Sunshine

"So… Now tell me. Why were you holding Tangwen's hands up in the air?" 

Huh? I veered around to Tangwen standing quietly behind me with a hand on my shoulder that was sweating more than a person in the heating room. She was expressed in astonishment and then I spoke. 

That was a relief for me to think that she didn't see my earlier behaviour. What if she had seen and I was dead before I faced her? That's a fair thing conforming to me. I again glanced at Tangwen and deliberately squeezed her hand and brought her to sit beside me. 

"I was checking whether she shaved her hands or not, Mommy?" 

Without a glimpse of Tangwen's sight, I can feel that somehow I embarrassed her. That redness upon her cheeks visually made my Mom keep conciseness in my words. She connected her fingers with trembling actions. 

There I'm, standing in the middle of June, feeling so guilty making an appropriate excuse which might be a cause for someone's embarrassment…

"I hope you won't repeat it once in a time. Got that?" I nodded my head. And moved out of the place to the terrace. The fresh lime-scented breeze got a way in my nose and I followed it aimlessly. 

I must be surprised at this moment but I was relatively quiet, seeing the person leaving her footprints to reach me. I blinked, in seconds she was in front of my hazel eyes. "Tangwen…?" I… Felt like I'm playing the game again. I mean-

The way I felt when I was with Taeng before I saw the hospital room, specifically the faces of my beloved ones. Is this really Tangwen then…? 

"Um…, I'm sorry for making you embarrassed, Tangwen." She said nothing but stood just beside me. With hypnotising eyes, she passed me a soft look with a twinkling smile.

"Um-hmm, I never take your words wrong, Idol." 

I smiled and spun my head towards the bright city resting in front of me. Amazingly designed buildings, years back planted trees that are still living in presents, children chasing each other and their laughter tickling my skin, fresh wind flowing through the city and the way people keep them healthy is what I wished for when I came here for the first time ever… 

"I love this place. But unfortunately, I'm just a guest in Thailand." 

I know I'm gonna leave this place soon…not today but maybe sooner. That stings me cuz I have someone I love here but on my worst days, I never got to meet a glimpse of her sight.

Sunshine, where are you, baby? It's been 13 years now since I saw your funny but gorgeous face. When I was still a member of the Chirapaisarnsakul Family, I was to stay in a mansion of rushed servants, gardeners, private jets, and private ships and if I say I was born with a golden spoon in my mouth. Just a snap of my fingers and the whole world will be beneath my feet. There's nothing which my family couldn't afford. 

And at those times, I met a girl who was the same as me. Born with a golden spoon in her mouth but the way she looks is far away from her privilege standards. She would be often typical to normal. Though I spent 7 years with her, it was still unfortunate for me to not know her name. 

So, I named her Sunshine. But something happened by then and she suddenly shifted to another place… and never came back. I don't know whether she returned or not cuz my family already left the Chirapaisarnsakul family when I was just 10 years old. 

"Few guests are special to some people. They must be treated well."

She said softly just a feeble touch of wind. I slid to her and with bitter, gloomy eyes she announced, 

"Though I'm rich I never got to taste it." 

"My parents would treat me like a step, never approach me, never ask me about my day, and never give me a goodbye kiss while I was off to school. I do see a lot of parents come to see off their kids and give a kiss on their both cheeks. There would be a smile on the kid's parent's face. I was seen like I never existed before."

"No attention toward me, I grew up alone though I got parents. My birthdays would be highlighted through the families but still, I was noticed as a side character. I would wish if I have one person to love me back… But it left me like only a dream." 

I was quiet and dumbfounded to know that even riches have to go through loneliness and dig themselves in the dusk. Nights filled with tears, pillows got wet with your stories, your throat got dried off and your eyes lost the ability to flow water now. 

Let me be that light to shine in your life. Let me be the sunshine of your dusk nights. 

Let me be the shooting star to bring your dreams come true. Let me be your magical witch and take you to the world where you belong. Your life is not so similar to mine but still, it is relatable. 

"You don't have to be rich to taste richness, just a person who can make you happier than ever and can take care of you is enough to say you're rich by spirit." I kept a full stop with a short and soft smile thrown upon her. 

All have their own spoiled stories. Few hits deep into the soul, few sound so funny, and few are permanent memories. The memories where you learn how to love someone equally and treat them like a king, just the way you do to your Father. The memories where you feel a stabbing sensation when a real love truly fails, the case might be a relationship or friendship too, even so, the end sometimes might be not a declared one. Still, there will be traces of your hard work towards it but unfortunately, it's invisible.  

___ 

The next step I forwarded directly to the Chirapaisarnsakul Family party. Held in Mallbase Hall. The entrance was the gateway of heaven, wholly elaborated with the high dashboard showing off the business growth of the Chirapaisarnsakul Family business. Just with a simple glance, I attached my attention to the well-off guys from East and West. Northern guys are so rare. 

Until my eyes fell on his man I was fine but now I'm the one standing at the periphery of the cliff to straight go down the miles away lava. There's a 99.9% chance of it evaporating before I splash in it. 

"Kylan?" 

Why is he here when he is just a student? My Grandfather only invites professional business people but… How did this bastard Kylan come here tonight? When I was about to jump into the ocean of thoughts, a sudden push was given at my back. 

"Mom?... Why did you push me?" 

"Then why were you staring at Kylan?! People will find you weird." 

Just when she kept an end to her conversation I couldn't help myself but to round up with wrinkles around my eyes and brows. How does my Mom know about Kylan?! Or… They had a long back meet behind me. 

"You know about Kylan?" She immediately nodded with a smile. 

"Isn't he your cousin? Kylan Chirapaisarnsakul." She said so calmly but for me it was like a thunderstorm. I couldn't trust my ears and eyes about what I came across tonight. This will forever be stored in my permanent memory. Is he the reason for this party… or is there another one hidden to give me awestruck? I shouldn't say this but I'm living dead then to be curious. 

"Moon. Moon? Moon!" 

"Mom… I'm so confused to understand what's going on here." I never knew that Tangwen's Ex-boyfriend will be my cousin one day. The person who was to be my first backfriend in my high school times now I realized him as my cousin. Somehow there are few more chances of him being chosen as the C.E.O of the C Company. 

I don't know what's running in my Grandfather's brain. I wonder about his decision now but why? Is it necessary that he can choose only Kylan? It can be me too, right…? Haizz, why would he choose a girl who decided to walk away from the Chirapaisarnsakul Family which he built with his sweat and blood? But in reality, she just followed her Father cuz she can sacrifice anything just for a sweet smile on her Father's face. 

"Baby, you will understand everything soon. So now stop thinking." 

I said nothing. She held my elbow and dragged me in. Standing in the middle of the crowd, I seek silence. Looking at the people coming in and walking out, children rounding their parents and giggling behind them. I began gazing at them when a kid abruptly dashed into me.

"Are you okay, Dear? You didn't get hurt, right?" 

A soft voice echoed in my ear and when I got a raise of my eye I found someone unbelievable.