, the cloth she was putting on was a bit messed up. Actually, using the sentence a bit was an under statement.
"Are you really trying to play dumb with me?" She asked him, looking very annoyed at this point.
"Break it down to me, cause I have no idea whatsoever, of what you are trying to do this evening."
"Are you trying to say that you can not tell that I am leaving your house?" She asked, giving him an, you are so unbelievable, kind of look.
"Wait a second, are you planning on leaving me?" He asked, recovering from the surprise that he felt when he heard her say that she was leaving. "Do you really intend to live me alone in this big house,?"
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Whitney's POV
After hearing all that Clinton had said to me, I realized right that moment that he was not someone to be easily trusted. There was no point staying in his house anymore, because from the look of things, he could easily hand me over to my enemies, if they requested.
There was no particular place I hand in mind to go to but with the wealth I had gathered so far from the Smith's company, I could find a good place to stay.
I left from their and went into my room. I removed the cloth I was putting on and wore the dress I had worn on the night of my accident, the night that Clinton had given me a little hope. I could not take anything that belonged to him, along, so I left my phone, clothes, shoes and other things that he had given to me behind. I was better if this way. I picked up some precious documents, which were very important to me and had a vital role to play, in destroying Daniel's life. I stepped out of my look,turned back and gave it one last look, then I smiled sadly and walked away.
Clinton's POV
I was so deep in my thoughts. A cracking sound made me jolt away from my thinking. I looked around and my eyes met with that of Whitney's. She was standing at the main entrance and worst of all, in a ridiculous dress. The gown she wore was indeed very familiar, yes I remember. This was the same gown she was putting on the day I had accidentally hit her with my car but why was she wearing such a wrecked cloth? Why was she standing at the main entrance? What documents were in her hand? Was she planning on leaving the house? If yes, then where did she plan to go to?
I shoved all these questions away from my mind and strode to her. There was no need of harboring all these questions in my mind, when the person that is supposed to give the answers is standing right in front of me.
"What do you think you are doing?" I asked
"What does it seem like I'm doing?" She asked me back.
"I do not know what you are doing, neither do I even care to know, all I want you to do right now, is to get back into the house and change back into a much better outfit."
"Are you really trying to play dumb with me?" She asked me, with an annoyed expression on her face.
"Break it down to me, cause I have no idea whatsoever, of what you are trying to do this evening."
"Are you trying to say that you can not tell that I am leaving your house?" She asked, with an angry expression.
"Wait a second, are you planning on leaving me?"
"Are you really intending on leaving me in this big house all alone?"