ELAR System

When I woke up, there's a strange voice in my brain. Literally, inside my brain. At first, I thought that it was god, but no. This voice was more machine like. Automated.

"Easy Life module is ready. Commence brain installation? Yes? No? Please voice confirm."

I was a bit skeptical, but it said easy life. And since it was coming from inside my brain, there's no way for it to be spam email or a scam or something. So, I said, "Yes."

I gotta say, I kinda regret saying yes. I enjoyed the privileges, but the initial experience was… not that great. As the Easy Life module was being installed in my brain, it felt like drowning. It felt like somebody was piling heavy rocks on my head. My brain felt it could crushed at any moment. My eyes were flickering. It was stinging my irises. Loads of texts scrolled through my eyes, like it was AR glasses.

When the installation was complete, I was already on the floor. It was so painful that I rolled myself out of bed, and straight onto the floor. Thank god it was carpeted, or I might die once more. The machine voice started saying something again as I was lying on the floor.

"Welcome to Easy Life Augmented Reality system. This system contained all the knowledge and skills of the world, ready for you to learn and applied in real life. Please select one of these orientation module to learn more."

This sounds a bit strange. From the looks of it, Easy Life won't be as easy as advertised after all. Nothing ever is in the world, I guess. I looked through the orientation module, and since it all sounds important, I decided to start with the first one. WHAT IS EASY LIFE?

"Welcome to the first module. If you are hearing this, congratulations for being chosen by God to reshape your life the way you initially wanted it to be."

"What is the Easy Life? Easy Life does not mean there's no work involved. Or that you won't face any obstacles in your life. No. Efforts are still required. Challenges will still needs to be faced. However, unlike the last time, where you heedlessly struggles to solve every challenges, you are now prepared for anything life throws at you."

"The Easy Life Augmented Reality system hosts a myriad of knowledge and skills you can master to solve any issues arises as you lived your daily lives. All you need to do, is select any branches of knowledge and skills you preferred using your iris as your cursor, and you can learn and practice said skills. Note that, you still need to learn the skills, only that the module provided makes it easier for you to master."

I can hardly believed it. I can't hardly believe I'm actually listening to a voice inside my head, but also that there's a universe level knowledge locked away inside my brain. And all I need to do was to click on a skill and I can learn it? Then, why won't there be any more geniuses reborn? God said last night, that many good people were reincarnated. So why did the world stayed the same shitty world as it is?

Using my eyes, I scrolled down until I stopped at an interesting orientation module. ELAR COMMON USER ISSUES.

"This module serve as a soft reminder to those currently using the Easy Life Augmented Reality system. Here are a few common issues that relegated the user from accessing the system."

"1. Reincarnated human beings will became complacent. Often, when mastering a skill or a knowledge, the user will want to share the learned materials to the world. This resulted in the user getting a lot of praises and monetary gain on their accomplishment. Which often resulted in them to stay in that one particular area, to stay dominant above the rest of the population."

"2. Reincarnated human beings will abuse the power that comes with the knowledge. As mentioned above, with knowledge comes power. With power, comes wealth and control. Power is like the root of a tree. It is essential to the growth of the tree, but left uncontrolled, and it can even wreck the house it was supposed to protect."

"3. Reincarnated human beings often died when trying to use their power for good. Human beings are creatures of spite. Jealousy will always be present, the second someone better than themselves are portrayed as the hero. Other human beings will often kill or destroyed the person with ELAR system, just so that there's nobody better than themselves. Even if the person was helping them."

"These are among the common major issues that reincarnated human beings with ELAR system often faced. We do hope that you survived, that you stay good, and that you can make this beautiful world our God created, a bit closer to its former glory."

I lay back on the floor. That was...some warning. But I do agreed with the creepy automated voice. If anything, that's just an astute observation on the human condition.

The rest of the orientation module was nothing major. Nothing I needed to actually be concerned about. I decided to read it later. Right now, I was excited to try learning the skills. I closed the orientation module, and it brought me back to the home screen. I chuckled a bit, since it looked like my old Playstation Vita. Maybe it was just me, since I love the Playstation Vita. I pushed the excitement of playing my PS Vita aside, and went to the knowledge modules. I clicked on it, and the list were endless. Literally endless. There's no way for me to actually learn it in my normal lifespan.

I closed the ELAR system. I needed the shower to think. Cold shower on a hot day always makes the brain work better.

"Hey there little boy. Just woke up?"

"Huh? Oh yeah grandma. I want to take a shower." I was really shocked at how cringy it is the way my three year old self talked. Then again, I am three.

"You wanted to take a shower? By yourself? Suddenly you like shower?"

Crap. Was I supposed to hate showers as a kid? Or was it just me? Ehh, let's just go with the best method of handling problems as a kid. Throwing a tantrum.

"Awhh grandma. It's so hot today. I wanted to play in the rain."

"Hahaha, okay then. But don't play too long. More than ten minutes, and I'm coming to take you out of the shower. We don't want the water bills to be as long as the electricity bill."

"Yeayyy, thanks grandma."

Cold water, running down from my head, cooling down my entire body, was the best feeling in the world. It helped me be more comfortable. I feel weightless. I felt like not a care in the world. It helped me focus. It helped me think.

I need to come up with the strategy to enable me to learn the knowledge. My brain might be limitless capacity, but my processing power is limited. There's no way I can handle multiple knowledge crammed inside my mind at the same time.

And then it hit me. Why not just improve my brain and my body? I'm sure there's a way. If there's a universe level library in the ELAR system, I'm sure there's a module for enhancing the brain power, and one for the body as well. Because I wanted to learn martial arts as well, and I need to be tough and fit for it.

I input the search in the query. Found it. Both of them. BRAIN MAXIMIZATION MODULE and PHYSICAL MAXIMIZATION MODULE. I clicked on both of them respectively, and by the time my ten minutes shower were up, I already knew the theory on how maximize my mind's processing capabilities, and my body strength and endurance level. Time to put it to practice.

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Hello, my name is C Bucket. I'm writing to fulfill my life long dream of buying a bucket of KFC fried chicken.

Please subscribe to my Patreon Kase Aufstrich, and help me buy a bucket of fried chicken.

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Sincerely,

C Bucket

Kase Aufstrich