Dance

After checking it over for the third time, Chen An handed in her exam to Mrs. Wu and bid her farewell before walking out of the classroom. The students who finished the test early were dismissed, and Li Jun Jie had been the first to go.

Chen An headed to the instrument locker room to pick up her violin and the fresh stack of music books Ms. Yun had ordered for her afternoons in the art class.

Expecting to be alone in the empty corridor, a figure caught her eye, leaning against the railing of the balcony that overlooked the school's courtyard. Approaching cautiously, her eyes met Li Jun Jie's familiar face, a sketchbook in his hands though the pages were once again empty.

The harsh wind blew away the long hair that covered his forehead, revealing his downturned eyes. The pages fluttered in the draft, displaying half-finished drawings, and brushed against Li Jun Jie's wrist, but he did not seem to mind.

Chen An stood beside him, lifting herself up on the bars of the railing. "You're still here?" Chen An had meant it as an observation, but it came out as a question.

Li Jun Jie turned to face her, watching the breeze pull long strands of hair from Chen An's ponytail. Chen An closed her eyes against the wind, breathing in the woody scent of autumn. Unconsciously, Li Jun Jie reached out a hand to brush away the hair that caught in Chen An's eyelashes but stopped himself before he could touch her.

Turning back to look at the courtyard, he responded, "I have no where else to go."

"What about your home?" Chen An asked. "The art room, I mean."

Li Jun Jie once again looked at the blank sketchbook in his hands, and his chest heaved with a deep sigh. "I don't think I deserve to go back there."

"Nonsense." Chen An reached for his arm. "You're just missing a little inspiration. Don't worry, it happens to me all the time with violin."

She pulled him down the hallway, and he stumbled along beside her, unable to hide the surprised look on his face.

"Li Ge Ge, you're back!" The children swarmed to Li Jun Jie, piling on top of him like a mountain of overeager puppies.

Li Jun Jie smiled that beaming smile Chen An had only ever seen on his face in the art room. She let out a breath of relief; he was back to normal.

"Did you miss me, An An?" Li Jun Jie asked, pinching the little girl's rosy cheeks lightly.

Little An An tackled him in a large embrace, wrapping her arms around him as best as she could and burying her head into his school uniform jacket. Li Jun Jie scooped her up and led the kids to his usual table in the center of the room. Chen An couldn't help but smile at the image.

"They sure are happy to see them." Shen Li Xin settled beside her. His hair stuck out in all sorts of directions and paint prints decorated the apron that hung around his neck, the markings of many little hands grabbing at him.

Chen An laughed at his disheveled appearance. "It seems they're happy to see you, too."

Shen Li Xin brought a hand up to his head immediately, trying to flatten the wild curls that formed in his hair. He hesitated for a moment but asked her anyway, "Are you happy to see me too, An An?"

Not thinking much of the question, Chen An nodded promptly, turning her attention back to the kids that climbed onto Li Jun Jie's table, each of them requesting him to draw whatever came up in their imaginations.

Shen Li Xin's ears turned pink, and he looked away toward the front of the room.

"Ah," he realized as his eyes landed on something on the teacher's desk. "I brought a gift for you, An An."

Chen An followed him as he led her to a shiny silver CD player that looked so outdated, Chen An wondered if it worked at all.

"I found it at the antique market," Shen Li Xin explained. "So you don't have to play violin for the kids all the time."

He brought out a collection of children's music CDs and popped one into the player, a scratchy melody emerging from the machine.

Chen An smiled, though her heart ached inside of her chest. Her mother had bought a CD player for her before she was even born, her first and only gift to her daughter. Perhaps her mother had wanted Chen An to be a musician, a dream Chen An was happy to have fulfilled.

Her mother's CD player had sat in Chen An's bedroom for her whole life, untouched, but Chen An had accidentally knocked it to the floor one day while cleaning, and it fell to pieces on impact. She had frantically collected the pieces, trying desperately to fit them back together. A CD had been inside the player, unmarked except for Chen An's name written in permanent marker on its front.

But, the CD player never worked again, or perhaps it was already broken in the first place. But, Chen An had never heard the contents of the CD her mother had left behind.

Breaking out of her thoughts, she turned to Shen Li Xin. "Thank you, I mean it."

Little An An scurried to where they stood, bouncing up and down in excitement. "Do you know the dance, An An Jie Jie? Do you?"

"Of course I do," Chen An replied confidently, mimicking the animals in the lyrics of the song.

Little An An squealed with delight and called the others over to dance with her. She interrupted Li Jun Jie midway through his drawing and dragged him to the front of the room.

"Li Ge Ge, you should dance with An An Jie Jie." Little An An brought his hand to Chen An's, and afraid of disappointing the little girl, Chen An had no choice but to accept it.

Chen An looked down at their linked hands and then back up at Li Jun Jie. The children's shouts seemed to quiet in the background, and only the constant metronome of Chen An's own heartbeat filled her ears, though it seemed to run much faster than normal.

Li Jun Jie took her other hand and began to sway their arms to the beat of the music. His hands were colder than hers, but his fingers squeezing hers made Chen An feel warmth radiating from her chest.

They danced to the bright tune like they were kids again, Li Jun Jie pulled Chen An gently to match his steps. His touch was feather-light, as if Chen An was only a ghost and would disappear if his hand was too hard.

The children swarmed around their feet, weaving between their legs. Their occasional bumps pushed Chen An closer to Li Jun Jie, and his grasp tightened ever so slightly to steady her. Chen An could no longer hear the music, depending on Li Jun Jie to guide her.

When the song finished, the children began clapping, and Chen An retracted her hands quickly to clap along. She didn't dare look at Li Jun Jie but could sense his gaze on her, which felt like a cold breeze against her searing skin.

The class phone rang, and Shen Li Xin hurried to pick up the call. After a brief exchange, he returned to where they stood. "Li Jun Jie, your mother is here to pick you up for your doctor's appointment."

Chen An turned to him worriedly. "I didn't know you had an appointment today. You should have told me beforehand."

"I didn't get the chance." Li Jun Jie smiled softly back at her in reassurance. "But, this was more important than any appointment. Thank you, Chen An."

Chen An nodded and watched Li Jun Jie disappear out of the door of the art classroom.

After the last kid was picked up from the afternoon art class, Chen An and Shen Li Xin went around the room to pick up the art supplies scattered around the tables and that had rolled onto the floor.

"Do you want to be a musician?" Shen Li Xin asked her as they cleared the table together.

Chen An was used to the question, one that everyone who watched her performances had asked her before. But, her answer had always disappointed them. "I don't know."

However, Shen Li Xin nodded at her in understanding. "You have time to figure it out. I don't know much about music, but I think you're very talented. The kids love you, too."

Chen An immediately blushed at the compliment, trying to focus on picking up the markers in front of her.

"Is there a reason you wouldn't want to be a musician?" Shen Li Xin asked, and the question startled her.

She had never spoken about her mother to anyone, not even her grandmother, who tried to avoid the topic as much as she could. But, Chen An felt comforted by Shen Li Xin's presence and began to share the thoughts that she had kept to herself for many years, the words pouring out of her like an unstopped stream. "My mother was a literature major in college. She was passionate about writing the same way I am about music. But, her love of books eventually turned into hatred, and she was consumed by the loss of her passion. I'm afraid the same will happen to me if I choose to have a career as a violinist."

"Love can make people do crazy things," Shen Li Xin responded without hesitation. "I don't think your mother lost her love for literature but maybe was overwhelmed by it. I've seen you play violin for some time now, and I can tell your love is just as strong."

Chen An paused; Shen Li Xin's simple words of reassurance had evoked the emotions she had suppressed for many years, but Chen An forced herself not to cry in front of him.

Collecting the pencils and paintbrushes in the jars, Shen Li Xin examined the pile of supplies on the table. "Hmm... it seems we're running out of paint. I'm planning to do watercolors next week, so I'll have to buy them before then," he pondered to himself.

His eyes met Chen An, who was distracting herself by sorting the colored pencils in their metal trays. "An An, do you have some time this weekend?"

Chen An thought for a moment before nodding. "I think so. Why?"

Shen Li Xin smiled a brilliant smile. "Can you help me pick up some art supplies then?"

The thought of meeting Shen Li Xin outside of school made Chen An's heart race. But, she assured herself it was nothing more than an extension of her duties in the art class. Chen An nodded, smiling to herself like a little girl.