59 Chapter fifty-nine: The start of the real pain

When he got a call from Stacey earlier, he told me he would talk to her and ask her what was the important thing that she couldn't wait until the next day. When he left, I started thinking about all the possible things she wanted to discuss with him. 

It also crossed my mind that maybe she would ask for his forgiveness and start a new life away from him or maybe start a new life together with him... again. And since I don't know what Gabriel's true feelings are for her, my head hurts thinking what they might do.

I waited for him until eleven last night, but he didn't come home. I tried to call him until this morning but he didn't pick up my call.

And exactly at nine this morning, he finally came home. But something has changed in him. His eyes have become colder than usual or even colder than the first day I met him. He looked more serious and had a deep frown on his forehead. And if you looked closer, there were deep bags around his eyes. 

"Gab."

I tried to greet him in a cheerful voice, but he just ignored me. He walked past me without even giving me a single glance. I also noticed the stain on his shirt and the smell of alcohol emanating from him. 

-'What happened to him?'-

I frowned and followed him into his mini-bar inside the house. 

"Gabriel."

"Leave me alone, Madi. Not now."

I gasped when I heard him called me 'Madi' again. His voice held seriousness and irritation. 

"But I just want to know---"

"Please, Madielyn! Not now! Just please leave me alone!"

My hand automatically lifted to my chest as I gulped at a sudden ache that crept inside me. I just wanted to know if he already had breakfast this morning before he drinking. I couldn't but help wonder what happened to their talk yesterday? Was it that bad.. why did he come home in that state? Why did it seem like the whole world was on his shoulders? 

He opened the bottle of wine clenching his jaws. I gulped and took a deep before opening my mouth again. 

"If you just need someone to talk to, I'm just in my room," I said turning my way back into the living room. But I was just taking the third step when he called me. 

"Madi."

I sighed and looked around him. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to raise my voice at you," he said but still in a foul mood. 

I just smiled and shook my head. "No, it's okay. I'll just go to my room." And I didn't wait for his response, I walked away and headed upstairs. 

I blinked away the tears that had formed around my eyes. 

"It's okay, Madi. Maybe he just has some problems." I told myself when I entered my room. It's been a long time since I saw him in his old self. I'm not used to the old Gabriel anymore. By now I'm used to the sweet, caring and cheerful Gabriel that I'm with in these past months. 

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I didn't notice I fell asleep just by thinking about what happened to Gabriel last night. I got up and looked at the clock on the bedside table, it's already two in the afternoon and I have skipped lunch. 

"Did I sleep for three hours?" I asked myself I stood up. I decided to go down and look for Gabriel but I couldn't see him around the house. 

"Elsa, have you seen Gab around?" I asked our maid when I reached the kitchen. 

"I think he's still in his room, Ma'am Madi," she answered smiling. 

"Oh, yeah. I - I forgot to check his room. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Maam."

I smiled at her. -'Yeah.. how did I forget to check him in his room? Oh.. stupid of me.'-

But I think I don't have to go upstairs to see the person I was looking for as he now walking down the stairs and has even changed into a white shirt and cotton shorts. I gulped when he caught me looking at him, but I smiled so it will look normal. 

"Hi," I said, with a cheerful voice. 

He just looked at me seriously. But I noticed something in his eyes... sadness? What's that for? There's something really wrong with him. He made his way to the U-shaped sofa and followed him but remained standing. 

I waited for him to speak, but he has been sitting there for more than a minute and I still can't hear a word from him. 

"Gab, are you okay---"

"She's pregnant."

Something cold poured all over my body just by hearing those words. 

"W-Who's pregnant?" I still asked even though I inside me, I already knew who that person was that he's referring to. 

"Stacey. She's pregnant," he said through gritted teeth. 

The pain instantly squeezed around my heart and I gulped as almost lost my balance and fall from where I stood. I just grabbed the backrest of the couch to support my weight. 

-'Did I hear him correctly? This can't be true!-'

The pain that crept into my heart was unbearable but I managed to stay calm. 

"Wow! Congratulations!"

I said faking my excitement as I looked at him with an all-out smile. And because I'm the best actress, I blinked back the tears and held my breath. I went up to him and sat down across his seat.

"That's great news, Gab! You're now going to be a father again!"

But he didn't say anything. He just remained quiet. 

"What are you thinking about? You should be celebrating right now. How far is she?" I asked in the jolliest tone I could have. 

"Two months."

"T-Tw...Two months." I gulped. "Oh, I see, so you only have seven months to wait and tada! You'll have a new baby!"

I gulped the lump inside my throat. So, it's true. He was with her in those missing days and nights. He was sleeping with her. 

"I doubt it, Madi." he formed his fists into a hardball. 

"What do you mean?"

"I doubt if it's really mine."

"But why?"

"Because it could be Ray's!"

I couldn't find my words after that. I wanted to tell him that...

-'Now you're doubting if it's yours? So, now you're admitting that you actually slept with her? Because if not, you already knew the answer in the first place that it's not yours. But no, you're doubting, that means you had sex with her that's why you're not sure if it's yours.'-

We both remained. I have so many questions to ask, but I don't know how to start. I have so many things to say, but I'm not sure if it's still needed right at that moment. I have so many things to confirm, but do I still have to open my mouth? 

I thought these past few weeks, everything is going to be fine between us. But that was just a thought... a dream... an illusion because fate just wanted me to savour a little bit of heaven and then now she's playing with my heart again. 

"Madi,"

I heard him calling me and felt his hand on my knee. I looked at him and smiled, but before I could open my mouth, my cellphone vibrated inside my shorts pocket. 

I checked to see it's Noelle calling. I waved my phone in front of him and he nodded. I excused myself for a while to answer the call. 

"Noelle..."

I gulped as it became a hoarse voice for trying not to burst down in tears.

"Madi? What happened to your voice? Are you crying?" I can imagine her frown while asking me those questions. 

Well, not yet, but I know anytime I will. 

"No. What made you think that I'm crying" I chuckled.

"Your voice sounded rough and broken, I thought you were crying."

"No, I'm not. Maybe because I have a sore throat."

"Hmm... okay. Anyway, Madi, can you drop by here? You have to check some documents before passing them to our suppliers."

"Yeah, sure."

"You have to sign it now."

"Oh, as in now?"

"Yes, princess Madi."

I smiled and said yes. Maybe I need some distraction for a moment. After ending the call, I went back to Gabriel. 

"It's Noelle. She informed me that I need to sign some documents.

He stood up immediately. "Okay, I'll go with you."

"No!" my voice came a little bit loud. "I - I mean, you don't have to. I can go visit the outlet by myself."

"Are you sure?" he tried to get closer to me, but I stepped back and acted as if I was going upstairs. 

"Yeah! We're going to have some girly moments. You know, I missed them, I missed our bonding. 

"Okay."

"I'll go change my clothes." I didn't wait for him to respond, I half ran and half walked towards the stairs and to my room. 

I don't know how many times I took a deep breath and gulped the lump inside my throat just to make sure the tears won't fall. I don't want him to see that I'm crying, because I'm sure he would ask me why? And what would I tell him? That I'm crying because I'm feel hurt? And what if he asks me 'why do you feel hurt? What would I answer him? That I feel hurt because I love him and I love him that's why I feel hurt?