The Nine-tailed Fox is too sexy to go out in public

The next day, as advised, Jiang Tanmei bursts into their room, with all the energy of a small rabid dog. Wu Yun clutches the soft pillow with a groan and refuses to be roused, so Jiang Tanmei resorts to pulling the comforter off of him and beating him with it.

"Stop, Stop! I refuse to believe this is how a proper young master behaves," Wu Yun says, gripping one end of the comforter, and trying to pull it away from Jiang Tanmei's hands.

"One of the things you'll learn is that a young master always knows how to handle those who disrespect him." The vein at his temple is pulsing violently. Wu Yun hopes that if he continues to annoy him it will burst and kill him.

For his part Lan Tian gets dressed without much fuss, and leaves quietly with Lu Meng. He mouths the word 'behave' at Wu Yun over his shoulder. Wu Yun ignores him.

Wu Yun eventually gets dressed, groaning the entire time. Jiang Tanmei drags him by the sleeve out of the pavilion, through a courtyard, and into another smaller pavilion, that Wu Yun assumes is his personal residence.

He's led into a finely decorated room, with several scrolls hanging by the walls, saying all kinds of nonsense about virtue, nobility, humility and respect for one's elders.

Jiang Tanmei motions him to sit in front of large golden mirror, and sits behind him on his knees.

"The first order of business is that bird's nest on your head. A young master must always look impeccable." Jiang Tanmei rummages through a lacquered box inlaid with a mother of pearl peony and pulls out a dark wooden comb.

As soon as he runs it through a strand of Wu Yun's hair it gets tangled in a knot.

He pulls it through the knot, and Wu Yun screams as if he's trying to scalp him.

Jiang Tanmei ignores his blood-curdling screams with a look of bitter determination and keeps combining Wu Yun's hair until it's smooth and shiny.

"There, you didn't die." he says, with a sigh, after the entire length of hair has been brushed and oiled.

Wu Yun looks at his tear-stained reflection in the mirror with a frown. All that pain only for his hair to lay flat on his head? As he suspected this entire endeavour is a waste of his time.

At least it's over with.

"Now you have to do it up," Jiang Tanmei says pulling open a box filled with hair ornaments.

Wu Yun manages to talk him into at least tying up his hair in a ponytail, so it won't get into his face. He would spend the entire day trying to get his own hair out of his mouth if Jiang Tanmei did it like the loose waterfall of his, with only the top half tied up, and all manner of dangling pins stuck in it.

He still doesn't get out of an ornate silver cuff, and pin with a dangling trail of tiny leaves to secure it all in place.

Jiang Tanmei inspects the finished product with a critical eye, and decides at the last minute to take out a few strands at the front of the tail to frame Wu Yun's face.

"If it wasn't your terrible temper you could actually be called attractive," he says, pulling hair this and that way to make it look the way he wants it to.

"I don't care about how I look," Wu Yun says. Especially if it takes such a long time.

"Oh really? You wouldn't care if your friend thought someone else was better looking than you?" Jiang Tanmei's tone is sly. Wu Yun doesn't understand his implications but he doesn't like them.

"Why would I? Lan Tian can think whatever he wants."

Jiang Tanmei smiles. "If you say so. Now let's get you into some proper clothes."

Getting dressed is another ordeal. Jiang Tanmei wants him to try all manner of robes, each heavier and unwieldy than the last. He stars sweating under the sheer weight of all that brocade fabric and is then scolded by Jiang Tanmei because, "young masters don't sweat!"

Over the next couple of days Wu Yun is tortured by Jiang Tanmei in ever crueler ways.

He has to walk a certain way. Not too fast but not too slow. "Hold your head high. No, not that high, now you just look like a peacock!"

He needs to greet people politely and demurely, friendly but not too familiar. "Don't show your teeth when you smile! It makes you look simple-minded."

There are also several rules for eating, in private 'because you never know who might be watching in the Prince's estate', and in public. He has to hold back his right hand's sleeve with his left hand to keep it from trailing all over the food and getting dirtied.

But, "don't hold it so far back that it shows your whole wrist, do you want people to think you're a man of loose morals?"

It goes on like that for hours, nothing he does is ever right. He collapses onto his bed one night with a frustrated groan.

"I take it lessons with Jiang Tanmei aren't going well?" Lan Tian says, sitting next to him, his smile rueful.

"Apparently everything I do is wrong, and gives the impression that my character is loose and that I'm trying to lure men into my bed," he says. "Whatever that means."

Lan Tian goes mute. Wu Yun has his face turned away, so he doesn't see the red tint of his ears. "Uhm, I don't think that's true."

"That's because you're not a young master," Wu Yun says, throwing his hands in the air. "Young masters are evil, and you are good."

"I am?" Lan Tian asks, happy for some unknown reason.

"Do you think I should brush my hair everyday, walk with my feet perfectly aligned one in front of the other, read several books, and hold boring conversations with people I don't even know just to be polite?"

"Uhm, no. I think you should do whatever you want," Lan Tian answers truthfully.

"Then you're good. It's Jiang Tanmei who's evil." Wu Yun says with finality. "How are things going with Lu Meng? Is he just as annoying as Jiang Tanmei?"

Lan Tian has actually been enjoying his time with Lu Meng, he's a serious person who doesn't mince words. He's been teaching Lan Tian how to spot hidden dangers, and how to use a whip and swords. Most days are tiring, but he finds that he likes learning new things.

Although, "It's been good. But he sometimes starts talking about how I need to keep my eyes on my young master at all times, to ensure his safety. Watch the careful turn of his bird-like wrists, look out for any sort of discomfort in his phoenix eyes, and pay attention to the crane-like curve of his neck." It amuses him to remember these odd conversations. "Somehow I don't think he was talking about you."

"They're awful, the two of them," Wu Yun says, and hides his face in the pillow, determined to have a few minutes of rest before Jiang Tanmei drags him away for more inane lessons.

To Wu Yun's agony, according to Jiang Tanmei he still has a long way to go, before he can pass convincingly as a young master from a respected family.

"Today we are going to work on your calligraphy. Have you been reading the books I gave you?" Jiang Tanmei asks setting several sheets of paper and brushes in a low table in front of Wu Yun.

Wu Yun nods with a glazed look in his eyes. He would have read the books, if they weren't so mind-numbingly dull.

"Copy this poem, from the 'Fountain of Old Poems'," Jiang Tanmei says, pointing at the page.

The poem reads: "We rise at sunrise / We rest at sunset/ We dig wells and drink/ Till our fields and eat; --/ What is the strength of the Emperor to us?"

Wu Yun reads over the words, but they don't make much sense to him. "What does it mean?"

Jiang Tanmei sighs. "Isn't it obvious? It means that the lives of the peasants go on regardless of what the Emperor does. How can the might of the Empire change anything about their daily lives? They are the backbone of our society, the source of our food and water. Whatever the Emperor does, he should always remember who allows him to sit on the throne."

"Aren't those the young masters like you?" Wu Yun, says running his eyes over the stanzas again.

Jiang Tanmei rolls his eyes, and runs the finger under the title of the poem, 'Song of the Peasants'. "No, it's them."

"What about gods? Who allows the Jade Emperor to sit on his throne?"

Jiang Tanmei lets out a sigh of exasperation. "How would I know? Do we even know if the Gods are real? Or do we believe in them because it gives us a sense of control over our own lives? Over our fate? We pray and we give offers, and we hope we can turn the wheel of fate in our favour. Some people claim they have seen the Gods, some philosophers claim they aren't real. Who can know for sure?"

That's a terrible answer, in Wu Yun's opinion. He knows the Jade Emperor is real, he just wants to learn how to kill him.

"Stop looking at me like that, why do you care anyway? In any case, I think it's the same logic. The Emperor sits on the throne because the people allow him to. The Gods sit in the Heavens because we allow them to."

"How do we stop them?" Finally they're getting to somewhere.

"Again with the bizarre questions? How would I know, and more importantly why do you care? Focus on copying the poem, you're wasting time."

Wu Yun sighs and picks up the brush with great effort, he dips it in the inkstone and holds it over the paper, dripping a few blots of black ink.

He starts copying the first stanza and is immediately stopped by Jiang Tanmei.

"What is that, I can't read any of it. And why are your characters so huge? Do you think I have an infinite supply of paper?" He picks a brush and copies the stanza onto another piece of paper, in small, elegant, calligraphy.

"You aren't leaving this table until your calligraphy is at least half as good as mine," Jiang Tanmei says, with an evil glint in his eyes.

The first thing Wu Yun writes down is 'Jiang Tanmei barks like a dog'.

Jiang Tanmei looks over the words with an indifferent expression. "You got the character for Jiang wrong."

Wu Yun can't stand the prospect of being in Jiang Tanmei's presence for even another minute, so he devises a clever scheme. "I'm going to the wash room."

"Are you now?" Jiang Tanmei asks with a suspicious frown.

"Do you want to come with me and check?"

Jiang Tanmei scoffs in disgust and waves him off, Wu Yun takes that as his cue to beat a hasty retreat. He leaves Jiang Tanmei's rooms, but instead of finding the nearest wash room, goes through an open doorway into the sunny courtyard, desperate to feel the breeze on his skin and have a few moments of peace.

He hears the sound of a whip cracking violently in the air, and follows it, happy to put some distance between himself and the odious pavilion where he has been stuck for the past days.

Wu Yun comes upon an empty area of the estate, where not much thought has been given to the landscape. A few practice dummies made of straw and set up in a row, show the abuse of frequent training. The wooden posts surrounding the practice area are all gouged with deep welts from a sword, and the sharp slashes of a whip.

Lan Tian is currently twisting the whip above his head, aiming for one of the posts. He has his robes pooled around his waist, leaving his trim chest bare. Wu Yun has seen him naked before, but he never noticed the play of his lean muscles straining under the smooth surface of his skin. His eyes are focused on the path a drop of sweat trails from Wu Yun's collarbone, all the way down over the grooves of his stomach, only to disappear under the waistline of his robes.

Lan Tian notices him approaching and stills his movements.

Wu Yun keeps his eyes fixed on Lan Tian's golden ones, as he walks towards him.

When they're almost nose to nose, Wu Yun grips the handle of the whip and says, "Let me try."