2 2. The Wand 

Happy smiled wide as if he had found a treasure and quickly sat down to start feasting.

Looking around, he didn't find any utensils. But the sin of glutony had overtaken him, as evident by the drool. So he didn't waste time and wiped his hands on his shirt. Then he grabbed the chicken drumsticks with both hands and started tearing them apart.

Shamelessly biting left and right, Happy savored every bit of it in his mouth. Without realizing it, tears of joy fell from his eyes. He felt that it was the best thing he had ever tasted in his life. But then he remembered Hogwarts, and his mood turned even better.

'Great Hall! Honeydukes! Three Broomsticks! You lot just wait!' Happy thought as he hummed a happy tune while devouring the chicken.



After spending a few minutes devouring a whole chicken by himself, Happy leaned back on the chair, rubbed his belly, and burped.

While rubbing his bulging tummy, Happy looked down and noticed something. His hands appeared smaller, and his legs seemed shorter.

"Did I regress in age?"




Just then, five house elves popped out of nowhere. One old-looking elf suddenly slapped another timid-looking one, "See! Marcus said someone is in the house!"

"Minky see! Minky see!" Nodded a female one, wearing two sets of pillowcases on her upper and lower body.

The timid one bowed his head and rubbed his hands together, "Yes, Lupy heard. Lupy knows. Marcus is right."

Happy sat there quietly, a little amused and slightly bewildered, not knowing how to react. He knew they were house elves, but he didn't know how they would respond to someone trespassing into a house they were serving in.

'Oh no!' Happy couldn't hold it.

Burp!—Another belch escaped his mouth, and suddenly all five of them looked at him.

"A new Lestrange? Master Lestrange!" Marcus exclaimed.

They all looked at him with glittering eyes, looking so happy they could cry.

They quickly knelt before Happy and pleaded, "Not leave us again, master. Please… We is House Lestrange's loyal servants."


Happy had not forgotten that his last name in the previous world was Lestrange too. So he wondered if God also decided to make him a Lestrange here.

'Am I related to those terrorists?'

He reckoned that if the timeline he was in was the same as Harry Potter, then all the Lestrange family members were in Azkaban, leaving everything they owned behind.

"Me? Your master? Do you serve House Lestrange?" He asked to be sure.

Yes, Happy knew he was naive as he had not seen the real world outside his hospital room. But he also knew he had to be careful after reading the books and watching the movies.

The oldest house-elf came forward, "I is Marcus Aurelius, the chief house-elf. You is last free Lestrange, master."

"Wait! Markus Aurelius? Who named you?" Happy was bewildered by the unique name since he knew that most house elves were given diminutive pet-like names.

"Of course, 'tis Mistress Circe before she was forced to move from Colophon to here, Master. Mistress said she likes having me serve her. It makes Mistress Circe very happy. Markus is happy, as long as Mistress Circe is happy!" He smiled with his pitiful number of teeth.

'So this Circe was a history nerd, I presume.'

"What about the rest of you?"

"Yes! Minky is Minky. She is loyal to Lestrange!" The cheerful female elf raised her hand.

"Lupy... Lupy is not smart elf, but Lupy work hard for Lestrange!" The timid house-elf nodded.

"Gabby will cook and clean for Master." Said the other female elf, who was silent before.

"Nobby can do anything, Master. Just tell Nobby what to do!" Said the somewhat taller one, compared to the others. He posed with his arms up, showing his sad amount of muscles.

Happy eyed them one by one, making sure he didn't get their names wrong. They all wore pillow covers as clothes and seemed to haven't washed them in years. However, Happy noticed that five was a large number of house-elves for a broken-down old house. If he remembered correctly, besides owls, house-elves were the only other species with an inherited servitude. They should have been dispersed to the other families connected to the Lestrange family.

'Unless, they were told to wait here for something... or someone ...'

"Then, do you have something for me?" Happy asked with expectant eyes.

"Yes." Markus snapped his fingers, and a thick envelope appeared.

Happy took it and saw a gold stamp on it. He slowly opened the seal and dropped it onto the table. The elves looked in surprise, thinking something was wrong. Happy took a step back too, half expecting the envelope to have some dark magic.

Thankfully, nothing happened. Brushing it off with an awkward chuckle, Happy looked into it and found that there was a Hogwarts invitation letter addressed to 'Mr. H. Lestrange' and a key that looked like Harry's key to his vault in Gringotts.

"It's my Hogwarts letter. Well, I certainly have the right place...So, my...Father...hasn't been here in a long time, right?" Happy tried to pretend he really was a part of the family, and dig up some more information. Even he wasn't sure about his status yet.

"Yes, Master. Master Rodolphus Senior didn't come home for a long long time. The young masters told us to stay and clean up the house, but they never returned after the big bad war."

"Yes! Big fighting! Bad bad war!" The other elves clamored.

Apparently, the building belonged to one of the Lestrange brothers but had been in ruins since the end of the First Wizarding War. None of the younger Lestrange cared about it since they had their own houses, families, and battles to fight.

'Are they going to come back?' A fleeting thought passed through Happy's mind, but then his thoughts turned back as he touched the golden key.

"Alright, let's not dwell on the past. You all should start cleaning up. Let's turn this place back into a livable home." He ordered.

"Cleaning! Cleaning! Minky likes cleaning, yes, she does!" Minky jumped for joy.

"New Master is good! House must be cleaned!" Nooby snapped, and a broom appeared in his hand.

The other elves also started to conjure up cleaning supplies, and made some of the furniture move with magic. Happy was excited to see magic in action. He couldn't wait to see the advanced stuff.

But first, he had to go to Gringotts.


The following day, the sky was still a little gloomy because of the rain last night.

Happy took Markus, the oldest family elf along.

'The elf knew everything about the family, so he could help against any greedy Goblins', he reckoned.

While walking along, he saw the places he only dreamt of when he was sick; Potage's Cauldron Shop, Flourish and Blotts, and Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor.

Happy couldn't help looking left and right, but he tried his best to keep it in. He didn't want to stand out too soon, and he didn't have the money to spend yet.

Reaching the bank, Happy looked up at the tall, snowy white building that towered over the other little shops.

'What a mess of a building.'

He entered the magnificent building and walked to a teller. He once thought that the movies might be exaggerated, but to his surprise, the Goblin teller was sitting relatively high above, making Happy feel like he was very small and short. 'Well, even Hagrid had to look up.'

He gulped before saying, "I wish to make a withdrawal from the Lestrange family vault."

The Goblin looked down from his high, proud platform only to scowl.

Surely, he wouldn't instantly believe a kid came out of nowhere and proclaimed himself an heir to one of the greatest wizarding families. But he did take a serious look at the key Happy dangled in front of him.

"The key is real, but are you?" The goblin asked and pushed forward a piece of paper. "Put a drop of blood on it."

Happy beamed, and remembered God saying he was utterly lucky. "Oh, is this an inheritance test? Where, if I found out I have an ancient bloodline, I get access to more vaults?"


The goblin grunted, "Wake up from dreams, young wizard. That paper belongs to the old patriarch of the Lestrange family. It can recognize Lestrange blood, so you must pass this test. Merely holding a key isn't enough."

'Ugh, those fanfics lied.' Happy muttered embarrassingly and did as he was asked. He asked Marcus to help him prick his finger, since he hated needles.

After that, as he expected, his ancestry was proven.

But Happy was clever.

"Since I'm the last Lestrange, I wish for all the content in the Lestrange vault to be moved to a new secured vault immediately. Furthermore, I want everything in the Black family vault and their properties transferred to me and my new vault. Bellatrix Lestrange is a Black, and through her, I lay claim to—"

"Denied." The goblin flatly responded.

"The law doesn't work like that, Mr. Lestrange. The first claim after Sirius Black belongs to the children of his direct siblings, and your claims come last."

'Ugh… at least I tried.'

"Oh, understood. Then just transfer the Lestrange vault's items to my new vault. I will also withdraw five hundred Galleons, that's all."

The goblin eyed him for a moment, then nodded.

Within a few minutes, a bag of gold coins was placed on the table. His demand was swiftly fulfilled, and all he had to do was sign his name. He didn't really need to go to his vault as that was too time-consuming, and he wasn't going to count everything in there. As the muggles had their ATM machines, the wizards had the goblins. Why else would the goblins be there, writing down each transfer and withdrawal with their quills?

With that done, his pockets were full, and his unknown wealth secured. Happy decided to do some shopping and some eating. He moved from one shop to another, tasting all the treats he could find.


While walking through the market, something caught Happy's eye. It was a familiar shop he had seen countless times in the movie.


Happy quickly walked in with a spring in his step.

As he pushed the door open, the bell chimed, and an old man who was looking at some items at the front desk looked up.


"Oh, Hello, young man. You must be here for your first wand." Ollivander, the expert wandmaker, smiled kindly.

"Yes sir, I am Happy Lestrange. I just got my Hogwarts letter."

Before Happy could say anything more, Ollivander went aside and rummaged through some boxes on the shelves. Soon, he returned, pulled out a wand that looked white as bone, and offered it to Happy.

Happy took it and waved it towards a vase full of flowers before anyone could say anything.

The vase didn't explode as Happy had expected, but the water in it overflowed, pouring out as if it had turned into an unstoppable spring. Then, it toppled over and shattered into pieces while the flowers wilted.

"No, definitely not," Ollivander murmured.

Happy placed the wand down on the table.

"Let's see... Let's see—A great house, a great name…" Ollivander walked towards the back of his shop, looking for a box.

He suddenly pulled out a black box and brought it back in silence. He carefully took the wand out of the box and offered it to Happy with both hands. "Made of Holly, with a phoenix tail feather core. A good combination."

Happy took the wand, and before he waved it, he noticed the carvings and shapes.

'Ah, this must be the luck God talked about. This is Harry's wand.' The wand was starting to glow, but Happy realized something and quickly placed the wand back into its box.

"No! I want something else. I don't like the design."

Ollivander was dumbfounded and insisted, "What? Why? It's a good wand, and only one other like it exists."

Happy backed up and seriously stared at the old man's face.

"I refuse."



See Illustrations on Discord: https://discord.gg/misterimmortal

Special thanks to *DougErNuts* *Franklin Walley* *Qul* *phong thanh nguyen* *Dillon Tyler* *andy cohen* *Martin Bosley* *Jason Jimenez* *Devor*

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