3 Sayonara buddy! Hello heaven!

'Anyone just love the smell of fresh unpolluted air? Well I do! It's a wonderful smell when it goes up your nose and out your mouth! Fresh air is probably the best and most invigorating thing to smell to really get the ball rolling! Oh, and I'm also falling from the sky! What? Why didn't I start with that? Eh, because I didn't want too...eheh!

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"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA!" 'That my friends, is the sound of someone falling through the sky at mock 1! And you're probably like, WHAT! BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! WELP! It's possible! Especially when diving into a portal without even checking if you're on the ground first! Second of all is when the portal was enhanced to act like a slingshot! Damn you V...damn you...'

"Holy fucking shiiiiiiit!" 'I was yelling my balls off. I mean, who could blame me? I was falling from the damn sky! And, I didn't even seem close to the bottom! Ok, well...I was getting closer and closer to the ground by the speed I was traveling at, but, have no fear!'

"Hah?" 'All of a sudden, a tingly feeling makes itself announced as I look back at my, uh, back! Guess what it is! Ya gonna guess? No...? ...You're boring to talk too.'

"I've got wings!? Holy shit their huge! How do I even use them!?" 'Yep, I didn't even know how to use them at all. I'm pretty much a newborn learning how to walk for the first time with these things.'

"Flap wings flap!" 'I was pretty much shouting at my wings to listen to me as I struggled to gain some semblance of control, with my wings, and my emotions.'

'I think I felt a twitch! YEP! Ok, start flapping! Uh, that doesn't look right, nope, not that way, eh...close? Oh! Wait! I think I got it! Eh, yeah...I'm just trying to see if I can flap my wings and well...it's not really working...' "This so fucking sucks..." 'At this point I was gaining a little bit of control with my wings, but not fast enough! And from the looks of things, I seemed to be uh, heading towards a...really bright and eye straining city? Jesus it's like Vegas times five!'

"Mayday, mayday, mayday! This is uh, fuck, uhm...Echo-foxtrot...uh, nineteen!" 'My brain was just like, spout nonsense just to keep yourself distracted from your impending doom!'

'Falling with pretty much no guarantee of a safe landing was really and I mean REALLY shitty for me. Also, I could barely even hear myself over the wind rushing across my face like a damn tidal wave!'

"Hurp~..., Imma hurl..." 'Yeah, I was pretty much spinning like a disco ball at this rate. But with a leaf blower assisting it as max speed'.

'My eyes were becoming dry from the constant wind's berating my face, I had to squint to even see if I could at least make the landing a bit softer. I was pretty sure V made my body durable enough to handle a landing such as this one. I wasn't gonna like this landing but oh well!'

'Had to gain some form of control, so I tucked in my limbs, I was pretty much a bullet zooming through the sky seeing I changed the way I was falling. One thing I learned is that from falling, you can change the speed at which you fall, and the direction if you know how to. It's harder without a wingsuit, but, I was getting the hang of it! Also, bad new's as well. See...I was so mad at my wings a moment ago that I, uh, kinda wished them away? Probably an ability given to me by V. He's a nice guy, ya know?'

'Anyways, enough about him. Let's get back to our, and by our, I mean my current predicament.' "Ninety-nine guys splattered on the ground, ninety-nine guys splattered. Take a guy, make him fly, one hundred guys splattered on the ground!" 'Yeah, I kinda revised the beer song with me dying. So, yeah...how's your day?'

'Ok, enough lollygagging. Time to get serious!' "Alright, it's gonna hurt. You know it's gonna hurt, so just, grit your teeth and say you love your mamma!" 'Yep, I'm a weird one alright. I'm proud of who I am!'

'600 feet'

'500'

'400'

'300'

'200'

'100'

'And that's the end of the story! GOODNIGHT!'

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'Oh? You're still here? Huh, thought that would have got you! Anyways..! 'KASBFFFMMM' was all that was heard as I crashed into the ground like a firecracker in July' 

'Clouds of dust, which was clouds, kicked up as I slammed into the soft and warm embrace of dea-' "I'm alive? HOW AM I ALIVE?!" 'oh wait, I'm alive!'

I immediately bolted upright as my head zipped around in confusion, I thought it was going to hurt!? Now that's just complete and utter bullshit! Thanks for the scare V, reeeeal funny'

"Well, ehem, seems I uh...overreacted a bit." 'I said as I got up and dusted myself o--oooo and I'm tall...like obnoxiously tall.'

"Oh man, w-w-whyyyy am I so tall? 'Is what I said, and I was indeed way too tall from what I remember my original height being. I didn't even know how tall I was and yet I felt as if I was as tall if not taller then eight feet.'

'I looked down and realized I was waaay above ten feet tall, eleven? No. Twelve? Nope. Thirteen? Nuh-uh. seventeen? BINGO-BANGO-BONGO! We got ourselves a winner!' "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph am I tall!" 

'pop' - clink-clink

"Huh?" 'I exclaim as I look to where that pop sound came from.'

'In place of the area that was once empty now laid a mirror, a holdable one at that. I reach down and grab it with...gloves? I also have gloves on? when I did I ever put gloves on?'

'My gaze looked into the mirror and what I saw clearly shocked me' "Holy shit." 'Is what I definitely meant to say, and I meant every single word. I was god damn HANDSOME! Like, model handsome! White curly hair, blue ocean colored eyes! Pale white skin that seems...really pale. Is that even a healthy color? Eh, who cares. Also, did I forget to say I look freaking handsome! Like a rugged handsome but also a young and...dashing handsome! But a few things did stand out from my face. For starter's were my sharp pearly white's! And I don't mean sharp as in I look sharp but like, shark teeth sharp! But, there was also the black veins that formed around both of my eyes like some sort of black ooze but on the inside. Made me look like as if I were sick, both figuratively and literally'

"Jeez V, you really did go all out when ya made my new body. I'm digging the look, just, uh, I love it!" 'I was smiling ear to ear, not a crazed smile but a happy smile! I actually don't know how others would think if they saw me smiling...'

'I continued to check out my new look and I gotta say it kept getting better and better the more I checked myself out. I mean, the outfit? I absolutely love the new cloths he gave me. Seemed to stick to my build really well, FYI, he gave me a really broad shouldered type body. Like, a football player's physique. My leg's weren't all shrimpy luckily. If I were to guess, I'd say I have around 400-500 pounds in weight...or more? I didn't actually know my total weight seeing this was a whole new...me.'

'It all felt so surreal and yet it was as real as real can be. I must be one lucky sonovabitch to get a chance like this!' "Definitely not gonna get into a relationship..." 'Yeah, no. I wasn't interested in relationships. They're WAY too much work, even a quick fling isn't something I'm interested in. I mean, I know I was a virgin in my past life, but I don't really wanna change that.'

'Why would I want to risk pissing someone off? And by piss someone off, like, say...the person I'm in a relationship with is secretly cheating on someone while being with me? And being with me without even telling me to even begin with? Nope, relationships are scary and problematic and way too much for me.'

'I put a gloved finger to one of my teeth as I poked and prodded at it. Yep, definitely sharp and not some sort of vanity item. And gloves? The black gloves are something that definitely fit my attire. Secondly were the black boots! Why boots with a fit as nice as this? I dunno, ask the guy who gave me them! I mean, they didn't look bad at all with the tuxedo. Contrary to looking ugly with my cloths, they mixed quite well! And they were sooo comfy. Who knew boots could feel this nice?!'

"My suit seems to have holes on the back for my wings...and it has gold rims around the holes. Huh, gold lining for where my wings should be? That makes my tuxedo look extra snazzy." 'V GAVE ME REAL GOLD LINING? I mean, it was only a little, and yet...I could tell it was real gold.'

'pop' -krk

"Another gift?" 'I ask out loud, V probably can hear me or something close to that.'

'I look down and notice...a mask?' "Huh, what's this thing for?" 'I notice a sticky note attached to the mask as I pick up the mask and take off the sticky note - The mask is to conceal your identity, and the mirror was to help you see yourself and your halo ring - V'

"Huh, V really did think of everything." 'The man was truly a considerate guy. He even went ahead and made me a disguise!'

'The mask was peculiar, it had horns, blackish horns with spiral like patters that were consisted of intricate white lines. It also seemed to look like some sort of LED system if you put it on. The mask was obviously white and black, are these colors the norm in this reality or something? Any who, the mask was pretty frickinb cool looking! Seemed more on the masculine side...then again, it's just a mask. I honestly thought it was just a mask, nothing special and oh boy was I wrong.'

"Meh, only one way to find out." 'Is what I said, and I oh so regretted it for the first few seconds as an unholy pain wracked my entire head.'

"AHHHH!" 'I yelled out in pain as I tried to pull the mask off. The damn thing was sticking to me like a face hugger! It felt as if it was eating away at my flesh and drilling down to my bones. It was utterly excruciating and God awful.'

'I fell down to the ground in pain as I clutched whatever I could just to push through this nightmare of a headache! Yes, the pain was only in my head, but God did it hurt! And then, it just stopped! No more pain, no aftereffects, nothing!'

'With the pain gone I bolted upright again for the second time as I put my hands all over my face. The mask was on, yet it felt different from when I first put it on. It feel's more...real?' "Da faq?" 'I couldn't help but ask aloud, and when I did, the mask spoke. Not like sentient type of speaking, but spoke as in spoke the words I said.'

'pop' - fwf...

- P.s, I made the mask to where it fully attaches to your body. It can recede by mentally commanding it to do so. It's now a physical part of you. It's going to hurt a lot, but, I believe you already put it on. Sorry if this message got to you a little later then I hoped it would. - V

'I read the other sticky note and couldn't help but say.' "....Fuck you." 'And now I regret ever calling him a generous guy, ...kidding...love ya, V!'

"Well, this is nice." 'First, I wake up realizing I died, then I meet an all-powerful being probably made out of nothing but red bull...that isn't super energetic and quite dull but still really full of power and most likely a probable cause for a seizure if just meeting said being. Then I become said seizures friend, then I jump into a portal, fall through the sky, land with no pain and, yeah. What's left is this damned mask!'

"My new life has been so fucking weird leading up to this point. I'm surprised I haven't had some sort of mental freakout by now." 'It is a little shocking that I've done nothing but blow through this craziness as if it were normal for me. Then again...you're talking about a guy with ADHD and Autism...so...thing's being weird is the norm for me.'

'Shrugging was my only response to this.' "Well, what the fuck is there to even do about all this?" 'I couldn't help but not care. Like, what's freaking out gonna do for me? Waste my time by freaking out? Yeah, I'm not going to do that.'

'I stood up as I dusted off myself again for the second time today. I definitely don't want to ruin this suit. This suit is way to nice for me to even consider ruining, but, I'm sure V made it super durable...hopefully.'

'As I dusted myself, I felt a bulge in my pants, and no it's not that type of bulge you perv. It was a bulge in my pants pocke.t' "Oi? Whaz this then?" 'I liked doing accents for fun, deal with it.'

'Reaching into my pocket I took out a wallet that seemed to be bursting with money. And a card in it as well with ANOTHER sticky note. Better not have some sort of confetti cannon somehow packed into it...'

'I took out the sticky note and flipped it around to read it' - The cash you have is the currency for the current reality you're in. I thought of hiding the name of where you're at...but I couldn't. Your currently in a heaven, yes A heaven. Which mean's hell exists, lucifer, the devil, ectera. The card is an all-expense card. Don't worry about cash problems up there in heaven, or even hell. Hell does have money but their called souls. No, not souls as in people's soul's but soul's as in the name of the money. You're welcome by the way - V

"Pfff..." 'I couldn't help but do a spit take at that. Like, all expenses paid? How does that even work for the economy? Is this a reality where the economy isn't all fucky-wucky? Welp, it's not like I was a person who ever usually asked for much. And no, I'm not bullshitting you. I never really cared for many things. I was usually a person who cared about living longer than spending everything I have. If I had a million dollars, you know what I would do? Buy an apartment and live the rest of my days in that apartment and not even think of buying a house! Why not buy a house you ask? Because it takes longer to clean, more expenses on bills and cleaning supplies, ectera. And no, I'm not lazy, I just want to make my life as easy as possible.'

"Welp, guess I should add this to the list of crazy things that have happened thus far." 'ten out of ten, would recommend.'

'I couldn't help but sigh as I stepped out of the small, and yes, I mean small crater. The crater was barely even that big! It was probably the cloud that I crashed into, and thus, it negated a good amount of force behind the speed I was going at' "Hmm..." 'my gaze slowly looked over the area I was in, clearly, I was somewhere. What? Did ya expect me to know where I was? Guess what, I don't!'

"It's best I head to the city that I saw. Probably something to do there. I'm already getting bored from standing here." 'Yeah, standing around for too long was really not good for my patience.'

'So, I started to walk forward, or well, stumble. I wasn't really all that accustomed to my new height just yet. It took a few wobbly attempts before I was walking like a natural! I wonder if I'll somehow get taller...' "Yeesh, the air's so clean here! It's all nice and fresh! Or is it because of me having a new nose?" 'I was betting on the fact that seeing I had a new body meant that my taste buds were reset as well as my smell receptors in my nose. I was pretty much experiencing everything again but with a fresh body and a new start!'

'Deciding to take a deep breath of fresh air was a must, a small twinkle in my eye's as I gazed up into the...sky. I wanted to say heavens but, ya know...'

'I stuffed my hands into my pockets as I walked at a brisk pace, which most would definitely have to jog to even keep up with me to even begin with. I wonder how tall the other occupants of this universe is?' 

'If I met anyone that was alive then I would ignore them completely unless it's direct contact. I needed information, I needed to know what was going on to blend in. I couldn't stand out like a sore thumb. I mean...I was probably going to stand out...but who cares? A little attention won't hurt. Also, I forgot to mention my halo ring. It was definitely bright as fuck. Not a bright color but a whitish type of neon coloring. It wasn't the normal yellow which was weird...then again, I didn't know how things worked in this universe.'

"Need to get my wings out, it's probably a norm to have wings." 'But I stopped dead in my tracks as the thought of my wings came up. What would I do about my wings if I had to fly? Is there some sort of sky platforms in heaven? A sky highway? Yeesh, definitely gonna have to do an impromptu flying lesson for myself.'

'Cracking my neck, I looked up to the sky.' "Welp, time to learn how to fly." 'And thus began the hundred year flying program I created for newborn angels! Kidding, it only took like a few hours before I was able to nail down the basics. Apparently, I was picking up things way more smoothly than what I'm used to. V probably made it to where my body adapts way more quickly than usual to help me fit it in, love ya, V!'

'As I finished my practice I decided to land back onto the ground, still kinda scared of heights seeing with what happened before arriving here.' "Now it's time to get going." 'I also felt really energetic after that little workout. I didn't even break a sweat! Probably some sort of angelic aspect of my new body. I was obviously given some sort of angelic traits, testing my limit's sounds fun.'

'I continued to walk as my boot's made soft thudding sounds against the cloudy surface I was walking on. The cloud was really soft beneath my boots! Who would have ever thought?' "Probably the most comfortable bed or pillow in the world if I really wanted to use these clouds for such a thing."

'Along my walk I continued to jump from bouncy cloud to bouncy cloud, yes, I call them bouncy clouds! It was a name I came up with on the spot, like, am I a genius or what?' "Definitely living the dream..." 'Heh, dream.'

'The pace was slow, and, I didn't like it! Gotta pick up the pace a little!' "I guess flying would most likely be the best bet to get there quickly." 'I tensed up the muscles in my legs and wings, and, BAM! I was off like a bat out of hell! Hehe, bat out of hell...'

"WOOOH!" 'And there goes my fear of my heights and going fast! Wind resistance? What's that? Never heard of it!'

'The speed I was moving at was a bit too fast for my tastes, so, I began to go slower, no need to hurry too much. The idea of getting there soon is nice and all, but, I want to enjoy the sky for a moment.'

'I continued to glide through the sky as I took in the ground below. It all seemed so small and faraway. It was a shocking thing to me. I still couldn't get over the fact I was flying.' "It's so beautiful up here." 'Was all I could possibly say to explain how I was feeling.'

'Dipping lower to the cloudy surface I flew directly over the cloud's, my shadow moving under me as if trying to keep up with my speed.' "I wonder how fast I could fly if I really knew how to use my wings..." 'It was something I was curious about. Maybe I could get close to mock one? Who knows? Because I don't!'

'I continued to fly for a few hours as I got closer and closer, the city was right in sight. I wasn't going to go flying in as if it was normal for me. I was planning on landing on the outskirts of this place. Having been spotted right from the get-go was something I didn't need.' "Alright, getting close now. Just gotta find a spot to touch down..." 'I needed a place to land, somewhere that had some shade or shadows to try my shadow melding. I had to be careful with this ability. I didn't even know how to use it...so I was just gonna do a full send and see if it works out.'

'I flew lower and lower as I decreased my speed. The height I was at gradually decreased as my feet touched down onto the smooth asphalt in an alley that seemed to be just what I needed' "Alright, time to try this." 'I say as my eye's trace the alley for the darkest shadow possible. The darker the shadow, the more effective my ability should be if I'm correct about my hunch.'

'Trying to find a shadow that was darker than a shadow was pretty hard. I mean, you'd think I was being overdramatic, but I wasn't. I mean, it depends on how much light is hitting that area. But, it didn't take as long as I feared it would. I of course being the brilliant person I am found the perfect shadow under a nearby dumpster, and it seemed to be where the densest shadows were' residing at. '

'I immediately plopped down onto the ground as I folded my legs and arms and immediately began to meditate. I know I said I was gonna full send it, which I am, but I need to feel my power out first. Meditating was probably the best and quickest solution to choose from if I really wanted this done.' "Ok, I can do this. It didn't take me long to become a novice when I tried learning to fly so it shouldn't take long for this." 'Please no murphy, please NO MURPHY!'

'Meditation was never really something I considered trying so I was a rookie at it. Block out distractions? Can't really do that seeing I have sensitive ear's...which V left for me. I mean, sensitive ears? I guess he wanted my body to be a little unnatural to make sure I blend in. Alright, sidetracking, right. Hmmmm....' "Come on, come on, come ooooon....." 'I felt something! Felt weird...felt detached from me...'

'Whatever was making me feel this feeling needed to be sought out. I had to really dig deep. My focus was really waning, but I had to really get in there and grab whatever it was that calling out to me' "AHA!" 'And I grabbed it, and everything went black.'

'No, I didn't pass out. I most certainly did not freak out when it happened, nope, nuh-uh, can't prove it! Ehem! I did it, I didn't know where I was, but, as soon as I looked up, I did. It was a strange thing to see. It was as if I went underground but I could see everything above it. I could see the dumpster, some trash cans, heck, I could even see into buildings but from under the floor!'

"This is so awesome!" 'Yeah, I had to say that. Like, seeing everything but from under the ground? I was like some sort of hacker in a video game, except, this was real life...or is it? Nah, I'm just fucking with ya! Or am I...hehe.'

'My voice also sounded distorted. Not a creepy type of distorted but more of a...underwater type of distortion? Underwater you usually couldn't talk, but, I could in this scenario. It's like me saying fuck you to science! But science is awesome so no, no fuck you's to science.'

'I slowly walked forward, and it was a giant mistake! One step led to a giant leap! I was at the dumpster and then I was under a table in what seemed to be a tea shop! Apparently, I couldn't walk in here, but more like shadow leap. I think I'm going to stick with shadow leap as the name for this neat little trick.'

"That...felt normal..." 'And it did, it didn't feel weird at all. It felt so easy to do. And I did it again, and again, and again. Each time I did it, the better I got. It was more like looking to where you wanna go and say 'take me there' and I would go there. But you had to move your foot just a tiny bit and BAM! You're already at your destination!'

'I continued to go from shadow to shadow as I traced out as much of the city as possible. I needed a good layout if anything ever went sour. A contingency plan was something that was a necessity just in case I'm targeted for some reason. My doubt's on being attacked were pretty high seeing this was heaven. Then again, I didn't know what to exactly expect.'

'This city was HUGE, like ginormous in size! I didn't even see an end to it! Mapping out the entire city wasn't going to be possible anytime soon. So, I decided to map out the area's I would around at most to see if there were spots I could lay low at. There was a TON of spots to hide in...which were shadows. I wasn't going to hide behind walls if I could meld into the frickin abyss! I'd be pretty dumb if I forgot my ability to do this!'

'Shadow after shadow, place to place. I wasn't even close to done yet. I was gathering every bit of information I possibly could and I did it as quickly as possible. Even though this shadow ability was fun and all, it was also suffocating. There was no feeling of suffocation or anything, but more like a sense of paranoia that if I stayed in here to long I wouldn't be able to ever even leave.'

'After a few dozen more minutes I was finally fed up with my time being spent down here and backtracked to the alley I came from. I was planning on exiting out of the alley I landed in. If someone asked why I came out of there, I'd simply say I was taking a shortcut. If they ask why I didn't use my wings? I would simply say I felt like walking.' 

'I'm sure they'd be reasonable seeing it's heaven and lying is sinful and all that. I mean, I did plan on walking so it wasn't a lie...per say. It was most obviously not a shortcut, but, nobody needs to know that, right? I was going to be as truthful as I could. I was most certainly not going to tell how I really came to heaven but I would tell a fabricated lie. I'd say I died protecting someone from a group of thugs and I went down in a blaze of glory! Had to make it seem I was a bit heroic to make sure some took my side if things went south.'

'There was a problem, however. See, when I use this shadow melding trick, I can't seem to see anyone up above when I'm underneath. That means I can't tell if someone's in the alley or not. You'd probably ask, but why would someone in heaven be in an alley? I dunno, throwing away trash or something? How would they react if someone just popped out of the shadows as if some sort of jack in the box? Would they think it's normal? Would they call it a devilish black magic and scream for help? I really couldn't go risking my bacon if shit went that bad that quickly.'

'But, I had no other choice. I needed to get out of this shadowy place to get the ball rolling. Needed to see the city up close and personal and not underground. Did I forget to mention that everything's black and white when I'm in this place? I've been seeing these two colors so much that I think I'm starting to get sick.'

"Alright, here goes nothing." 'And I simply looked up, and wow! I was out like a newborn baby! Ew, that sounded wrong saying it. Meh, it's my head so who cares HAHAHAaaa, ehem. Anyways, yeah...I was out. And I was so free! Yeesh, I didn't know it'd feel this good getting out just after only spending a few hour's in that place!'

'A hand went to my tuxedo as I fixed it up. Had to be presentable to the populace to make sure I wasn't some sort of slob. I already knew I looked good, but I wasn't sure how...uh...well dressed the people of heaven looked. Needed to be nice and tidy to score some brownie points!' "Alright, hello heaven!" 'I say as I walked out of the alley.' 

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"Shit." 'Was all I could say as I saw the bustling populace of heaven, it...wasn't what I expected it to be! There were...so many things! So many different looking...angels? I...they all looked so weird and then so normal! Some looked like animals, some liked like people but with shapes for heads! It...it...I...oh man this is gonna be hard...'