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I died

I don't know how or when it happened.

I lived a life of stagnation, wake up, work, play games, sleep and repeat. It did not matter what I did, I never found something that truly satisfied me. I tried everything, but nothing could fill the void in my heart.

So I was not sad or regretting my death, but I do wonder how it happened. There was no accident or sickness as far as I remember. As a matter of fact I can't remember anything, similar to trying to remember the exact time when you fell asleep. It is at the tip of your tongue, but you can't pinpoint it exactly.

Enough about my past. The important thing is where I am currently. I looked around, but there was nothing, just a void without any light.

"Hmm."

I heard a voice that came from above, but could not see anything after looking up.

"What do we have here." Now the voice was closer. At the same time I could feel something lock me in place, like I was paralyzed.

Helpless.

Powerless.

My heart started to beat anxiously. The feeling reminded me of my life and i did not like it.

The being spoke again, "I see…. Would you like to be reborn in a new world with infinite possibilities? A world in which you could achieve anything you want? A world where you would not be limited by your Humanity?"

I did not know if this is God or something else, but the words it spoke lit a fire in my heart. And still being unable to move made my thirst for power and control even stronger.

"So a yes. You will go to the world of Harry Potter, but I am not so benevolent to give you some wishes. No you will also loose your memories of your last life, everything that made you, you will be gone. But I do pity you that is why I will let you keep the memories of Harry Potter and some basic knowledge."

With these last words spoken my vision began to blurr and I heard a twisted chuckle that could only come from a devil.

----

In a hospital in London a woman was giving birth, but not to any baby boy. He was different, he did not cry, but instead looked curiosly at the white room he was in, at the people in the staff uniform and finally at the sweating and out of breath woman. The baby's gaze was interrupted by a nurse, who cleaned the newborn and wrapped him in a blanked.

"Do you have a name for him.", she asked, while handing the baby to the mother.

She took the baby and looked lovingly into his brown eyes. "His name will be Lucas Harold Foster." After hearing this the baby started to giggle and try to reach for his mother with his tiny hand. The mother naturally reached for the hand. Holding it gently she spoke, "You get your first name from your father and the second one from your grandpa." The woman smiled warmly, but if you looked closely you would be able to see sadness in her eyes, for her son would never be able to meet another family member apart from her.

----

4 Years Later

It has been pretty boring, because the "basic" knowledge the questionable being let me keep was basically up to university level, meaning I didn't fit in with the other children. There also was this nagging feeling at the back of my mind that I have forgotten something that I shouldn't have, yet I couldn't put my finger on it. Luckily, over time it went away.

Regardless, this in turn made me seem like a very antisocial person. But I think you would also rather play by yourself than with some obnoxius toddlers that try to eat everything and have no control over their bladder.

On the family side I found out my father had died in a car accident and my mother, Sophia, took the money from the life insurance to quit her job and raise me. My grandparents on the other hand died long before my birth. So you could say that my mother was the only social relationship I had.

All in all, my time till now was pretty fulfilling, my mother and I visited the local park frequently, since I liked the fresh air and relaxing atmosphere and there were usually no annoying toddlers that tried to play with me.

And then finally my fourth birthday came. It was saturday morning.

"Happy birthday Lucas!", mom said with a smile on her face, as I was sitting in front of a cake, "It's your favourite, chocolate cheesecake." "Thanks.", I said giving her a smile back. After taking one strong breath I blew all four candles out and wished for my magic to manifest soon. My mom then cut me a piece and then one for herself. "It's a shame you didn't invite any of your pre-school friends.", mom sighed quietly. "You already know I don't fit in there." I replied. "Yeah, yeah my little genius doesn't make friends easily, I know. You should still try, do it for me, will you ?" I looked at her for a moment and replied, "Ok, I will try, but no promises." "That's my boy, just try and see what happens.", said my mom.

I waited all day in anticipation, but nothing happened. In the evening I got a little worried but calmed myself immediately afterwards 'I am certain tomorrow will be the day'. With difficulty falling asleep I tried to reassure me that some people just need longer. 'Neville is a pureblood and even he took longer'. With a few more comforting words I finally fell asleep. The next day I waited again, but still nothing.

After a week of only letdowns my mood began to visibly worsen. I began to snap at my pre-school classmates. Stopped being the polite but antisocial loner and instead neither payed attention in class nor did my homework perfectly.

After the second week the school called my mom, to inform her of my worsening condition. So she came to my room to have a good talk. "Sweety what's bothering you.", she started. "Nothing", I replied a little rudely. She intently looked at me and said a moment later in a soft tone, "If nothing is wrong then you wouldn't mind moving a little so I can sit on your bed, would you?" "Of course not, mom.", I said now back in my normal voice. And so we sat there in silence. A few minutes later I couldn't stay still any longer, "You know the feeling when you really want something to happen, but it never does. And you just keep on waiting, because you can't accept that it's not happening."

Now in an even softer tone, while bringing her arm over my shoulder, pushing me into her, giving me a sideways hug, my mother said, "I felt the same when your father had that car accident, I waited by his bed for hours even though the doctors told me there was nothing they could do, but sometimes the heart doesn't listen to reason. We can't change how we feel, so just let it all out, you will feel better afterwards." After hearing these words I turned to my mother and embraced her fully. "You can always come and talk to me, you know that, right", she said, while stroking my back. I just nodded my head fearing that if I opened my mouth, I would start crying. 'Dear look at our son so young, but already so strong' she thought while looking at the ceiling. We stayed like this till I started to doze of to dreamland.

After a month of still trying even after that talk, I had to face the reality that I am a muggle in the world of Harry Potter. It was earth-shattering. I could see my whole future crumbling down.

That I would not experience the wonders of magic.

That I would be stuck in this world out of reach of the other hidden one.

That I could be subject to some random wizard's whim without even knowing it.

Helpless

Powerless

Just like before my reincarnation.

With that realization I broke down in the middle of my room.

"It's not fair"

"Why me"

I screamed and cried, drowning in those feelings.

At the same time in the living room was a woman reading the newspaper, when she heard her son screaming. She instantly jumped up from the sofa and ran to her son's room. Opening the door she saw him curled up on the floor in the fetal position. Without hesitation she sprinted to him and tried to get a response from him by shaking his shoulders. "I am here Lucas, everything's alright", she tried to comfort him.

I could see my whole future flashing before me, stuck in an office job with no way out. But I grit my teeth and tried to fight these feelings with all my might. Suddenly something clicked in my chest and I could feel something hot travel through my body, expelling all negative feelings.

It felt intoxicating.

I felt powerful, like I could punch a hole through concrete. But then I heard someone whimper and I opened my eyes, just to see my mother standing there with her arms burned up to her shoulders.

Every thought in my head vanished. Rooted in place I could do nothing but stare at her arms. "Everything's alright, I am here for you", I heard the limitless love in her voice and looked into her eyes. 'How can I deserve this, this love, when I have done nothing with my live up to now. When I have not given anything back and instead just lazed around.'

'Pathetic', snapping back to reality I couldn't hold back my tears any longer.

"I am sorry" "I am sorry" "Iam sorry" "im sorry" "sorry" "sorry", a slurr of sorrys is all I could get out.

A blurred vision and the pain of hurting the one person that has done everything for me prevented me from noticing that my mother was staring at her arms that got healed with every tear that fell on them, until only her hands were left a little scarred. When she finally snapped out of her gaze she fully embraced me and stroked my back, while again saying that everything is alright.

Eventually I passed out of exhaustion.