37 Nightmarish Calvary

[ Chapter 37 ]

The rain that covered Imperial subdued as its heaviness turned into sprinkles. The night went to midnight. Two days went by in the blink of an eye as the sun rays broke through the sky, finding its way to rise and bathed the world with its light as the cold slowly faded into warmth.

There's a fragrance of crestfallen flowers in the air and petrichor, the earthy scent produced by the post rainfall on dry soil was wafting off inside the room, providing them a certain amount of serenity.

Darren looked at his mother as she sat on one side of the bed, staring at her unconscious daughter through her saddened eyes. He's now deeply concerned about his mother's health as she looked dispirited and her milky skin was even paler than yesterday.

Both him and his father have a new problem to worry about as his mother's condition began to look worrisome with each the passing day. It's after much persuasion on the second night, his mother finally agreed to sleep in another private ward hospital had provided.

Darren sighed and watched the sleeping figure of his vegetative sister. The doctor explained that physically she wasn't in a critical condition as the miscarriage surgery they performed on her had finished without any hindrance.

His heart ached as he looked at his sister, she had always been a cheerful and optimistic girl. But now she looked weak and frail, like if he blinks his eyes, he will lose her at any moment.

Evidently, the problem wasn't about her physical condition, the doctor explained that her psychological state contributed to her prolonged vegetative state. The reason why she collapsed was because the accumulative sorrow she had endured finally overloaded her physical stress.

Cassandra seemed to lose her will to live, it's like she chose to sleep forever as she's afraid to face her nightmare of reality. Honestly, he really wanted to knock the mind out of her to wake her up from her dream.

As far as he remembered, he didn't have such a fragile and pigeon-hearted sister. He perfectly knew her suffering but he hoped that she could handle it better. If not for herself, then do it for her family, her mother.

Cassandra seemed to forget that there's a family she has to care about, a family that loved her dearly. He's saddened as he looked at how devastated his mother was, she kept holding her daughter's hand in the hope of waiting for her to wake up.

Her family was one thing but her daughter was another. The most unforgivable fact was when Cassandra seemed to forget that she had a daughter. A daughter who's equally suffered and needed her mother's presence by her side.

Darren sighed and tilted his head, as he caught a sight of feminine silhouette opening the door. "Mom, how's she?"

Catherine Qin, his younger sister's voice sounded as she entered the private ward. Just like his mother and youngest sister, Catherine was a tall woman with sparkling hazel eyes. She had the lithe body of youth and shoulder-length platinum blond hair.

Although Catherine seemed to be badly affected by all that's happening and was dressed in a white simple attire. She still had the appearance of a dove and gave off the charm of an exquisite flower everyone wanted to cherish and protect.

He noted that just like the rest of them, Catherine had a faint panda hue around her eyes as she seemed to have lost her weight as well and lacked sleep. She's equally devastated, as he knew how close they're as sisters.

His mother sighed and turned to look at her approaching daughter through her swollen eyes. She smiled faintly as she tried to assure Catherine, albeit she failed miserably.

His mother just shook her head. The anesthesia had already worn off and Cassandra should've been awakened, but she hasn't yet opened her eyes.

In no time looking at both her mother and sister's sorrowful shape with concern and anxiety, Catherine bit down her lip and fought back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes.

Catherine sighed and walked over to the other side of the bed, placing what seemed to be a trail of home-cooked food on the nearest table and then sitting down, tears welled up in her hazel eyes.

He knew that Catherine blamed herself for what's happening to her sister now. She must be thinking that she should've taken care of her grieving sister better. He shook his head, it wasn't anyone's fault.

Catherine reached her hand to hold Cassandra's delicate hand. Her sparkling eyes dimmed down with sadness. She breathed out a sad sigh when he heard his mother asking her about Aveline's condition.

Catherine informed that her niece wasn't in a better shape, at first the little Aveline was quiet and silent which gravely worried them. After much effort, they succeeded in making Aveline take out her sadness.

From time to time, Aveline would occasionally cry as her little voice kept whimpering about missing her father and mother. Fortunately, even with all that's happening, they didn't find any difficulty when they were about to put her into sleep.

Catherine notified that Samantha wasn't alone in taking care of little Aveline right now, both her paternal Song grandparents, late Nicholas' father and mother were also there to take care of their grieving granddaughter.

Catherine grasped Cassandra's hand tight, as she whispered with moistened eyes, "Please you can't be like this. Please wake up. Everyone needs you. Aveline needs her mother."

"Sandy, do you remember back then when we're child?" Catherine smiled sadly, "When we play hide and seek. When you fell asleep in dad's attic for hours sending mom to hysterical state thinking that you went missing."

Darren could see the dam broke in his sister's eyes as beads of tears fell down onto Cassandra's hand. "When you found out about it you're so sad for making her cry like that. I hope you can hear me. You're now making mom cries for days and nights. Look at how miserable she becomes."

"Please look around you." Catherine continued and he reached behind her to hold his hands around her trembling shoulders. "Nicholas would've saddened if he saw how miserable you've become. He will hate you if you keep abandoning his daughter like this."

"I know you're suffering." Catherine breathed out between her sobs, "But I want you to know that we would always be there for you. You're not alone. We're here. I need you. We need you. Aveline needs you."

Darren embraced Catherine from behind and sighed. Day soon switched to night and another days passed by. By now, Cassandra has been unconscious for four days. His mother and father refused to go home as they kept waiting vigil in her room.

They would alternate sleeping on the private room hospital had provided while the other remained awake watching their daughter. The only times they left the room were to get food, shower and change clothes.

He insisted that they should take a break and let him watch Cassandra alone, yet they both refused to heed his advice. They remained in the room silently watching their daughter hooked up to IV's and all other kinds of machines giving readouts.

All the whole time when they're waiting for Cassandra to show some improvement, disappointments were all they got, as Cassandra occasionally regained her consciousness in between, but it's just for a few seconds when she ended up mumbling Nicholas' name whilst shedding tears and fell unconscious again.

Five days went on and finally, in the evening Cassandra began to regain her consciousness, waking up. Seeing the movement, his mother was ecstatic but Cassandra just looked at her mother with her dimmed eyes filled with emptiness.

Cassandra was pale beyond recognition and as she tried to get up, his mother immediately stopped her. His father just watched from the sideline whilst his mother held her shoulder gently. "Don't move."

He reached to the other side of the bed as he held her hand, she's cold, very cold. That's the moment when he felt an endless sadness crept into his heart as his irises enlarged at his seemingly soulless sister.

Looking at her, he found it hard to believe that the woman before him was his sister. Cassandra was just silent as she looked around with her face devoid of any emotion. It would have been better if she just cry or scream.

He found there's nothing in her eyes, not even tears, she just looked back at them with numbness and emptiness in her lusterless eyes. It felt like she wasn't there with them, as she looked spiritless and emotionless.

Darren gazed at both his parents and sure enough, he caught their eyes darkened with indescribable sorrow and they became very still, very pale, looking at such devastating form of their daughter.

"My daughter." His mother tried to hold back her tears as his father just held her tight, they didn't want to show any weakness before their daughter, she's suffered enough.

"Mother. Why are we here?" Cassandra asked low, her voice lacking any emotion, as she looked down at the IV drip that attached to her left hand. "What happened to me?"

His mother eyed her daughter with much difficulty, like her heart was being torn off her chest. It seemed that she just couldn't bring herself to say something, or to tell a lie.

His mother looked around, at him and her husband, and they nodded their heads in understanding. His mother began, "Sweetheart, please mother will tell you everything later. Please rest for now. You're weak and you better rest to heal yourself so we can go home as soon as possible."

Cassandra just nodded her head lightly in response. Her lack of emotion worried them immensely. It's what they're afraid most when Cassandra moved her right off her mother's hold to touch her stomach.

His sister caressed her flat belly and asked, as her emotionless eyes returned back to her mother, "What happened to me? Why does it hurt?" They knew what she's asking about as she kept caressing her stomach.

All of them held their breath as Darren saw his mother closed her eyes, as she failed to hold back the river of tears that slid down her cheeks. His mother seemed to know that she couldn't tell a lie. Cassandra deserved better than that.

His mother opened her eyes and breathed in a long breath as his father squeezed her shoulders, wanting to give her strength.

"You were pregnant." His mother said, holding her breath, vision blurred by her tears.

"I was pregnant?" Cassandra looked down at her stomach, eyes still devoid of any emotion.

"I see." Cassandra murmured. Silence.

Time seemed to stand still for them as the sorrowful silence descended down upon them. His mother cried softly as his father embraced her from behind. It's a moment later when Cassandra's weak voice slashed through the silence.

"I think I would like to be alone."

Cassandra drawled out, her voice still calm and quiet. His mother wanted to hold Cassandra tight in her embrace but his father stopped her. He looked at his wife and shook his head sadly. Despite how hard it's, they decided to give Cassandra some space to be alone.

Without another word, they got up and turned around, walking out of the room leaving his sister behind. Once they're outside and the door was closed. His mother collapsed and broke into sorrowful cries in the chest of her husband.

Days and nights kept rolling past their world and Cassandra lingered in the hospital for total eight days. It's the ninth day when the doctor found her physical health had improved and approved his mother's urge to take his sister home.

He and his parents drove Cassandra home with an additional nurse his mother had asked to help them in taking care of Cassandra's condition. It's been three days since Cassandra regained her consciousness, yet what worried them was her mental health as she kept behaving like the day when she first woke up.

Once they arrived at Qin mansion, both his parents escorted Cassandra towards her bedroom. It's an hour later when all of the family found themselves in the living room. Catherine, Samantha and Aveline were nowhere in sight as they decided that Cassandra wasn't in a condition to face her daughter.

His mother just stood by the wall studying the family photographs framed on the wall that had tracked their lives. Seemingly yearning the time where both her daughter and son in law were there with them living blissful lives.

Both him and his father also continued to sink into melancholy as they focused from one picture to the next. All them were thinking on how to handle their lives from here on, thinking how to get Cassandra to move on with her life.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

The heart, gut-wrenching wail from upstairs echoed downstairs and brought him to action, all of them were shocked by the loud screech of cry. Darren bounded up the stairs as another mournful cry repeated.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

The sorrowful, heartbreaking cry continued past the possibility of earthly endurance and the pain stabbed at his heart as he scurried to the source. He dashed into Cassandra's bedroom and was welcomed by the devastating sight before him.

There, on the floor of her bedroom was the collapsed figure of Cassandra crying inconsolably as a third mournful denial erupted from her. He's shaken to the core of his soul at the sight.

Both his parents followed right after and then they approached Cassandra with their heart shattered into pieces. They realised then that Cassandra hadn't manifested any true emotional release during her time in hospital and now it's coming up in spades for Cassandra.

They dropped to the floor beside mournful Cassandra desperately seeking to find some way to comfort her as his mother gathered her daughter in her arms.

"Nicholas! My Baby! Our Baby!" Cassandra continued to cry out as his mother held her tight, Cassandra buried her face against her mother's chest as she kept crying violently. The house echoed with painful cries as Cassandra continued to release her emotions.

Darren and his father felt like their worlds were crushed before their very eyes as they watched Cassandra in such a wretched state. Their hearts were bleeding for her but they're glad that she finally let out her emotions.

After what seemed like forever, Cassandra's wails began to calm down albeit she still kept crying uncontrollably. His mother cried alongside her daughter, "It's alright dear, Mother's here with you. Let it come."

"Mom what have I done to deserve all of this? I just lost my husband and now I had also lost my baby, our baby. I couldn't even tell Nicholas that he will be a father again, and now I lost my baby. Mom, I don't want to live like this. My baby didn't deserve a mother like me."

Cassandra wailed in agonizing cries as her mother held her. His mother caressed her daughter's hair to let Cassandra pour her heart out. "I couldn't even ask forgiveness from Nicholas and our baby. What a worst wife and mother I've been."

His mother reached her hand to hold her daughter by her head and looked her in the eye, Cassandra kept crying as her mother comforted, "Please don't blame yourself. It's not your fault dear. Please, Nicholas and your baby would be sad from there if they saw you like this."

"Mom, it hurts. Knowing that my baby would never take breath into her or his lungs. Never look at me with her or his beautiful eyes. I always imagined her or his eyes would be the same striking shade as Nicholas. Mom, I failed him, I miss him."

Cassandra continued to cry as they comforted her. They remained huddled on the floor for an hour. It's when Cassandra seemed to be exhausted from pouring her emotions out had she stopped and wanted to sleep. They reluctantly parted with her with their heart ached.

From there onwards, day by day, Cassandra withered away and his mother's health began to worsen as well. Afraid of what would be happening to her, they had Cassandra watched and monitored for twenty four hours all day.

Both him and his father were restless as they decided to invite a lot of mental and medical experts from all over the country to their home, to provide Cassandra with the best treatments. Unfortunately, Cassandra's condition didn't show any sign of improvement.

Days went by and a month had passed since the day when Cassandra had a miscarriage. Life didn't go on for her, his sister existed, and despite their best efforts in taking care of her, Cassandra still lost her weight and phycologically miserable.

His parents seemed to reach their limits as they looked like they could collapse at any time. They kept praying for the nightmare to stop. He balanced his life between his military duty and fathering Aveline to make sure nothing bad happened to her with the absence of her mother.

In the end, everyone went down as the peak of it's when on a nightmarish night, he went inside his sister's bedroom and found Cassandra lying motionlessly in red-rose covered sheets, with a piece of broken glass in her hand as she soaked in her own blood.

That night was his most sorrowful night as he howled in tears, holding her dying, half-unconscious body in his arms, as he tried to stop the bleeding in her left wrist. He felt like it's just yesterday when he heard her crying with endless sorrow.

"Aveline, please where's my Aveline? Please forgive mother."

Darren was lost in the river of memories as he sat inside the Victoria-styled study room. His eyes shut and lips tight. With the serenity of night as his only companion. It's when he heard that the door was opened pulled him out the fraction of memory did he open his eyes.

"Darren."

He heard her calling his name as he failed to hide the molten fury in his magnetic eyes, looking at the approaching figure of his sister. He just watched Cassandra in silence and then signaled her to sit in front of him.