53 a very small chapter 4

"Fuck! Fuck!"

I anxiously paced around my room listening to the sounds of everyone waking up.

I was battling the intrusive thoughts of last night. I wanted to desperately forget it. To pretend it never happened. I knew it was wrong on so many levels, but a small part of me couldn't stop rejoicing.

I felt sick to my stomach and started biting my nails down to the skin of my fingers. A terrible habit of mine that resurfaced once again.

"Shit!"

What am I going to do? I can't go downstairs.

I was startled by the smell of breakfast wafting into my room.

But if I don't, then it's going to seem weird. Then Miyuki and Saya will get suspicious… especially Saya!

That is.. unless..

God no! No! No! No! No! I'm already in a precarious situation with Saya as it is. I know what she said before about helping me and blah blah blah. but... she's not exactly rational. I don't need anything blowing her top.

"Fuck!"

I begrudgingly got dressed for school before heading to my door.

My hand lingered on the door knob as I inhaled a deep breath.

This is going to suck.

After a self deprecating laugh, I slowly opened my door and proceeded to head down stairs.

It's kind of quiet? This just makes it feel so much worse.

Once I walked into the kitchen, I was greeted by the sight of Kenzie running around like a chicken with her head cut off. Frantically flipping pancakes while struggling to properly fold her omelets. But, once I walked into the kitchen she turned into a deer in headlights.

Out of the corner of my eye Saya and Miyuki were giving me very unsettling looks.

Miyuki looked.. dead. That's the best way I can describe it. Her eyes were like that of a lifeless fish as she silently stared at me.

Saya on the other hand…

She had those same empty eyes very reminiscent of a yandere. But, she looked perfectly calm. Not angry, upset, happy, nothing. Just a blank slate.

They.. know..

THEY KNOW! THEY KNOW!!!! OH!!! FUCK! THEY KNOW!!!

ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!

The world twisted and warped in strange ways and time came to a grinding halt.

My heart pounded as I observed the three women in front of me. My palms were sweaty and my stomach churned horribly. I could feel my eye twitching uncontrollably and it was becoming steadily more difficult to breathe.

I… I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this.

I fucked up! I fucked up! I'm fucked up! I can't do this!

Suddenly, It felt like something inside of me snapped.

"I…I'll be right back. I have to use the bathroom."

No one said anything as I turned heel and walked towards the front door, before quietly slipping out of the house.

With no real idea of what I wanted to do, or where to go, I let my body make the decision as I began to walk. There was only one thought in my head.

I can't go back.