53 Chapter 53
She stood in her spot like a robot. What was he doing here? What did he want? She felt her body frozen.
Seeing Ananya rooted to her spot he strolled towards her.
The father's heart pounded as he walked. This was the moment he had both yearned for and dreaded. He had only recently discovered that he had a firstborn, a child he never knew existed. And now, here he was, about to meet her for the first time, but as a grown-up lady.
He managed to say, his voice thick with emotion. "Ananya, I... I'm your father."
"Ananya, I..." Dibakar couldn't find words to say. The girl in front of him seemed lifeless, tired. Her exhausted face was proof of her sleeplessness. He felt a pang in her chest. His daughter she is. His blood, his little daughter.
"I know, you are my..."
"Stop, right there, please," she finally asked, her voice laced with a mix of vulnerability and accusation. "Why now?"
"Ananya I know you are not exactly happy to see me but beta..."
Ananya couldn't hear what he was saying, her vision went blurred.
"I didn't know," he whispered, his voice filled with regret. "I only recently discovered that you existed. Your mother and I... we were separated before you were born. She never told me about you."
"Ananya," Dibakar looked with concern as Ananya sat on the chair holding her head. Ananya stretched her hand to stop him from coming any closer.
"I'm fine, please can we talk later?" Her weak voice came out.
"Of course, but..." Before he could finish Ananya ran out and went straight to the washroom. Bile rose in her mouth. She vomited her entire breakfast. She returned to her office. Suddenly she felt breathless. Her hands trembled as she clutches her chest, desperately trying to catch her breath. She moves frantically, her eyes darting around the room as if searching for an escape. The sound of her heart pounding becomes increasingly audible, emphasizing her growing panic.
Ananya rushed towards the window, yanking the curtains apart, hoping the fresh air will alleviate her distress. But instead, the outside world seems overwhelming, filled with people and noises that only intensify her panic.
It's too much. It's all too much.
Ananya collapsed to the floor, her legs giving way beneath her. She clutched her head, fingers entwined in her hair, desperate for relief from the racing thoughts.
Ananya's face revealed her wide, tear-filled eyes and sweat-soaked forehead. Her breaths came in ragged gasps, echoing the panic raging within her. The room started to spin and sounds blended into an indistinguishable cacophony. Ananya curled into a fetal position, her body trembling uncontrollably. The panic attack took hold, consuming her completely.
There was a knock on her office and the next moment Avinash entered the office.
"Ananya, there is this file, make a data..." Avinash got stuck with his words as he noticed the fragile figure in the corner of the room. Her low sobs along with hiccups filled his ears.
"Ananya, hey, hey?" Avinash said soothingly while rubbing her back gently. "What happened, dear?" Ananya kept on crying like a kid, detached from the outer world.
It didn't take time for Avinash to understand that she was having a panic attack. He was stunned to see the usually smiling, happy-looking, attentive, dedicated girl in such a vulnerable condition. Though they didn't have much interaction except for official work for the past some months they are working together in this office like a family. He felt a pang in his heart seeing her devasted condition.
"Ananya" he started caressing her head very gently. "Look at me, ok?" He tried to make her look at him. Finally, she looked up with a little force.
"Ananya, I'm here with you. You're not alone. Focus on my voice. Take slow breaths with me, okay? Inhale deeply through your nose, and exhale slowly through your mouth."
Ananya tried to follow Avinash's guidance, but her breaths remained shallow and erratic.
"It's okay, Ananya. I understand how frightening this is, but I want you to know that you're not alone. We'll get through this together. Let's try breathing together again. Inhale deeply, and exhale slowly."
Avinash modelled the breath for Ananya, inhaling and exhaling slowly. After a few moments, Ananya starts to synchronize her breaths with him, finding a rhythm.
"That's it, Ananya. Just keep focusing on your breath. Inhale... and exhale. We'll take it one breath at a time."
Avinash maintained eye contact with Ananya, offering a calm and steady presence. He spoke with genuine concern and empathy.
Slowly, her body started to ease. Her sense started returning.
"Now drink this." A glass of water was held in front of her face by Avinash. With shaking hands, she took the glass and drank it whole. " Feeling better?"
"Yes Sir. Thank you" She spoke trembling, still not totally over everything.
" No problem. I advice you to go home today. No need to work today. I will talk to Arjun."
"No please, Sir, I will talk to him."
" Ok, as you wish. But please take rest."
Avinash left while a lonely girl started a fight within herself to be strong, again.
*****
"Here, this is my resignation letter. I understood I am really not eligible anymore for the job. Maybe someone deserving should get it. I am just blocking a position." Ananya said in a calm, composed voice while standing in front of her boss.
His fingers which were typing stopped on his way and looked up at the girl in front of him.
"Good day, sir." With that, she left his office and he didn't call her back. As she exited her control snapped. She might have totally lost him. He couldn't even tolerate her in the same room.
Arjun picked up the resignation letter but there was another letter attached to it which caught his attention.
Dear Arjun,
I know you are hurt, angry, and heartbroken and it's breaking my heart every day and night that I am the reason causing it. And nothing can justify my misdeeds. Even if I apologize a hundred times it wouldn't hurt less. I betrayed you. But trust me I wasn't lying when I said that I love you. I know you felt deprived but since that day not once you were away from my mind. I feared that you would leave me once you know. I tried to tell you at first but I couldn't. And when I realized my feelings for you there was no stopping for me. I thought there was no need for me to tell you as by that time I was already in love with you. But see my bad fortune, it came out when I thought everything was going well, it shattered again. Would you be able to forgive me ever? Could you love me ever again?
Hope one day you find it within yourself to forgive me.
With love
Your Anu
*****
"Anuradha please, listen to me..."
"How could you, Baba? After knowing how much I loved him, how could you do this to me? And here I thought he betrayed all along. I cursed him, hated him, accused him. But all along you were the villain here, my own father. I will never forgive you. You destroyed my life." Anuradha burst out in anger. She was burning with rage. She felt so betrayed by her most loved people whom she used to trust blindly.
"Anu beta, how I destroyed your life. You got such a good husband like Dinesh..."
"To hell with your Dinesh."
Little Arjun flinched seeing her mother's furious condition from behind the door. He had never seen his mother so mad. She was always so gentle and loving. His mother loved him the most.
"I hate you. You threatened someone's life. How could stoop so low? You are an awful person. You are terrible. You are selfish, terrible. I hate you. I hate Dinesh. I hate all of you. I don't even feel like seeing your face. From today you are no one to me."
With that Anuradha turned to leave but her father stopped her holding her hand. Her father's eyes were filled with guilt and sadness.
"Anuradha, please, where are you going?"
"I'm going to him. I'm going to the person who deserved me."
Her father's eyes widened with shock.
"Anu, don't do this. Dinesh loves you so much. Think about Arjun." Her father urged her with desperation.
"I don't care. I don't care about anything. And don't touch me. I'm not your daughter. Think, your daughter is dead." Anuradha jerked away his father's hand and left without looking back that night.
Arjun saw her mother rush out. His little body was shivering from all the shouting. Tears rolled down his innocent tiny face.
"Mumma, mumma." He cried out suddenly. Don't go, Mumma. I couldn't sleep with you." His little foot started moving in small steps. But by that time his mother left. He started sobbing.
"Mam...ma", he started to hiccup while sobbing. Fear struck him hard as his mother's car left the premise. His little body fell at the stairs as a cry escape his lips.
"Mummaaa"
Arjun jerked up in his bed, sweating and panting. She left. His mother left him, that day. She left him and his Daddy for someone else. And she never returned. She didn't care. She didn't love them. She just abandoned them. But he loved her. He loved his mother so much. he felt a pain in his chest.
He didn't know why after all these years that night, that old scar returned to haunt her.
He left the bed and came out on the balcony. He looked at the night sky. Looking at the dark sky adorned with tiny stars, he cried. He cried like a kid, a lonely kid. As if his mother was hidden somewhere there and could see him from there.
You don't care, Mumma. You don't love Mumma. Why? Why did you leave me? Why didn't you take me with you? Please I want to hug you once. Just one time, please Mamma. Just kiss me one last time, just caress my hair with your fingers. It felt so good to hold you. Why did you leave? I love you. I miss you so much. No one cares Mamma. No one loves. Everyone lies. Everyone leaves.
*****
Two days passed away in torture. Nothing but two persons filled Ananya's mind. Along with that came the loss, guilt, and a feeling of an unhealthy void that something so important was missing. She couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't even sit for a moment.
Finally, Neha pursued her to come out of her shell and that's why they found herself sitting at a cafe with cold coffee.
"Anu yaar, are you just going to brood your whole life," Neha said with a little annoyance. She knew what her friend was going through but she needed to give her a pass
"What should I do then?" Ananya asked with a tired voice.
"Do anything that makes you happy," Neha said to her best friend.
"Currently the only thing I am feeling is that I am having a severe mid-life crisis. I have no job, no relationship. My marriage broke. My boyfriend broke up with me due to my stupidity. My boss thinks I'm useless. People hate me, I hate people. Absolutely no purpose in life." Ananya completed with a long sigh.
"Well, that's a long list," Neha said in her understanding tone.
"So what's the plan now, then?"
Ananya looked up at her best friend. "No plan."
"You know what? I think you need a break. Let's go to the club tonight. Have some fun. Both of us need it."
"What happened to you? " Ananya asked raising her one brow at her. But she got an idea of what it could be.
"Having trouble with Vishal?" Neha's silence on the matter gave her all the answers.
"Neha..."
"Don't even start on the matter. I don't want to talk about him." Neha said interrupting her.
"Ok, no comment. Let's go dancing tonight."
"Ahh, now you came on the right track," Neha said feeling happy a little.
"Sir, sir", the slightly loud tone pushed him from his thoughts. He looked strategy with a grim expression and felt a little embarrassed for zoning out from his meeting. He realized for the whole he heard nothing except for the first 1-2 minutes.
"Uhm, let's take a break. We'll continue this after lunch." Spitting out the order he went straight into the washroom.
It's all her fault. She's just not leaving him even leaving the office, clinging like a leech. He looked in the mirror. His face looked tired, worn out well he rarely had sleep last night.
"Can you just leave me alone, Ananya Roy? It's getting irritating now. Just take your damn thoughts with you. Stop bothering me." He whispered in the empty washroom. If anyone sees him now they will think he's gone mad, talking to himself.
No, he needed to just vent out everything. He dialled Vishal's number asking to meet him for a drink. He cancelled the meetings for the day.
The two broken-hearted friends spent their time together. Both were consumed in sorrow and couldn't decide who should console whom. They ended up in the bar at the end.
"Why would you fire her for these, man?", Vishal asked with a bit of disappointment.
"I didn't fire her, she resigned. It was her decision. You don't expect me to fall on my knees and ask her to stay." Arjun said while ending his glass in a go. He put the glass with a thud. He was agitated but Vishal's question increased his annoyance.
"Ok, relax. I was just.." at that time his eyes fell on two figures entering the club. His eyes got particularly stuck on the one in blue. Arjun followed his friend's gaze. He couldn't help but stare at the girl in green.
She was wearing a green Maggie top with jeans. Her curls were falling around her head in the most natural way beautifying her face like they are the most innocent things. But as soon as he remembered the dark deceiving mind behind her soul-shattering beauty he turned his face in resentment. She didn't deserve his admiration.
Both of the girls took some light drinks and started seeping. Though they were here to enjoy, but they were far from enjoying. Neha danced a little. Ananya felt staring at her back but when she looked back she found none. After some time both of them decided to leave because all the noise of the bar and the crowd were turning them more restless rather than feeling relaxed.
" Ananya, do you think we are getting unsocial? Coming here was a bad idea. Too much excitement among people is making me want to punch their faces. Let's leave. I think we need to sleep. Lots of, lots of sleep. Sleep and let the whole world go to hell."
Yeah, sleep is, the solution to every problem. But even sleep was avoiding her these days. Ananya thought bitterly.
"We'll leave after I return from the washroom, ok?" I nodded at her. Is there anything that can give me little peace? As she turned a little her eyes fell on the handsome grumpy-looking face.
"Neha" A voice spoke out as she came out of the washroom. Her mind filled with rage in an instant seeing the person standing before him. "Who was the guy you were dancing with?" He asked feeling pain. He felt so sad seeing her dancing with someone else.
"Seems like you have made it a habit to come to the ladies' room and do some life-changing thing. So, tell me what is it this time? Maybe finding new love after breaking someone else's love." Neha spat out while glaring at him.
"Neha, could you just listen to me once? I know I fucked up." Vishal said feeling the same guilt surfacing. Neha had broken up with him. Since then he was a mess.
"Oh, no, no, no. You didn't, It's me who fucked up. I fucked up my best friend's life. But you should get the best friend of the year award." Neha said with bitterness. She was about to leave but Vishal held her wrist and pinned her to the wall.
"Don't you love me anymore?" Vishal asked pleadingly.
"I don't know. Just leave me alone. You couldn't wait a day and rushed to destroy everything. I hate you." Neha whispered not looking at his eyes. Vishal moved his face to look into her eyes but Neha pushed him away. Vishal again stopped her holding her wrist.
"I'm sorry. Please come back to me."
"Arjun ", the soft soothing voice made his heart beat faster. It felt like an eternity since he heard this voice last time. The voice he had started to hate and yearn for at the same time. He tightened his palm around the glass. But his face remained emotionless.
"How are you?" Her same pretending voice sounded again.
"I was fine until you decided to come here." His cold distant voice pierced her heart. She knew she messed up badly.
"You don't hate me that much, do you?" Did her voice sound broken? But they are the same voice that can lie without care.
"Would you like a drink? I wouldn't mind offering you. Maybe then you will stop opening your mouth." His mocking tone hit her. The bartender gazed at her. Arjun's tone was quite loud for at least four-five people to hear around them. She felt embarrassed a little but decided to ignore their judgemental gaze.
Arjun stood up and rushed out before she could say anything. But she followed him outside.
A soft hand clung to his harm making him stop on his way. Leaving a sigh he turned to face a pair of teary eyes. In the darkness of the night, her eyes glittered under the lamppost. For a moment he got lost in them. His eyes dragged down to her lips. They looked so tempting, like waiting to be caressed, to be kissed. The top she was wearing left her bare neck, and her provocative chest until it ended in the deep valley getting lost under her top. Her deep curls, his fingers itched to touch them, to blend in them. The emotions he was trying to avoid were surfacing again. Maybe because he was a little drunk at the moment or it was just her he can't resist.
"I missed you." She said again.
Arjun started moving towards her backing her into the nearest wall. His palm touched her cheeks slowly. At that moment there was nothing that matters or exist, only them. In the darkness, he neared his lips towards her. Their breath mingled with each other.
Ananya understood he was going to kiss her though they needed to talk. But she didn't care at the moment. She waited excitedly in anticipation closing her eyes. But the kiss never came. Instead, she felt a warm wet sensation in her collarbone.
He slid his left hand holding her by her neck. It's like he wanted to choke her to death. His hold was firm but enough to keep her breathing.
His right hand hovered over her skin below her top. She was stunned by his dominant behaviour but also there was this weird sensation that was not letting her resist him. She sucked in the air, feeling goosebumps and tingles erupt all over her skin from his gesture. She shivered feeling his touch.
"Arjun ", the only word she managed to breathe out. He bite her in the neck followed by pinching in the stomach. His rough gesture resulted in her coming out of the sensation.
"I feel like killing you so you could never extend your shrewd tricks to anyone. People should be cautious of women like you. I am glad Rahul got rid of the right moment which I failed to do", he hissed each word.
His words sounded poisonous snatching her life a little by little. She knew Arjun was drunk and it was his drunken self talking though they didn't hurt any less. Silent tears stung her eyes.
"Arjun, you are drunk. I think we should talk later." She pushed him away finally and tried to move away but Arjun pulled her back in his embrace. He gripped her both hands tightly behind her back making her shudder in pain.
"Trouble in paradise, honey? Can't handle me anymore? Good, I might be a little expensive for you. You can't afford me." He muttered with such hatred she couldn't believe it at first. Is this the man who was madly in love with her some time back?
He let her go with such force she might have fallen if not for the wall to support her. This time Ananya felt anger. He was insulting her. His eyes were cold, emotionless. The darkness in them showed such depth it scared her. She never thought he could be this cruel with words.
Tears came bursting out. But she didn't want to show her weakness anymore to this Arjun. Or else she wouldn't be able to hold back anymore.
She saw Neha coming out of the club followed by Vishal. Neha looked upset. She came and left taking Ananya's hand leaving to men behind.
"What happened here?" Vishal asked Arjun noticing his cold gloomy face.
"Couldn't control your hormones seeing ex-girlfriend that you left your best friend to alone?" Arjun said tauntingly and flounced into his car. Vishal followed before his exasperated could leave without him.
Neha noticed her friend's teary eyes.
"You ok?"
"I don't know Neha. I just don't know." She almost choked on her words.
"I don't know how to fix everything. I have messed up really badly. He hates me so much. It's unbearable, painful. When Rahul left me, he just left. But Arjun was a whole different case. I started loving him. I was so ready to move on with him finally. But my one mistake destroyed everything." She rested her head by her palms. The burdens in her head made it impossible to remain straight.
Ananya's tear-stained face and her breakdown made Neha feel guilty once again. If only her dump, stupid horrendous mouth knew what to say or whatnot her best friend wouldn't have been in this condition. She knew Anu doesn't blame her, but it was her fault indeed. She finally found her true love and she destroyed that for her.
"I'm sorry ", Neha muttered.
Ananya looked up at her friend.
"Neha, I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty."
"I know but I can't help," Neha said looking at the darkness ahead.
Ananya rested her head on Neha's shoulder and Neha followed leaning her head. Two friends found comfort in each other. They both have messed up and both were responsible somehow for what happened in each other's life. But the only thing they knew was that they would mend it between them. As for others, they were not sure.
After two days after the club incident, Ananya got a call.
"Hello, Reena here, from DRS Empires. Am I talking to Ms Ananya Roy?" A polite female voice sounded.
"Yes", Ananya answered back confusedly.
"Mr Singhania has politely suggested you join back the office. According to the contract signed by you during your joining, you still have time before you can leave. So from tomorrow, you have to come to the office otherwise there might be legal issues for you." This time rather than sounding polite it looked like the girl just blabbered out all the words like a robot. She rolled her eyes at the 'politely suggested' part.
Not getting any response, the woman asked again, "Hello?"
"Yeah, I am there. Ok, I will after all I don't want to face legal issues." She uttered with a slight sarcasm. She didn't know what made Arjun suddenly ask or rather politely suggesting her to join back. But she's gonna seize this opportunity. Last time she left out of her impulsiveness but this time she was going to keep her patience.
