Teasing Words to Befuddle Me and Also My Lord

Having been shoved so forcefully, the esteemed Water Master almost fell to the ground, jumbled and dumbfounded. It was a moment before he called out, "Qingxuan, it's gege."

Shi Qingxuan roared, "I KNOW IT'S YOU!!!"

Since he knew it was Shi Wudu and wasn't delusional, unable to recognize people, then why such a reaction?

Shi Wudu reached for him again. "Everything's alright now…"

Shi Qingxuan slapped that hand away. "ALRIGHT, MY ASS! How can anything be alright?! Don't say anything anymore! AAH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS!"

The moment those words left his lips, it was not only Shi Wudu's face that changed color, but also Ling Wen, standing on the side, and Pei Ming, who had just returned from giving out directives to his subordinates.

"Qingxuan, stop this. What you just said is no different than slapping your brother's face and pouring poison on his heart."

Usually when Shi Qingxuan heard Pei Ming speak, he had to argue back a few times. But now he only held his head wordlessly, ignoring him completely, muttering like he was possessed.

"I don't want to hear anything. You stop talking, too. Let me calm down. Just go. JUST GET OUT OF HERE!!!"

Finally, Shi Wudu couldn't stand it any longer.

"WHAT NONSENSE ARE YOU SPOUTING?!" he shouted.

Ling Wen chided, "Lord Wind Master, if there's anything, just tell us, so we know what we can do to solve it…"

Shi Qingxuan roared, enraged, "DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?! GET OUT OF HERE! CAN YOU ALL PLEASE JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!! AAHHH!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"

He was yelling like he was unhinged, screaming and screaming. Suddenly he spat out a mouthful of blood.

"Lord Wind Master!" Xie Lian exclaimed.

Shi Wudu immediately seized his wrist to check his pulse. After feeling it, his face instantly became more terrifying than a ghost's; as if he was going to throw up blood on the spot, too.

"Lord Water Master, what's wrong with Lord Wind Master?" Xie Lian asked.

He reached out ready to check as well, but Shi Wudu slapped his hand away forcefully; glaring at him with fury, like he couldn't allow Xie Lian to find out just what Shi Qingxuan's condition was. Soon after, he turned to his younger brother.

"You're ill. You're deranged from terror. I'm taking you back for treatment. You will be healed for sure."

Shi Qingxuan stared at him intently, and slowly enunciated his words: "I am not ill. Whether I'm ill, you should know best! Don't write me off as crazy, I'm very aware. I've never been so aware in my life!"

Shi Wudu grabbed hold of him and dragged him to the carriage, yelling, "You don't understand anything! Don't speak nonsense!"

Shi Qingxuan wailed, "MING-XIONG! MING-XIONG, SAVE ME! YOUR HIGHNESS! SAVE ME!"

He reached out with both his arms, grabbing the other two, one with each hand. Xie Lian and Ming Yi both held on to the hands he extended. However, Shi Wudu yanked him away forcibly again.

"Let's go. Everything's alright. Gege is here."

Shi Qingxuan was still screaming, and Pei Ming and Ling Wen went over to help Shi Wudu hold him down.

Ming Yi shouted, "Your brother doesn't want to go back with you!"

Xie Lian exclaimed too, "That Reverend of Empty Words hasn't been dealt with yet; Lord Water Master, what do you plan on…"

Shi Wudu cut him off sharply. "What Reverend of Empty Words? I have no idea what you're all talking about. He's ill. His mind is addled. THAT'S ALL!"

"But Lord Wind Master…" Xie Lian tried again.

Shi Wudu cut him off again. "This is my brother, do you think I would mistreat him? This is our own family affair, no need to trouble outsiders! Would the two lords please not spread word of this around, either, and just mind your own business!"

Then, he raised his hand in front of Shi Qingxuan, and swept it down. Once Shi Qingxuan lost consciousness from the sweep, he was forced into the golden carriage.

Although his words were rude, they stunned Xie Lian. He wasn't wrong. After all, Shi Wudu was the rightful blood brother to Shi Qingxuan, so how could he have any intent to harm Shi Qingxuan? Besides, there were two other heavenly officials accompanying them, so having Shi Qingxuan go back with them was the safest option. How could outsiders continue to interfere when family showed up?

That Wind Master fan laid broken in two on the ground, without anyone caring. Ling Wen picked it up, speaking to Xie Lian and Ming Yi.

"Your highness, Lord Earth Master, please don't be offended. Lord Water Master is only mad from worry. This affair is personal, and personal scandals shan't be publicized, so pray My Lords keep this to yourselves. He will for sure make amends when this is settled."

After a few more courteous words, Ling Wen also boarded the carriage hastily. That golden carriage rose in the air, rumbling, then flew off. It was only after watching that stream of propitious clouds gradually disappear in the night sky that it finally hit Xie Lian: the Water Master really did take the Wind Master away, just like that. As for them, after running around for so long, they were really left behind, just like that.

Ming Yi turned around and was about to leave when Xie Lian snapped out of it and exclaimed, "Lord Earth Master!"

Ming Yi paused in his step. He turned his head and looked at him meaningfully before he said, "Relax. I won't say anything about Hua Cheng."

Xie Lian let out a breath of relief and said, "Thank you. Are you going to go check up on Lord Wind Master?"

Ming Yi nodded once, and turned back around to continue on his way. Although Xie Lian was also very worried about the Wind Master, still, all the medical heavenly officials in the Upper Court were going to be more of a help than he would be. Besides, Shi Wudu would for sure not want any outsiders to witness his brother's madness; given that, it wasn't the right time to pay a visit right now. Actually, Hua Cheng's sudden departure was more of a concern. After some consideration, Xie Lian decided to go find Hua Cheng first. Making up his mind, Xie Lian left the Terrace of Cascading Wine, and speedily began his overnight journey.

Unable to use the Distance-Shortening array, and without a golden carriage of burnished horses, Xie Lian could only depend on his pair of legs, sprinting through the mountain paths.

As he ran, he thought, "What kind of situation could San Lang possibly run into? His expression and tone of voice earlier made it seem like it was something serious. Hopefully, I'll be able to give him a hand this time."

It wasn't even an incense time before suddenly, he noticed the roads ahead of him were thick with the essence of evil. Visibility heavily reduced, Xie Lian slowed his pace and thought, "No way. What is it now?"

He stood on the side of the road to watch and observe quietly. A while later, from the thick of that essence of evil came a bizarre work song.

"YI YU XI, YI YU XI¹."

"YI YU XI, YI YU XI."

At the end of the road ahead, a giant black silhouette hazily appeared.

It was black and large, with some shadows floating about, but Xie Lian couldn't tell just what it was. He had never seen anything with that shape, but it was for sure something quite big. Subconsciously, he took a step back in alarm; the Ruoye on his left arm ready to attack, he rested his right hand on Fangxin's hilt.

Soon after, that giant thing showed its true form from the mist. Xie Lian's eyes slightly widened. Turns out, it was a glamourous step-litter².

That step-litter was exceedingly extravagant. From its golden canopy hung exquisite and featherlight satin veils; should anyone be enthroned within, they would for sure be shrouded within the expanse of enchanting crimson drapes, obscuring their silhouette and leaving much to the imagination. The porters carrying that step-litter were four golden skeletons with abnormally large bone structures. They hollered their work song, "YI YU XI", "YI YU XI", as they made way. Next to every skeleton floated small languid swirls of ghost fires, twirling about, presumably used for illumination; whenever they came to a darker area, the ghost fires would burn brighter.

The sight was too strange, too bizarre and demonic, and Xie Lian couldn't help but stare; wondering if he ran into some ghost lady out to meet a lover on a date. He hurriedly backed further onto the side of the road to give way. Unexpectedly, however, those four golden skeletons carrying the step-litter stopped in front of him and each turned their skulls towards him.

One of the golden skeletons' jaw bones crackled, and out came a sound from who knows where. It spoke with a quivering voice:

"Lord Chengzhu³ sent us to receive the Crown Prince of Xianle. Is My Lord Your Highness?"

"…"

Lord Chengzhu could be no other but Hua Cheng. Xie Lian removed his hand from the hilt of the sword and answered.

"That's me."

Crackle crackle. The skeletons seemed to be rejoicing, and lowered the step-litter.

"Please board, let's go!"

Were the four golden skeletons going to carry him to go see Hua Cheng? Xie Lian said reluctantly, "That's…too much trouble."

"Nonsense. It's no trouble at all, this is our job."

"Your highness, please board! Lord Chengzhu is waiting for you."

Thus, Xie Lian carefully stepped onto the platform, lifted the veil and seated himself within.

"Thanks for the trouble."

The golden skeletons were ecstatic, crackling and saying something incomprehensible. They picked up the step-litter and started bumping along the mountain paths.

That step-litter had upon it a wicker chair sewn with brocade; exceedingly comfortable. Xie Lian sat poised in the centre, feeling that it seemed a bit big for just one person. The step-litter carried by those golden skeletons seemed to be bumpy and wobbly, but when he actually sat down, the ride was quite steady. It moved extremely fast, swifter than flying on a sword. And other than that bizarre work song those golden skeletons enjoyed chanting, it was practically silent; much more so than that rumbling golden carriage with burnished horses, and even more mysterious.

In the past, when Xie Lian was still a crown prince, he would also ride a step- litter when he went out from time to time. He was much younger back then, and sat on the lap of either his father or mother; the step-litter was carried by specially-chosen palace attendants who would cheer and clamor all around, impressive and imposing. After he got bigger, he didn't enjoy it as much anymore. Nevertheless, this was his first time being transported by those creatures, so still he couldn't help but be amazed.

After traveling for a while, he suddenly sensed a band of green ghost fires ahead. Their wispy light shimmered through the veil, and quiet chatter came wafting in the air.

"Who goes there? Shouldn't ya be leavin' somethin' behind, crossin' thru this burial ground?"

It seemed they ran into road-blocking feral ghosts. Shadows eating shadows, ghosts devouring ghosts, yet they even dared provoke Hua Cheng? Those skeletons crackled and laughed.

"What do you want us to leave behind?"

Xie Lian was just contemplating whether he should show his face and deal with this when he heard those tiny voices shriek.

"AIYOYOYOYO FORGIVE US! Our shitty eyes be blind an' didn't realize this was the step-litter of our ol' lord Hua Cheng! Git back to the burials, git back! My Lords please pass as ya will. My Lords are generous, please pass as ya will!"

Those golden skeletons said, "Too late, too late, Lord Chengzhu has given clear instructions that the highness seated in this step-litter shall not be offended. Now that His Highness has been delayed, why don't y'all tell us what shall be done!"

Wails and devilish cries howled all around. Xie Lian couldn't stand it anymore, and said, "Um, forget it. Since we're in a rush, just let this go."

Those skeletons said, "Since His Highness says so, then we shall let them go. Y'all got off easy!"

Xie Lian added, "However, do keep in mind to never block the roads in the future, and do not harm travelers."

The feral ghosts rejoiced. "Nonono, we swear that's never happened! Thank you, My Lord!"

"Depart!" those skeletons shouted.

As they passed through, Xie Lian faintly heard the babbling of female ghosts, chattering in wonder.

"Hey, who do y'all think is the highness sitting in that litter? I've never heard of Lord Hua's golden step-litter carrying anyone else."

"If it was a lady, then it'd be easy to guess. Yet it's a man. Very strange."

"What's so strange about it?" Xie Lian wondered.

In the next second, he heard those female ghosts say: "Yeah. And here I was so sure that golden litter was definitely for the madam wife!"

—

After having run around for days, while riding in the step-litter, Xie Lian felt drowsy. He used his hand to support his cheek, and dozed off. Another long while passed, and he felt the step-litter stop again.

He mumbled semi-consciously, "What is it?"

He thought they ran into another band of road-blocking feral ghosts. But just as the words left his lips, he felt the step-litter dip, and it was another who had gotten on.

The man lifted the veil and called out lightly, "Gege?"

Xie Lian rubbed his eyes and squinted, looking towards the voice. "San Lang?"

The one who'd come was naturally Hua Cheng. When he saw Xie Lian's half-awake state, bleary-eyed and dazed, he was slightly taken aback. Xie Lian sat up, feeling embarrassed, and cleared his throat.

"I accidentally fell asleep."

Soon after, Hua Cheng smiled and went over to sit too. "Gege is exhausted. I hope gege won't mind if I squeeze in."

Xie Lian nodded and tried to move more to the right, wanting to leave more room for Hua Cheng. But Hua Cheng extended his arm and caught his right shoulder, pulling him back.

"No need. There's enough space."

Truthfully, there wasn't. This step-litter was crafty; too big for one person, too cramped for two, not a perfect fit unless one employed the method from Xie Lian's younger years, and one sat on the lap of the other.

"You left just in time earlier. Three heavenly officials from the Upper Court descended all at once."

Hua Cheng humphed. "Was it the Three Tumours? I already expected it."

Xie Lian laughed teasingly. "Was that the reason why you ran away?"

Hua Cheng replied jokingly too, "No, I went to hail for the carriage. So how is it, gege? Isn't my Infernal Ghost Carriage much more fun than the golden carriage of those heavenly officials in the Upper Court?"

"Yes, it's very fun!" Xie Lian laughed. But when he was reminded of Wind Master's awful state, he couldn't laugh anymore, and became solemn. "By the way, San Lang, what was it that you wanted to tell me earlier?"

Inadvertently, their eyes met. Hua Cheng still had Xie Lian's right shoulder in his grasp, never having let go, as if he was holding him in his embrace. Looking from the outside, only two overlapping silhouettes could be seen within the veils of that step-litter; curled up together, inseparable. Within the red curtains, Hua Cheng smiled.

"Gege, want to get married?"

"…"

"…Huh?" Xie Lian was startled.

Such a gaze, such words, they were in such close quarters with nowhere to run. Instantly, colours exploded in Xie Lian's vision, and his mind went completely blank. His entire person was frozen, stiffer than a corpse.

Seeing his reaction, Hua Cheng took his arm back and snickered. "It's a joke. Did I shock gege?"

"…" It was a good moment before Xie Lian snapped out of it. "…You're too much. How can you joke about something like that?"

It wasn't just shock. He was so rattled his heart almost stopped. And, though he did not realize, there was also a trace of hurt.

Hua Cheng laughed. "My bad."

He stretched out his long legs and crossed them, settling them up front, wiggling his boots. The silver chains clinked against each other, jingling crisply, truly the very image of mischief. If this was before, Xie Lian would think this young man playful and endearing. But now, for some reason, that noise was disrupting his calm, and an unexplained frustration filled his mind.

After feeling shaken for a bit, he couldn't help but think, once more, "How can you joke about something like that…"

However, when he thought about it, there wasn't anything wrong. It was precisely because it didn't mean anything that it could be used as a joke.

Hua Cheng noticed his odd expression, and immediately sat up straight. "Your highness, don't take it to heart. I was in the wrong just now. I won't joke about this ever again."

Seeing that he apologized so solemnly, Xie Lian felt bad. He thought, "Am I stupid? It was only a joke, and nothing serious. Besides, San Lang only said 'want to get married', but he didn't specify to whom, so where did my mind wander off to? Get a hold of yourself! This instant! Right now!!!"

He smacked himself a few times mentally and steadied his spirit before smiling.

"No no no, how are you in the wrong? Don't misunderstand, I was just thinking about Lord Wind Master, so I looked a bit serious."

"Oh?" Hua Cheng said. "Since the Water Tyrant descended too, that affair should be taken care of."

The two were exceedingly cooperative in changing the subject. Xie Lian started to think seriously, and shook his head softly.

"San Lang, do you really think this is all over? Somehow, I think this is only the beginning."

Shi Qingxuan had always admired and respected his older brother, but just as he escaped danger and saw his brother's face, he reacted like that. A horrifying thought entered his mind— could the one who deceived Shi Qingxuan into opening the doors be Shi Wudu?

Although Shi Wudu should've been in the company of Ling Wen and General Pei at the time, still, it wouldn't be difficult for spiritually-powerful heavenly officials to create clones and send them off on errands.

He was just about to keep telling Hua Cheng some of his suspicions and assumptions, when Hua Cheng said, "No. This affair is done and over with."

His tone was firm, and Xie Lian couldn't help but be taken aback.

"San Lang?"

Hua Cheng stared at him intently. "Gege, do you trust me?"

Xie Lian met his eyes and was equally firm. "I do."

Hua Cheng said slowly, "Then, believe me. Stay far away from Wind Master, Water Master, Earth Master, Ling Wen, and Pei Ming. The further away, the better."

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Translator Notes:

¹"YI YU XI" are just meaningless sounds.

²"step-litter": a "litter" is a type of wheelless vehicle; human-powered transport. Palanquins and sedan chairs are categorized as litters, but often have boxed cabins. A step-litter is an open-air platform with a seat/throne, and sometimes (such as in this text) it has a canopy adorned with hanging satin curtains. Step-litters are usually reserved for those with high status.

FYI: Palanquins and sedan chairs are basically the same thing. The name "sedan chair" was used in the west after the palanquin was imported to Europe in the early 16th century.

³"Chengzhu" means Lord Mayor or City Master. That doesn't quite cut it, since Ghost City is more of a city- or fortress-state, and has its own sovereignty. I haven't found any satisfactory English term that'd fully represent Hua Cheng's power and status, so let's just keep Chengzhu