Prologue

Warnings

1. This chapter was made for story contexed Tho I tried to make It as entertaining as possible

2. To save time and get this out to you as soon as possible I used some of my old draft from the first attempt at this story so if some of the story looks familiar or out of place that's way, I wanted to get as much back story out of the way as soon as possible, so because I hate wasting my hard work and so I could start the new without all the baggage I had to do this.

I hope you enjoy If not sorry. 

Asmodeus POV Ten Years Before Helluva Boss Plot 

I was walking down the hall of my manner towards my son's room. I never thought I'd have a kid but the afterlife had a way of surprising you sometimes. He was conceived right after mine and Beelzebub's fall. We fought over who would raise him to the point of acutely coming to blows. 

Lucy had to step in after we destroyed the rings of heresy and treachery taking the nine rings down to seven. Let's just say I've never seen Lucy as mad as he was that day. After he sat us down and we came to an agreement on what the humans of today call joint custody. She gets him the first half of the month and I get the rest of it except birthdays and holidays we sure those.

Over the years he's turned into a fine young man he was almost a clone of me by choice except his feathers were white and he had stopped growing at around 7 feet tall as opposed to my 12 but as he grew older I started to notice some things.

My son was stronger than me and his mother. It started on his fifteenth birthday Bell and I had decided it was time to introduce him to the public. As soon as he entered the room it turned into a cannibalistic orgy and those under a certain level of power that looked directly at him turned to stone. {All and all it was a fun party.} 

It took us over a thousand years to get his powers under enough control to go out in public and the power was so great that it was slowly started to fuse the lust and gluttony rings together and expand them to be ten times bigger than all other rings put together as you can imagine Lucy was not happy with being outdone and started to put more power into expanding pride ring to match it's size. {If there Isn't a sex joke there about size not mattering I'd sell my left nut.} 

{But that was neither here nor there.} I thought to myself as I arrived at my son's door. (Knock Knock!) "Oh~ Hastur I'm both respecting your privacy by knocking but exerting my authority as your father by coming in anyway!" I said as I knocked down the door to the room with a battering ram made of magic.

It was about what I was expected his room was going to be like. Empty alcohol bottles and full condoms everywhere Hastur and his first, second, and third wives were naked as the day they were born. {Or died in his wives case.}

{I don't quite know what to think of the former sinners but they were the mothers to my grandkids I so adored.} I thought to myself as I remembered how they became my son's wives. 

Alice was a dear demon Hastur brought back with him in 1905 they were both drunk and smelled like a brewery with wedding rings on their hands. When they woke up the next morning Alice looked... Pleased? it was hard to tell with her. While Hastur looked like the world was ending, she now runs his music, radio show, and casino businesses. And overall, she just seemed to enjoy the chaos that followed my son around wherever he went. {through no fault of his own, He just seemed to always be at the wrong place at the wrong time.}

Valentina, on the other hand, was a moth demon. her story was similar to Alice's story he came home high as a kit in 1973 with the moth demon on his arm grinning like she had won the fucking lottery with a ring on her ring finger she runs his adult entertainment industry porn, drugs, and prostitutes. She's tough but fair with her employees they have health care, purge protection, and good pay. but Lucy help you if you fuck up.

Vox was a...? I'm not quite sure what Vox was. Was she supposed to be a tv? A monitor? her story was a bit more boring. I came downstairs one morning and she was just there, all she was wearing was my son's shirt and a pair of panties eating a bowl of cereal. when she saw me she paused for a second then slowly started eating again while keeping me in eyesight. I on the other hand went back to sleep because it was too dam early for that shit. She runs hell's internet and TV industry. {She and Alice do not get along for some reason.} 

"It's time to get up you have a big day ahead of you," I said as I made my way over to the bed careful not to step on any condoms and making a mental note to have the maid burn his sheets. "Come on my eldest grandbaby is here to see you." 

He buried his head deeper into Valentina's tits getting a sulty moan from the moth demon "I don't want to have sex right now Val..., I just want to want to cuddle."

{Oh yeah, I was having none of that.} I thought as I summoned a blowhorn. "GET THE FUCK UP NOW!" The four jumped in surprise before falling off the bed. Ahh~ the joy of being a parent.

Hastur Pov Asmodeus castle dining room

{I don't know how I got here one minute I'm sleeping in my bed dreaming about bad bitch's then poof I'm a demon prince named after the king in yellow} (sure thats not going to bit me in the ass later.) {but surprisingly it's not that bad.}

{It started around 9000 years ago one night like any other Asmodeus was having a sex party to celebrate his freedom from heaven, but something amazing was going to happen on that fateful night. Asmodeus was going to knock up my mother Beelzebub when he heard the news that he got her pregnant it put my father in an absolutely joyous mood. He became a doting and overprotective parent almost overnight.}

{Now you may be thinking I'm overreacting but you have to understand that a demon king's chance of having a kid let alone one with another king without a special medicine is less than 3%, To have a kid when he wasn't even trying was well..., how to put this? To a normal human, an unexpected kid would be a bad thing or unfortunate at the least, but to the demon king of lust, it was a miracle and a blessing, ironic I know.}

{Don't get me wrong this is hell so it hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows for me mistakes were made, the biggest of witch is sitting right beside me, but I couldn't say I regretted it.}

I look to my right to see a woman with pink hair and a crazy smile and DD-breasts wearing a pink suit.

"Alice could you pour me another cup of tea please." The woman beside me is my first wife Alice or as you may know her as Alastor.

"~Way I'd be delighted to.~" she said giving me her usual smile as she poured me another cup.

now you maybe be wondering how I ended up married to a female version of one of this universe's craziest overlords well it was a combination of a bet and me not thinking my words through it all started like this.

<FLASHBACK< p>

I was walking around the pride ring looking for demons and sinners to scam it had become a hobby of mine. I had just turned 8872 and my father was having a party so I was looking to make a deal.

It was getting late and Just as I was about to give up when I found a target, even though she looked like I had seen her somewhere before I didn't bother to think about it too much, she had a power perfect for a bodyguard and after all, hell was a dangerous place one can never have too many strong bodyguards.

"Miss can I talk to you for a minute!" I Said as I ran to her. "~Oh what can I help you with my feathery friend?~" She said in a surprisingly cheerful manner for a citizen of hell. "What anyone in pride's gambling district would want, a bet." Her smile twisted, and suddenly this seemed like a bad idea. "~A bet how wonderful it's been years since anyone had the guts to make a bet with me what the bet?~" She said going back to her normal smile.

"A game of black jack and as son of Asmodeus I offer a favor of house Asmodeus." {Now that my not seem like a lot but a favor of house Asmodeus is a favor of Asmodeus himself and even a overlord would kill for a favor from a king of hell. "~How entertaining and what would you want from me?~" I smile and point at her. "I want you for myself." {Thinking about it now that was rather suggestive but to be fair my dad is the prince of lust and His every other word is an innuendo it became the norm for me.} She looked at me like I was crazy but then smiled again.

"~You truly are your father's son so lustful so passionate to bet so much on lust alone, I love it.~" What did my father or lust have to do with this {Again that should been my first clue I said something wrong.}

But before I could ask what she meant she spoke again "~Very well I accept the bet.~" She said with a green evil feeling glow shrouding her and I "~Follow me my feathery friend.~" Why does it feel like even if I win this I'll lose?

3 Hours Later

Three hours I was trained by Mammon himself in Gambling and Cheating and it took me three hours to beat her Mammon is never going to let me live this down, just as I was about to say something the same green glow as before warped around her and I's ring fingers tuning into gold rings.

"~Today is just full of surprises I wasn't expecting to get married today and yet here I am to an ancient evil no less truly entertaining.~" {At the time, I said the only thing I could.}

"What?"

"~Oh forgive me my darling husband I haven't even introduced myself my name is Alice but most people call me the radio demon.~" She said with a smile that told me she knew exactly what she did.

"What!?" I asked again with a lot more panic.

"~This will be very entertaining.~" She said as smile twisted again.

FLASHBACK ENDED

Sigh~{I drank myself into a afterwards, Sense then it has been a constant battle to keep her special brand of crazy under control.}

{It's not all bad though when she's not getting us in trouble she's surprisingly fun to be around and that smile is infectious.}

{You know I thought my father be angry I got married so. {despite being nearly nine thousand years old, and I can make my own decisions.} but he just gave me a warning about sticking my dick in crazy. My thoughts were interpreted by Alice.

"~So today's a special day.~" She said as she ate a piece of toast, Val and Vox on the other side of the room talking to Silk and Dad.

"Are anniversary is not for another 132 days 9 hours 27 minutes and 37 seconds." I made very-very-very sure I never forget that day, I don't know if she cares but I don't want to take the chance she dose.

Alice Pov

I blush a little at the thought that he'd remember our anniversary over his own birthday.

Over the ninety years we've been married I've never had to look for entertainment, it comes to us, It's like my husband is a magnet for entertaining things to happen.

I mean just yesterday we stopped a Little girl from getting raped in an alleyway. The week before that he found an 8-year-old runaway hellhound only to find her a home 2 hours later with a strange little Imp.

He finds himself in the most bizarre settings and I absolutely love it, at first, I only married him To get Mama to stop leaving hints at our house to find a partner to bring back to cannibal colony. So I rigged the bet so that no matter what he did he would have ended up married to me.

I was desperate and bored that's why I chose him, at least at first but as the years passed I found reasons to like him and I even started even falling in love with him.

And it's so much more fun than I thought it'd be there's never a dull moment and Mama seems to like him. {He was doomed to forever be my entertainment, it's so romantic isn't it?!}

"~No dear husband of mine it's your birthday!~" my husband's feathers seemed to somehow turn a paler shade of white not that I didn't understand, his family has always gone overboard on his birthday parties.

"Where are my parents." He asked quietly shaking now noticing Asmodeus was nowhere to be seen anymore. "~I don't know he left five minutes ago.~"

"Good that means there's still time to hide." He said as he got up and ran like he did every birthday and like every other they'd catch him.

"~Today is going to be fun.~"

Fizzarolli Pov Asmodeus's office

"Ozzie calm down, getting angry is not going to help!" I said trying to catch my breath and with the amount of demonic energy and killing intent in the room it was hard.

"I'm not mad fizzy." He said in a calm voice but the killing intent said otherwise. "I was mad when I fell from heaven because of my lust, I was mad when Mammon changed me 5'000 souls for a sex toy that didn't even work, I was mad when Friends was canceled."

"No I'm not mad." I could only look in horror as he started to get bigger changing into his true from.

(true from here)

"I'm fucking furious Rrrrraaaaaaaa!" He roared as he broke down the wall and headed towards Pride Ring. "Shit, what could Lucifer possibly put in the letter to piss Asmodeus off so much?" I said as I picked up and read the letter and my eyes widened in fear it said that Lucifer was cashing in one of his favors to have an arranged marriage between Hastur and his daughter. "Shit, I got only Hastur only he could stop Ozzie from killing Lucifer!"

Cringe warning you have been warned!

Third Pov 666news

"Welcome to 666news as always I'm Katie Killjoy," she said with her usually Insane smile. "And I'm Tom Trench." He said in sync with Katie. "In today's news Asmodeus has gone completely batshit." She said looking slightly too happy with that news.

"I don't think I've ever seen Asmodeus this pissed. This may be the end of hell as we know it. I mean who in their right mind would piss off a king of hell like this." Tom said in fear.

Katie stopped him as she listened into her earpiece. "Wait hold that thought Tom I just got word that the reason for Asmodeus's anger is" She goes pale, as it dawns on her how bad this really was. "Apparently Hell's own head honcho Lucifer himself has used one of his favors from Asmodeus to Arrange a marriage between Their children Hastur Asmodeus and Charlie Magne."

Tom adopted a look of awe, horror, and disbelief. "It really is the end of hell as we know it. Why would Lucifer do this? Everyone knows Asmodeus loves his son more than he loves sex."

Katie started crying. "I don't know Tom but one thing for sure."

They both look at the screen and say in unison. "We're Fucked."

 Hastur Pov

ASMODEUS STOP DESTROYING MY CASTLE, It's going to take weeks to fix this! {"He can not be serious right now. All this and he's worried about his castle. Whatever is not important what is important is stopping Asmodeus from destroying hell."} I thought to myself. "DAD STOP YOUR DESTROYING HELL YOU'LL KILL US ALL!" He continues swinging too enraged to think clearly

Getting in front of him he slows to a stop "I really don't mind marrying Charlie, so let's go home you have a ridiculous party to throw for me." Hearing I wasn't upset about the deal seemed to calm him as he began to shrink back. 

"Let's go Home," he said with a smile. As we left lucifer just stood there not believing what he saw. "Oh and Luci stay out of lust ring, OR I'LL KILL YOU." his voice taking on a demonic tone at the end.

WHAT ABOUT MY CASTLE! HEY DON'T IGNORE ME YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW! Lucifer screamed 

Valentina Pov next day in a limo

"Baby we really need to get our own place. We have more than enough money and I'm getting tired of keeping Alice from killing your dad." There were few things that could make the dear demon stop smiling and loudly waking her up was one of them. It took me my husband and Alice's son to keep her from killing Asmodeus yesterday.

"Sigh~ I've tried Val but every time I start to bring it up my parents start crying." In a way, I can understand them as a mother myself. But It's time to let go, he's been living with them for almost nine thousand years.

"Let me and the girls talk to them, OK love." Hastur sighed again before nodding he hated upsetting his parents, especially his mother and the bitch never liked us for so reason, but that doesn't matter anymore One way or the other this shit was ending...Today!

"Enough with this depressing shit for today, it's time to put my bottom bitch back in her place. She seems to have forgotten what she is." I said as the limo came to a stop at one of our clubs. 

Five minutes later outside the VIP room

Song (Get Hooked) by Paranoid DJ

"Sure can move, that one." one of the bouncers said Still not noticing I was here seriously what do I pay these shit stains for if they're not protecting my merchandise. 

"Whatever, there's only one way you that whore to be movin'." The other idiot said still not noticing I was here with my husband and sister's wives no less, their getting a pay cut for embarrassing me like this and their new names are idiot one and two from this day forth.

"Look, if I have to stand here all fuckin' night, kickin' assholes out' 'cause they want in Val's VIP room, then I'm gonna appreciate what she's got on offer." Idiot one said ensuring a 25% pay cut for the next three months at least.

"Yeah, Yeah, Just don't let her hear you say that. She and her husband gonna be showin' up tonight and she's doing a show of her own." Idiot two said at least he knows I'm going to be here tonight.

"Tonight? Really? You mean, like...on the poles or...?" And idiot two has just ensured a 75% pay cut for six months I thought looking over to Haster, And he looked pissed at the comment, Vox was also nervously looking at Hastur ready to hold him back if he jumped the idiot, and Alice was trying a little too hard not to laugh at my expense.

"I don't fuckin' know! I'm not paid to question what the boss lady does!" That's right you're not just like you're not paid to fuck around and talk shit. "But I heard she thinks Angel's gettin' a bit too big for her boots, tryin' to slip in songs and routines that are sly digs at her, and Val don't take sly digs very well." And idiot one earned a 10% pay cut.

"Well, I hope she's ready, people don't really come here to see her." And that's enough of these idiots.

"Oh, they'll be reminded..." I say from the shadows scaring the fuck out of idiot one, While Vox and Alice were dragging Hastur to our private box to keep him from murdering the help and ready for the show. 

"Shit boss lady, I-I mean uh...Welcome, no trouble tonight Mam." Wow idiot one was really trying to save his skin too bad he's still getting a pay cut.

"You have everything ready for a little upstagin'? I said with a smile that seemed to make the two nervous.

"Got it covered, boss lady. just say the word." Hmm, surprisingly component so I'll take the pay cut down to 5%. "Though, uh...have to admit, I don't know what this is all for." And It's back to 10% for trying to lie to me.

"You're a terrible liar, baby," I say as I walk past him only to turn my head back to him. "Or did you think I couldn't hear you on the way in, but...your right, I need to set things a little straight with my... property...kill it."

The lights turn off and at DJ starts my introduction. "Ladies and gentledemons Please welcome a special appearance from your patron for one night only, the overlord of lust and depravity herself Mrs. Valentina." The beat dropped as the lights came back on.

"Hahaha!" As I walk on stage Angel looks like she gonna shit bricks.

"Aw...shit." She said as she followed my eyes to our private box to see Hastur sitting on an expensive couch with Alie in one arm and Voxy in the other glaring at her, she know she was fucked and Mommy and Daddy would be fucking her well after the show tonight was over.

"Don't look so shocked, Angel, Mommy's a performer too~ you know the song, and I expect you to perform it just as well as you always do. Understand?" I was now in her face my glare making It clear a fuck up would end in worse punishment than some BDSM play.

"Got It..." Good she's learning 

 Song start 

Valentina Singing

So I'm the Boss Lady~

A queen to the fanatic~

And I've got anythin, you'll ever want~

Make you an ADDICT~

So call me~

Mrs.~

Call me~

Mommy~

Call me~

C.E.O~

But for you, baby doll?~

just call me Valentina~

CAUSE I RUN THIS~

Empire of narcotics and sex~

AND I FLAUNT THIS~

Every day, I'm gon, be cashin' the checks~

WATCH ME WORK THIS~

Eye's up, Show the woman respect!~

NO DISSERVICE ~

Come on, baby now, sing it for me perfect~

Angel Singing

You'll feel pleasures that you never knew were real before~

Get your name up in light what you waitn' for?~

Come to me on your knees show me what you can do~

Gimme everrythin' you have I'll make a star outta you~

Valentina and Angel Singing

Cause it's all the same to me in either heaven or hell~

I'm gonna do just what I want until I hear that bell~

So come and play, baby, and get out of your shell~

With my hands on your and my taste on your lips~

I'LL GET YOU HOOKED~

Valentina Singing

I'll get you hooked~ (undertone)

I'LL GET YOU HOOKED~

Leave you cravin' every pleasure and sin~

HOOKED HOOKED HOOKED~

Take you to your limit 'til you give in~

I'LL GET YOU HOOKED~

Do what I say, I'll put you on the 'roll~

HOOKED.HOOKED.HOOKED.HOOKED.HOOKED~ (quickly)

Make you scream, sell away your soul~

I'LL GET YOU HOOKED~

Get you feelin' like I'm all that you need~

HOOKED HOOKED HOOKED HOOKED~

All in the service of insatiable greed~

I'LL GET YOU HOOKED~

Don't want no back talk, just follow my word~

HOOKED.HOOKED.HOOKED.HOOKED.HOOKED~ (quickly)

Get to It or you're~

GONNA GET HURT~

Now, baby, You really gonna give me that face?~

Down here, I'm your one and only savin grace~

But this ain't charity work, there's standards you gotta meet~

And tied up tight in my bed, I bet you'd taste so sweet~

CAUSE I RUN THIS~

Supplier of the highs and releases~

AND I FLAUNT THIS~

All them motherfuckers claw for the pieces~

WATCH ME WORK THIS~

That's it, honey, let yourself succumb~

NO DISSERVICE ~

Pin you down, Arch your back 'til you...~

Angel Singing

You'll feel pleasures that you never knew were real before~

Get your name up in light what you waitn' for?~

Come to me on your knees show me what you can do~

Gimme everrythin' you have I'll make a star outta you~

Valentina and Angel Singing

Cause it's all the same to me in either heaven or hell~

I'm gonna do just what I want until I hear that bell~

So come and play, baby, and get out of your shell~

With my hands on your and my taste on your lips~

Valentina Singing

I'LL GET YOU HOOKED~

Leave you cravin' every pleasure and sin~

HOOKED HOOKED HOOKED~

Take you to your limit 'til you give in~

I'LL GET YOU HOOKED~

Do what I say, I'll put you on the 'roll~

I'LL GET YOU HOOKED~

Get you feelin' like I'm all that you need~

HOOKED HOOKED HOOKED HOOKED~

All in the service of insatiable greed~

I'LL GET YOU HOOKED~

Don't want no back talk, just follow my word~

HOOKED.HOOKED.HOOKED.HOOKED.HOOKED~ (quickly)

Get to It or you're~

GONNA GET HURT~

"See, baby?" I say as I bring her body close to mine. "this is the only thing they care about." She sadly starts to look up to where Hastur is. "The one who can give them what they want, not the thing itself." She started to tear up a bit, I'm starting to feel a little bad for her... just a little.

"So let me be clear in case you think takin' cheap shots in your routines is somethin' you can get away with...you are merchandise for me." I say as I bring her face back to look at me. "You want to retire and be Daddy's personal Little slut your going to have to earn it."

Valentina and Angel Singing

I'LL GET YOU HOOKED~

Leave you cravin' every pleasure and sin~

HOOKED HOOKED HOOKED~

Take you to your limit 'til you give in~

I'LL GET YOU HOOKED~

Do what I say, I'll put you on the 'roll~

I'LL GET YOU HOOKED~

Get you feelin' like I'm all that you need~

HOOKED HOOKED HOOKED HOOKED~

All in the service of insatiable greed~

I'LL GET YOU HOOKED~

Don't want no back talk, just follow my word~

HOOKED.HOOKED.HOOKED.HOOKED.HOOKED~ (quickly)

Get to It or you're~

GONNA GET HURT~

I'LL GET YOU HOOKED~

End of song

"Now let's go to the limo, Daddy's waiting for you to receive your punishment~." She started blushing at the implication and started rubbing her thighs together, (sigh) Masochistic slut, still today wasn't all bad, I got to see my little silkworm now I just have to go help him with his little problem.

The next day Silk's POV

{I love my parents, I really do but when I came home depressed about my fight with Verosika this was not what I had in mind.} I thought to myself as the limo took us to my parent's new home.

"This here son is an intervention." My mom said as we pulled into the driveway to a purple mansion with a gold statue of Dad sitting on a fancy chair with Mom in his lap her arms wrapped around his neck, Aunt Alice leaning over to look at Dad with a sinister smile, and Aunt Vox sitting next to the chair legs crossed an open pc in her lap typing something.

It was excessive and unnecessarily expensive so it was most definitely Mom's Idea.

"You seem to be having trouble keeping dates exciting, it's a common problem in long-term relationships." This...was better advice than I thought it would be.

"So you're going to teach me how to spice up our relationship?" I looked at her with hope, I knew I could count on mom.

"Fuck no, I'm gonna teach you how to make that bitch behave." Fuck I knew I couldn't count on mom. "You have to understand sweetie that demon bitches want a man that can put them in their place, but also keep them happy and feeling loved, I raised you right so you got the second part down, we just need to work on the first part." (sigh)...And there It was, my mother has always been a mom first, a pimp second, and a woman third. 

We started to walk into the mansion as Mom went into detail. "Did you know that at least 75% of bitches suffer from some sort of hearing loss, This alarming statistic is showing that talking is not the best way to communicate with a bitch.

"OK, so what you're solution Mom?" I was afraid of her answer Mother was not big on tact.

"that's when you have to hit them." I looked at my mother in horror, It was so much worse then I thought it would be.

"Woe What!" She's joking right. 

"You tell them what you want them to do, and if they says no you hit the bitch simple." She explained like it was a well-known fact. 

"I can't hit Verosika! I couldn't any women unprovoked!" She can't be serious, I was raised better than that by her and Dad.

"Has not hitting the bitch been working, I mean scientifically speaking has not hitting the bitch achieved the desired results." The Fuck.

"No way, I-I-I, I just, I can't, I couldn't." This is madness, My Mom is quite literally crazy. 

"Son-Son take a deep breath it's ok all demons have phobias, some demons can't cross bridges and you can't go upside bitch's head, but like all fears we can overcome them." She said as she led me into a...Training room? way...just way is my family like this!

Just as I contemplated going home my mother called for my attention. In the middle of the room was a spider demon dressed in workout clothes. "Son this is my bottom bitch Angel Dust, Now she's gonna help you reestablish dominance at home."

Ok so we're doing this cool we're just going to ignore what I want entirely, aren't we? "Hi I guess, Mom and Dad talk about you a lot." This whole thing was making me nervous.

Angel replied with a smile. "All good things I hope?"

"It's a mixed bag." That wasn't untrue, Mom complained about a Masochistic slut trying to get into Dads harem, And Dad said she was a good fuck and wouldn't having her in the harem but she'd have to earn it.

Mom started speaking again bringing attention back to her. "All right-all right that's enough getting to know each other, Now son what I want you to do is grab Angel firmly by the arm and command her to go with you."

All right that was easy enough to do. "Verosika! ge..." As I was starting Mom interrupted me. "Bitch." She said implying I was supposed to call Angel a bitch someting I was very uncomfortable with. Dont get me wrong I was no puss over when assholes wanted to fuck around and find out but this was different. "Do I really have to call her a bitch?"

Mom just sook her head as if she was disappointed in me for asking such a stupid question. "Yes Son, trust me I've done the research, now start again." The fuck kinda' research is a pimp even qualified to do?

Sighing I take a deep breath to get ready. " Bitch, get your ass to the car now!" There I said it was this nightmare over now? I can go home and forget this ever happened...right?

Then all hell broke loss. "KISS MY ASS YOU LIMP DICK FAGGIT MOTHERFUCKER. IF YOU WAS ANY KINDA' REAL MAN I WOULDN'T NEED TO GO ON TOUR IN THE FIRST PLACE!" I think this is the most hurt my pride has ever been, no one has ever said anything that hurtful to me my entire life (mostly because they knew I'd rip their spines out if they did).

My left eye twitched at the absurdity of the situation I find my self in. "I don't think Verosika would say something like that." 

 Completely ignoring my comment Mom continued her madness. "Now at this moment it's clear reasoning with the bitch isn't going to work son, that's when you hit her."

"I don't want too." I was putting my foot down and I was not going to be a part of this insanity any longer.

Angel just smiled smugly ear to ear obviously trying to piss me off enough to hit her. "It's ok faggit really." And if I was less stubborn or had any less control it would have most definitely worked, I've killed for less.

And then Mom jumped in adding to my anger. "See faggit, she said it's ok."

"MOM! Nothing you or Angel can say or do well get me t-(Bang)!" I found myself on the floor wondering what the fuck just happen, I brought my fingers up to my lips to see that I was bleeding, there was no fucking way that whore did what I think she just did, So I had to ask slowly and calmly if this was really happening. "Did you just punch me?" 

She put lips together in a mocking kiss {OK so this is happening, good to know.} I thought as I slowly got to my feet as the shadows in the room started to twist violently as if in agony and after that all I saw was red.

3rd Person Hastur's Mansion

It was not a good week for Hastur. It started out with him having to keep Alice from killing his dad after he woke her up in a less then ideal manner, then he had to go with Val to one of her clubs where some dipshit (now dead) piece of shit started talking about his her workin' the poles, Then he had to keep said wife and son from destroying their new home, and worst of all, (Ring-Ring-Ring) Somone was calling at five in the morning on his day off.

After forcing himself with a growl to get his cell off the nightstand only to lose some of his anger at seeing the caller ID and answering it. "Stoles this better be a matter of life and death." The voice on the phone sounded panicked. "Wha-I...Stoles calm down!...what do you mean Stella's having a meltdown I...well way do I have to...she's your Ex-wife no...alright-alright I'm coming but you owe me." Hanging up and letting out a sigh. "Today is not going to be a good day, I can tell."

One hour later Stoles and Stella's house

Walking into the Goetia house Hastur was immediately forced to dodge a flying vase only to be tackled to the ground by a crying Stella, he started looking for help only to Stoles rushing his kids out of the door after they were out he looked back to Hastur giving him salute be for running away himself. {I'll remember this!} He thought to himself as he tried to calm Stella down. "Stella what's wrong, way are you so upset."

"My baby's gay, and worse I cot him in bed with an imp!" She cried, She wasn't homophobic or anything but she wanted grandkids at some point and to find out her baby-buy was gay by walking in on him fucking an imp was less the ideal. 

{After hours of crying, she's finally asleep.} Hastur thought as he was going to get up to go home, only to find Stella had a death grip on him. {Look like I'm going to be stuck here for a while as well go back to sleep.} 

Charlie Pov Happy Hotel ten years later

I was slumped against the door think about how it all went wrong. I'm engaged to someone I've never met, Angel ruined my hotel's image, and I just got a call from my mom that my fiancé is coming with his first wife.

Suddenly a knock on the door made me stop mopping and answer. When I opened the door I saw the radio demon, a my fiancé. 

"~Hel~" I slammed the door on her face hoping I was seeing things before opening it again. "~lo.~" Spamming the door in her face again turning to Vaggi my best friend. "hey Vaggi the radio demon and her husband are at the door." She looked at me in shock before asking. "what!?" I panicked. "What should I do!?"

"Well don't let them in" Working up my nerves I open the door again. "~may I speak now?~"

30 minutes later Hastur Pov

 {Alice has clamed down a lot since we got married.} Of course, this had a downside as well. She now had three moods horny, ultra horny, and bored, I'm not sure which is worse, I look down at my watch to see I'm late for work "Dear I'm going to work see you later." I said as I grabbed my keys and head out the door.

"~Be back before nine I'm cooking my mother's jambalaya tonight.~" Alice said out the door as I head to my car.

(Car image here)

30 minutes later at I.M.P

As I walk in to I.M.P to see Loona lying with a picture of a family in her hand and Moxxie with a crossbow aimed at the picture Millie off to the side.

I feared to ask but I must the level of idiocy they can get up to when I'm not around is frightening. "What are you three doing?" I cross my arms and take a deep breath as I steel myself for I.M.P.'s special brand of stupidity.

And I was right to do so. After getting down on one knee and putting my hand on Moxie's cheek ignoring Loona's jealous leer at Mox "Don't worry Mox I know how you feel. But you also know I do background checks on are targets I wouldn't send you to kill a truly innocent family." She relaxed and hit the target.

Just then Blitz broke the door down. "Hey guy's we got a new client!"

30 minutes later

"OK, Mayberry I did the research and you're in luck these people are evil with a capital E. They're are a family of cannibals that uses the mother to lure in victims. Because of this (Blitz curses in the background), it's half off, and because of a problem we had earlier. Evil kids die for free and the total price of the job to 120.99$. for 59.99$ more we can torture them and videotape it for your viewing pleasure."

She looked pleased at that and paid for the torture package. No surprise almost everyone pays for the torture package. As she paid I gave her my number and a wink saying I'd call when the job was done.

Blitza Pov

It's been three years since Hastur offered to be partners. At first, I thought it was suspicious that the king of lust's son who was born with a gold spoon in his mouth would want to help a sexy Imp gal like me. But seriously I'm glad I took the deal it was really in my favor. I got 40% of the company mox 10% and Hastur gets 50% but takes care of the paperwork, repairs, and job booking not to mention the sex was great.

There's one problem though his moral compass. Don't get me wrong he's not a goody two shoes. But he is a bit soft. I blushed a little remembering our many dates. "Alrighty we're gonna Ice those fucks see you when we get back." He smiled and waved goodbye. "Stay safe love." I smiled to myself at his response. {Ya, he's soft but I don't think I'd have him any other way.}