I'm Back Home

[POV:- MOON FOWLER]

I must be trapped in her calm glances at me. Tickling me, crawling my skin down its suffocating nights--the more she flowed in my eyes the worse I was getting evaporating. It's why my palms turned into ponds. 

How can someone's eyes be this fascinating? Least to say only babies have such melting eyes. Her first move towards me--not even let me react with a moment. Another foot in front and lately–soon I realized that… Tangwen's boobs may touch mine… Soon! 

"....W-What's wrong?" My throat got dried off. I may go under suffocation. She said nothing but spoke with her eyes--blinking them twice. There was a reaction to her hand making a flight towards…my collar. Maybe my neck pulled her palm in seconds. Held my collar and a sudden pull.

Changed my whole condition. My whole world, my whole mood and pulled me together. I felt it finally. The final realization of… Love… My hands were caressing her silk as soft hair and another hand was paralyzed, wasn't ready to give support. 

Her lips are soft. No matter how many times I give a description of her lips, I just can't be acknowledging about her lips aside from her demeanour. This is the kiss…I really wished for it. But it was to be a guy, how does it even turn into a girl?

Somehow… I got to know about love… 

"This must be weird but it is what the book says." 

She's wholly ruddy as she has to use more blush. That shines. Marking out my soul to have a clear and closer look at her cute blushing face. 

Brought out a short smile on me. I'm happy to be by your side for the least time. It's the least time 'cause you aren't meant to be in my destiny, Dear Tang… Your name is already written in someone's book, you're surely for not me. 'Cause I already wrote the one's name I wanted to be mentioned in my fate. Tangwen. 

"I know there's no book like that, you just created it by adding this scenery." 

Walked a bit in front though it didn't count much. Made a sudden turn to her and smiled as I realized finally that she was never meant to be in my life. I have no idea why it is pinching me a bit or more than a bit. Tsk! 

Stunned, she looked at me as she was jerked off by a drop of my salt tear. Though there was a smile, I still didn't find control over that voluntary action of my tear. 

"Idol…why are you crying…? Did I bite you accidentally?" 

She cups my face and puffs my lips to check on whether she was pulled to drown in the ocean of my love that she accidentally bitten my lips. Heh. Crazy girl. I may never get to know you better but It's fine that you make me smile at least. 

I wonder how you were with Kylan…? Would you kiss him like this? Would you cup his face like this? Would you often be glued to him as you do with me? Would you, Dear Tang…? I just began wondering now… wondering how you were with someone you name as your Ex when that Ex of yours still hits on you. 

My hands abruptly grabbed her waist and made me sink into her warmth. A warm that may, someone cure my positive thinking, bewrecking my negative thoughts. She's like my pillow, softens my face, hardens my heart, and makes me finely comfortable. It's like I have nothing to worry about anymore as long as I have you in me.

…Dear Tang. 

I began dropping off into coffee poured into your cup,

You smell it and soften it with your warm breath,

You have softened my heart, Sweetheart. 

"Ahem!" Huh? Now the coffee had no way to run off as my thunderstorm-throwing Mom was in front of my feeble eyes!!! Did she… see everything? Two servants, Wide-eyed looking at me, especially hidden behind my Mom… 

But 

Why?!

Well, even Tangwen is hiding behind me! I have to defend myself!! "Talk to Aunt Lilly. I know you can do it, Idol." Your cute smile is like a slime. Which has no use right now, Idiotic Human!! Sheesh, there's no point in regretting now! Wah! 

[Inner Secret Conversation]

"Ok, then I'm leaving my position." Mr. Brain.

"What?! You can't do that, Brain! It's unfair!" Pity Moon. On the floor. 

"Even I'm leaving. I don't wanna get in your own business." Ms. Heart.

"Heart! How can you cheat on me?! It's clearly a backstab guys!" Crybaby Moon~

"Sorry, Brrrrrrrrro." Savage answer. From Mr. Brain and Ms. Heart. 

[To Present Guys!]

Even my tears are worthless here. Cheater Brain and Heart! Cheaters! I again pulled all my attention on my Mom, spotlighting her. She blinked. Her eyes changed! Gah! Such a fierce aura filled right in them, surely I'll have an awesome treatment later. 

"Come in, Moon!" Standing at the door I just pulled my skin together. Make it be ok 'cause I have to fight for my people. Stop being heroic, Moon! 

Yeah right.

"Coming, Mommy~." Like I'm not at all timorous of anything though my heart is throbbing so hard that I can imagine it trying to jump out of my ribcage. Nah, no way. How am I supposed to act smart being a sheepish idiot?!  

"Are you guys really just friends?" Gah! What are those fierce eyes for?! H-how can you even doubt me, Mommy? My legs began shivering hard, my palms must be used for water resources and my face Is a perfect waterfall. I'm perfectly on edge to visit my dead. I glanced here and there and unfortunately discovered Mr. Paul! 

Standing just by me. Looking curiously at me! Holy- "Are you gonna speak, Baby?!" What should I say, Mommy. I'm wholly bursting! 

"Ahem." First clear your throat, it's a basic rule of defending yourself from your Mommy's. "Water please." Wet your throat now as it is the second rule. It keeps you speaking constantly though you know there's no truth in your blabbermouth. Next sit calmly in front of your Mommy, show-off your over confidence. 

Zebra cross your leg over another leg. Both hands on the hip knee. Backbone straight. Now speak your nonsense. C'mon! 1! 2! 3! "It's because…Mommy…I and Tangwen are @#$#@#$$@$$###$#@@##@@&&@$$@#&." Clean saliva! 

"That's what I mean Mom." Perfect ending, even though you don't know what you spouted out. Instant speed! My Mom, sitting with a jaw-dropping face, saliva drooling down her edges of the lips, eyes opened wide and soul is out of existence. 

I deliberately looked at Mr. Paul even though his soul had already left his body. Is it soul leave day? Why are they leaving souls? 

"No one will be as dumb as you. Idiot." 

Shut up, Brain! Wholly brain from drainage! "So that's why you're like this, Moon." Brain! Brain! Don't become like a fool here. Be quiet now. "Okie." Hmm. 

"What? What did you say?" My Mom said coming out of the world into her consciousness. I smiled short and then pronounced, "You know Mom I don't repeat things. Hm." I stood up and looked at Mr. Paul. "Mr. Paul!" Rang into his ears to bring him to his senses. "Huh? What? What happened, Ms. Moon?" 

Don't show your over reaction, Mr. Paul. "Make the preparation for the event!" I immediately turned strict and walked out of the doors loftily interlocking hands at the back. Sounds elegant! "Hehe." I giggled behind their backs later. 

"Laughing? Was everything fine inside?" Tangwen? You didn't even support me nor did you think of standing beside me. Idiotic Human! But I never rely on you nor will I ever, I can take my own things on my shoulders. 

I smiled and said, "At least, I'm not as timid as you, Tangwen." I walked off to the garden being washed by the soft wind and pure water with minerals required for them. How beautiful they are! They are pearls falling off the sky. Like my Dad is blessing them and the sky is shining as bright as my smile. 

I know there's indeed no work to be made a thought before stepping into the garden full of pearls-like 'Sweet Juliette'. Slapping and gently caressing the flowers I walked through, through the past, through the hardships, through suffer and pain, through ache full tears, through everything that vanished after you, …Dad. And today again I'm here after everything passed. 

It was such a long journey without you, Dad… I was halted by a lot of doors but I was only left with one key. 10 feet walls but I only had 6 feet rope to climb and reach you, Dad. There was a long stretch of road, but I was wholly tired and emotional to walk to you. Maybe it was written that I shouldn't catch you, Dad…

Tsk! "Dad, I'm back home." I collapsed on my knees to the ground. Hands resting on my thigh and I was bowing to my… Dad's grave. Special rounded in the middle of the 'Sweet Juliette' garden as he planted them and wanted to live or die or sink in them. Learn and understand them from the inside, not from the outside looks. 

I looked at the house, where me and Dad would come to make our Saturday a beautiful day. "Our sweet home. I'm back, Dad." That's how everything ended. 

But it shouldn't have been this way… Not at all.

—--

"Thank you for the luscious food, Paul. We'll be leaving soon." My Mom thanked Mr. Paul when I was sitting at my Dad's grave, caressing his grave. We didn't offer any flowers as my Dad already had his flowers. "Are you happy, Dad?" I said. 

"It would be better if you were alive, making me utter while refreshing these flowers' beauty." I stood and walked away. 

Standing at the window of the car. I calmly stared into the window but not through it. It's somehow dull. "Get in, Baby." I deliberately raised my eyes at her. They were ruddy. She might have cried… but I didn't feel any emotion…Why? Am…I actually stone-hearted as my Uncle Prasong Chirapaisarnsakul would say? 

"Nnn." I might not be too. Why do I have to think this way? "Baby! What happened to you? Why weren't you answering me, Baby." I miss the past, Mom. 

It's like I was never meant to be in the past. Where I could at least find peace… a piece out of this chaos. Why do these hardships have to be carried by me?! 

"M-Moon, why are you crying, baby?" 

"Mom, I'm not a good daughter. I couldn't save Dad for you. How can I even save you, Mommy." I wanna cry until my nerves brush out and get buried into the ground. How am I supposed to be without my Dad?! I didn't even cry when my Dad laid helplessly in front of my eyes. How stone-hearted am I?! Am I even supposed to be a good daughter? I must die rather than live this hopeless life!

"Mom, what did we do wrong? Why does this all have to happen to us?" 

"Calm down, Baby. We did no wrong. Forget the past dear, c-can you? Um?" 

Mom… is she crying?