1 Chapter 1 - Illusion Of Violence
My father always said there are two men in this world, those who cry and those who drink.I'm afraid to tell him I've discovered a new man, the one who's in love.
I've yet to say I've found anyone else to be fond of other then this girl.Aileen was her name, the girl I couldn't forget.I still remember when we met, at a bookstore that had a little vinyl section.In order to explain our paths colliding, let me explain the reason for my voyage.
August 16, 2022
I was about 19 years old by this time and I had no job sadly.I lived at home with my sister and her children as our parents aren't around anymore.I lost my father two years ago and my mother a year ago, it was back to back sorrow.Well anyways, I've been trying to look for a job but nothing.
I sleep in the living room of this hot pink colored apartment complex.The apartment was a two bedroom and one bathroom as it's looking decayed.I can't bare to feel I've been a slob of waste for my sister but I think she understands I'm still young.I'm still at an age to be lost and in search of an education if optional.
I've awoken at about 11:34 am as I don't see no reason to sleep early now.I sleep around 2-3 am now and have no use of setting an alarm, only to be up early to run little errands for my sister or one of her kids.Her kids are still in elementary school and in a year will go to middle school.
I quickly got up and went into the bathroom as I peed like I hadn't in months.
"Ahhhh " I groaned in pleasure as I finished up, I zipped up my pants now.I went to wash my hands as I looked in the mirror.As the soap rubbed around I felt a hurricane of a headache.
I finished up and dried my hands on the towel on the hook as I exited.I see my sisters room to be empty but that wasn't unusual.My sister and her boyfriend always worked early as the her two kids walked to school as we lived a few blocks from there.I remember a time when I had to walk them to school to be safe but they got older now.
I walked into the kitchen as I saw a hundred dollar bill with a note that said "Spend Wisely Sid ".I put it in my pockets as I put on my shoes and shirt.I had most of clothes in a pile near the couch.I left the apartment and locked the door as I put the spare key in my pocket.I walked downstairs to see the apartment kids playing make-believe cops and robbers.Some had toy guns and others had handcuffs, it was bizarre.
I walked by them as I got to the apartment complex front door to see a neighbor I knew smoking a cigarette.
"Good morning " I said as he replied as he exhaled,
"It's nearly noon now Sidney…".He said this in a pretentious manor as I scoffed and walked by him as I said "have a good one man ".He gave me a deathly stare with a plain expression as he whispered "you too ".
I Jay walked the streets of Gothic as I looked both ways to see no cars yet.This neighborhood of Gothic is usually packed with idiotic kids doing idiotic things or neighbors fighting or arguing with one another and cars parked in the middle of the street like they owned the place.
I made it as I hurried to a McDonald's as I bought a breakfast platter.I ate as an employee approached in shyness but they got that bit of confidence to ask
"Hi….excuse me; would you like to do a quick survey on your phone to get a free complimentary item ?"
I had been eating the hash brown as i took into account what she asked of me as I swallowed the piece still in my mouth.I cleaned my face and hands with a napkin as I quickly got out my phone and replied
"Sure, sure- yes that'd be fine …"
I've handed it over as she began to get the little survey ready; I still ate for a moment as I took a sip of my water cup.
"Okay, great here you go … " she said as she handed the phone over.I smiled and thanked her ad I began to do the survey quickly but surely.I had noticed the worker was standing there as she waited for me to finish up.I gave her a glance and smiled again in awkwardness as I finished up the survey.I turned the phone over as I said
"I'm done …" she saw as she replied
"Oh ! Great, thank you sir" she began to get out s little coupon and handed it over as she added
"This will guarantee you the choice of a free ice cream, cookie or apple slices ….enjoy and thank you again …"
She walked away as I looked at the coupon to see it expired in a week; I'll just save it for later.
I put it in my pocket as I continued to eat this gift from god.About 10 minutes passes by as I was on my way.I quickly through out the trash and put the tray on top of the trash can as I exited.I looked out through the parking lot area so I don't get ran over by these enraged obese bastards that take the drive-thru.
I walked over to the bookstore as you can't understand that in this hour and this minute on this day; my life changed.I only entered this store as on their social media they posted them having a 50% off sale on everything; I had to go.Just do simp math, twenty dollars worth of stuff for the price of a crispy Hamilton.
I first entered the fantasy section at is somewhat interested me, not as much as the suspense section.Such a variety of gritty and interesting novels yet none catch my eye like Stephen King.
I saw The Mist as I picked it up in excitement, I hadn't found a decent King book in a while.
I carried it with me as I went to the vinyl section as I went to the letter T.I can now explain to you how I can explain to anyone; the greatest songs are made by Artist with The in their name.The Doors, The Cure, The Animals; etc….it's a never ending eternity of unique sounds.
I looked through it as I saw The Clash's "London Falling " album.I got it out as I saw the price was ten dollars; it seemed insane.Such a masterpiece being so….so cheap !
In the exact moment I saw the price was given another valuable vision.I saw Aileen for the first time in my existence.She had a long black hair and silk white skin.I then noticed different piercings, one on her right eyebrow, nose and left cheek.Her eyebrows were a high arch stance as her nose was a bulbous shape and she had thin lips.She got me more hooked with her hazel brown eyes.
She was about 5'3-5'5 at most and looked to be in okay shape.She dressed in a blue leather jacket with a white crop top underneath.She had Denim pants with black boots.I couldn't resist noticing her many pins, bracelets and necklaces; it seemed so simple nowadays but she just stood out.
I got a glance of her but that's all I needed to know she was the one.
She looked around the F section as I noticed she had multiple different vinyls in her hands.I couldn't really tell who the artist or album was; seemed odd.She got "French Exit " album by TV Girl, never heard of them but if she likes them they must be good.
The sections were positioned in a square shaped area as we were opposite of each other. she looked up at me for one moment as I was looking through the T section once again.She scoffed at she sees the album I hold, I got "A Hard Day's Night " by The Beatles.
It had me confused as I held both vinyls now, in the moment I couldn't tell if she was scoffing at me or not.I ignored until suddenly she slowly walked over as she made it look like she was looking at the same section as me.It was silent as we both were observing the albums as I scavenged through them in interest she seemed to have been mimicking me.She had her hand on her chin as she was intrigued with a squinting look as I didn't noticed it until I look over to her for a moment and caught her in the look.I laughed in embarrassment and confusion as I asked "Are you alright ?"
She played it off by replying
"No I'm okay man, I'm just astonished by your choices there …."
She pointed out the two vinyls I had as I asked
"What's wrong with them ?" She laughed a bit more as she said "never mind man …"
She walked away slowly as I was left curious as I caught up to her and said
"Hey, wait what do you mean never mind ?"
She stopped as we faced each other in the suspense section.
"I didn't mean nothing bad by it man it's just- it's just you have a very special sense of taste in music man …" she said this in a sarcastic manor as I was a bit surprised at such tongue.
"What ? Man fuck you !, you just decided to go out today and make someone's day shitty ?"
I said as she continued to walk to the register as I followed.
"Oh wow, okay man….whatever makes you feel tuff …" she said as we waited in line.
"Look- what ? No you can't turn this on me, I was just going on with my day being calm and cool and you just degraded me …" she scoffed again and rolled her eyes.
She was up next as the clerk asked "paying together ?" As we both said "NO !"
She placed her items down as she said to me
"Look man I wasn't trying to make you feel bad just how I am, I apologize ….okay ?"
The clerk then said
"46 bucks …" Aileen have a 50 dollar bill as the clerk got her her change and receipt.Now Im over here feeling bad as I did curse her out a minute ago I sighed as she walked away with her things in a rush as I put my things down.
The clerk rang me up quickly as she stared me down as the clerk said "36 bucks".I handed over the hundred as I couldn't stop looking at her walk away.It was in this moment I thought two things, am I going to let the woman of dreams walk away and is she feeling the same way ?
"Here you go sir, have a good one …"
I got my changed and items quickly as I walked out fast to see her walking down the steps of the store as I yelled out
"Hey wait !" She stopped and turned around as she laughed and asked
"What you wanna argue some more ?"
I walked down the stairs and stood next to her as I felt embarrassed at the thought as I replied
"No what- no I just wanted to apologize too and maybe we can start over you know, just forget that ever happen and this right here is our first time meeting ?"
I gestured a hand shake as she accepted it and laughed,
"Alright I'm Aileen…" she said as the name was as firm as her handgrip.
"I'm Sid …." She remarked
"Well you don't look so vicious …" I didn't know what this meant as I laughed and asked
"What does that mean ?"
She rolled her eyes again as she replied
"Never mind man , you want to come with me to the mall ?"
I thought it all surprising as I said
"Well sure but I don't know if you carry all this stuff ?"
She then walked over to her 2012 Ford Fusion as she said
"We could leave it in my car when we get off man, come on …"
I was starstruck for the moment as I didn't know what to feel now, we went from simple glance to getting in her car.
"We'll come on man, I ain't gonna kill you …" she said as she got in.I got in as I see the car looking fairly clean as she began to get out of the parking and drive on the Main Street that leads to the mall.
She played music as "The Sanity Assassin " by Bauhaus played.I've never heard such music but it sounded alright.
"You know you're weird man…" she said as she laughed as I did as well,
"What does that mean ?" I asked as she replied
"I mean, you look like serial killer, I mean are you gonna kill me ?"
We started laughing more as I said "what the fuck- no I'm not- I'm not a serial killer or nothing …."
She stopped at a red light as she said
"Oh that sucks, would've been cool, you know being a victim, being known for that in the future …" This was very odd as it kept the car ride silent now.
We got to the parking lot of the mall as she parked, we got out as she said "you hungry ?" I was still full as I said "na I'm good but if you wanna eat, let's go …"
We walked aside each other into the mall as we headed straight for the food court.This is where the conversation became tamed.
"So can I ask about my music taste, what did you find boring about it ?" I asked as she replied
"Nothing just seemed basic and boring … I mean Christ the Beatles ?"
I didn't see nothing wrong with it as I asked
"What's wrong with the Beatles ?"
She chuckled as she explained
"They're the most boring and overrated band … I mean sure the music is tolerable but other than abbey road; they're just so wack …"
I never felt bewildered by such opinions on something so useless to argue about.
We got to the food court as she chose a pizza spot, the worker waved as she noticed and approached.
"Can I get three slices, two pepperoni and one cheese …" the worker nodded and got them for her as she asked "you sure you don't want something ?" The pizza was handed over as I replied
"I'm good …"
The worker then said "15 dollars …" she looked into her pockets to see she only had five bucks as she looked over at me as I sighed.
"Here …" I handed over a twenty as he quickly got me my change.I saw the food came with a free drink as she had a cup full of lemonade.We walked together as we looked for a place to sit.We found it ad she sat down, she began to eat as she thanked me for spotting her.
"Look man I don't want you to think I used for your money or something …I just didn't bring my card …" I played it off and said "no it's alright…"
She continued to eat as I just watched, it was comedic.She had the technique of three bites then a sip, she looked over and laughed for a moment and she spit out the lemonade.
"God, you alright ?" I said as I laughed, she gagged for a moment.
"No it's just feels so funny, I don't know why- you're just watching me eat…." She handed over a slice as she added on "here eat this one at least so I don't feel so fat …"
I didn't want to decline so I took the slice from her now greasy hand.
I ate it as we kept laughing after each bite as we kept looking at each other.We had no reason to but we just kept laughing, we looked insane as people stared.
"Christ now I'm thirsty …" i said as I finished the pizza slice; she handed over her cup of lemonade.I was hesitant at first but took some quick sips
"Thanks …"
She finished up eating as she drank the remainder of her cup, she let out a big burp.This caught me by surprise as she got up and threw away the trash in the trash can next to us."imma go use the restroom, be right back …"
I waited there as I watched her walk away into the woman's restroom nearby.
Ten minutes past by as I got paranoid, what if she did use me to get a free meal; that bitch.I got up and headed for the restrooms to see her walking out as she asked "you going to the bathroom ?" I was stood still as I replied " yea ….I'll be quick …"
I walked into the bathroom as I washed my hands and splashed my face with cold water; how could I be so foolish, thinking like that isn't right.
I got out as I knew she was the one when I saw her standing there waiting for me.She turned and saw me as she said "all good ?" I nodded and said "yep ". She starting walking as I followed,
"Alright let's go window shopping man .."
We first went to a clothing store full of all sorts of things, from pentagrams chains to socks with unicorns on them.After all that we went into a Japanese themed store that sold all sort of plushies to even foods.She hadn't seen nothing she liked until we went into another store similar to the first as she saw an Annabelle doll still in the box.
"Oh look at that, looks so cool …" I just didn't know if I should really go out of my way to buy this for her.
"Excuse me how much is the doll ?" She asked a worker walking by as they replied "30 dollars right now…." She thanked the worker as she looked at it as it silent as I just had to ask her,
"Want me to buy it ?" She seemed stunned as she replied "no you don't have too man, just seems too much …" I shrugged it off as I said "no it's cool, I got it man …." I went over to the same worker asu. Asked them to get it for me as Aileen looked at me with such a desire.
I feel comfortable with her but I still can't see her endgame, I can't tell if she's playing me or not.I got it for her as we exited the store as she carried it in happiness, "I really appreciate this man, you ready to go ?" She asked as we exited the mall as I replied
"Sure …"
We got back to her car as she put the doll in the backseat.She started up the car as she started to play music, "Black Planet " by Sisters Of Mercy played as she got out of the parking lot and on to the Main Street again, we began to talk more.
"Hey I don't want you to still think I'm broke or something I genuinely forgot my card and used u my last chad at that bookstore and I thought I had more-" she said as I interrupted and said
"It's alright- it's okay; you're good man …"
It was silent as she asked
"You don't like this type of music ?" I grinned as I said "it's alright but not my style, I ain't going to hate on you for it though…."
She laughed as she remarked "well that's a nice way of saying it sucks …" I laughed then and said "It doesn't suck, it's cool and all just not what I'd play …" we got to that red light again as she handed over phone and said "play me what you'd play then …"
I quickly searched "When Doves Cry " by Prince as I skipped 30 seconds into the song as it played so smoothly.She seemed somewhat into it as she said
"I mean it's alright but not my style…" she mimicking me again as we both laughed.
We got to a gas station as she needed to fill up,
"Aye you think you can spot me a twenty ?" She asked from outside the car window as I handed her one, "I love you man !" She said in friendly tone as I took it to heart.She left the car on as the music still played.
She went in and payed for station 4 as I looked around and thought.I just couldn't believe I'd be doing this today.She got around as she got the pump and filled it up as she looked at me through the side-view mirror; she waved.I laughed as I waved back, she made a gesture of making the gas pump look like a penis as she acted out like she was peeing.
"Ahhh " she let out a groan as I laughed even more at this.I looked around her car again as I was feeling at peace.I laid back on the seat as I reckoned a bit, she finished as she put the pump back.
She got back into the car as she saw me with my eyes closed.
"Are you meditating?" She asked as I opened my eyes and quickly rolled up my seat.
"What ?- no sorry, just resting for a minute …"
She felt odd at this as she asked
"Are you homeless ?" I laughed and replied
"No, what ? No I'm not- " I sighed as I said
"No I live like 5 minutes from here …. I live with my- my sister …."
She scoffed and said
"That's an upgrade from living with your parents haha …." I laughed a bit and replied
"Yea ….I guess it is, hehe …"
She started up the car as she handed over her phone to maps as she said
"Put your address in, I'll drop you off man …"
I began to as she got out of the gas station and on to the Main Street once more.I placed the phone on to her phone holder as she saw and said
"Oh wow, you do live close- you know I used to live there when I was younger …" I was shocked at such coincidence as I said "no way ?, that's cool as hell "
We both chuckled at the thought as I said
"Upstairs or downstairs ?" As she replied
"Downstairs, near the laundry mat "
Now I Know she isn't lying, we kept on driving as we had one more turn.
"Hey…if you want, we could have another little hangout tomorrow …" she said as I was surprised at this, I thought this would be our only encounter.
"Oh-okay, if you're fine with it….what you thinking ?" I asked as she got her chance to take a turn.She went for it as she said
"Well I'm thinking we could go eat or maybe to Wendell park …."
I knew Wendell park and I loved it,
"Okay, seems cool; what time ?" I asked as she parked in front of the apartment building.
"I'm thinking at 2:00 pm, meet me at the park or you want me to pick you up ?" She asked as I was hesitant as I said
"No I could meet you there, so 2:00 pm; alright see you then …"
I was out of car as I waved goodbye and headed inside.She waved goodbye as she stared me down and bit her lip.That exact day was the day I felt so happy and the days to come set my life up for misery with Aileen.I remember the day now, August of 2022.
