20 The Quick and the Cloned - Part 8

It's just another boring day in the lab.

You thought that Sundar would be chomping at the bit to attack again, but so far there's been nothing from him or the other invaders. It's summer – and that means the city is gridlocked thanks to various sports events and festivals. Mitsuru was never one for social events, so you've spent most of your time up till now waiting around in the garage for something to happen.

After some early morning training in the gym, Mitsuru calls you into the garage and sits down at the computer. She's turned the monitor and the printer on. The UI on screen is much different to the raw stats and empty command windows that you're used to. It looks like any modern computer application, with a graphic interface and everything.

"I decided to make things easier for both of us. Since I can't always be around to mint new cards for you, the program has been updated and improved with a functional user interface that allows even you to find and press new cards with little effort!"

"Even me?"

"Yes. Since I decided to further develop my tracking algorithm and calculation system, it's now feasible for you to do everything without my guidance."

Mitsuru doesn't notice how insulting she can be sometimes, "Okay. So how does it work?"

She demonstrates for you - typing out the name 'Rebecca Lee' and pressing enter. A moment later a profile page for Revy from Black Lagoon appears. "All you need to know is the name. My new system will automatically calculate the time-dilation factor and logistics needed to summon them. You just press this button and it'll mint the card so long as there's enough material in the printing tray."

"…Okay. I can just summon who I want?"

"Yes, I'm not your Mother. But I strongly suggest that you restrain yourself and leave a few spares," Mitsuru explains, "It'd be bad if we were caught on the back foot without the means to summon a counter to whatever the Untethered are planning."

"Ah, I get it."

Mitsuru empties the search box and locks the computer again, handing you a small USB stick; "Security function. Plug this in and the computer will unlock again. Don't need people sticking their hands and fingers where they don't belong!"

You take the device and put it into your jacket pocket.

"I've been working on some other gadgets that we can use to fight, including the 'adjustments' that the Major kindly suggested to us."

Mitsuru waddles to the car lift, which hasn't been used since you moved in. You did notice something lurking under a blanket over there – but you knew that Mitsuru wanted to give you a dramatic reveal. She tugs the tarpaulin away, revealing a dirt bike, painted white to match your armour. Aside from that there don't seem to be many actual modifications.

"Since running to each attack location is such a pain, I decided to purchase an old motorbike and tune it up."

She's a grease monkey too now? She must have flipped through a manual and learned everything using her near photographic memory. You get closer and inspect it for yourself, "Couldn't you just build a teleporter or something?"

"Not unless you have an infinite supply of inter-dimensional anomalous material. We'd need some of it to teleport that precisely. Do you know how to ride?"

"…I'll figure it out."

"I am planning on making more changes, but it'll have to do for now. I did have time to include an automatic ignition system that triggers when it detects you wearing your armour. Just jump on and it'll handle the rest."

"Anything else you need to tell me about?"

Mitsuru snaps her fingers, "No. That's all for now. Unless you're interested in some of the new rooms Lala and I have been building."

"New rooms?"

"Nothing that you'd be interested in. A larger workshop space downstairs, some new laboratories and equipment for testing purposes, that kind of thing."

No hotel? You are kind of interested in what they look like – but you'll probably get to see them eventually anyway. "I'm good for now. I better go downstairs and run some kill house drills before the Major chews me out."

"Nice to see that you're taking it seriously."

"Why wouldn't I? These guys are seriously messed up. If I'm the only guy who can stop them, I'm going to do everything I can. Just a shame my wage is so bad."

Mitsuru frowns, "It's the minimum legal requirement, and I may have some news for you on that in a few days."

"What, on the money?"

"Yes! Now shoo, I have work to do."

---

The computer lies there in wait. It's been several hours since she revealed the new system to you, Mitsuru has vacated the garage to do testing in the 'materials lab,' so you decided that now was the time to test it out for yourself and let your fantasies run wild.

There's only one problem. Mitsuru claimed that you have enough rocks for eight new cards, but you can't think of a single person you need right now. Without Mitsuru's admonishment hanging over you the baser part of your brain demands that you pick someone merely for your own enjoyment; but that seems a little off when the fate of the world is in the balance.

So even after Mitsuru made a big show of making it easy enough for a dummy like you to use, you find yourself shying away from the decision. The pile of unused material lays in the drawer below, beckoning you to make a choice. This is the problem with having the entire multiverse laid out before you.

You decide to distract yourself by spending some time with Rias, as she's marked herself as available on your cross-dimensional phone. As soon as she emerges from the other-worldly portal, she leaps on top of you and drags you to the floor in a tight hug. She's not wearing her uniform for once. You pat her on the back.

"Jeeze, that's a way to say hello."

She sticks her tongue out at you, "Sorry. I just can't contain myself when my handsome husband needs my attention." She kisses you and then drags you back to your feet. You left the computer unlocked, and Rias notices the strange visuals of wobbling 3D shapes and graphs that Mitsuru uses to locate harem members.

"What's this?"

"That? Oh, Mitsuru decided to make a fool proof version of her 'harem location program,' you just type out a name and it does all the hard work for you."

You sit down in the chair and demonstrate the process for her, rapping out the first name that pops into your head. Erza Scarlet. You press enter and the computer whirs for a moment, spitting out a short profile about her, a full body image and some other, more technical details about her home dimension and the time-dilation factor. After confirming you have the right person a big green button attempts to entice any would-be summoners by asking you to "PRESS" her.

But you aren't summoning anyone at the moment so you back out of the menu. Rias is clearly interested, "Mitsuru is very intelligent, isn't she?"

"That's the understatement of the year. She's on a totally different level to everyone else."

"So, what's the issue?"

You chuckle, "When you have infinite possibilities in front of you – it's kind of hard to choose, you know? I feel like it'd be better if we just saved up our space rocks and used them to counter whatever the enemy comes up with."

Rias has a contemplative look on her face, "I feel like the wives you have now can handle whatever comes your way. After all, you have the lovely daughter of the Gremory clan and her peerage on your side."

Koneko and Asia aren't really in wife territory just yet.

"I guess you're right." Suddenly, you feel the urge to go to the toilet, "I'm going to the bathroom, back in a sec."

"Okay!"

You wander to the other side of the lab and head into the small restroom attached to the former office. After emptying the tank, you wash your hands and shake them off because Mitsuru forgot to buy more hand towels again. A commotion coming from the other room catches your ear.

You come back into the lab and see Rias hovering over the computer and printer.

You approach and realise that both machines have been turned on and used. When you finally notice what Rias has actually done, she looks like a kid caught with her hand in a cookie jar. Rias used the printer while you were away. The card laying in the output chute isn't of any of the girls you have considered recently, but rather one of her brown haired, big breasted mother - Venelana Gremory.

There's only one question on your mind, "Why your mother of all people?"

You've never seen Rias look like this before. Her usual confidence and teasing manner are nowhere to be seen. The devil bashfully twirls a lock of her hair with her finger, "Well, it's just that my mother has been very lonely since father passed away – so I thought that it'd be nice for you to take her on as a new harem member."

You sigh and take the newly pressed card from inside the machine. There's so much wrong about this that you can't even begin to put it into order. Rias is trying to set you up with her Mom for goodness' sake!

"I already told her all about you," Rias continues, "I think she'd be very happy to join with you."

"And you don't think that's weird?"

Rias is genuinely confused that you're even asking, "What about it? Why wouldn't I desire my mother to marry a fine man like you?"

You like MILFs as much as the next guy – but you weren't planning on summoning anyone's mother who's already in the harem. You were afraid that they'd take it the wrong way, or the right way, because it was crazy weird to think about.

"People don't really do that here," you explain, "In fact, polygamy is very unusual too. I can only imagine what people would think if someone married a mother and daughter at the same time."

"You can be such a prude sometimes," Rias giggles, "There's nothing wrong with my mother being with you. Devils do it all the time!"

Curious. You wonder if the 'universe' that Mitsuru pulled Rias from has the same rules applied to the humans and angels as well. Though to be honest, there aren't many human characters in DxD to begin with. It seems that Rias is trying to arrange a meeting between you, for the sake of getting her some dick or earning her approval is yet to be determined.

"Well, it's just us in the lab today, so I guess we can summon her and say hello at least…"

Rias smiles brightly. You're such a pushover sometimes. "Ah, just a word of warning – mother can be rather strict when it comes to matters of love. She's been bothering me incessantly about the date of our 'inevitable' wedding. I told her that this might happen."

She's been planning this the whole time - this is scarier than fighting a robot to be sure. You swallow your pride and slide her new card into the Sledgehammer, twisting it around and pulling the trigger.

"VENELANA GREMORY! SHATTERING!"

Even though you've done this nearly one-hundred times before, this is the most nerve-wrecking summoning yet, it's even worse than the first time you ever used it. The glass shatters into a spectrum of rainbow colours, before filling up the void again – the fragments quickly assemble themselves into the form of an older woman; Rias' mother, Venelana. She has brown hair, purple eyes and is wearing a frilly white dress that struggles to contain her bulging chest.

She blinks and then turns on you so fast that you're certain she had her first line prepared beforehand. Her naturally seductive eyes sharpen as she settles her sights on you, "So this is the young man who's taken my darling Rias' heart?" You feel a chill run through your entire body.

Rias latches herself onto your arm and hugs you close, "Yes mother!"

God help you with these devils…