Chapter 1

»October, 2012 [Mathias Miller].

It's funny the way we can get to know a person who will change our destiny completely, in this case, narrating someone else's life is how I get to understand my purpose of mine. Before him, it happened with disturbing tranquility, full of fears and a lot of anger. Carrying on my back the weight of not being able to protect someone I loved. Hiding in the guise of a taciturn, uneasy, and deeply silent being.

I thought I would be just another spectator in Sebastian Harrison's life, but it turned out to be the opposite, I went from being the recurring character in his life to being the one who occupied it.

"No one knows what his actions are like". I used to say, and now I understand.

After a week the worst is over, there are no more words to say, no more papers to sign. A week has passed and I still have that feeling that at any minute he will call me to ask me to come and see him.

It is strange.

At times I could only manage to think something like this, but now it's such a palpable and firm reality that I have no escape.

I start to gather his things, put his clothes in the suitcase and place his only pair of tennis shoes on one side. I walk to the kitchen and check the shelves.

-Damn," I exclaim when I see that all the medicines are still sealed.

He never dared to take them. I angrily put them in one of the boxes, and head for the bedroom. When I arrive I stop in the doorway as I look at the PlayStation controllers on the floor, it's inevitable not to remember that four weeks ago he was rubbing his Fifa victory in my face. I walk around the place and then pick up the papers from the table. I go through them one by one because they are important pieces of information.

-You were obsessed with this, Sebastian... I don't want to think that this is why you're in that place now.

The camera...

He takes it and I'm curious to see its contents, but I remember that I promised him not to. I leave it in its place and focus on finding all the documents he has asked me to keep.

My mobile phone rings, it's my mother.

I cut the call, and hurry.

I open every drawer, and grab all the CDs, stand up abruptly, and hit my head on the bookcase. Next to me falls a notebook, a book of sorts. I bend down to pick it up, realizing that it belongs to him; he's written things, dates, names, and places. I deduce that it's his diary, I never imagined him being the kind of person who wrote diaries.

My mother calls back.

I quickly grab everything, leave the room, awkwardly picking up the boxes. I have to take what I need. I don't think I'll be coming back to this place for a long time; I load the things into my van and exclusively place her diary on the passenger seat.

It's what I need to understand what I'm missing to start the Honesty Plan.

»Day. 1 [Sebastian's diary].

At twelve years old I was tired of moving out, of the life I had and what it had become. Mum with a court letter in hand and my dad making silent during the drive. But I was hating dad's stupid lawyer who came in the night before alarmed that you should move out of the house. I don't know whether to call it home, because we barely had a month in it. But it was settled, and we had to leave. They wouldn't let me say goodbye to my new friends, and in the early morning, we left town, like fugitives.

No one asked me if I agreed, no one bothered to ask little Sebastian's opinion. They just told me to get my things and get in the car.

I start with this event because it was when I came to Belisa, it was from the age of twelve that my life changed. I didn't have a normal education, I changed schools like changing shoes and that caused me to fall a year behind. I would love to be able to say that I knew my parents' business by that time, but I didn't, I found out sometime later by eavesdropping. I always knew strange things were going on at home, but my mum and dad always made sure I saw the nice things, the things they thought were important.

My arrival in this town, the most wonderful and the most terrible is marked by the day I met them.

One girl showed me love, and the other, pain.

»October, 2012 [Mathias Miller].

A stop by a roadside cafe made me flip through his diary. Part of a life I don't know about, but which he knew I would eventually discover. Maybe it was that plan from the beginning of our journey, he thought about it perhaps after the second beer or before devising our meeting. If anything has stayed with me about Harrison, it's that nothing about him was random.

I've dodged a couple of road cops, I've been on the run like a criminal, hiding things even from my parents. A seventeen-year-old kid has become a nomad and a document forger. I've had two lives, and I haven't even been able to live one in peace for the last year. But it's about time I had only one, and it's in Belisa, in the most miserable town this country has ever had.

-Mum, I'm home," I shout as I enter the house.

I leave the boxes in the hall for a few minutes and walk to the kitchen. I pour myself a glass of apple juice and try to calm down, I've been back and forth for days. Running around to doctors, and looking for papers. I don't think I've had time to fully experience everything that's been going on.

-Mathias, what is all this?

He heard my mother's voice coming from the hallway. Damn! I forgot I run quickly and when I get there I take the folders out of her hands.

-It's nothing, it's just stuff I'm keeping for a friend.

-I didn't know you had friends, you're usually very... shy.

-I do, well... I used to have.

-Ah?

-It's a long story, mum. In a few days, I have to take these to him, he's left town and as the removal van was very full he asked me to hold them for him and deliver them next week. There's nothing to worry about. -I kiss her on the forehead and go up to my room with the boxes.

I put the diary on the table and the rest in my wardrobe. I take off my shoes and climb into my bed, as I turn I look at the picture of my sister.

-He promised this would do you justice, I just have to be patient.

Since nothing escapes Sebastian, it was to be expected that he would make everything difficult for me. He forces me to go back to the school I hate and look at the people who destroyed it, who destroyed my little sister's soul and spirit. I have to face everything I've been avoiding this whole last year. Maybe this is part of his brilliant plan. I just hope she keeps her promise, I just hope that wherever she is, she keeps her fucking promise. I press down hard on the sheet and stop myself from crying.

What did you want from me, Sebastian Harrison?

»July 2011 [Sebastian Harrison].

I hold on tightly to the sink and try to control my breathing. I hate this feeling with all my might, it's as if I can't control what's happening to me, everything is spinning, I feel weak, my legs are weak and my nose is dripping with a disgusting red fluid.

-Are you all right, young man," it seems to be a nurse who asks, followed by two loud knocks on the door and a repetitive movement of the door handle.

I hastily grab some toilet paper and wipe my nose.

-Young man, are you all right?

-Yes, yes, I'm coming... Just a second," he announces and I look at myself in the mirror, "Just a second..." I repeat in a whisper as I stare at myself.

What the hell is happening to me?

-I'm afraid to ask him to come out immediately.

-Just a second!

I hastily take off my jumper and the shirt underneath, and with it, I clean all the blood from the washing. I turn on the tap and let it all run down the drain. Once I'm done, I turn off the tap; my shirt is a mess, completely covered in blood.

-I give you thirty seconds to get out," warns the woman behind the door.

I roll up my shirt and put the toilet paper I used on it, roll it up, and put only my jumper on. I pick up my backpack from the floor and put the shirt in it. Then I open the door.

The nurse looks at me and I smile at her as I fix my hair with my right hand. She looks away and looks around the bathroom, everything seems to be perfect.

-I have a consultation with Dr. Sergio Biancci, excuse me.

It was to be expected that she would react that way, given the alarming manner in which I had entered the toilet. It was the second time I had been confronted with something like this. And this time I was in a public hospital on the outskirts of town, feeling deeply afraid of what I might hear.

On the way to the doctor's office my mobile phone rings. It's an incoming call from Natalie, I take a deep breath and answer it.

-Hi clown," she greets euphorically and brings a half-smile to my face. She's been my best friend since I was twelve.

-Hi, Nita! Is everything okay?

-Yes, although I'm the one who should be asking that question. You've been behaving strangely for a lot of days, is everything all right?

-As well as it should be... -I immediately want to change the subject -Hey! How about tonight you and I go out alone, watch a movie or something? That way I make up for my strange behavior.

-I love it, of course, you do! Sebastian, just remembers that you're very important to me and I couldn't bear the thought of anything bad happening to you.

-Nothing bad is going to happen to me...-I hope so, although I'm not sure I'll be here to tease you until we're two old men with arthritis and wrinkles-I quickly hear his laughter and the anxiety I feel disappears.

-Okay, I love you," She hangs up the call before allowing me to answer her back.

I don't know how long I'll continue to lie to her, she thinks I'm at my aunt's house helping her with her roof repairs. Natalie has been my light in the darkness. She holds my soul in her hands and doesn't even notice.

Standing in the doorway of the office I read the gold-colored plate with the doctor's name and specialization:

Dr. Sergio Biancci- Oncologist

This is the second specialist I visit in a month, just answers. I take three breaths before entering the consulting room.

I put my hand on the doorknob and as I move the door I see Aunt Emma and the doctor seated. To my left are my X-rays and CT scans projected; to my right my aunt's crestfallen gaze lets me know there is no good news. I take a seat, place my backpack on the floor and rest my hands on my legs, leaning my back in the chair.

My aunt has posed as my legal guardian, I don't want my parents to find out because they would ask a lot of questions about why I was in the hospital that day, and I just want to keep them as far away from all this as possible.

-Mr. Harrison," the doctor speaks, "we've got the results back and I'm afraid I don't have good news.

As he speaks, my mind starts to bring back a lot of memories.

-The blood test showed a change and a sign of lymphoma. In the first instance, mononeukosis was suspected...

I remembered the Andrés Cruz party, how much I drank that night. Then the walk home every evening with Natalie.

-But in the bone marrow tests, and the TAC scan, the results were not what I expected...

Images of Camila, Miguel's terrified scream, and the bloody game played in my mind.

-I regret to inform you that we found the presence of leukemic cells in your body. You present with a degree of chronic myeloid leukemia...

At this moment my world begins to crumble and all the memories of bad things come crashing down on me.

-It is something that can be controlled because of how slowly it progresses, you simply have to follow the treatment and you will see that there is hope... but if you don't do it, there are very high risks, your life...

I remember what I promised Nita a few minutes ago, my promise to be old won't be kept and maybe I deserve it, maybe this is what I have to pay for what I did.

-Sebastian! Sebastian, darling," my aunt calls out and I look at her, "you must at least say something.

What am I supposed to say?

They stare at me, I look at them, and then I see the tips of my shoes.

-Nobody said I was immortal, we have to die of something, don't we, Doctor?," I smile at them.

The doctor clears his throat to end the tension and prepares to offer me a list of treatments that will help me and how to cope with the disease, but honestly, my mind doesn't concentrate, I don't want to do it.