Chapter 3: Childhood 2

I find myself sitting on a root sticking out of the ground belonging to a tree outside the Lovegood house, watching as Ginny and Luna play catch with a little stuffed horse that seems delighted to fly around them.

It looks like they are having fun. I don't know if they compete to see who catches it first, maybe they just chase it for fun. When you're a kid you don't need competitions or goals to meet to have fun, you just end up doing things because they want, and they end up being the most fun.

Sometimes I miss that childhood freedom so naively. As an adult before and with my current psychological problems my life can no longer be that simple, once you realize the world around you, you can no longer be so innocent and there is no going back. I wonder if I could try to recover that simplicity, I mean, my emotions are already the simplest, maybe I should try it.

I see Luna come running towards me with her teddy in her hands along with Ginny behind her pouting. Could she have lost, maybe?

"Your brother seems serious and he doesn't smile anymore" Luna said to my sister in a low voice, but I could still hear him.

"He never laughs," Ginny replied, giving me a sneaky look.

"But he smiled when they came"

"Yes, but that was weird, it was the first time I saw him like that"

"He's sad?"

"No, he is always like this, he is like that"

"You asked him"

"Umm... no...?"

Luna approached me and while she slowly fingered my face she asked me

"You're sad?"

"No"

"Then why don't you laugh?"

"Can't"

"Why?"

"I find it difficult to feel and express emotions"

"It bothers you?"

"Mainly"

"Hurts?"

...

Ginny next to her was a little surprised. She seldom saw her brother talk to someone for so long, despite being small she is quite intelligent and noticed some things. Usually, when someone asks me so many consecutive questions that have no practical importance, I usually stop answering and go somewhere else.

Little Luna, although not as peculiar as her older counterpart, was still quite interesting. Perhaps her eye color with her look of interest in everything, or perhaps like me, she also had a certain aura around her that made her different from the others. I think I can even feel it, as if it were an intangible mist around her.

I feel that I would like to be able to be close to her, talking to her, I realize that the difficulty in communicating with others does not exist between us. I think that she is someone with whom I can establish real communication, in her own particular way, but it works for someone who can only give a few words to others.

"Can I get on your back" She asked casually with a smile that I couldn't deny.

"Yes"

I got down from my seat and bent down so that she could get on, once up she held my neck with her hands and shouted "run" as if I were a horse, and I started running. There was no reason, I simply wanted to see if I too I could have fun like them, holding her from her butt, so she doesn't fall. I went around several times with my sister following us from behind.

At one point I put her down and so Ginny could get on too because I knew she'd be sad if she didn't. I let them mount me twice each before stopping. Even though my body is enhanced by my skills, it was still too much for me, and I ended up so shaken that I thought my lungs would fall out.

I couldn't feel like I had as much fun as they did, but it did feel good just running around carrying them, seeing them happy also gave me a certain sense of satisfaction.

If I'm not mistaken, Luna also chewed on my hair a bit while she was riding me. I think I have a bit of slime in my hair, but I don't want to find out.

Sweaty and tired, we returned to look for our mothers while the sky began to turn red with the sunset.

Our mothers looked at us in amazement, it seems that mom didn't expect me to actually play with them due to how I behave and stay away from others in my house when they want to play, but after her amazement I could see that she was a little happy.

We left soon after because Mom had to cook and the Lovegoods also had to get ready for dinner.

When we got home, mom asked me what I thought of the trip, to which I only replied with "interesting". Unlike Luna, it is still difficult for me to talk to others, although Ginny, hearing me talk so much today, also tried to talk to me. I tried much harder to be able to try to be able to answer her, although it was not as good as this afternoon I can still say that I did my best.

Mom already wanted to start organizing meetings with other children so that we can play or go out with my brothers, it's practically "you shake hands, and they grab your elbow". She only saw me behave more normally today, and she already expected me to become the popular boy, I understand why she acts like that, but it's still annoying.

I turned down everything she wanted me to do, but told her that if she goes to the Lovegoods' in the future I'd be interested in going. She accepts, perhaps realizing that she had gotten too excited and was asking too much.

Dinner that night was mainly about how, today, the strange Red seems to have finally found a friend and played like a normal child. It was mostly jokes from my brothers and comments from my parents hoping it would stay that way, I just kept eating my food in silence.

...

Meanwhile, at the Lovegood House, the family of three was having dinner when Mrs. Lovegood asked her daughter.

"How did you spend today, my love"

"Well, we play a lot" The girl replied happily

"What did you think of Ginny's brother?" She wanted to know, intrigued by what her daughter thought of such a peculiar child.

"His hair tastes funny" she said before putting food back in her mouth.

...

Today was my birthday and Ron's, our family celebrated like every year,but there were no guests besides the Diggory and Lovegood family. During the party, I only talked to Luna a bit and then stayed apart from the others, mainly because I didn't respond to anyone's attempts to start small talk when they came to congratulate me.

I finish relatively quickly and the guests left before ten o'clock at night, by eleven o'clock I was already in bed. I'm about to activate my [Sleep] skill to have a safe sleep, but a window appeared before me again, which means a new skill is available. I may not be able to have many moments of joy due to my condition, but every time one of these prompts appears, I feel like I can feel a little excitement inside me.

[Auxiliary: Skill "Merchant" obtained]

-A merchant will appear in certain nearby areas on random days at night, you can buy and sell items with him. Only you or people who accompany you while you look for it will be able to perceive it-

'Well, I've finally opened the store' Just as I thought of the store, a message appeared in the upper left of my vision.

-There are 13 days left for the arrival of the merchant-

Well it's a bit long, but I don't have money or things to sell either, so I'll leave it for now and go to sleep...

Almost two weeks passed and some events happened.

The day after our birthday, our parents took us all to see Diagon Alley. We had never all gone before because we were very young, and it would be difficult to control so many children. When arrived, we stopped at a candy store and our parents gave us a couple of knuts each, which was rare for the family economy, but I guess it was a special day.

What happened is that when I picked up my two kuts a window appeared.

[Auxiliary: "Purse" skill obtained]

People never wondered how the characters in the video game don't need some horses to pull the cars with the 30,000 gold coins they carry, because I do, it's not logical to be able to carry so much just in your pockets.

So this ability would be an answer. It is practically an infinite space only for money, where I can save and withdraw cash from it without any limit. This way, I no longer have to worry about getting my own vault at Gringotts, as I am now my own walking vault.

Another remarkable event happened. It was a day when I quarreled with my family due to...mainly my personality. I think my way of being stresses them out a bit, and they end up exploding from time to time. Mainly my older brothers, possibly the rebelliousness of their entry into adolescence don't go well with my complete indifference.

That day, I ran away from home and went looking for Luna because I wanted someone to talk to, and she was the only one with whom I could share more than a few words.

-Flashback-

When I arrived at the door of the Lovegood house, which I must say was not as close as one might think, I saw how Pandora opened the door surprised with my arrival.

"Hello Red, did you come alone today?" She asked, a little confused.

"Yes"

"Do your parents know you're here?"

"No"

"Did you run away?"

"Yes"

"... I'm going to tell your mother that you're here, so she doesn't worry"

"Luna?" I said after a while, without responding to her earlier statement.

"... yes, you can look for her in her room"

Pandora began to write on a parchment to send it with her owl to her friend and notify of my arrival. Meanwhile, I went upstairs to see the only one I could talk to...

Now we were in the garden of the house, me leaning against the root of the tree where I had installed myself the previous times, while Luna was rocking on a wooden unicorn.

"You're sad?" She asks, however, I also affirm at the same time.

"A little" I replied dejectedly.

"Why?"

"I quarreled with my family"

"It was their fault?"

"No"

"yours?"

"No"

"And why did you fight?"

"Perhaps, it was the fault of both... we are very different, and we don't get along very well"

"Do you hate them?"

"No... they don't hate me with everything I do, it's very difficult for me to hate them when they still love me after being the way I am"

"You want them too"

"Yes, that is the truth. They have given me a home and despite all the conflicts, they are still my family. But I don't know if they know, I can't even have a full conversation with them like you and I do"

"Do you think they'll hate you if you don't talk to them?"

"Maybe they'll get tired of me at some point. I wouldn't blame them, and even if I wanted to, maybe I can't feel bad about it. I don't remember crying or feeling strongly sad at any time now that I think about it"

"Don't you like not being sad?"

"I don't like not being able to feel everything I should. I can't be completely sad even if I want to, I can't be happy, and worst of all, I can't explain or make my situation understand to anyone, because I can't express the slightest emotion and I don't I can say more than a few words to make them understand the least. It makes me feel that I am surrounded by people but at the same time I am very alone" a slight anger and despair arose in me but almost imperceptible

"But you can talk to me"

"Yes, you are the only one with whom I don't feel incapable of communicating, being able to get everything I think out there so that it doesn't exist only in my mind" I sighed.

Little Luna got off the unicorn and approached me, she hugged me tightly while she told me "Then you are not alone". I could feel how her words lifted a weight off me and the pleasant warmth of her hug. It may not have been much, but I know that so far, it was one of the most pleasant emotions I have ever felt.

We continued embracing for a while talking about many other children's issues that, despite my maturity, I was able to enjoy a lot. I spent some more time in our world without knowing that a certain blonde witch who had used a camouflage spell to listen to the children's conversation was coming back to her house to write another letter.

I left Luna's at sunset without notifying her parents of my departure, and ended up returning to my home in the dark. When I arrived, my mother came up to me and hugged me without saying a word, I returned the hug, and we stayed like that for a while.

I had a talk with her that I should never doubt that they loved me, and then they let me go to sleep. It is very nice to be able to belong to a family that loves you.

-End Flashback-

The day after that event, I was taken to a mediwizard, who again found nothing wrong with me. To later take me to a Legilimency expert who asked my parents if I had been practicing Occlumency, to which they denied along with me. He said that every time he tries to get into my mind I give the feeling that I can achieve some result, but that he is never able to really reach it and that it would be impossible even for the best to see anything inside my head, he could not find any problem or the origin of my peculiarity.

We returned with my parents dejected, but they showed a smile saying that everything was fine. It didn't bother me, I had already gotten used to it, besides I know something new, I don't need to learn Occlumency to protect my memories, since they are inaccessible.

"Every cloud has a silver lining"

...

It is tonight that the merchant arrives. I have prepared for this, while no one saw me I collected things that no one would notice if they disappeared. An almost unrecognizable book, some unripe tomatoes, a rope, a broken cup...

I also took today to hunt a gnome, I wanted to know if the merchant would accept living beings, maybe I can get rid of some vermin. It was a bit difficult to do it without my brothers noticing, but I managed it, my blood magic continues to strengthen me giving me good physical abilities; for a child. I ended up leaving him tied up inside a broken trunk that was dumped in the yard.

I also caught some spiders and put them in a jar, Ron must be thankful since Fred and George scared him with one when he was little, he can barely see them.

The time is coming, everyone is sleeping, and I am waiting in the kitchen as quietly as possible. It's time to go out, so I take all the things I collect in a bag and leave the house without making any noise.

I thought it would take me some time to find it, since the ability only said in 'nearby areas' but as soon as I went out to the courtyard, in the distance I could see a light next to what looked like a carriage, which in the middle of the night would be very remarkable if someone besides me could see it.

I went to the trunk in the courtyard and took the gnome, he had almost freed himself from the bonds, but I arrived just in time. I dragged him along with the rest, and we came to the front of the carriage.

It was quite stylish, it was long with four pairs of wheels, fine wood walls with a bright green circular roof, it was being pulled by only two horses and a man was standing next to one of the side walls of the cart. Dressed in a video game merchant robe whose face could not be clearly distinguished. Not that it was the darkness of the night, you just couldn't tell his face from any other, the only thing you could tell was that he seemed to have a perpetual smile.

The man approached one of the carriage walls and lifted it up to form a small roof. Inside the carriage several shelves could be seen, most of which were empty, and on one side there seemed to be a cash register next to a large rectangular tray.

I tried to ask the seller, but he did not give any answer, he just opened his hands to the sides as a sign of greeting every time he spoke to him and kept that eternal smile. It was practically like talking to the wall, and I began to understand why my brothers were angry with me. 'My god, I'm very upset if I'm the same as this merchant.'

Looking at what was on the shelves, which wasn't much, I realized it was nothing else than candy, particularly the candy I'd seen in Diagon Alley, I guess it's because it's the only store I visited when we were there. 'Shit' if I knew that the merchant would sell things from other stores, I would have made a point of visiting the others when we went out.

This is something else to do in the future. I stood in front of the rectangular tray, if I'm not mistaken, the objects to sell would be placed here... Put the damaged book first, when I did, a window appeared that said "1 Knut" it seems that it was too damaged to be worth more. Press accept, and I could see how in the image of my purse ability one was added to my knuts.

I kept putting up the things he brought, some of them weren't even worth a knut to me, but I got a little for the others. When I sold the jar of spiders he gave me 20 knuts, but when it disappeared, three of the thirteen spiders in the jar were left on the tray, I guess some things sell for multiples of ten or other amounts.

The thing that gave me the most profit was the gnome, they gave me a gallon for it. Quickly, I went to look for other gnomes at night, it was very difficult, but I managed to catch one that was sleeping in his burrow. He bit me in the process, but I still took him to the carriage, I couldn't sell him when I put him on the tray, I guess because unlike the previous one he wasn't immobilized, so... beat him unconscious, and so if I could sell him, only this time I only got 14 and a half sickles. 'Damn it, I can't take advantage of repeatedly selling the same product.'

With nothing else to do, I just bought some sweets to have with me and went back to my house. But when I got there I was surprised to realize that Ginny was watching from the open door and managed to see me coming from afar. I tried my best to talk to her and asked her.

"Ginny, what are you doing awake?"

"I was looking for you to sleep. What are you doing outside? Where do you come from?"

"I went out for a while" then I took out a piece of candy from my pocket and offered it to her "Secret?"

"Yes, secret" I take the candy happily. I was relieved a little, of all my siblings I trusted Ginny the most to keep my secrets.

"Come on" I said as I carried her inside and laid her down on her bed. I used my abilities to put her to sleep and headed to my room.