webnovel

Haiseism

A story written by @the.boble (with bobskittle as the publisher.) Haise kun is a second year at TTMSHS. His dream is to become the greatest hooper the world has ever seen. Except one problem. He’s an overthinker. Follow Haise kun and his wacky antics as he tries to overcome his overthinking and hopefully meet an irl waifu on the way.

bobskittle · Urban
Not enough ratings
18 Chs

The Sigma Hooper

BBZBZBZBZBZ

Joma chan blew the whistle. She volunteered to be the ref since Bando's scrawny ahh wasn't strong enough to blow the whistle. 

Skittle stood still as the three of us ran up the center of the court. 

"Yoink"

I picked up the ball and blew past Skittle up the three point line. As I tried activating my hoopism I could hear Skittle's kawaii little giggle. 

Nothing was happening. 

I tried shooting the ball. 

plink

"Ka ka. Air ball."

And missed completely. 

"Usoda… Did I just get mogged."

I fell to my knees.

I've gyatta get back up. 

I got up from my knees. 

I can't be getting hoopers block at a time like this. 

Skittle went to the side of the court and picked up the ball. 

"Check"

He passed it to me. That same devious asf grin grew across his face like a baka. 

"Mate"

I passed it back. 

As soon as he stepped foot back in the court he looked me dead on and passed the ball to my face. 

SPAK

"Ichi"

I fell backwards and the ball bounced right back into his hands. 

Snail tard and Abi both ran up to defend him. 

He got into a pitchers stance and chucked it straight into snail tard. 

BLAT

He got smacked upside the head with the ball, getting knocked over too. 

"Ni"

With the ball coming back down from the air Skittle jumped up to do a bicycle kick, straight at Abi. 

"AH"

She stood completely still and the ball flew past her. Missed by a hair. 

She scratched the back of her head and blushed. 

"Ehehe… gomene"

Skittle looked confused. 

"Interesting."

As I tried getting back up I watched Skittle bolt straight at her. 

Right as they were about to clash…

-

clun clun clun

"Anno… what happened…"

Abi chan was standing in the middle of an empty court, with a single light shining on her from above. A voice spoke from the void. 

"MonogatariWatchOrderGuy right? Your oto san?"

Her eyes widened and she clenched her fist. 

"Skittle… you beta… you took everything from him…"

"Ka ka. That little rizzler didn't have much to begin with. But it looks like I was right to let him go back eheheh"

"Nani…"

"That underthinking ability of yours. You guys just might be able to pull it off. Well he might. KA KA."

Skittle snapped his fingers. 

-

Skittle vaulted over her and ran to the end of the court to snatch the ball, but it rolled out of bounds right before he could reach it. 

"Gyatte gyatte rizzaye"

Abi went to the court side to receive the ball for us. 

"Check"

She passed it to Skittle.

"Mate"

He passed it back. 

Abi tried bouncing the ball across the court to pass it to me but it immediately flew out of bounds again.

She smacked her face.

"Gyattebayo !!"

I don't think she knew what that meant. 

It was Skittle's ball. As soon he stepped in the court Snail tard went to block him, but Skittle was easily able to out maneuver him (he kicked him in the gyatts)

Snail tard fell to his knees

"Sorry chat… I gotta edge this one out for a bit…"

He fell flat onto his chest. 

It was just me and Abi chan now. 

Abi got in front of Skittle to defend against him, and as he tried to dribble past her I stuck out my foot to trip him up. As Skittle jumped over my foot Abi reached to grab the ball from him, causing him to pull back. I tried punching the ball out from his grasp, so he raised the ball over his head. 

Abi then tried punching him in the stomach so he brought his arms back down to block it when I tried to kicking the back of his leg to knock him off balance. Skittle ducked down and twisted his body before suddenly blitzing right past us. 

His path was wide open. 

He jumped up for a dunk, only to realize he was on the wrong side of the court.

At the last second he pulled back, hitting the ball against his own rim. Abi ran up to catch the rebound but it bounced off her head instead, landing right in my hands. 

This was my chance. 

Skittle quickly started scurrying to block me. 

I wouldn't let him mog me this time. 

I once again activated my hoopism and I could see it. This ball would go in no matter what. 

As I shot the ball a figure flew right past me, the ball disappearing with it. 

"Enough."

Skittle was standing right next to me, knees bent and elbows pointing out as he held the ball near the center of his chest. 

"HYAAAAAAAA"

A white aura began to surround his body and a strong wind began to push me backward. 

The ball was spinning in between his hands, reaching a speed incomprehensible to the ningen eye. 

"BOB"

I tried getting closer to him but his aura was too much. Streaks of air began to strike against my skin like whips, tearing bits of my flesh. 

"SKITTLE"

The court underneath him began to break apart, with a loud whistling coming from the speed of the ball spinning. 

SPHPHPHPHPHPHH

"ULTIMATE"

I grit my teeth. So this was the aura of the sigma hooper. 

"BALL BEAM"

VRNNNMNNNNNNNNN

"BLASSSSSSSSST"

The ball shot out from Skittles hand right toward our hoop at Mach speed. 

BRMHMHMHMHMHM

Snail tard suddenly shot up from the ground

"THE PROPHECY WAS TRUE"

The ball slammed into Snail tards stomach, shredding his jersey and pushing against his stomach, blood shooting out in every direction. 

"BACK IN THE GYM WHERE THE TEAM FIRST MET. I HAD A VISION. I HAD TO BLOCK BOB SKITTLE"

JRNNNNNNNNNNNN

The ball was still picking up speed, but he stood his ground, arms extended. 

"I RESPECT GUY, BUT HIS CONTENT"

The ball began spinning even faster and pushing harder into snail tard. 

"IS CORNY"

SHSHSHSHHSHSHSHSH

"ASF"

The ball finally bounced off Snail tards stomach, but not before knocking him to the ground. The ball flew back into me and Skittle direction, both of us staring in shock. Abi jumped up to catch the ball. It bounced off her head instead. 

And fell right into…

Skittles basket. 

dink

Our point. 

We won. 

"SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII"

Skittle fell back. 

"Well overthinking hooper. Good game."

Abi ran up to me and flung her arms around my neck. 

"WE DID IT HAISE KUN. THANKS TO OUR HOOPDO"

"Our hooper way"

We looked over to Snail tard. 

As he sat himself up we could see his stomach covered in blood. He stuck out a thumbs up. 

"Don't *cleh* worry bros. Tis but a scratch."

He then fell back down. 

Silly Snail tard. Arigato. 

Joma and Bando joined us on the court. 

"Omedetou mina!!"

Skittle then stood back up. 

He coughed into his hand and it was covered in blood. 

"I guess it's time. I hope your ready overthinking hooper."

"You're*. Also nani ?"

Skittle looked pale and ready to fall over. 

"The Hooper Society was our last line of defense."

"Ehhh… what are you gooning on about ?"

He put his hand on my shoulder with a weird smug grin on his face. 

"Let me tell you a tale… Of three hoopers."