7 Chapter 7: The Item Shop Sister

The feeling of the portal after I stepped into it was horrible, like being tossed around inside a washing machine. I felt my body contort in impossible ways, my back cracked, and I thought this might be the end for me!

Men are not meant to bend this way, as my crotch reached my face. It was horrific—all that adrenaline and joy from fighting the Ratmen and gaining a skill that suited me without losing the sword skill made me able to endure the pain and strange feeling.

Woosh!

The sound I heard before my eyes became clear was like the crackling of fireworks, and the clap of thunder mashed together and distorted before I was thrown out like a dirty rag that Mother didn't want anymore.

Bang!

I fell like a meteor from the sky and smashed down against the beautiful marble flooring, causing my brain to rattle in my skull, leaving me feeling dazed as the expensive marble was now smeared in my dirty blood and vomit—damn! I think my nose might be broken...

The reflection in the marble made me feel like it could never have been me... Did I hurt my head too much, and now ugly became extremely handsome?

Honestly, my reflection looked like those supermodels that wear only their underpants and women act like they aren't interested but secretly love seeing those ads and checking the size of their bulges and tight bodies!

My new reflection...?

I had ocean-blue eyes that were deep and piercing, honestly some of the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen, and if they were truly mine now... that would be amazing. If I forgot the bloody lips and nose, maybe it was worth giving me ten out of ten?

Especially since the hair on my head no longer looked dirty, with knots and split ends, it was perfect blonde, with no discolouring or split ends... my face had no blemishes either.

Is this me?

I had to ask myself how soft and pink my lips were... compared to the old cracked lips that hurt each time I smiled or drank something spicy.

[...]

"Is anyone there? Can you tell me what I look like to you?" I asked, lifting my head and seeing if stray adventurers were around.

But there was only a space—the sky was filled with stars despite being daylight, while the walls were huge white stones with golden rings.

It felt like those Greek pantheons that I saw once in this annoying movie that my sister liked, where he fights as a gladiator but dies in the end to join his wife and kid...

I guess not...

"Let's find something useful or someone who can explain how things work."

[...]

Somehow, each time I spoke for the past few minutes since enjoying those soft breasts in my dream, it felt like someone was watching over my shoulder and breathing down my neck with a sigh at my every action!

So...

I twisted my body quickly, trying to catch them, but nothing...

[...]

"Forget it, probably the wind..."

[!!!]

I observed this place and found it boring—from the strange portal, they spat me out like I was the plague.

There was a long set of marble stairs leading up towards a small hut on the top of the hill and another set of portals just past it.

Oh... there seemed to be a place to eat and sleep, too.

"Maybe people stay in the dungeon longer, but what about their real lives? A little strange..."

Slowly, I walked up the steps—each time my bare feet slapped on the marble, it felt like I was defiling them with the dirty rat water...

Let's make sure to use some money to buy nice shoes, waterproof shoes, and maybe some socks that can help with insulation and avoid any issues.

I wonder how much money I have from this... To replace my shoes, I might need to grind more Ratmen.

"However, being able to make money just from fighting... It made me feel nostalgic for the past."

Since coming out of combat, I found that my body was more durable—those bonus attributes seemed to have worked wonders. Now, I could walk up all the pointless stairs without getting out of breath, but my feet hurt from the cold and warm water...

[...]

Oh?

What is that?

The first person I saw was a beautiful woman, blonde, the colour as perfect as mine, but she smiled at me from such a distance and gave me a small wave. 

I couldn't help but be attracted to her motherly figure, those large and welcoming breasts shaking lightly in her dress... I turned away to avoid being rude, but she was completely different from that flat goddess.

[!!!!!!!!!!]

The moment I thought that somehow, it felt like the surrounding world cracked, and everything ended for a moment. I even saw my departed grandpa, who wished me well and always said to use a condom with crazy women...

Was my grandpa a player, making my poor grandmother worry about him finding a new woman?

Don't do that, Grandpa, I'll tell Grandma, and she'll beat your ass with a steel bat...

[(It runs in the fucking family?!)]

"Welcome to the Eternia Mart!" A soft voice sounded as my feet seemed unwittingly approached without fixing my outfit!

Despite my horrid looks, due to the damn ratmen and me brawling them like a savage, she didn't judge me or show an unpleasant look. 

Even though I stunk and looked terrible.

"Well, you sure are extremely handsome, but you seem to have suffered badly at the hands of the Ratmen."

"Would you rent the Eternia Inn's shower and clothing service? It costs 1 gold for a new basic outfit and is fully clean! Cheap and fast!"

I paid the fee with a refreshed face—thankfully, the coins were all stored in the inventory but didn't take a slot.

Like the sword, I merely needed to press them—it asked me how much! Ahh~ viva money! I don't see a minus sign; this isn't my overdraft!!!!

It turned out there were a lot of gold coins in total. Was I rich? I am not sure, but when I transferred it to cast, the total was around $1,500, and that's almost more than my entire month's worth at my part-time job!

"Sorry about that... Two gold, right?" Honestly, speaking with a woman this beautiful who wasn't my mother or sister was a little tough; the last woman I thought was a wonderful woman told me she hated the idea of having my child.

I think... so maybe this woman is the true goddess? Look, her ass is like a plump, juicy peach... and that flat goddess and her plastic surgery... is fake!

"Ugh..."

This time, when the world ended, I saw Grandma...

She scolded me for escaping reality and ignoring the cute goddess sitting on my shoulder in the small pixie size with a nice set of breasts and a soft, squishy ass.

[You....]

Oh no... I can't hear or see her anymore... get away... angry fly!

While playing around with the new female flying rat that followed me, the beautiful big sister gave me a strange key and giggled at me while peeking at my shoulder a few times.

"This is the key. The room is just over there, and all instructions will be placed under the items for use. I will bring over a new set of clothes after you are done, okay?"

"Then maybe you can do real purchasing for the next floor?"

I wanted to visit her store more often and get to know her. Does she like serious men or maybe a little joke or two? The dungeon was filled with so many interesting things that I didn't mind being beaten or fighting in the dirt.

[I will end you, you know that, right?]

Yes Ma'am...

Gold digger or not...

I'd tap it.

[I am the goddess!!!!!!!!]

"Heh..."

Ignoring the fly's strange buzzing and little high-pitched voice on my shoulder, I dashed to the Eternia Inn and entered the room with the key number one.

I thought stupidly, like some might agree, "I am number one." I began singing a song but realised someone was watching me, which embarrassed me.

[Who are you talking to?]

Sorry... I felt excited since leaving the dungeon. It's starting to fade now, and I'll try to keep it in check...

[(I hate the high that newbies experience from levelling up, it's worse than fucking cocaine!)]

[(What fly... bastard.... just you wait...]

[(What plastic surgery!)]

[(My tits and ass changed to suit your desire because you molested me and made me impure!)]

...