1 Reborn

It was a day like any day Anthony had an existential crisis like usual. Anthony was just browsing the webs bored out of his mind, when he decided he had enough he picked up a book. One he hadn't read in ages; Harry Potter. He always liked the books. The nostalgia it gave him was a bittersweet feeling. One he would never be able to fully recall but could still faintly feel in the back of his head. He always thought that when he turned 11 he would finally get his letter, and go on his own journey.

Alas, that was not permitted. He wasn't happy with the path that he had taken in his life. He used to be very outgoing and in essence a social butterfly but now he barely had any friends except those he had online of course. But in the end it wasn't enough. He felt lonely. He couldn't conjure enough motivation to work anymore and because he didn't get anything done he didn't have the motivation to learn or do anything.

It was a downwards spiral. One that didn't seem to end, he had hope for a little while. He listened to advice from his parents and his so-called friends in the past. The advice worked for a little bit. He would feel motivated to do stuff again and work on himself. But when he couldn't get over a hurdle he would break down.

His friends called him weak. A slob, puny, fragile. The list was infinite. So his friends turned bullies all left him leaving him worse than before. His parents dis-owned him. His family didn't let him attend his mother's funeral. He would still cry for her and he hated himself. He wanted to do more, truly. He stood up and looked around.

His room was a mess, clothes from yesterday were lying everywhere. One even managed to find it's way on the top of his shelf. He went to the bar yesterday, the faint aroma of liquor was still palpable in the air around him. He wasn't a hopeless virgin or something of the likes he just didn't have any confidence in himself and his abilities.

If someone calls you useless enough times you start to believe it. Anthony let out a big sigh and decided to take a shower. He observed himself in the mirror. There were multiple scars on his arms due to his failed suicide attempts. Anthony laughed to himself. Imagine being called a loser just after you failed to kill yourself. What a joke.

Speaking of jokes, Anthony was always great with hiding his pain through jokes. He wasn't voted class clown in year 11 for nothing. He actually enjoyed this, it alleviated the pain in some ways and brightened up his day by seeing others laugh.

But people become more and more serious when they grow up and by the time Anthony was an adult no one laughed at his jokes anymore. Now everyone called him a clown without the 'class' in front of it. Maybe it's due to the fact Anthony worked at a law firm and that everyone was always very grave there.

''Enough'' said Anthony whilst he slapped his face with both of his hands. He had enough of his somber thoughts and finally awakened from his depressed slumber. He now actually took a real look at himself. He had dark curly hair with a little blonde edge to them.He didn't grow his hair out though because he didn't like his curls. His eyes were dark green with a grey edge to them. When he was younger his grandma always said he had wise eyes. Whatever that meant.

He had a soft brow with a shallow arch. His cheekbones were sharp, they were a prominent part of his face. His upper lip was thin whilst his bottom lip was a little plump. It didn't look odd but actually made him look more handsome. He had a very thin face structure which made his cheekbones stand out all the more. His jaw was protruding. He always was very fond of his jaw line. He had a generally lean figure, not too trained but also not too fat.

Anthony decided he wanted to watch a few episodes of Naruto while he was in the bath so he got his charger and his laptop and filled up the bath. He really liked being in the bath. Time seemed to slow down and he could finally relax and forget about anything else in the world.

Anthony got undressed and lay down. The temperature was just great, it was heaven. The heat of the bath took his depression away for a minute and seemed to warm his heart up for a little while. He wasn't lying so comfortable though so he decided to shift positions.

In the act of Anthony changing positions his laptop seemed to lose it's balance and tumbled forward into the water. Anthony almost died immediately and the last thought in his mind were his regrets. All his regrets. And even those fleeting thoughts disappeared. Because in the end, does it matter when you're dead?

Anthony died at age 21, with no friends and no family.

''HELLO THERE''

A voice boomed loudly. The voice resonated in Anthony's whole being. It almost felt like every fibre in his body was torn apart to be put back into place again. It was excruciating but also calming in a way. I mean he was already dead what could they do to him now? Tickle him to death? Unlikely.

Anthony responded with a simple ''General Kenobi!''. Anthony could hear the void chuckle. 'Was the void a Star Wars fan?' Anthony thought to himself. The void continued ''Hello there puny soul, I've decided we should go for a little walk, do you mind?''

There wasn't much else to do so Anthony just decided to agree with the void and they began walking in silence. After a short while the void/God/ethereal being/ whatever the fuck it wants to be started talking

''Really? No questions? You think meeting with God would be interesting enough to ask something. Most just break down and cry and wail 'Why me' which to be honest is very entertaining but you remain silent, why?''

Anthony carefully listened to God's words and answered His question ''I have no questions because I don't think you've done anything wrong, but also not anything right. Everything in life was my own doing. My regrets and winnings are entirely my own. The only question I can think of is what now? Do I just walk here for eternity or are you giving me a new purpose?''

God looked at Anthony. Oh well 'looked. You couldn't be sure if He looked anywhere since He was just a ball of light. Anthony fantasised of kicking him around like a football and this made Anthony laugh.

If God could give Anthony a straight face then he surely was doing it now ''You fantasised of kicking me around didn't you" God said accusingly.

''No definitely not'' Anthony said whilst continuing to laugh. ''You dare lie to God?'' God said menacingly but there was no threatening undertone. The ball called God started to vibrate a little, which might be laughing or a chuckle but Anthony couldn't pin it for one or the other.

Suddenly another ball appeared out of nowhere this one was black opposed to the yellow/white ball that was God. ''Hey this one isn't crying like a little bitch'' The black ball said clearly surprised.

''Yeah this one is a little weird, might have a screw loose'' God started to vibrate again and now Anthony was sure it was laughing. ''Yeah he looks like it, he's naked after all.'' Anthony didn't notice he was naked until now but this appearance must've taken the form of when he died.

The black ball swoop down in front of Anthony's private part area and starting talking in a baby voice ''Who's a good little worm, yes you are, awwww.'' God/Yellow ball started vibrating louder now. He clearly enjoyed black ball's antics. Who I've decided to call the Devil now because he's a son of a bitch.

The devil hushed at God. ''Ssshhhh. You'll wake it up.'' Anthony had enough of both of their antics and yelled ''Hey! I'm right here little shit bean!'' The devil backed up a bit and floated next to God. ''Oooh he has fire in him. Can i keep him?'' The black ball said pleadingly.

''Hahah, no no, he's really depressed he'll get boring after a while'' God answered cheekily. ''Okay now I'm done with all these fucking balls in this fucking void'' Anthony procedeed to kung-fu kick the black ball out of the air, and by his surprise his foot connected with the black ball.

The black ball quickly floated back to God's side ''Ow, not cool man I thought we were friends.'' The black ball clearly wasn't comfortable anymore and was sort of shuffling at his position. If I could make a black ball blush I apparently achieved that.

''What's up with him?'' Anthony asked God. ''Oh yeah, he's uhm, what do you call that in your world, a masochist of some sort. He gets off by being kicked around and used like trash'' God answered casually.

Ah so the Devil was a kinky freak good to know that. Anthony looked around awkwardly ''So uhm, what now?''

''Well I think we should give you some treat for entertaining us, it has been a long time since a human entertained us after all.'' God responded now looking at the black ball.

The black ball added ''Oh yeah good idea! He's definitely better than those suicide bombers that come to the gates of heaven and start crying for salvation''

God chuckled ''Yeah you're especially fond of blowing those up aren't you. Kind of ironic blowing them up when they already died in that way'' The black ball was moving around a lot right now he was clearly enjoying himself.

''Yeah! I like it when they turn into confetti!'' The black ball added. 'I must get away from these freaks as quick as possible' Anthony thought to himself. ''What about my reward?'' Anthony inquired.

''Oh yes of course! Hmm, what about reincarnation? You would make for a really good dog I just know it!'' God said ecstatically.

''No come on not fair. Atleast make him a human again. And even if you wanted to do that. It's not possible to turn a human into a dog. Their soul would combust because they're being turned into another form.'' The black ball countered.

''Yes, like confetti, right! You just said you liked confetti, but I get your point. How about that book he was reading before he died. That might be a good reward for him.'' God said whilst he was thinking out loud.

''I didn't know you'd be taking the star from Humans Greatest Bloopers 2021 to the void though. The way he died was just hilarious'' The black bull jumped a little up and down apparently chuckling in some sort of way.

''I was on a TV Show?'' Anthony asked. He couldn't believe it. He thought he was in private but Godly beings were watching him while he died and apparently he was on some sort of comedy TV show. He lifted his hands in front of his face due to embarrassment.

''Yeah you were voted number 1 of the 2021 season! No small feat must I say so myself'' The black ball answered him.

Suddenly God interrupted them both ''I've decided! You'll be reborn in the world of Harry Potter. You can leave this void at any time you want all you have to say is: Beam me up Scotty!.''

Anthony's face couldn't be any less unamused. ''Seriously? That's what your all-knowing mind went with? Of all the possibilities?''

''Yes.'' God replied. ''I'll throw in a special ability but I won't tell you. Otherwise it would be no fun of course. Now good day.'' God drifted off in the distance and disappeared. The black ball aka the Devil looked at Anthony for one last time and said ''We will watch your career with great interest.'' and with those words he drifted off.

Well I guess I'll just have to do this. YOLO after all, Oh wait, That might not be too accurate anymore. And with those last thoughts Anthony embarked on a new journey.

''Beam me up Scotty''

And Anthony was reborn.