When the Curtains Fall and You Lose Yourself

The dagger penetrates my chest, and the blade comes to an abrupt halt. The pain tearing through my chest wakes me up to reality and cuts through my demented resolutions. I flash back to the last couple of weeks and all that I went through to regain my will to live. As I stare at the prick of blood on the end of the knife and the small trickle on my chest, I realize that everything that I went through was worth it. If it wasn't for those events, then I would have a knife buried in my chest. If it weren't for those friends I made along the way, then who knows what ditch I would be in. I thought that Centi had overcome her obsession with death, but I was sorely mistaken. My body feels light. Something has been taken from inside, and if a strong breeze comes then, I won't be able to stay on the ground. The feeling is different than it was before though, back when I was empty. Back then I didn't think that there was anything to make life worth living, but now there is just one less reason.

I know that I should stand up, that I should start moving. Sitting on my knees like this for much longer puts me at risk of never getting up again. I might become part of the vegetation. I don't want to die, but there isn't much I want to do in life now. The one I wanted to be with decided that she would rather fulfil her wish of dying than be with me. Instead of standing, I only succeed in dropping my head into my hands while I stand on my knees. A voice speaks behind me. I hear the words, but don't take in any of the qualities of the voice.

"Sitting like that where I fight just took place. It's almost like you are asking to be killed." The voice says.

I didn't move from my position, I just grumble my response, "I would love to die. If you are ready and willing, then take my life." I wait a second before continuing, "That is what I would have said not too long ago. If you want my life, you can have it after you take it from my hands."

"Why is it that you are out here like this?"

"I was chasing a woman that I think I loved. She gave her life away before I could find her though."

"You think that you loved her?"

"I know I did. But it was confusing because I don't think she liked me. She said to marry her then she ran aw- I shouldn't be telling this to a stranger."

"I am not a stranger."

Wait. Something about that voice is familiar, "Centi!?" I wrench my body around to get a look at the person that owns the voice. They wince.

"Sorry, it's just me. I am Maram."

I look at the young woman, trying to figure out why I knew her voice.

"Remember, you gave me money so that I could buy food for my family."

'Oh. It's her. I wonder what she is doing out here.' I think.

"What is it that you want?" I ask.

"Right now, I want to help you."

"I don't know what you can do. I think that this grief is something that I have to overcome on my own."

"I can't just leave you here."

"Help me look, then. I want to find her body."

I rise to my feet in silence and together we set out to find where the blood trail picks back up. We search for several desolate minutes, before Maram finds the trail a little way away. We walk along the trail, stopping periodically to find the trail when it disappears. I am walking along, when Maram stops behind me. I look back, and her eyes are to the sky.

"It is getting dark; we won't get anything done without the light." She says.

In response to her I pull out my fire staff and channel a fireball so I can continue walking.

"You know that you will burn out of energy within a few minutes." She admonishes as she walks up to me with a bundle of sticks wrapped in cloth to serve as a torch.

"You're right. Thanks."

I realize that my body has lost a lot of its feeling. It still works, but when I look down, I see cuts and tears in my clothing that I must have gotten from walking through the trees and underbrush.

"I hear something!" Maram yells in a partially hushed voice.

I follow Maram and we end up looking at a large cat bowing over something that makes my stomach drop: what I can only assume is a human body.

I start to mutter ramblings to myself, "I just wanted a decent funeral. Even if she didn't have a worthy death, I wanted to give her a worthy funeral. Please don't tell me that she let an animal kill her. Please no."

I cast a fireball at the creature, and it burst in to flames, bounding away and letting out screams as it went.

I slowly walk up to the body and before I make it all the way I fall to my hands and my knees. Tears start to drip down my face as I slowly crawl closer. I turn my head and wipe the tears on my sleeve. I reach out to clean blood off of her face and am hit. I crumple to the ground after I take the blow. It takes me far too long to figure out that someone had dropped out of the tree and tackled me to the ground. I feel the weight of a person on top of me and strong constricting arms wrapped around me. I panic and try to pull out my dagger but am stopped by a tear-soaked face digging into my back. There is a soft sobbing coming from the person I was tackled by. I sit there for a long while but turn over eventually to face the red headed beauty in the fire light.

"Th- they- I- didn't- I didn't let them kill me," She sees the corpse beside me and starts sobbing all over again.

"You did good, Centi. You are so strong," I reach out and place a hand on her elbow.

"Sh- she- I tried to rescue her. The bandits... we escaped, but the cat- we- she couldn't-"

"You are so strong," I repeat, "You are alive, and I am here for you."

She looks at me with crazy eyes. Her eyes widen and then shrink, pupils dilating and flickering. Tears run out of her eyes.

"Married? Can we... can we be married." She says.

I pull her head against my shoulder, "Together? Yes. You and I are together. That is that."