7 Machines Meet Magic

The line delivery wasn't exactly George's BAFTA-winning performance, but it was enough to get his family out of Stowe & Packers Magical Bags. The Linwoods ended up aimlessly walking around the market and perusing the shops' goods, but nothing particularly caught their eye. Although there were a lot of stores at Carkett Market, none of them specialised in back-to-school equipment.

Sensing the awkward atmosphere, Remus took the initiative to suggest heading back to Diagon Alley. Whilst the family were about to head back down the winding cobbled path, George had one last look around and spotted a purple shop that differed from the rest. It was called the Museum of Muggle Curiosities, and it was getting the same lack of attention as Parkers' store.

To absolutely no one's surprise, muggle culture must not have been interesting to the wizarding world. The whole concept of a muggle museum seemed intrinsically flawed in George's opinion. The best thing muggles had to offer was electricity, and electronic products didn't work in magic-rich areas. How could someone demonstrate muggle ingenuity without the ability to turn anything electric on?

George halted in his steps as a new idea popped into his head.

"Have you seen something?", Dominic asked after almost walking into George's back.

George turned around and asked, "is it possible we could have a quick look inside there before we leave?"

Remus stopped and had a look at the odd building. Once he realised what the museum was presenting, his face scrunched up in befuddlement.

"Why do you want to look in there? It's just going to have a bunch of old junk you'd probably find in your grandma's attic", Remus jokingly advised.

"Do you think they might sell muggle items which are bewitched with magic?", George asked.

Remus shrugged, "it's feasible. I used to know a wizard who collected muggle stuff years ago, he probably still does now I've come to think about it. I think he used to bewitch them as a hobby. But George, You have to understand that electronic products don't work around wizards and witches unless they're powered with magic. That's why you can't take electronic scales to Hogwarts and instead have to use old-fashioned brass ones."

George's face lit up after hearing confirmation of his theory, "I do understand, but I would still like to have a quick look around. That's if everyone else doesn't mind?"

Amanda smiled at George, "we can have a quick look. It will be... interesting seeing what wizards think of our modern technology."

As they walked towards the museum, Ellie started to drag her feet and deliberately slow down Amanda. The little girl had slowly been turning into a shackle to his foster mother and was making her life a lot harder than it needed to be. Her obstinance was most likely due to a mixture of being ignored all day and having to walk past every store she wanted to enter.

Just like in Gringotts bank, Remus made a proposal, "maybe I should take Mrs Linwood and Ellie to Sugarplum's Sweets Shop while Mr Linwood and George are in the museum."

After hearing Remus's suggestion, Dominic saw the look on Ellie's face and didn't waste any time pulling out his Gringotts pouch and handing it over to Amanda. And so the family split up once again, leaving the father and son duo to enter the museum alone.

The interior of the museum was decorated just like an art exhibition. There was 'artwork' positioned on wooden plinths and hanging from chains on the walls. The display pieces consisted of many twenty-year-old or more items such as; televisions, desk lamps, microwaves, electric fans and a trouser press from a three-star hotel.

George could just about hear familiar music coming from the opposite end of the room. He walked over to a door labelled with multiple 'STAFF ONLY' stickers. The sound was unquestionably coming from the other side. George couldn't have been sure at first, but now, he could recognise the 'modern' music. It was Bob Marley singing Buffalo Soldier. Now all he needed was a reason to convince Dominic to let him go through this door.

Then Dominic walked right past George and pushed the door open, "I wonder what's back here?"

Well, that was easy.

George hesitatingly asked, "erh... isn't that room for staff only? The door said..."

"I find that asking for forgiveness can be more productive than asking for permission. Otherwise, you'd never get anywhere in life", Dominic interrupted while striding into the room.

He paused and looked back at George, "don't tell Amanda that I said that."

Since Dominic didn't seem to mind, George followed his foster father into the poorly lit room and was more than pleased to find himself in a wizard-muggle technological hybrid workshop. The walls were full of dismantled electronics similar to the ones in the museum. There was a massive table rapping around the perimeter of the room covered with tools ranging from; spanners, screwdrivers, manual drills and a woodworking lathe.

And in the far corner of the room, besides a broken Commodore 64, was a nineteen eighties boombox deformed beyond all recognition. It was a Frankenstein hybrid of old and new music-playing devices. There were parts of a hundred-year-old windup record player bolted onto the side of it like a wooden tumour. Instead of Bob's smooth voice flowing out of the boombox's speakers, it was coming out of the big brass horn sticking out of the top.

As George was wondering who he had to thank for making this... thing, a woman in her mid-twenties absentmindedly walked into the workshop. George and Dominic both turned around at the same time to see her struggle to drag a washing machine through the narrow doorway. She pushed it into the room with a great deal of difficulty, closed the door, and wiped the sweat off her brow before noticing the two intruders. Oddly enough, she looked neither angry nor surprised to see them.

"Oh please tell me that my mother-in-law didn't send you… I'll pay her back next month… I promise", she begged between gasps for air.

Hagrid might have said muggles stood out in a crowd of wizards, but this woman was on another level. She looked like the byproduct of a nineteen-eighties hippy melding with a victorian era clockmaker. There were so many conflicting styles that it was near impossible to put it into words. For example, who would have ever thought to pair a psychedelic t-shirt with a tweed waistcoat? Or what about bell-bottom jeans and a leather bum bag full of brass magical tools?

The second crazy lady of the day locked eyes with George, "okay... I don't think my mother-in-law would send a child, sooo..."

She turned to Dominic, "you're here for the museum?"

Dominic stepped forward with an outstretched hand, "good afternoon. My son and I have been having a great time exploring your establishment."

Instead of returning the handshake, the woman squinted her eyes at Dominic. She was looking at him like she had recognised him but couldn't quite remember his name.

"You wouldn't happen to be a muggle, would you?", she asked hesitantly.

Dominic assumed a more defensive posture, "yes I am. Is that going to be a problem?"

She lunged forward, grabbed Dominic's hand, and began shaking it like a lunatic. The sudden 'attack' caused Dominic to almost punch back with his opposite arm, but he stopped after seeing the joy on the woman's face. There wasn't the slightest sign of malicious intent in her wide twinkling eyes. If anything, she looked delighted with Dominic being a muggle. Although, the mad rambling she was spouting while waving Dominic's hand up and down wasn't helping to ease the tension.

"I can't believe it, it finally happened. A muggle in my museum, a real muggle. I'll have to take a photograph and frame it. Oh, what a momentous day, what a lovely day", she spoke manically while staring into nothingness.

The fist about to be planted into the crazy lady's face was changed into a pair of snapping fingers as Dominic attempted to get her attention.

"Excuse me. It's nice meeting you too, but you can stop shaking my hand now", he asked with a raised voice.

The woman's glazed-over eyes regained their focus, and she abruptly ended the 'handshake'. She took a big step back and nearly fell over her washing machine. It took a few more seconds for her to recompose herself and finally face Dominic with a reddening complexion.

With a look of embarrassment, she apologised, "I'm so sorry for that. I can just get a bit... over-excited sometimes. It's for the best if I start this again..."

She straighten herself up and adjusted her long blonde hair before continuing, "hello, I'm Sheena Layla, the owner of this muggle museum. Here you can find all the necessities muggles use on a daily basis. From machines that can automatically clean the dishes to moving pictures for endless entertainment, there's no end to their ingenuity."

"Oh right, now that I think about it. I guess, as a muggle, I didn't need to tell you that", she awkwardly concluded.

Dominic shook his head, "not at all. Motivation is one of the key requirements to run a business successfully, and I can see that you have that in spades."

"I wish my mother-in-law thought the same way", Sheena murmured before saying enthusiastically, "anyway... so what can I help you with today? Do you want a tour?"

"That's very kind of you, but my son and I have already had a good look around. We wouldn't...", Dominic began to politely decline.

Her excitement ramped up another notch, "really, what did you think? You're the first muggle visitors I've had, so I would appreciate your honest feedback. I would hate to think I'm giving the wrong impression of what modern muggle life is like."

"Are you sure you want my opinion?", Dominic asked.

Sheena nodded her head eagerly, "most definitely. It's the most surefire way to determine how good of a job I'm doing representing them... I mean your people's lives."

Dominic looked around Sheena's workshop, focusing on all the rubbish one would expect to see at a second-hand charity shop, before speaking his mind.

"Alright then", Dominic agreed, "don't get me wrong, it's all interesting stuff that I haven't seen in a while. But, for a museum about 'modern muggle life', some of the exhibits are a little dated."

"Really? So muggles don't watch television and use microwaves to heat their food anymore", Sheena asked intensely.

"We still do, but things have come on a long way since the fifties. The television for example..."

While Dominic was keeping Sheena busy explaining the evolution of modern household products, George went back to inspecting the boombox. He wanted to see exactly what was powering this device and whether it would be difficult to replicate. There was a little brass catch holding a wooden hatch shut, and he could see glowing blue light leaking out of the gaps. He undid the catch, and the hatch fell open revealing an iron box with magical electricity arcing from two bolts on top.

George was kind of scared to touch it in case it randomly exploded. In the end, his curiosity overpowered his fear as he moved his hand inside the wooden recorder. The only way he was going to get a closer look is if he could pull the battery outside the boombox. Just as George was about to touch the iron box of sparks, Sheela's voice whispered into his right ear.

"Fascinating, isn't it?"

Whilst George had been in deep concentration, Sheena must have crept up on him. It took all of his restraint not to jump out of his skin and scream profanity back at her.

Sheena continued none the wiser, "the muggles have such an unusual taste in music, and each year they keep on coming out with something new that sounds nothing like the last. Not many wizards see the beauty of it, calling it just noise, but I think they're completely wrong."

George turned around slowly and saw Sheena and Dominic both looking down at him.

"I was just telling Mrs Layla about your interest in her boombox", Dominic said while winking at George.

George got the impression that his foster father was covering for him, "erh... yes, I am interested. Would you be willing to sell it, Mrs Layla?"

Sheena appeared to be quite pained by George's question, "this is one of my current prototypes, and I don't think I should be selling it to the public quite yet. I'm sorry, but..."

"Hold your horses, George. Are you sure you want to buy this... thing? You do realise that we have a nice boombox at home that's much more up-to-date than this", Dominic said whilst winking even more.

Okay, so George's foster father was trying to help him haggle. It was nice of Dominic to try and help, so George put on his best puppy eyes to melt Sheena's heart.

George looked at Dominic and said, "but Remus said that won't work at Hogwarts. If I don't find something that doesn't use electricity, I won't be able to listen to any music whilst I'm away."

After seeing his pleading eyes, Sheena eventually responded, "for an up-and-coming muggle music lover like yourself, I think I can make a compromise."

She spun around and pulled a heavy red toolbox from under one of the tables covered in capacitors and rubber belts. With a loud slam, Sheena dropped it onto the table, crushing everything underneath, and threw open the rusty lid.

"I've been working on a way to replicate muggle electricity with alchemy for the past three years, and most of my projects had a tendency to be a little... explody. It turned out that muggle tech and magic mixed about as well as whale oil and water", Sheena monologued while digging through the toolbox.

"Against my mother-in-law's wishes, I kept at it until I made a breakthrough six months ago. It turned out that I'd been thinking about it all wrong. Ah... there you are, you little devil."

She pulled out a little brass box, similar to the one in the boombox, and held it up against a gas lamp.

"Still looks good. Oh yeah, where was I?"

"You said that you'd had a breakthrough", Dominic answered.

"Ah yes, a breakthrough. See, I started to realise that maybe I should just learn how the muggle stuff works and then recreate it only out of alchemical ingredients. And BOOM... it exploded, at least for the first few times, but then it finally worked."

Sheena held the box up so George and Dominic could see, "take this for example. It's based on this big plastic thing called a twelve-volt lead acid battery I pulled out of a muggle car. The muggle battery was full of this clear oily stuff that really hurt when I spilt some on my arm, and that's how I learnt that muggles must use acid to make electricity.

So I did the only sensible thing and melted down a dozen Acid Pops from Honeydukes Sweetshop and distilled it until the liquid stung as much as the muggle acid. Then I rinsed and repeated that process for every component until I had this, my own fully functional battery."

She proceeded to pick up a screwdriver and laid it across the two bolts sticking out of the top of the box. Blue sparks, just like the ones inside the boombox, arced from the tip of the screwdriver. With a look of crazed pride, Sheena pulled the screwdriver away and threw the brass battery at Dominic.

"That's one of my older batteries that I don't need anymore. If you connect it to a battery-powered boombox like mine, it should turn on and work at Hogwarts. Well, what do you think?"

While Dominic was inspecting the battery, George asked Sheena, "why does your boombox look so weird if your battery works on anything?"

"That would be due to my ever-so-understanding mother-in-law", Sheena said while rolling her eyes.

"She didn't like me 'wasting my time' developing my world-changing projects unless there were galleons to be made. So to meet her demands, I had to start...", Sheena shivered before continuing, "marketing my work."

"The only business partner I could find didn't like the muggle-modern aesthetic, too many buttons and flashing lights apparently. He wanted more traditional stuff like brass horns and wood panelling. So that's why my current latest version looks so... special. Oh, who am I kidding, it's just awful", Sheena cried out hysterically.

Dominic looked up from Sheena's battery and asked her, "Mrs Layla, have you ever heard of a silent investor?"