Chapter 4

What was happening to her?

When she walked into the dining room, her mom noticed her pale expression, and asked, “Are you okay, child?” “You haven’t really eaten anything much. I made your favorite chicken casserole.

“No, nothing, I am fine, Mom”, Stacy replied.

As an afterthought, Stacy asked, “Did you and dad discuss the accident on the way back to Singapore?”

Her mom replied, “Oh yes, more than anything, we were surprised that we survived it! Our friends were in a state of shock that you survived without a scratch on you! Well, it is one of those incidences that would forever have me reeling with fear each time I think about it,” finished her Mom with a silent sigh.

After dinner, Stacy helped with the dishes, wished her Mom goodnight, and went back to her room.

She lay down on the bed and closed her eyes.

As she was drifting off to sleep, she was suddenly woken up by voices in a car. There were a few people talking all at once.

Again it came back to her in a whirl - the same images.

The car kept spinning and a lady was screaming. There were other sounds too. Someone was groaning. It was a man.

Somebody was running towards the car, his face a blur. He carried a child and placed it onto another set of hands. Red blood stains were splashed everywhere. She heard people crying.

Stacy heard voice after voice like there were so many people talking all at the same time.

Then she saw herself and her mother. There were so many people surrounding them while her mother slept. “Wake up Mom, wake up,” she was crying out to her. Her voice was barely a whisper.

She could not pronounce the words properly though! She was sure she was saying it in her mind, but her tiny outstretched hands were touching her mother’s face. Her mother seemed to be in a deep sleep. “Mom, are you okay?” she heard herself ask. However, there was no answer.

Besieged with the same flashbacks, Stacy began to have restless nights, waking up in cold sweats and unsuccessfully trying to block out the images from coming back to her.

They became a frequent occurrence as days passed.

She decided that she would consult a professional who could help alleviate the recurring flashbacks, and on some days, the blackouts, due to the immense fatigue that drowned her after each flashback.

She was uncertain at first about who she should consult. For one, she was not up to seeing a shrink about her condition.

Stacy woke up earlier than usual the next morning.

While coming back from her morning jog, she noticed her neighbor, Mr. Wong, reversing his car out of his driveway to go to work.

He had a red convertible which Stacy really admired.

She stopped to watch him leave, waved goodbye, and saw his wife standing at the doorway of their house. She was sending him off to work like any other day.

“Good Morning Mrs. Wong,” Stacy shouted out in greeting to her.

Returning the greeting, Mrs. Wong walked out to the lawn. She was smiling broadly and she said, “You went for your jog quite early I see.”

Stacy nodded, “Yes, Mrs. Wong. I had woken up earlier than usual today. Well, it is the early bird that catches the worm.”

Mrs. Wong smiled at that statement. “ Why, you don’t look well. In fact, you look tired and pale. Is everything okay with you, Stacy?”

Stacy looked down at her shoes for a moment, then looking up, she said “I didn’t have much sleep last night. I had a restless night actually.”

She didn’t know why but she felt like crying when she heard the concern in Mrs. Wong’s voice.

Mrs. Wong noticed that Stacy was trying to hold back her tears.

She walked nearer to Stacy, “Would you like to join me for a cup of coffee? We could have a chat. I am sure whatever it is that is troubling you, I can help you with.”

Stacy stifled a sob just then, accepting the kind invitation. “Yes, I would like that very much,” she replied gratefully.

Mr. and Mrs. Wong had been their neighbors since Stacy and her family moved into the neighborhood about twenty-three years ago. They were friendly, and always courteous and they had a good neighborly relationship with each other. Mr. Wong was a pharmacist, while Mrs. Wong was a retired nurse.

Most of the time, Mrs. Wong was busy indulging in her favorite past-time - gardening. Stacy had always declared that Mrs. Wong’s garden, which was so decoratively designed with the most beautiful roses and bougainvillea plants, was the most impressive garden in the neighborhood.

In fact, Mrs.Wong was famed for her green thumb, and her roses were recently awarded the first prize for the most incredibly gorgeous-looking roses at the annual flower show held in their small town.

Stacy lingered a little longer in the garden, admiring the roses, and told Mrs. Wong what she thought of her garden. It did reflect the artistic talent she was gifted with.

After a few more moments of lingering in the garden, both the ladies entered the house.

Stacy removed her shoes before going in, as it was customary to do so when invited into an Asian home.

As she entered the house, she contemplated whether to tell Mrs, Wong about her flashbacks.

Mrs. Wong trained in the medical fraternity, and may be able to help, a little voice reminded her.

The interior of the house was as beautifully decorated as the garden. Stacy was ushered into the kitchen to have their coffee. It overlooked a luscious garden in the backyard too. “How lovely!” Stacy thought.

Stacy sat down at the kitchen table and watched Mrs. Wong stir the coffee in the pot.

Stacy thought it best to inform her Mom of her whereabouts since she did not get a chance to see her before leaving the house that morning.

Her Mom was in the kitchen when she received Stacy’s call. “Okay sweetheart, take your time,” her Mom replied, after listening to what Stacy had to say. She loved her child, who in recent days looked perturbed and fatigued. She hoped that it was nothing serious.

As they sat sipping their coffee, Mrs. Wong told Stacy about her fascination for flowers, and how it turned into a passion that inspired her to create beautiful flowered landscapes in her garden.

Stacy thought it a wonderful talent to have and told Mrs. Wong as much.

Mrs. Wong broached the subject of what bothered Stacy. “Tell me what is it that is worrying you, child. I will try my best to help. Do you have anyone special in your life? I have never seen you with anyone. By chance, is there a troubled relationship you are going through right now?”

Stacy shook her head sadly, saying “No, it is nothing like that, Mrs. Wong.” Stacy then began to elaborate further.

“I have been experiencing some sort of flashbacks of incidences that had occurred in my past. Somewhat of Deja-vu moments that are haunting me. They come to me without notice, especially, painful memories, after which, I get monstrous headaches. I have even had blackouts due to the intensity of the flashbacks, and unfortunately, it is now recurring more frequently, It keeps me awake on most nights.

It starts with me hearing voices and screaming all at the same time, then I see a red car spinning, turning turtle, and crashing into another car, before coming to a stop at a junction.”

“I must tell you beforehand, that my family and I were in a horrible accident when I was two months old. The circumstances in which it happened are similar to my flashbacks. We were traveling to Singapore with two other friends in a red car when Dad lost control, and we crashed into a speeding oncoming vehicle. Mom said that it was a miracle we survived that crash!

Only yesterday Mom related the whole incident to me. After that, I felt a little squeamish, and fearful, and broke into a cold sweat. It was so strange that while Mom was relating the incident, I could envision the car we were traveling in. I told her that the color was red and she agreed that it was.”

Mrs.Wong listened attentively. Once Stacy had stopped talking, she said, “Even now as you relay this to me, I can see the look of fear reflected in your eyes. I can imagine how you are affected.”

Stacy kept quiet for a few minutes.

Mrs.Wong said that it could be the result of the trauma that Stacy had experienced as a child.

She explained that, as a professionally trained nurse, she had come across a couple of similar cases, and the patients were referred to psychiatrists. It helped to talk to a medically trained professional about these things, she informed me.

Mrs. Wong also said that there were people who believed that they were reborn, whose previous life was somehow related to their present, hence experiencing deja vu moments of certain events, and sometimes they are inundated with flashbacks in the form of recurring dreams.

Stacy felt herself go cold when she heard that. She didn't want to be one of those whose previous life is related to the present. She felt weird to think that she was reborn into a new life.

She admitted, “The flashbacks are really frightening, gripping, even. However, these flashbacks relate to an incident that happened when I was two months old, and I can’t understand why it is coming back to me now after all these years. It’s a nightmare each time I recollect the incident.”

Mrs. Wong was thoughtful for a moment. Standing up, she decided that she would fry some bacon and eggs for Stacy and herself. She suddenly realized that Stacy would be hungry after her jog, and she herself felt hunger pangs. A good breakfast would probably get them to think more clearly.

Stacy welcomed the idea of bacon and eggs. She was admittedly hungry after her jog. She looked around the kitchen, it was spotless.

The walls were tiled, and the marbled floors shone. Mrs. Wong kept her kitchen spick and span. The windows were wide open, and the morning breeze blew the lacy curtains hanging on it, this way and that. The curtains were bright yellow with little printed sunflowers and looked gorgeous as the rays of sunlight fell upon them.

She was suddenly brought out of her sunny reverie by the delicious smell of bacon and eggs.

“I am really happy to have you accompany me for breakfast this morning, Stacy,” said a delighted-looking Mrs. Wong. “Mr. Wong would normally have his favorite noodle soup every day at the restaurant near his place of work, so it is nice to eat with you for a change.”

The two ladies relished the delicious meal together in silence, clearly enjoying every morsel of the bacon and eggs.

It was a good thing that Stacy decided to go for her jog earlier than usual that morning. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have had the opportunity to share her fears with Mrs. Wong, who just then seemed to be the right person to help. Stacy felt a little of her trauma dissipate after speaking to her, she realized.