"I always knew there was something off about you. Your exceptional prowess was simply too much."
In a vast white space, that stretched to infinity, stood two entities. One, was a black void, in the shape of a human, while the other was…
"I always knew Bruce Lee was a god hiding in human flesh." The void-like figure nodded its head as if it were the smartest detective.
"I'm not bru-"
"Stop!" The figure raised his hand, palm facing his idol, "Your secret is safe with me. After all, dead men tell no tales."
"I'm telling you I'm no-"
"Don't you already get it?" The figure interrupted the calm voice that sounded, "I must be too smart for you to understand." It then proceeded to move further away, and spread its hands outward, "I'm just fucking with you."
Silence permeated the surroundings. Seconds passed as Bruce Lee found a frown on his face.
'This human is so fucking annoying. I hate my job."
"Fuck you. Tell me what world and ask for 1 wish." Bruce Lee didn't want this to continue any longer. These humans were giving him aneurysms every time they came with their dumb bullshit. And this one just happened to be worse than the others.
The figure then proceeded to place his hands beneath his chin, pondering on his decision.
'I wonder how long it will take before he realises the great sin he has committed? He is clearly impersonating my idol, the greatest being alive, Bruce Lee. And for that, I will take it upon myself as his apostle, to show this being true fuckery.'
The figure then proceeded to wait.
And wait he did.
Bruce Lee's expression morphed into anger.
From anger came rage.
From rage came denial.
From denial came acceptance.
Pure unadulterated malice.
'What the absolute fuck does this human want!? I SWEAR IF IT WASN'T FOR THESE RULES… No calm down, he wants to fuck with me huh!? I'll make sure he has a GREAT start in whatever world he picks. Even if I have to break some rules…'
"Hehehhehehehehehheeh." Bruce Lee chuckled in an unhinged madness. And it was at this point that the figure decided it was enough of a punishment.
"You have failed my expectations greatly, you imposter. You're yet to understand the greatness of Bruce Lee, but you dare impersonate him." The figure then pointed firmly at the fake. "Be water. Formless and changing. Yo-"
The figure chuckled at the response before coming to an abrupt stop, as if figuring something out.
"I understand now."
"FUCKING FINALLY! YESSS!" Bruce Lee screamed in excitement and relief. His pain was finally over. But he was undoubtedly going to make a complaint at headquarters after this…
"Your brain must constantly be filled with epinephrine, the possible cause for your anger issues."
"One Piece world." Interrupting him came the figures voice, "Preferably the same age as Luffy. As for my wish… Because I've had a very long time to think about this. My conclusion is the Hanma bloodline, at its strongest purity of course. I shan't bother explaining the reasons, for I fear your brain cannot handle it."
The figure then paused, "Also make me relatively handsome. You should now understand 1% of Bruce Lee's patience, therefore you could now be considered to be an intern, which means you must help me." The figures hand crept onto Bruce Lee's shoulder, consoling him gently. He understood his anger after all. But the best way to have fun was undoubtedly through messing with people. The dopamine always rushed through his brain, causing him extreme happiness when he did.
'Wait do I even have a brain right now?'
Unbeknownst to him, the faker was seething. His teeth were rattling, and with a wave of his hand the figure was now gone.
"GOOD FUCKING LUCK. Your going to die quickly, and get sent into the void. Those eldritch fucks will caress you gently. I'll make sure of it."
"Hehehehehehehheheheheheheheehheheh." His maniacal laughter continued to fill the space…
"Hmm? Bruce Lee?" Another figure similar to the previous one came into view.
"1 million beli."
"Anddd sold to world noble, Saint Dustin!!"
A young boy, the ripe age of eleven opened his eyes, only to see a large assortment of fancy looking people.
'Hmm? Is that a celestial dragon? And why am I inside a cage?' He shuffled around, only to notice the shackles, trapping his hands.
'I'm young again?'
"Come with us, slave." Two guards interrupted his thoughts. He could almost taste the disdain from their tone. They opened the cage, grabbing his chains and proceeded to drag him away.
'These two shall be the first to understand the greatness of Bruce Lee when I escape.' The boy thought. After all, he could see it in their eyes. The did not understand Bruce Lee.
"Hurry up! Mutt!" A tug on the chain dropped the boy onto the ground. Or it should have. But the boy simply didn't move.
'This body is a lot stronger. And with its potential I shall bring greatness to this world.'
"Huehuehueheheheheh." A low muffle laughter crept out of his mouth, the guards witnessed this, which only increased the sickening feeling in their body.
A guard crudely whipped hand, slapping the boy, "Disgusting. Move or die." He then shook his hands, as if he was trying to get dirt off them.
The boy kept moving in silence, but a smirk was present on his face, furthering the guards distaste.
'Anger is like a current. Do not let it control you, for you should never snap. Instead mould around it, making it your own.'
After being dragged ruthlessly for what felt like hours, they arrived at a large colosseum. The boy could already hear the screams of excitement, as the sick people watching surely enjoyed the sight of bloodshed.
But the boy was calm like water. As formless as air. Ready for whatever challenge posed him in his way of spreading the martial god's works, and becoming one himself.
"Welcome to hell, slave."
Another slap was sent to the boy's cheeks, "Do not fail our lord, Saint Dustin. He has high hope's, due to your prospects." The guard then sneered before walking in, the other one dragging the boy.
They soon arrived at what looked like the staying chambers. The slaves all stuck in a single wide space, reverently making the everlasting sound of silence, looking hopeless.
'To push past your limits and become a better you. Even in the confines of of such a situation. These slaves are truly past saving.'
The boy was no saint. He widely followed Bruce Lee, however, the gaps in his knowledge had to be filled in by his own experience.
The guards unlocked his chains and kicked him inside. Touching him with their hands, would mean they need to be washed again. Though, they would definitely wash their boots after this. And the limit to doing so should only be once. Their lord didn't like the particles of a slave to touch him.
Leaving the boy alone, their figures soon disappeared.