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Heaven Official's Blessing(Tian Guan Ci Fu)

For you, I’ll become invincible! “Have you heard? The rubbish Heaven Official is having an affair with the ghost realm’s number one big shot!” Eight hundred years ago, Xie Lian was the Crown Prince of the Xian Le kingdom; one who was beloved by his citizens and the darling of the world. Unsurprisingly, he ascended to the Heavens at a very young age. Now, eight hundred years later, Xie Lian ascends to the Heavens for the third time as the laughingstock of all three realms. On his first task as a god, he meets a mysterious demon who rules the ghosts and terrifies the Heavens... yet unbeknownst to Xie Lian, this demon king has been paying attention to him for a very, very long time.

peerless_xiong · LGBT+
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56 Chs

ARC 3: No Paths Are Bound [] Chapter 41: The Mid-Autumn Festival, Battling Lanterns on Moon-Watching Night

CLANG!

Sparks flew.

The blade penetrated deep into the stone floor. With both hands gripping the hilt, Xie Lian bowed his head and rested his forehead upon it. His teeth were gritted so hard they could have been ground to powder in his mouth.

"USELESS TRASH!" Qi Rong laughed out loud. "What useless trash! I knew you wouldn't dare kill me! No matter how I humiliate you, no matter how I drag you through the mud, so long as I have a knife to someone else's throat, you can't do a thing to me. You useless coward— what's a god like you still alive for?"

However, Xie Lian had already completely calmed. He looked up, his eyes cold.

"Don't rejoice so soon. I can't do anything to you, but there's someone who can."

Qi Rong humphed. "Are you planning to hug Jun Wu's legs and beg him to help you again? Dream on. Did he care back then? Hmm?! And you still shamelessly follow on his heels. Are you really that stupid?"

Xie Lian peeled that magnificent, stately God-Pleasing costume off of Qi Rong, then he called Ruoye forth and tossed Qi Rong aside once he was bound.

"You better keep your mouth shut."

"I'm not afraid of you. You've got nothing on me!" Qi Rong retorted.

"Well, are you afraid of Hua Cheng?" Xie Lian asked.

Qi Rong's smile froze as Xie Lian threatened quietly.

"Just to give you a heads-up, if one of these days I fall into a bad mood, I might hand you over to Hua Cheng and have him think up a way to deal with you. So watch yourself, you hear me?"

Qi Rong couldn't laugh anymore, not with that threat on the table. Terrified, he cried, "What the fuck?! You're vicious! I can't believe you'd come up with something like that! Why not just hand me over to Lang Qianqiu?!"

Xie Lian knelt on the floor. One by one, he picked up the small, coarse granules from the ground and from under the coffin. Truthfully, for the time being, he wouldn't be delivering Qi Rong to the Upper Court, and the reason for that was specifically Lang Qianqiu. If Xie Lian surrendered Qi Rong, and Lang Qianqiu learned of Qi Rong's whereabouts, Lang Qianqiu would immediately charge in with his sword to kill Qi Rong. Should Qi Rong be killed? That was a headache-inducing question. If he was killed, then what next? Another question that prompted headaches. For the moment, it would be unwise to hand Qi Rong to the Upper Court.

All things considered, requesting Hua Cheng's help certainly sounded like a good idea. But really, Xie Lian was only using Hua Cheng's name to scare Qi Rong a little. After all, he had already troubled Hua Cheng too many times, and whenever something happened, he thought of Hua Cheng first. Doing so yet again almost felt like he was being overly familiar. Even using Hua Cheng's name to scare Qi Rong made Xie Lian feel rather embarrassed.

Qi Rong turned his head and spat a mouthful of blood, and the child reached out pathetically to rub his forehead.

"Dad, are you okay?" he asked. "Does it hurt?"

Qi Rong seemed to greatly enjoy playing this game of father and son, and he responded with singsong derision, "My good son! Daddy is just fine! Ha ha ha."

The rims around Xie Lian's eyes were red as he picked up each of those granules, and he placed them with the utmost care upon the God-Pleasing costume. The child quietly crawled over to help Xie Lian gather them.

Xie Lian saw those little hands and glanced up at him. The child said in a small voice, "Gege, won't you stop beating up my dad? Let us go. We won't steal from you again."

Xie Lian felt a twinge in his heart, but he forced the feeling away. "What's your name, little one?"

"My name is Guzi," the child said.

Xie Lian finished collecting the ashes and wrapped them in the costume's layers, then tied it up neatly before placing the bundle within the coffin anew and closing the cover.

He then slowly replied, "Guzi, that's not your dad, it's someone else. Your dad has been possessed. He's currently a bad guy."

Guzi was only confused by this explanation; he couldn't comprehend what he was being told. "Someone else? No, I recognize him. He's my dad."

Qi Rong commended this response. "Not bad, not bad. I've picked up a cheap son, what a great bargain! Ha ha ha…oof!"

Xie Lian kicked him.

Guzi was still young and had for all his life been dependent on his father, so he was quite attached to the body Qi Rong now possessed and refused to abandon it so easily. Xie Lian couldn't think of a way to manage the situation at the moment. With the sword Fangxin on his back, he solemnly kowtowed thrice toward the two coffins. Then, with Qi Rong dangling from his left hand and Guzi tucked under his right arm, he left Mount Taicang and returned with all speed to Puqi Village.

He had been gone for many days, and it was deep into the night by the time they made it back. The doors to Puqi Shrine were wide open, and clouds of incense rolled out. Upon the altar, the incense burner was stuffed to the brim with fragrant sticks, and the table itself was piled with offerings. Xie Lian swept a look across the altar as he entered, then grabbed two meat buns. He passed one to Guzi and rudely stuffed the other into Qi Rong's mouth. That body was alive, after all. Until Xie Lian figured out how to yank Qi Rong out of the man, he required sustenance.

Qi Rong spat out the meat bun with a curse at its foul taste. With no small bit of worry in his tone, he yelled, "Hey! You won't actually hand me over to Hua Cheng, will you?!"

Xie Lian sneered. "Are you very scared?"

He didn't have time for this nonsense, and he turned around to rummage through his collection of pickle pots.

"Me? Scared?" Qi Rong stubbornly scoffed. "You should be the one who's scared. You're a heavenly official, but you'd dare pal around with a supreme! You…"

While he rambled, his eyes suddenly locked on to something. When Xie Lian bent down, something had peeked out of the front of his robes.

It was that crystal-clear ring. That was what caught Qi Rong's eye.

Qi Rong seemed to be suspicious, though Xie Lian didn't notice his stare. After a moment, Qi Rong asked, "Cousin Crown Prince, what's that thing hanging around your neck?"

Xie Lian had planned on ignoring him, but Qi Rong had brought up something he himself was curious about. He turned around, his finger hooked on the thin silver chain.

"This? Do you know what it is?"

"Bring it here. Let me see, and I'll tell you," Qi Rong beckoned.

"If you know, then say it," Xie Lian replied. "If you don't, then shut up."

"You're always so nasty to the people close to you," Qi Rong grumbled bitterly. "If you're so impressive, why don't you cop an attitude with strangers?"

Xie Lian tucked the silver chain back into the inner layers of his robe, pressing it against his skin as he straightened it.

"If you're so impressive, keep talking. I'll keep count of every word, and each one will take you a step closer to Hua Cheng's blade."

Without realizing it, Xie Lian had somehow grown used to leveraging Hua Cheng's name.

Qi Rong sneered. "Don't you use him to scare me! Maybe one of these days you'll be the one dead under someone else's blade! Don't you wanna know what that thing is? I, who number among the Four Calamities, shall tell you: that's a cursed ornament, an object of misfortune! Throw it out, and quickly. I can't believe you'd keep it on you. Are you that tired of living after hanging around here for so long?"

Hearing this, Xie Lian straightened up immediately. "Is that true?"

"Duh!" Qi Rong said. "I'm telling you, man or ghost, whoever gave that to you must not mean well."

"Oh." Xie Lian squatted down again.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'OH'?!" Qi Rong cried.

Xie Lian didn't bother turning to face him as he calmly responded, " 'Oh' just means that it'd take a miracle for anyone to actually believe the things you say. I choose to believe in the person who gave this to me, and I've decided to keep wearing it."

Xie Lian had always been gentle and courteous to others, but he was exceptionally cold toward Qi Rong. Qi Rong was vexed to death, cussing nonstop, and Xie Lian simply pretended to hear nothing. He realized that he couldn't find the pot that contained Banyue, no matter how thoroughly he looked, and thought, Perhaps the Wind Master already came by to take her away?

As he listened to Qi Rong, he suddenly felt something was off.

Strange. Qi Rong was obviously terrified of Hua Cheng, so why was he still trying to provoke Xie Lian, as if…as if Qi Rong was trying to distract him on purpose!

Realizing this, Xie Lian startled. He shot Qi Rong a glare, and sureenough, he saw the ghost avert his gaze for an instant, looking mighty suspicious. An inexplicable gut feeling made Xie Lian look up. Not too far overhead, he spied a black-clothed man with his back pressed against the ceiling beams, adhered there like a giant bat.

Xie Lian immediately unsheathed Fangxin and hurled the sword up. Back pressed against the beam as it was, the man had to dodge the attack by whirling around and tumbling to the ground.

Guzi dropped his meat bun in fright and wailed. Before Qi Rong could scream too, Ruoye sealed his mouth and dragged him to a corner before binding him anew. At first Xie Lian had thought this was one of Qi Rong's lackeys, but after exchanging a few blows, he noticed this man was fast, aggressive, and oddly familiar. He could say with considerable certainty that at Qi Rong's level of competence, he lacked the power to command such a talented subject. Then he spotted something hugged in the crook of the man's other arm. Upon a closer look, it was a black pot—the very one that contained Banyue!

The Wind Master hadn't taken Banyue away?

Xie Lian instantly deduced who this was and blurted out, "Little Pei!"

It seemed Little Pei had come to steal Banyue, but he'd unexpectedly run into Xie Lian as he returned and had no choice but to hide above on the wooden beam. Because Qi Rong was bound by Ruoye and lying on the ground, he had immediately seen Pei Xiu. Qi Rong didn't know who he was, but if it was something harmful to Xie Lian, he thought it must be beneficial to himself. Qi Rong was afraid Xie Lian would sense someone was lurking and purposely kept trying to distract him with noise, yet somehow Xie Lian still noticed in the end.

Xie Lian bore two cursed shackles and Pei Xiu was in exile; neither had any spiritual power, so they could only fight barehanded. But Xie Lian had fought through his eight hundred years with nothing but his fists, so how could Pei Xiu possibly compare? It didn't take many rounds for Xie Lian to subdue him.

"Give back the pot!"

Xie Lian only shouted that offhandedly, but much to his surprise, Pei Xiu really threw the pickle pot to him. Startled, Xie Lian thought, Is General Pei Junior really this easy to convince, that he'd return the pot simply when asked? Don't we usually have to push each other around a bit longer for this kind of thing?

As Pei Xiu threw the pot, he urged Xie Lian in a desperate, hushed voice, "Hurry and go!"

His tone sounded genuinely anxious. Xie Lian stretched out his hands to catch the pot as it flew at him, but it suddenly changed course and flew out the window. In the next moment, they heard another man's voice coming from some distance away.

"You've really disappointed me."

The colors of Pei Xiu's face changed. "General…!"

He and Xie Lian rushed out of Puqi Shrine. Sure enough, on the roof of a house in the distance stood Pei Ming.

He was dressed in casual attire rather than his usual armor, and he looked exceptionally dashing, standing tall and slender with his confidence bright as the sun. The pot leisurely flew over to Pei Ming, then stopped, floating there. With a relaxed hand resting on the hilt of his sword, he spoke to Pei Xiu, who stood below.

"A man looks at the big picture and puts his career first. You're meant for great things, so what's going on with you? You'd screw yourself over for a little girl? Do you consider yourself such an immature brat?"

Pei Xiu hung his head low and didn't speak.

"You rose to your position in only two hundred years," Pei Ming continued. "Do you think it's that easy for everyone? I paved the road for you. It's easy to go down, but it ain't easy coming back up!"

They say it's lonely at the top, but whenever a god of heaven descended, they usually preferred to find high places to stand; the higher they were, the easier to regally survey all below. Xie Lian himself used to have that awful habit, but after he fell that one time, his leg ached terribly whenever he perched up high. This had quickly put an end to that tendency. All this being said, the tallest building within Puqi Village was the village head's home, and it was a simple tiled-roof house. General Pei really was doing himself a disservice by choosing it as the place to strike a pose.

However, that was beside the point. The point was, with a simple glance, Xie Lian knew exactly what was going on. Previously, Pei Ming had intended to pin blame on Banyue to clear Pei Xiu's name, and Xie Lian had stopped him. When he stood before Jun Wu, Pei Ming appeared to have given up, but he obviously hadn't abandoned the idea.

After that rotten business with the Gilded Banquet got out, Xie Lian could barely take care of himself, and his reputation had no doubt plummeted. General Pei probably thought it was an opportune moment to dredge up old affairs, hence why he was trying to drag both Pei Xiu and Banyue back to the Upper Court to appeal for a new trial. Truly relentless.

However, Pei Xiu didn't seem overly enthusiastic about the prospect, and he only breathed a sigh. "General, let's…just forget about this whole affair."

"You—!" Pei Ming looked speechless and exasperated. He had to be quite frustrated to lecture Pei Xiu without caring about Xie Lian's presence. Moments later, he suddenly declared, "Well, now I have to see what kind of amazing girl could make all my hard work go down the drain."

He reached out, seeming like he planned to shatter the pot. This way of opening it wouldn't normally pose a problem, but the issue was that Xie Lian didn't know whether Banyue's wounds had healed. If they had not, then it would be bad if the pot was opened so violently.

Xie Lian's face dropped and he lunged forward.

"Don't break it!"

Before Pei Ming's hand even touched the thing, the pot unexpectedly exploded by itself with a bang.

The air was choked with the smell of pickles, so strong it could drive any man mad. Pei Ming stood closest to the pot and was unfortunately completely plastered with pickles, and he was utterly flabbergasted by the sudden shower.

The clear, sonorous voice of a woman rang through the air. "General Pei is such an honorable man!"

A white-robed individual whirled out of that small pot. At first, she was only the size of a fist, but the more she flipped, the larger she became.

Xie Lian looked closer and cried, "Lord Wind Master!"

The one concealed in the pickle pot wasn't Banyue—it was Shi Qingxuan! She had hidden in the pot and blown a barrage of pickles at Pei Ming, but she herself had not a single stain on her fluttering white robes.

She landed steadily and swung her whisk. "Thank goodness, thank goodness. Good thing I already sent that little miss to someone else, otherwise she wouldn't have escaped General Pei's far-reaching arm."

Pei Ming prided himself on his charm and maintained good manners in all his endeavors, yet now he stank of pickles. In the face of Shi Qingxuan in female form, he was feeling a little woeful even as he kept up that mannered bearing.

"Qingxuan, why must you antagonize me like this?"

If it were anyone else, Pei Ming probably would've beaten them to a pulp already. But considering Shi Qingxuan's older brother, Pei Ming could do nothing but pick off the pickles. He brushed back his hair and gritted his teeth as he shook his head.

"You. You better not let me find out where you sent that little girl, or I'll certainly pay a personal visit."

The tone of his voice made his meaning clear: daring to take in Banyue meant opposing him, and he planned to seek trouble.

But Shi Qingxuan simply clapped.

"That's easy! It doesn't matter if I tell you where I sent her; I'd love to see you go visit. Listen well: the little miss is currently staying on Mount Yulong, at the Rain Master's mountain retreat! You dare go?"

At her words, the colors of Pei Ming's face changed slightly, and he didn't appear as confident as he had before. He schooled his expression and suddenly grew serious.

"Qingxuan, you're still young. That's why you like to fight over every little thing for the sake of justice. When you get older, you hopefully won't regret the things you're doing now!"

Then he leapt off the roof and disappeared. He actually left in quite a hurry.

Xie Lian felt a little bewildered. He sensed there was some sort of implication in Pei Ming's words, so he asked, "Lord Wind Master, what did he mean…?"

Shi Qingxuan brushed it off. "Nothing but empty threats."

Pei Xiu watched Pei Ming's silhouette disappear before coming over to greet the other two.

"Lord Wind Master, Your Highness."

Shi Qingxuan patted his shoulders. "Little Pei, very honest of you to come stop your general. Take good care of yourself down here and turn over a new leaf. If there's a chance, I'll speak well of you in the Upper Court, don't you worry!"

Pei Xiu was speechless for a moment, but replied, "Thank you, My Lord. However, I can't help but think you've misunderstood. General Pei isn't usually like this. It's only because of what happened in the past that he's overly worried about me. Besides, you also know that Lord Rain Master…"

In the end, Pei Xiu seemed to feel he had said too much after all, so he shook his head and cupped his hands. "Farewell."

The two of them watched him leave, and Xie Lian spoke again.

"Lord Wind Master, the Lord Rain Master you spoke of earlier—was it Rain Master Huang?"

Shi Qingxuan turned back around. "That's right, the Rain Master hasn't changed in centuries. What, someone you know? An acquaintance?"

Xie Lian shook his head and said softly, "Although I haven't had the honor of meeting the Rain Master, I owe a debt, and I am profoundly grateful."

Shi Qingxuan smiled. "Indeed. Even though there aren't many who are acquainted with the Rain Master, those who are have never spoken a bad word. Well, except Pei Ming."

"Is there a quarrel between them?" Xie Lian asked.

"Naturally. Anyone who's hung around the Upper Court for so long has some sort of quarrel or collusion underfoot. Let me tell you, the Rain Master traumatized Pei Ming deeply."

"Traumatized…?" Xie Lian wondered. He had always thought the Lord Rain Master was just someone who worked the fields.

"You know Pei Ming," Shi Qingxuan said. "He's got plenty of descendants, his grand-however-many-sons are everywhere. Before Little Pei, there used to be another Deputy God at the Palace of Ming Guang, and he was also a descendant who was first appointed as general, then ascended."

Xie Lian was amazed. "General Pei sure has many talented descendants."

Not just anyone could turn the art of ascension into an inherited family business.

Shi Qingxuan snapped her fan open and continued.

"He was indeed talented, but he was more or less the same as Pei Ming—powerful and packed with personal problems. That deputy official often stirred up trouble in other people's domains, but no one dared say much because Pei Ming stood behind him. Until one day, he messed around in the vicinity of the former Kingdom of Yushi.

"Holed up deep in the mountains, the Lord Rain Master rarely ventures out and spends the days planting fields—hence that nickname 'Old Farmer of the Deep Mountains, Rain Master Huang.' But who would've thought? The moment the Rain Master emerged, that descendant of Pei Ming's was beaten to a pulp. He was dragged back to the heavens, thrown in front of the Heavenly Emperor, and sentenced to exile."

Why does this story sound so familiar? Xie Lian mused.

"At first Pei Ming thought, 'Exile? Whatever. I'll just fish him back up in a hundred years,'" Shi Qingxuan continued. "But how much can happen in the Mortal Realm in a century? Every year, every day even, new and impressive talents flare to life in a flurry. You can barely keep count. It only took ten years for that deputy official's devotees to turn to a new god, and after fifty years, he was completely forgotten. So after a hundred years, he could no longer be recalled. That young heavenly official with a once￾

-boundless future was no more, his talents wasted. It wasn't until Little Pei came around that Pei Ming found another right hand he liked."

No wonder General Pei was doing everything in his power to restore Little Pei's position—with that precedent, he was afraid Little Pei would be ruined too. All the same, his methods couldn't be considered correct.

Xie Lian mused upon it, then sighed. "The human world."

Shi Qingxuan agreed. "Yeah, you'll always wear down your spiritual power and will to fight if you dally too long in the Mortal Realm."

The pair nodded to themselves. The difference, however, was that Xie Lian nodded unconsciously, whereas Shi Qingxuan was intentionally nodding in an exaggerated manner. After nodding that way for a while, Xie Lian abruptly remembered an incredibly important individual.

"Lang Ying! That child!" he exclaimed.

Too many things had happened all at once; the excitement had been too great, and he had forgotten all about the boy.

"Are you talking about the child you brought back from Paradise Manor?" Shi Qingxuan piped up. "The Heavenly Emperor has seen him, and he's currently at my place. I'll bring him down for you later."

There's still Qi Rong and another child locked up inside Puqi Shrine. I can't let anyone see them, Xie Lian thought. So he replied, "How can I trouble you with that? Why don't I go up instead?"

Shi Qingxuan nodded in delight. "Same difference! Incidentally, it'll be the Mid-Autumn Festival Banquet soon. It's a once-a-year event—you shouldn't miss it! This year my brother will be back for it too. I'll introduce you."

Xie Lian couldn't help but smile at her tone, which brimmed with pride over her elder brother. The Mid-Autumn Festival Banquet, huh…

Every year for the Mid-Autumn Festival, all of heaven held a banquet to celebrate. During the gathering, they gazed down on the Mortal Realm's festivities as entertainment. But besides that, a very important "game" occurred during the banquet, a sort of grand finale to the feast: the Battle of the Lanterns.

Not just anyone could offer a Blessings Lantern. During the Mid-Autumn Festival Banquet, what the gods "battled" over was the number of Blessings Lanterns their devotees offered at their main temple.

Everyone said, "It's only a game," "No need to take it seriously," "We're just playing around, don't mind it." But in reality, how many of them genuinely didn't care? They all pitted themselves against one another, hoping that this year, their devotees would fight hard for them. If there really was someone who didn't compete, it was Jun Wu. This was simply because the Palace of Divine Might always stood victorious, and its lanterns only increased year after year. Thus, Jun Wu was the only heavenly official who truly took this game as a game. As for the rest, they fought not for first place but for second, although even then the competition was fierce.

At the peak of the Palace of Xianle's prominence, it had also been incomparably impressive, standing far ahead of the pack alongside the Palace of Divine Might and leaving other heavenly officials in the dust. Now it'd probably look quite sad. Xie Lian didn't even need to guess exactly how many Blessings Lanterns he would receive: without a doubt, not a single one!

Even though he was sure to make a poor showing, it would still be better if he went. He wasn't like the Rain Master, who had been living as a recluse for centuries. He wasn't like the Earth Master, who had secret assignments to attend to. And he definitely wasn't like the Water Master, who could do whatever he wanted. If he was always a "special case" even though he wasn't anyone of significance—if he refused to attend simply because he didn't feel like it—then after a while, it would inspire resentment and there'd be talk. While Xie Lian thought nothing of gossip, it would only make things difficult for Jun Wu. And so, he accepted Shi Qingxuan's invitation then and there.

"All right. I'll definitely be there when the time comes."

In the days following, Xie Lian was unsuccessful in separating Qi Rong from the body he'd taken, even after trying all sorts of methods, and Qi Rong was growing quite pleased with himself. Thank goodness for Guzi, who didn't mind feeding his "dad," as Xie Lian really didn't feel like cramming things into Qi Rong's mouth day in and day out. On the day of

the Mid-Autumn Festival, Xie Lian drew an array outside Puqi Shrine, locked the door from the outside, left Ruoye behind to keep Qi Rong bound, and reported to the Heavenly Capital.

They say in verse: "White jade capital of the heavens, twelve towers, five cities. The immortal strokes my head, hair bound to receive longevity. The "white jade capital" was, of course, referring to the Heavenly Capital. In preparation for the Mid-Autumn Festival, the Heavenly Capital was wholly refreshed. Other than that, Xie Lian saw a marked increase in armed guards in the streets, corridors, and terraces; they had probably been assigned after Hua Cheng's intrusion. The outdoor banquet was arranged under the moon, and exquisite incense perfumed the propitious ambience. Auspicious clouds drifted in the skies, and blossoms flurried like snow. It was a splendid setting for entertainment and moon watching.

When moon watching in the Mortal Realm, if one were to create a circle by touching one's thumb to their index finger, the moon could fit right in that frame. However, when moon watching in the heavens, the moon hung but a close distance away, looking as though it could be caught in only a few steps. It glistened white, like a giant jade screen. Truly an ethereal sight, impossible to behold in the Mortal Realm.

Needless to say, Jun Wu sat at the head of the banquet. However, there was a hidden, intricate stratagem to the rest of the seating, a methodunderlying the order and position. Taking a seat too close to the front was naturally a no-no, but no heavenly official wanted to be seated too far away either. Xie Lian didn't really care for such pedantic etiquette, but formal attire was another requirement at the Mid-Autumn Banquet—meaning, one had to dress to match the appearance of one's divine statue in the MortalRealm. Xie Lian had not a single divine statue, so he simply wore his white Daoist robe with his bamboo hat hanging on his back. While a little shabby, he really didn't have anything better. Dressing this way was rather conspicuous, so he felt it'd be better to sit somewhere more hidden away.

Just as he found a random corner, he looked up and saw Feng Xin walking his way. Both of them hesitated for a moment before giving each other a slight nod as a greeting.

Feng Xin walked on for a few steps but then doubled back. "What are you doing sitting there?"

Xie Lian thought he had taken the wrong spot and stood. "I thought I could sit anywhere?"

Feng Xin was about to say something more when, far in the distance, Xie Lian saw Shi Qingxuan waving at him from the front of the banquet. Shi Qingxuan was in her female form at the moment, and when Feng Xin turned to look, it was like he had laid eyes on something that unearthed a past trauma. Aghast, he hurried away and left Xie Lian to his own devices.

Shi Qingxuan shouted, "Your Highness, over here!"

The Wind Master was prominently popular in the Upper Court, and thus, naturally, her seat was one of the best, located close to Jun Wu. This wave and call made many heavenly officials look over. Jun Wu had been sitting in silence with his hand supporting his cheek, but now he also noticed Xie Lian and inclined his head toward him. And so, Xie Lian had no choice but to go over.

On the way, he caught no glimpse of Lang Qianqiu, as expected. Apparently, Lang Qianqiu had long since declined his invitation to the Mid-Autumn Banquet in favor of searching for Qi Rong's whereabouts. Shi Qingxuan found Xie Lian a seat right next to her, a spot with excellent feng shui. Xie Lian didn't think it appropriate, but the Wind Master was warmly inviting and also already pushing him down to sit.

"I'll take you to the kid later, after the banquet is over," she said. "He's a little ugly, sure, but very obedient."

Hearing this, Xie Lian could only say his thanks. The one seated next to them was Ming Yi, who sullenly fiddled with a jade cup; the hand playing with that small vessel was surprisingly paler than the cup itself. The color of Ming Yi's face looked healthy enough, so it seemed the injuries he'd received during his imprisonment in Ghost City had healed.

"Lord Earth Master, I trust you've been well," Xie Lian greeted him.

Looking like he didn't want to talk, Ming Yi dipped his head. Shi Qingxuan, however, was the exact opposite. She knew everyone and could say a few words to anyone sitting to the front, back, left, right, and eventhose seated a million miles away. Xie Lian was in awe of how she remembered every heavenly official's name no matter their rank.

Seated next to Xie Lian was a young man of eighteen or nineteen; his nose was tall, his brows deep, and his raven hair slightly curly. Xie Lian didn't know him, and the young man didn't know Xie Lian, so they both felt a little lost as they stared at each other. The awkward staring contest ended after Xie Lian offered a random greeting. Looking around some more, it seemed that Feng Xin and Mu Qing had both taken seats that were as far from each other as possible.

Three heavenly officials were seated directly across from Xie Lian, and they carried on with what seemed to be a very friendly conversation.

On the left was a civil official dressed in black. He was easy and poised in his bearing, and proper and bright in his brow. His fingers gently tapped a regular rhythm on the table as he spoke. His demeanor was calm, at ease, and inexplicably familiar. In the middle was an official with whom Xie Lian was well acquainted, Pei Ming. On the right was a young master robed in white, who languidly fluttered the fan in his hand. The front side of the fan bore the word "shui" for water, and the back was painted with three wavy lines. His brows and eyes quite resembled Shi Qingxuan's, but his expression was one of scornful arrogance. On the surface he appeared to be a gentleman, but his eyes were quite clearly filled with disdain for everyone present. Who else could it be but the Water Tyrant?

Understanding dawned on Xie Lian: they were the Three Tumors.

That black-clad civil official had to be Ling Wen in her most powerful, masculine form, and in it she certainly looked impressively dignified. Those three doled out a colorful variety of praise, complimenting one another to the ends of the earth and heavens, to the point where Shi Qingxuan grumbled continuous complaints under her breath.

"Fake. So fake."

Xie Lian found it rather amusing, however. Just then, he noticed a small, beautiful pavilion with red stage curtains

covering all four of its sides at the front of the banquet tables.

"What's that?"

Shi Qingxuan smiled. "Oh, you don't know? It's a really popular game in the Upper Court. Come, come, just watch, it's starting now!"

As soon as she spoke, the rumble of thunder rolled from beyond the skies. Jun Wu glanced up, then poured a cup of wine and passed it down. As the thunder growled overhead, the seated heavenly officials laughed and hollered, passing around that cup of wine.

"Don't give it to me! Don't give it to me!"

"Pass it to him!"

Xie Lian figured out the general rules by watching the others play. So, it's Drummed Flower Passing.

Trying their best to not spill a single drop, the crowd traded the cup of wine that Jun Wu had sent off. The wine could be given to anyone but could not be passed back to the same person. When the thunder stopped, whoever held the wine cup would be teased for fun…except Xie Lian didn't know what kind of fun awaited the holder of the cup. To Xie Lian, this game wasn't a friendly one. Passing the wine cup to someone could result in them becoming the recipient of ridicule, so most would choose to give it to people with whom they were friendly. But he wasn't close with most of the heavenly officials present, so how could he dare tease others so nonchalantly? At best, he could hand it to the Wind Master, but what if the Wind Master happened to be the one who handed the wine to him?

Best if no one passes it to me, Xie Lian thought. But I might be thinking too highly of myself.

The first round was over before he even finished the thought. Aseveryone had hoped, the wine stopped in Pei Ming's hand. It seemed Pei Ming was used to this, and he downed the cup in one gulp amidst roaring cheers. The officials clapped and hollered.

"Raise it! Raise it!"

In the thick of those cheers, that resplendent pavilion slowly raised itsfour curtains. Upon the platform stood a tall general, his head held high, his stride wide, cutting an exceedingly impressive figure. He didn't seem to notice the heavenly officials below, nor the strange, beautiful scenery beyond the pavilion. He took a few steps and started singing verses, sonorous and fervent.

As it turned out, whoever ended up with the wine cup would be treated to a performance: the pavilion brought forth a random play that had been written about that particular heavenly official in the Mortal Realm and showed it for all to see. Given humanity's deep and abiding love for fabricating wild stories, who knew what kind of outrageous play would be shown? Furthermore, one couldn't know when they'd be picked, so the game was just as thrilling as it was embarrassing.

However, this was also where the fun lay. It had to be said that every one of General Pei's plays were exhilarating simply because the female lead was different every time; sometimes it was a celestial fairy, sometimes a yao, sometimes an unmarried noble lady. Every female lead was more beautiful than the last, and every story more shameless. The heavenly officials watched with relish, eagerly waiting for the female lead to enter the scene. Sure enough, it didn't take long before a lady dressed in black stepped onto the stage, singing like a golden oriole. The two actors sang to each other, the lyrics brazenly flirtatious. The more the crowd watched, the more something didn't feel right, and they started murmuring amongst themselves.

"What's the name of this play?"

"Who's the woman the general is seducing this time?"

Just then, "General Pei" on the stage called out, "Noble Jie—"

Below the stage, both Pei Ming and Ling Wen spat their mouthfuls of wine.

Who else could "Noble Jie" be? "Ling Wen" was Ling Wen's

heavenly title; her proper name was Nangong Jie. The heavenly officials were shocked—had those two really been tangled up in an affair at some point?!

Ling Wen wiped the corner of his lips with a napkin, then said dispassionately, "No need to think on it. It's a fabrication."

While the two in question were both a bit put out, they were fortunately thick-skinned enough. The play's leads continued to yowl to each other on stage, and the two below pretended not to see.

Shi Wudu wouldn't let them off the hook so easily, however. He smiled as he fluttered his fan.

"What an exciting play. Any thoughts, you two?"

"Not really," Ling Wen replied. "This play is old. My divine statues back then weren't like the ones I have now. It's only folklore. Think about it —in folklore, what woman hasn't Ol' Pei tried to seduce?"

Everyone agreed wholeheartedly.

Pei Ming spoke up in his own defense, "Hey, you can't say that. In folklore it's true that I've seduced pretty much everyone, but in this particular case I really haven't. Don't wrong the innocent."

"Well, folklore says I've seduced even more male officials, all told. You don't see me all fidgety, do you?" Ling Wen quipped.

Ling Wen had originally been brought to the heavens via appointment, and folklore claimed she'd accomplished this by seducing another heavenly official. This was also why, at the beginning, the Palace of Ling Wen had been cold and quiet with very few worshippers. During any period of particularly intense objection to her, she was cussed and cursed to the ends of the earth, and some would even throw menstrual linens and bralettes into her donation boxes. If any male officials were similarly whispered about, they'd simply be called "charming" and could take full pleasure in it. Although the situations were similar, the treatment of male and female officials clearly differed, and the consequences were quite different indeed.

As Xie Lian reflected on this, the next round began. Shi Wudu had laughed earlier, but this new round ended on him. In unison, the two Tumors next to him cupped their hands in a congratulatory gesture.

"Instant karma. Take it graciously."

Shi Wudu furrowed his brow for a brief instant, then drank the wine. Those curtains raised once more. Before the curtains had even reached the top, two long trills came from within:

"Wifeyyyyy—"

"Hubbyyyyy—"

Flourishing with affection, the tender voices were filled with sweet, intertwined yearning. Xie Lian witnessed with his own eyes how goosebumps sprouted over half of Shi Wudu and Shi Qingxuan's bodies.

Shi Qingxuan jumped to her feet. "Ge—! Hurry and cut it off!"

Shi Wudu immediately barked, "Drop the curtains! Drop them right now!"

Even without seeing anything, one could easily guess that this play was derived from the folklore that depicted Lord Water Master and Lady Wind Master as husband and wife. When people told stories, tales of love and hatred were always fan favorites. If either feeling was already present, good. If not, even better, because then one could make it all up. The myths that cleaved to orthodox worship of the gods generally consisted of whatever they had actually personally accomplished, but sometimes, when they saw what the mortals came up with for them, the gods had to hand it to people—those were the real myths.

The moment Shi Wudu gave the word, the curtains dropped with a conclusive swish. The heavenly officials in the audience all wanted to laugh but didn't dare to, and they suffered as they held in their mirth.

On the other hand, Xie Lian simply smiled and said, "Lord Wind Master, I didn't know you could call for the curtains to drop."

Shi Qingxuan was still shaking from the trauma as she replied, "Yeah, it's no big deal. Just donate a hundred thousand merits!"

"…"

Xie Lian sat speechless, and the third round began. This time, the thunder didn't rumble for very long, and the wine cup ended up with the young man sitting next to Xie Lian.

Seeing this, the reaction from the crowd of heavenly officials was odd. It wasn't enthusiastic, but it wasn't indifferent; it was like they were very interested in seeing the play but didn't want to be obvious about it. That young man didn't seem too interested in the game, but he still drank the wine. He put down the cup, and the curtains raised once more.

Two stood upon that stage. One was a young general with curly hair like a stone lion's mane, and although exceedingly exaggerated, he stilllooked heroically sprightly—so he was portraying this young heavenly official. The other one had pointy lips and sallow cheeks, and was the very image of a wretched clown as he jumped all over the stage. When the youngman faced the other, the latter would act serious, if still clearly slimy and loathsome. When that young man turned around, the other would pull awful faces and backstab him with a sword. No doubt, this was the role of a despicable two-faced villain.

That clown performed with embellished vigor like it was a silly, comedic play. However, the reactions from the heavenly officials in the audience differed vastly. Xie Lian noticed that the officials in the lower ranks laughed uproariously, while higher-ranking officials like Shi Qingxuan and Shi Wudu frowned wordlessly, not thinking it the least bit amusing. At the same time, he also noticed veins popping on the fists of the young man beside him, and Xie Lian became alarmed. Although he didn't understand the specifics of what was going on onstage, he easily grasped that it was mocking someone. Even if he didn't know who was who, the leads' performances were uncomfortable enough on their own.

Seeing that the young man was on the verge of throwing a fit, Xie Lian took a chopstick from the table and flung it at the rope controlling the curtains. The not-so-sharp chopstick brushed the rope and, surprisingly, slashed it. The curtains dropped noisily, and the officials cried out in shock.

"How can this be?!"

"What's going on?!"

They all looked to Xie Lian, some even rising to their feet as theydid. Xie Lian was about to open his mouth when something exploded next to his ear. It seemed that the young man had shattered the white jade wine cup in his fist.

That play had apparently provoked him, and he tossed away the shards of the jade cup in furious outrage. He sprang onto the table, pushed off with his feet, and barged into that pavilion through the curtains. A number of heavenly officials rushed over to lift the red curtains, but inside it was already empty. The crowd was in an uproar.

"Oh no, oh no, His Highness Qi Ying went down to beat people up again!"

Qi Ying? The Palace of Qi Ying? The Martial God of the West, Quan Yizhen? Xie Lian hurriedly asked Shi Qingxuan, "Lord Wind Master, what's going on? What's with His Highness Qi Ying 'going down to beat people up again'?"

Shi Qingxuan snapped out of it and replied, "Beating people up is just…beating people up. Ahem. You might not believe it, but Qi Ying frequently beats up his own worshippers."

"…"

Well, this was the first time Xie Lian had ever heard of a heavenly official who dared assault their own followers, since that was usually something that would destroy their image in a believer's mind. He wanted to inquire further, but he heard a lower-ranked heavenly official a short distance away speak up in displeasure.

"That Quan really is too immature. Everyone was just having fun. Doesn't he know to play along a little? Who hasn't been picked on? Were General Pei and Ling Wen-zhenjun not teased? Besides, he wasn't even the one being mocked, so why is he so angry?"

"Yeah, he really thinks too highly of himself. Even if he's mad, there's no need to have a fit right this second! This banquet is meant to be fun. No one's here to watch him throw tantrums! Really…"

"All right, all right, a brat is a brat. He's not here anymore; it'll be more fun without him, anyway."

Xie Lian listened to them talk and mulled over their words. The feast was only temporarily disrupted, and Ling Wen seemed to have already sent someone to take care of Quan Yizhen's present engagement. After some officials came out and pacified the crowd, the banquet and games resumed. Thus, the thunder rumbled and the fourth round of Drummed Flower Passing began.

Xie Lian just watched the others play the game at first; he couldn't blend in and was just happy that no one bothered him. Unexpectedly, just as he was about to chat with Shi Qingxuan, a hand suddenly extended and passed him that white jade wine cup.