2x08: You Are Woman, I Am Man

Episode Synopsis: Rachel begins rehearsals for Funny Girl, but her male co-star (Ioan Gruffud) makes it an uncomfortable experience for her, leaving her to decide to keep Finn in the dark about it. In order to make sure Finn has some fun, Puck takes Finn to a tattoo parlor where Puck decides to get a tattoo, only for them to bump into one of their old classmates from middle school (Nina Dobrev), the same classmate that had a crush on Finn.

{Scene shows Rachel sleeping in her bed in the New York loft as she hears the alarm ring. She hits the alarm clock and she wakes up and looks around the room with a smile.}

Rachel's Voice Over:

Today was the first day of the rest of my life: The first ever rehearsals for Funny Girl. I had been dreaming of this moment ever since I was a little girl, watching Fanny Brice sing and dance her way into my heart. To be honest, I'm not even nervous: I'm actually full of excitement because I know that this is one ride that I'm going to be on with my dearest friends and the love of my life: Finn.

{Rachel gets out of bed and makes her way to the closet as she looks through her clothing}

Before I can go and seize the day, I need to find something to wear. Something that says, "I'm serious about being on Broadway but something that won't make my husband feel uncomfortable." Husband…hmm…I love saying that. It still hasn't hit me that Finn and I are actually legally married and that we're finally on our way to a lifetime of love. I'm excited to share this journey with my best friend and my first love, I can talk to Finn about anything, well almost. He still gets nervous when I talk about Aunt Rose and he tries to change the subject just so he won't have to think about a week of me being in pain. Anyway, what am I going to choose to wear? How about something that helps me remember where I came from? I was just a Jewish girl in a Glee Club all the way from Lima, Ohio—before I had my first big break on Broadway. Maybe that's what I should go for. Something that reminds me of the old Rachel Berry and I knew exactly how I was going to dress for the occasion.

Rachel entered the kitchen a half hour later wearing a black skirt, white stockings, black Mary Jane shoes, a black reindeer sweater with a white collared shirt underneath, her ombre hair pin straight with a black and white plaid headband to go along with it. She noticed Finn flipping pancakes as if it was the hardest task in the history of the world. Rachel continued to gaze over at his hand, noticing the wedding band on his ring finger as he continued with his task of making breakfast. Rachel pinched herself to make sure that none of this was a dream; Finn was in the kitchen flipping pancakes and he was wearing a wedding band. Yep, this was really happening: Finn and Rachel were married in New York City. Finn turned around after flipping one of the pancakes, taking in what Rachel was wearing with a smile.

"Well good morning, beautiful." Finn grinned while staring at Rachel. Rachel slowly walked over to him, tracing her fingers across his chest, biting her lower lip as she looked into his eyes. "Looks like you're excited for your first day of Funny Girl rehearsals."

"It's going to suck knowing that you're not going to be there." Rachel admitted. "I got so used to just following you around everywhere from school to work…"

"I know, it's going to be weird not seeing you all day." Finn agreed. "You're going to be gone, rehearsing for your first Broadway show and I'll be just here…"

"So what are you going to do today?" Rachel wondered.

"I'll probably just study for an upcoming test or something." Finn shrugged his shoulders. "Then maybe tonight when you get home I'll get some chocolate covered strawberries, maybe some rose petals, some candles and we can talk about our day."

"Maybe more than talk?" Rachel slyly suggested, leaning up and pressing a kiss to Finn's forehead. Finn wrapped his arms around Rachel as he smiled suggestively at Rachel's words.

"That sounds lovely." Finn dreamily said.

"So Finn, I was wondering…" Rachel smirked at him. "What do you think about my outfit?" Finn observed Rachel's outfit, chuckling as he took it all in.

"Wow, that outfit is…AMAZING!" Finn stared down at Rachel's outfit but he found it peculiar that she was wearing clothes that were from when she was 15. "I kind of miss the reindeer sweaters."

"I know, I decided to wear the reindeer sweater to rehearsal just so they won't think I'm sexy or get any ideas about flirting with a married woman." Rachel grinned as Finn's smile disappeared. He looked as if he was observing Rachel's outfit now, trying to come up with some form of criticism.

"You're trying not to be sexy?" Finn's smile returned, running a hand through Rachel's hair. "Too late. I already think you are." Rachel laughed but as she continued to stare at Finn, she heard her phone go off. Rachel went into her pocket to grab her phone, giving Finn an apologetic glance. "Let me guess, you have to go?"

"Yeah, but I will be back tonight." Rachel promised. Rachel reluctantly got out of Finn's grasp, making her way over to get her bag from the hook on the door. "All right, I guess this is it."

"You're going to kick some serious ass today, Rachel." Finn assured her. "All you have to do is just be yourself and of course, don't forget to smile that beautiful smile I'm used to seeing every day." Rachel nodded her head, making her way over to Finn.

"I love you so much." Rachel pressed a kiss to Finn's lips as Finn held her tightly, not wanting to let her go. Finn reluctantly parted from Rachel, giving her one final kiss on her cheek as she giggled slightly.

"I love you too, Rachel." Finn saw Rachel grabbing her bag and heading out the door. "Just remember Rachel, you are a star!" Rachel blew a kiss to Finn as she closed the door behind her. Finn realized that he was alone, standing in the kitchen with a stack of pancakes…while his wife went to rehearse for her Funny Girl. Finn liked saying Rachel was his wife—it just made everything even more real. Finn saw Puck entering the kitchen, yawning and scratching the back of his neck, noticing that Finn had already made pancakes.

"Oh dude! I love you, man." Puck went over towards the pancakes to eat one, causing Finn to chuckle lightly.

"You're lucky Rachel had to go to her rehearsal." Finn smirked as Puck took a bite of the pancake. "She didn't even have time to eat them."

"That's what I'm here for dude." Puck said. "I eat Rachel's food when she's not around."

"Well don't let her hear you say that." Finn stared at Puck as Puck continued to eat the pancakes.

"So dude, what's the plan for today?" Puck spoke with his mouth full. If Rachel, Santana or Kurt were around, they would have told Puck to not talk with his mouth full of food. Luckily, it was just Finn there and Finn didn't really care.

"I'm going to probably brush up on some schoolwork." Finn said. "There's a test coming up and I really want to ace it."

"Dude, can I tell you something?" Puck wondered.

"Um, sure what is it?" Finn asked.

"You're completely boring, dude." Puck sighed. Finn used his pinky finger to try to clean into his ears, wondering if he heard Puck correctly.

"I'm boring?" Finn sounded surprised. "How am I boring? I'm the least boring person you know."

"Finn, ever since you got married you've been in here with Rachel, ignoring the rest of us while you were in your honeymoon phase." Puck said. "As I recall the other day, you thought that you had the house to yourself and when I came in all I saw was Rachel covering herself with your gigantic comforter and you using a pillow to cover your junk." Puck turned over to the living room couch as he shuddered. "I don't think I can ever sit on that couch again after what you and Rachel did to it."

"Please, like you never had sex on a couch before." Finn scoffed, sitting next to his friend.

"Yes, I have…just not a couch that everyone shares." Puck clarified. "Look Finn, you're losing your badassness."

"I'm pretty sure 'badassness' isn't even a word." Finn started at Puck.

"Anyway, you need to do something to get back into the game." Puck took another bite of his pancakes before continuing to speak to Finn. "We need to do something that's going to make you the man that everyone worshipped in High School." Puck snapped his fingers as an idea went through his mind. "I know what we're going to do."

"What are we going to do?" Finn worried about what Puck's plan was—but he had to admit that he was curious.

"We are going to go and get tattoos!" Puck declared.

"A tattoo?" Finn wondered. "I don't think I want one."

"Why not, Finn?" Puck sighed. "Everyone wants a tattoo."

"I don't think I could think of anything that I would love enough to have tattooed on my body for the next fifty years." Finn admitted. "I mean sure, Rachel has a tattoo and all but—"

"Wait! Rachel has a tattoo?" Puck's eyes widened. "Okay, that means we are totally going to go and get one. Rachel is more of a badass than you are. So what's the tattoo?"

"She has her initials and mine on her ankle." Finn said. "I think it's actually kind of cute."

"It's official! We're going to go and take a risk Finn." Puck patted Finn on his shoulder, trying to change is sensible friend's mind. "Go and get dressed, because my brother from another mother, we are going to go and get tattoos!"

"Oh no." Finn covered his eyes with is hand. "Are you sure this is a good idea, Puck?"

"I'm sure that this is a great idea!" Puck assured Finn. "Look, once Rachel sees your new tattoo, she won't be able to keep her hands off your body. She'll think that you're like Adam Levine from Maroon 5. Who knows maybe she'll ask you to do something naughty with a guitar just because she saw your tattoo."

"So you really think a tattoo of whatever is going to make my sex life with Rachel better?" Finn disbelievingly said. "I don't know."

"Fine, then I guess you don't want Rachel to ask you to sing her a song that you both know…very well." Puck wiggled his eyebrows.

"Puck, come on!" Finn shouted. "Don't use music as sexual innuendos. Anyway, I'm still not getting that tattoo."

"Fine, be a lame ass then." Puck taunted Finn. "Since you're my bro and all, I'll let you come with me to the tattoo parlor in order to watch me get a tattoo. Maybe you coming with me will make you tough enough to get one."

"All right Puck…IF I was to get a tattoo…I have no idea what I would want." Finn still was skeptical.

"Finn, there has to be something that you would love to have on your body forever." Finn thought about it for a moment, finally shaking his head.

"Nope, there's nothing." Finn said. "But if you really don't want to go alone, then I guess that I could go with you. I can't have anyone messing up your tattoo…I remembered what happened to Kurt when he decided to get one."

Finn, Santana and Rachel sat on the living room couch watching Moulin Rouge as Rachel explained what was happening in the movie to Finn every five seconds. Finn would point to the T.V. and constantly ask what was happening now. While Santana looked like she was going to find a gun and shoot Finn any moment, Rachel lovingly and patiently explained everything that was going on. Rachel, Santana and Finn heard the door open to the loft, Kurt strolling in as if he had something he wanted to say.

"Hey bro, what's going on?" Finn asked.

"You're never going to guess what I did on a whim today!" Kurt excitedly said.

"Let me guess, you got tickets to see Mamma Mia." Santana joked. "I mean that's the only thing that you get excited for."

"No, what I did was even better." Kurt couldn't contain himself much longer. "I went and got a tattoo."

"You what?!" Rachel seemed surprised that Kurt would do such a thing. Finn on the other hand was impressed.

"Dude, you got a tattoo? That's incredible!" Finn got off the couch, making his way to his brother. "Come on, let me see it. I want to see it."

"All right." Kurt took off his shirt and pointed right below his shoulder blade. "I couldn't decide whether or not to get a tattoo of Bette Milder or Barbra Streisand so I made a mash-up picture on the internet and gave it to the guy at the tattoo parlor to copy it." Finn looked at the tattoo, but his smile diminished and he continued to just stare at it. Kurt had a teeny tiny problem. "So what do you think?"

"You said that you got Barbra Streisand and Bette Milder on your back?" Finn wondered. "How far along your back because it's pretty far down…and there's no picture there…?"

"What?" Kurt looked back to Finn with interest. "Stop kidding Finn, what are you talking about?"

"Finn's nicely putting it this way: You have a tramp stamp." Santana laughed causing Rachel to shoot a look to Santana.

"WHAT?!" Kurt ran over to the mirror, turning around to get a good look at it. "Oh my god! OH MY GOD!" Finn and Rachel gazed at Kurt as Kurt started hyperventilating in front of the mirror, something Santana found rather comical. "I HAVE A TRAMP STAMP!"

"Did Kurt get that removed or…?" Puck wondered.

"I ended up going with him to the parlor and demanding that he get his money back." Finn said. "The tattoo artist punched me in the face for even making such a request."

"Tough tattoo parlors?" Puck got up from the table, making his way to his room. "Come on Finn, let's go there. It sounds like we're going to have an awesome day there." Finn took the plate that was on the table, making his way over to the sink and throwing the plate in there. He really didn't know what he was going to do with Puck—but he had to admit, he was curious to see what tattoo Puck was going to choose. Finn would never admit it to anyone, but there was something he wanted to get a tattoo of: he was afraid that he was going to be laughed at. That was the issue.

An hour later, Puck and Finn entered the tattoo parlor as they stared around at everyone getting tattoos or picking out a tattoo. Finn had to admit that he was amazed, but he would never say it aloud to give Puck the satisfaction that for once Puck was right. Puck and Finn walked over to the counter, spotting someone behind it. Puck knew he was going to have to turn on the Puckerman charm when he noticed it was a lady behind the counter, sorting through the papers.

"Excuse me miss, but we're here to get tattoos." Puck smoothly stated. "We were wondering if someone as fine as yourself would please assist us."

"Why are you flirting with the lady behind the counter?" Finn whispered. "Aren't you dating Quinn?"

"Quinn's not here now, is she?" Puck whispered back before giving the woman behind the counter his attention. "So I was wondering if you wouldn't mi—" Puck didn't get far when he saw the girl turn around, Finn and Puck immediately knowing who it was. "Oh my god…"

"It can't be." Finn added. The girl looked up at Finn and Puck, her eyes widening in shock. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. She shook her head just to make sure that she was seeing clearly. It was true…she recognized the two men standing before her.

"Finn Hudson? Noah Puckerman?" The girl asked, staring at the both of them. "I don't believe this. What are you two doing here?"

"Wait, you're Stacy Jones, right?" Puck pointed to her. "Stacy with the hot mom, right?"

"Um, I guess you can say that?" Stacy seemed uncomfortable. "A lot of the guys did like my mother, although I was sure that it was because her face looked like she was in her mid-twenties."

"So how is she?" Puck wondered.

"She had plastic surgery so she still looks like she's twenty-five." Stacy answered. Stacy fixated her glance to Finn, giving him a smile. "You know I had a pretty hard crush on you when we were in middle school."

"I know…you were the one that left the 40 valentines in my locker on Valentines Day." Finn chuckled, looking down to his feet. "I was touched, and I was glad that you sent them. I thought I was going to literally get none."

"Oh you were always popular." Stacy shrugged off Finn's insecurity. "I guess I kind of hoped that I would be the one that you fell in love with." Stacy cleared her throat, looking away from Finn. "So anyway, how have you been? I mean it's been a long time since I've seen you, especially since I moved to New York City after eighth grade."

"Right, well I'm in the city because I'm going to school." Finn said.

"Oh, what kind of school?" Stacy asked.

"NYADA. That's the New York Academy for the Dramatic Arts." Finn explained.

"A performing arts school?" Stacy seemed impressed. "I always thought that you would have joined a school that had football involved. You were interested in it ever since you were a kid."

"I was." Finn admitted. "But when I was in High School, I found love for the performing arts. I mean the rush of being on stage. It was incredible. I never would have had the guts to get on that stage if it weren't for my wife and all…"

"Wait…you said wife." Stacy pointed at Finn. "Finn, are you…"

"Oh, right." Finn realized he didn't explain that tiny part to her. "I'm a married man, Stacy."

"You're married?" Stacy still couldn't get it out of her head. Finn Hudson, the boy she had a crush on when they were twelve was married at the age of nineteen. "Congratulations. You're life is over."

"No, it doesn't feel like my life is over at all." Finn said. "It actually feels wonderful. It's the first time that I've really felt at peace with myself. I mean, I have a woman that's going to make me feel loved and it was because of her that I came out of my shell."

"Yeah, but when they got married Finn went back into the rabbit hole." Puck joked. Finn almost forgot that Puck was standing next to him. "All he does is stay home. I had to coax him to come out of his little turtle shell to come to the tattoo parlor with me."

"That's not true." Finn retorted.

"Yes it is." Puck nodded his head. "You spend all of your time holed up in the loft, doting on Rachel, giving in to her every command. She has you wrapped around her finger."

"Wait, Rachel?" Stacy wondered. "Rachel Berry, the girl that no one wanted to associate themselves with because she was so high maintenance? You married her?"

"Rachel's a wonderful girl." Finn said. "Sure she's competitive and high strung and she does anything to get what she wants but that's what I love about her. She's so sure of herself and she knows what she wants. She's actually on Broadway as Fanny in Funny Girl."

"Really?" Stacy seemed impressed. "Wow, well I'm sure she's going to be great. She had potential when she was in middle school; it was just her attitude that had everyone running for their lives."

"Well she's less uptight now." Finn assured Stacy. "Anyway, so to change the subject you're a tattoo artist now?"

'Yep, the last guy that worked here was fired because apparently he punched some dude in the face after the dude demanded a refund." Stacy said. "The dude said something about his brother getting a tramp stamp."

"Oh…" Finn knew that Stacy was talking about him, but Stacy was oblivious that it was Finn involved in that situation. "So anyway, are you going to do Puck's tattoo?"

"Yep, I'll do Noah's tattoo." Stacy agreed. "Are you going to get one?"

"Me?" Finn shook his head afterwards, giving Puck a glance. "I am not going to get a tattoo. Puck was the one that dragged me here."

"I'm telling you, Stacy. Finn is just like a lot of the preppy dudes in this town." Puck joked, staring at Finn. "I mean he goes to school, goes home, does homework, works on the Glee Club and somehow even acting like a little nerd, he gets laid. I don't get it. Finn's just missing the slicked hair and the gigantic glasses."

"Not to mention the suspenders." Stacy added.

"All right, is this 'let's bag on Finn day'?" Finn asked. "Look, I'm not going to lie, getting a tattoo seems like something adventurous and interesting, but it's not for me Noah and you should know that."

"Which makes you the corniest white dude in New York City." Puck folded his hands with an eyebrow raised.

"Oh, so I'm a corny white dude, huh?" Finn wasn't offended by Puck's words, but he now was gazing at Puck with interest. "That's funny because…I think I'm pretty fly for a white guy…"

{One of the people in the tattoo parlor start playing guitar and Finn smirks as Puck looks over at Finn and Stacy. Stacy walks from behind the counter, staring at Finn with a smirk}

[Stacy](Finn)

Give it to me baby (Uh-huh, Uh-huh)

Give it to me baby (Uh-huh, Uh-huh)

Give it to me baby (Uh-huh, Uh-huh)

[Finn]

And all the girlies say, I'm pretty fly for a white guy

{Puck grabs one of the guitars in the tattoo parlor and starts jamming along as Finn gets on the tables and Stacy follows him with a smile}

[Puck]

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis

[Finn]

You know it's kind of hard

Just to get along today

Our subject isn't cool

But he fakes it anyway

He may not have a clue

And he may not have style

But everything he lacks

Well he makes up in denial

So don't debate, a player straight

You know he really doesn't get it anyway

He's gonna play the field, and keep it real

For you no way, for you no way

So if you don't rate, just overcompensate

At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake

The world needs wannabes

So (Hey! Hey!) do that brand new thing!

[Stacy](Finn)

Give it to me baby (Uh-huh, Uh-huh)

Give it to me baby (Uh-huh, Uh-huh)

Give it to me baby (Uh-huh, Uh-huh)

[Finn]

And all the girlies say, I'm pretty fly(Stacy: for a white guy)

He needs some cool tunes

Not just any will suffice

But they didn't have Ice Cube

So he bought Vanilla Ice

Now cruising in his Pinto, he sees homies as he pass

But if he looks twice, they're gonna kick his lily ass!

So don't debate, a player straight

You know he really doesn't get it anyway

He's gonna play the field, and keep it real

For you no way, for you no way

So if you don't rate, just overcompensate

At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake

The world needs wannabes

So (Hey! Hey!) do that brand new thing!

{Finn sits in one of the tattoo chairs and sees Stacy holding up multiple needles and Finn shrugs his shoulders}

Now he's getting a tattoo, yeah

He's getting ink done

He asked for a '13' but they drew a '31'

Friends say he's trying too hard

And he's not quite hip

But in his own mind

He's the, he's the dopest trip!

[Stacy](Finn)

Give it to me baby (Uh-huh, Uh-huh)

Give it to me baby (Uh-huh, Uh-huh)

Give it to me baby (Uh-huh, Uh-huh)

[Puck]

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis

[Finn]

So don't debate, a player straight

You know he really doesn't get it anyway

He's gonna play the field, and keep it real

For you no way, for you no way

So if you don't rate, just overcompensate

At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake

The world needs wannabes

Yeah the world loves wannabes

So let's get some more wannabes

So (Hey! Hey!) do that brand new thing

The tattoo parlor shook with cheers as Puck, Finn and Stacy bowed to them. Stacy had to admit that she missed hanging out with Puck and Finn—especially Finn. Of course, Stacy knew that Finn was now a married man…but that wouldn't stop her from showing Finn that she also had a lot to offer him—maybe even more than that Rachel Berry girl.

"So now that you're both here, why don't we get you started on some tattoos?" Stacy sweetly said, staring over at Finn. "Who wants one first?"

"I'll go first." Puck walked forward, giving Finn a smirk. "I'm man enough to actually get one, unlike my friend over here."

"Oh please." Finn rolled his eyes as Stacy grabbed some of her utensils.

"Is there anything that you would want on your arm, Puck?" Stacy asked.

"How about you draw the Cleveland Indians logo on my arm." Puck suggested. "It will look so hot and it takes me back my roots."

"Puck, this is New York City." Stacy reminded him. "It wouldn't hurt to get a New York Yankees tattoo or maybe a New York Mets one." As Stacy and Puck spoke, Finn went into his pocket and stared at the design that was on it, a smile growing on his face. Since Finn was here, he might as well get a tattoo—but not while Puck was around.

Rachel walked up to the theatre where the rehearsals for Funny Girl were, and she had to admit that she was shocked. She had never imagined that she would be the one to play the lead role in such an iconic Broadway show. She memorized the movie by heart, she knew all the songs, she idolized Barbra Streisand as Fanny Brice; and now here Rachel was following Barbra's footsteps, being the star of the newest adaption. Rachel only hoped that she could fill the shoes of Barbra. She wanted to make Finn proud of her, and Rachel kept telling herself that she was doing this all for him. She wanted him to be with someone who was just as successful as he was. Rachel had to admit to herself that she thought Finn was the one who had his goals in mind, and she meant realistic goals, not just some goals that would be almost impossible to fulfill. Rachel took a deep breath, knowing that she had to go in the building sometime. This was it…it was time to get to work for Opening Night.

Rachel entered the building, walking through the hallways until she reached the auditorium. She spotted Mr. Campion talking with someone that Rachel instantly recognized; it was Paolo San Pablo. He was in multiple Broadway shows that Rachel had seen before; she was sure that Finn was a little tense every time Rachel mentioned him, with the fear that if Rachel ever met him that she would ride away in Paolo's Ferrari, leaving Finn in the dust. Rachel walked over to Mr. Campion and Paolo, waving to the director as she prepared for her first day of work.

"Rachel!" Mr. Campion clapped his hands, glad that his start was finally here. "I'm so glad that you were able to make it."

"I wouldn't miss this for anything in the world." Rachel beamed, staring over at Paolo. "And you must be the dashing Paolo San Pablo, who is to play Nick Arnstein in the production of Funny Girl. My friend Kurt and I have seen all of your Broadway shows live and I must say that you are more handsome in person."

"Why thank you, Rachel." Paolo bowed slightly towards Rachel, giving her a look of interest. Rachel smiled politely, but in the pit of her stomach, she felt that there suddenly was something wrong. "Rupert, I was wondering if we could get started on rehearsal. As we all know, I am a busy man after all."

"But of course, Paolo." Mr. Campion agreed. Rachel took off her coat as Mr. Campion took in Rachel's outfit, noticing the reindeer sweater. "Rachel, I had no idea that you had an interest in reindeer."

"Oh, I figured that since Barbra played the role of Fanny on Broadway while being true to herself, I thought I would do the same thing." Rachel explained. "You see, I tapped back into my old roots and I decided to wear the clothes that I wore before I was a star. I promise that for the main show, the red carpet, possibly the Tony's that the reindeer sweaters will be under lock and key. My husband will be sure of that." Mr. Campion gave Rachel a warm smile.

"As long as your husband makes sure that the reindeer sweaters stay at home." Mr. Campion chuckled. "All right, let's rehearse the number You Are Woman, I Am Man." Rachel got on the stage as she sat on one of the seats. Paolo walked past Rachel but he brushed his arm across her leg as he walked by. Rachel felt shivers go down her spine, and she had to admit that there was something odd about Paolo. Rachel just couldn't put her finger on it. Rachel sat there as the music began to play, feeling the excitement rush over her once again.

{Paolo walks around Rachel as Rachel sits down on the couch, staring over at Paolo with fake lust. Paolo gives Rachel a smirk and Rachel tries to stay into character but feels something wrong}

[Paolo]

You are woman, I am man

You are smaller, so I can be taller than

You are softer to the touch

It's a feeling I like very much

{Paolo sits down next to Rachel and gets a little too close for Rachel's comfort as Rachel continues to pretend that everything is fine. Paolo puts his hand on Rachel's bare leg, causing Rachel to feel uncomfortable}

You are someone, I've admired

Still, our friendship

Leaves something to be desired

Does it take more explanation than this

You are woman, I am man

Let's kiss…

{Rachel shrugs off Paolo's advances and she gets up as if she is acting, walking around the couch in a way that Mr. Campion won't suspect anything}

[Rachel]

Isn't this the height of nonchalance

Furnishing a bed in restaurants

Well, a bit of dinner never hurt

But guess who is going to be dessert

Do good girls do just what mama says

But mama's not around, it's a feeling

Oy vey what a feeling

[Paolo]

A bit of pate?

[Rachel]

Oh, I'd drink it all day

Should I do the things he'll tell me to

In this pickle, what would Sadie do

In my soul I feel an inner lack

Just suppose he wants his dinner back

Now I feel that there's a fire here

Oh, try that once a little higher dear

What a beast to ruin such a pearl

Would a convent take a Jewish girl

{Rachel sits back down on the couch and Paolo moves closer to her as he and Rachel pretend to laugh. Paolo leans closer to Rachel and his hand goes up her leg near her skirt as Rachel feels extremely uncomfortable but Rachel pretends she's still acting although she feels extremely shaken up}

[Paolo]

You are woman

[Rachel]

You are man…

[Paolo]

Let's…

"Brilliant!" Mr. Campion shouted as Rachel and Paolo turned to him. "The sexual tension, the frustration, the angst! That's exactly what this show needs and Rachel I must saw that you bought it! I knew I made the right choice in making you Fanny Brice. Now we're going to take a quick break and then we're going to rehearse Sadie, Sadie afterward, so take five everyone!" Mr. Campion walked away from Rachel and Paolo as Rachel played with a strand of her ombre hair. Rachel turned around, wondering if she should say something to Paolo. Maybe him acting that way was just all acting, and it was a part of the script. Then again, Rachel didn't remember it being in the script when she worked on the song. Rachel walked over to Paolo, holding her script close to her and forcing a smile.

"Well Paolo, I must say that you are a very good actor." Rachel tried to be cordial. "You must have been acting a long time."

"Rachel, let me tell you something," Paolo sat down in one of the chairs. "My acting is quite different from how I feel in real life. I'm sure that someone who has watched my work for as long as you say could decipher that."

"Um, I'm not sure I understand what you are saying." Rachel quizzically glanced at Paolo. "Is there something I'm missing?"

"Rachel, I like you," Paolo got out of his chair, making his way over to Rachel as Rachel started to feel uncomfortable. "I like you a lot."

"I'm sorry?" Rachel shook her head, not understanding what was going on.

"I've never had a costar that I've had feelings like this for, and I know we only just met but it feels like I've known you my entire life." Paolo got closer to Rachel's face. Rachel knew that there was something wrong with him. He was creepy, and Rachel was sure he was trying to hit on her.

"Okay, let's get something straight," Rachel found the courage in her voice. "You're like possibly fifteen years older than me for one thing and another thing, I'm married! I'm not going to date any of my co-stars because I am happily married to the man I love. I know 19 is a young age to get married but this is something that I wanted more than anything. I'm in love with my husband and if you have a problem with that, then you can—" Rachel didn't get far as Paolo leaned in and pressed a kiss to Rachel's lips, causing Rachel to feel shocked and absolutely disgusted. Paolo parted his lips from Rachel as Rachel let out shaky breaths, staring at Paolo in fear.

"Are you done talking?" Paolo wondered before his face turned serious. "Good. Now listen here, I get what I want from my costars and I don't want to have to get you fired from this show because you don't put out. I can give two flying pigs if you're in love with your husband, when you're at rehearsal he's not here to help you. When it's rehearsal time, that means you are mine—and you are going to like it. Understood? Now…you're going to be a good girl, and you're going to give me whatever I want. I'll see you later, and we will rehearse every scene that we are in together…properly." Paolo walked past Rachel as Rachel stood there in complete shock. She had never had to deal with something like this before. She should have sensed that something was wrong with Paolo from the moment she saw him—but she didn't, and now if she didn't give Paolo what he wanted, he could get Rachel fired from her first big break. Rachel leaned against the auditorium wall and slid down until she was in a sitting position, tears rushing down her face as she started to sob.

"I can't believe you backed out of getting a tattoo." Puck said as he and Finn entered the loft later that afternoon. "I mean come on Finn, that's pretty sad. The Finn I knew in High School would have gotten tattoos and more."

"Yeah, until my mom grounded me for life when she saw them." Finn went to the kitchen to grab a couple of bottles of soda, handing one to Puck as the two friends sat down. "So what did you eventually get?"

"I got a tattoo of a skull." Puck shrugged his shoulders. "I figured that it would have been something that I wanted that represents what a tough guy I am."

"Sure." Finn drank a bit of his soda, seeing Puck moving his arm around.

"I forgot that getting tattoos hurt." Puck said.

"Hence why, I didn't get one." Finn smirked. "Rachel would never go to bed with me if I was in terrible pain and I love being with my wife more than getting body art."

"So you admit it's art." Puck smirked.

"Yes, I admit that it's art." Finn sighed. "But I'm just saying, I can't think of anything that I would want to get for the next fifty years tattooed on my arm or my ribcage. It's just, a tattoo is permanent. That's what I told Rachel when she went to go get a tattoo…and I don't think she regrets it."

"Well she loved you enough to get your initials on her ankle." Puck said. "She must feel that you two are going to last forever."

"We are going to last forever." Finn reminded Puck. "I don't see myself with anyone else. She's my shining star whenever I need someone to guide me."

"Right." Puck chuckled. Finn got up from his seat, going into the fridge to get the chocolate covered strawberries he bought earlier, releasing a smirk towards Puck.

"Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go and plan my night." Finn said. "These chocolate cover strawberries and rose petals aren't going to plant themselves around our bedroom."

"All right, just make sure you and Rachel keep it down tonight." Puck chided. "They're giving the New York Giants game on television and I don't need your sex noises drowning out the referees making blown calls against the New England Patriots."

"Ha, ha. Very funny." Finn walked out of the kitchen and headed towards his bedroom in order to start planning the perfect evening for when Rachel returned from her first day at rehearsal. Finn closed the door to the bedroom but as he closed the door, he let out a small smile, locking the room door and heading into the private bathroom that he and Rachel shared. Finn closed the door to the bathroom, locking it right behind him and making his way to the mirror. Finn released a sigh, lifting up his shirt slightly just enough to see his ribcage, observing the tattoo that he got at the parlor when Puck was busy trying to hit on Stacy. In truth, Finn did think of something he'd want on his body for the rest of his life. On his ribcage, just big enough that it was visible were the words 'Rachel Berry' in what looked to be an exact copy of her handwriting and right next to her maiden name…was a tiny gold star. Finn took out the paper from his pocket and opened it, revealing it to be the paper Rachel lavishly signed when she decided to audition for the Glee Club at McKinley. When no one was looking their sophomore year, Finn had ripped the paper off the bulletin board and kept Rachel's signature (gold star sticker included) in his wallet ever since that day. Finn knew he wanted Rachel's signature as a tattoo on his body from the moment he sensed they were going to last forever. That tattoo was a constant reminder to Finn of how much he loved Rachel, and how permanent she was going to be in his life from now on.

Rachel grabbed her bag from her dressing room later that afternoon, feeling relieved that she was finally going home to Finn. As Rachel started making her way out the door, she bumped into none other than Paolo, causing Rachel to release a groan. She didn't want anything to do with Paolo, especially now that she was officially off the clock. Paolo smirked at Rachel, putting his hand on Rachel's shoulder and tracing circles with his thumb on her upper back.

"I had a wonderful rehearsal today, Rachel." Paolo leaned closer to Rachel, causing Rachel to look frightened towards him. "I'm looking forward to tomorrow's…" Rachel got out of Paolo's grasp, running out the door and feeling her heart race in fear. She raced out of the theatre, looking up at the awning. She couldn't believe it, she never thought that she would have something that could make her hate coming to the theatre. Rachel felt the tears come to her face as she started walking away and heading to the train station in order to take the train home. Rachel wiped the tears from her face, wishing that she could turn back time to forget that something like this ever happened. Rachel didn't know what she was going to do. She couldn't tell Finn about it and if she told anyone else, they would think that Rachel was the one that started it, and she would have been fired from Funny Girl. Paolo was a Broadway veteran—everyone would take his word over Rachel's word. Rachel didn't know what she was going to do. Just yesterday, she idolized Paolo and his work—now she wished she never had met him…

{Rachel walks down the street and she looks down towards Sardi's, staring at it and seeing Paolo's picture in the window as Sardi's promotes Funny Girl}

[Rachel]

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away

Now it looks as though they're here to stay

Oh I believe in yesterday

Suddenly, I'm not half the girl I used to be

There's a shadow hanging over me

Oh, yesterday came suddenly

{Rachel ends up in Central Park as she stands on Bow Bridge, remembering where Finn proposed to her and she thinks about what Paolo did to her during rehearsals}

Why he had to go I don't know he wouldn't say

I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday

Hey-Ye-Ye-Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play

Now, I need a place to hide away

Oh, I believe in Yesterday

{Rachel walks through the park and she wipes the tears that are on her face, sadly looking down at her wedding ring}

Why he had to go I don't know he wouldn't say

I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday

{Scene changes to Rachel walking down the streets in Brooklyn towards the loft and Rachel sighs as she shakes her head}

Hey-Ye-Oh-Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hide away

Oh I believe in yesterday

{Rachel ends up in front of the loft door and she takes out her key, looking saddened as she sighs}

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Rachel opened the front door to the apartment, spotting Puck as he watched television. Rachel put her key in her bag as she sat down on the couch, not noticing that Puck had stopped watching the television and started eyeing her with interest. Something was bothering Rachel and he wasn't quite sure why he was supposed to care—but he did.

"What happened? The director yelled at you because you messed up your lines or something?" Puck joked. Rachel wasn't in the mood for Puck's games, shaking her head and looking angry.

"I don't have time for your games, Noah!" Rachel shouted, but Puck stopped joking when he realized that Rachel was on the verge of crying.

"Rachel, I was just kidding." Puck put his hand up defensively. Puck then patted the sofa seat that was next to him, inviting Rachel to sit and talk. Rachel reluctantly got up from her seat and made her way over to Puck, sitting down and playing with a strand of her hair. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. It's just…" Puck realized that Rachel was looking away from him, not wanting him to see the pain in her eyes. That was when Puck knew something had to have happened—something big. "Rachel, you have to tell me what's going on. What happened at rehearsal today? I mean, Finn said you were so excited about going to rehearse and now you look like it was the worst experience in the history of the world. Please say something Rachel. Please?" Rachel looked to Puck, but when she opened her mouth, all that came out was a choked sob. Rachel couldn't hold her feelings in any longer. She leaned into Puck and started sobbing on his shoulder. Instinctively, Puck wrapped his arms around Rachel, soothingly rubbing her back. Finn should probably be in the room right now in order to talk to her. "Do you want me to go get Finn?" Puck whispered as Rachel continued to cry. Rachel shook her head as she continued to sob.

"My costar is one gigantic pervert." Rachel sobbed as she spoke. Puck felt anger go through his body as he pulled Rachel back to look into her sad eyes.

"Rachel…did he…did he touch you or something?" Puck had to ask. He had to know because if he did, then Finn would have to get involved. "Come on, you have to be honest with me Rachel."

"During our rehearsal I thought that he was just acting but I figured it was something much worse when he wouldn't stop touching my leg," Rachel wiped some of the tears from her face as Puck continued to study her. "Then I was trying to tell him that I love Finn and that I was never going to cheat on him just to be in a show…he…he kissed me." Rachel started crying again as Puck shook his head angrily.

"Rachel, you have to tell Finn what you just told me." Puck said. "Finn has to know so that he can get involved."

"No." Rachel shook her head while the tears continued to fall. "I can't tell Finn. Finn will think I was cheating or something."

"Rachel, what happened today was not your fault." Puck assured her in a gentle tone. "Finn's not going to be mad at you. Is he going to get mad? Of course, but it's not going to be with you…he's going to be mad at the jackass that touched you inappropriately. Rachel, you need to report that douche."

"I can't." Rachel sadly sighed. "Everyone will take his word over mine because he's a Broadway veteran…and I don't have proof that he did what he did. Everyone will think I'm lying and then I'll get fired from the one job that I love."

"So what are you going to do? Bottle up your feelings until you explode, because Finn did that and look where he ended up, the hospital." Puck reminded Rachel about Finn's issues with his father. "Rachel, what happened today…you didn't deserve that…and it wasn't fair or right for someone to put their hands on you like that. I know you don't want to worry Finn because you think he has problems of his own…but Finn loves you and you're not going to be a burden to him. You need someone right now."

"Maybe if I don't say anything, the problem will go away." Rachel irrationally thought. "That way no one will have to worry."

"Rachel." Puck felt his voice turn a little firm. "He's not going to stop. Pretending that there's no problem isn't going to make the problem go away. You have to tell Finn…or someone."

"No I don't." Rachel firmly said. "And you're not going to tell Finn either. Promise me, Noah. Promise me that you're not going to tell Finn what happened at work today." Puck continued to look at Rachel, slowly realizing that maybe there was no use in arguing with her. She was set on Finn not finding out in fear that something would happen to her Broadway career.

"All right." Puck softly said. "I promise." Rachel nodded her head and got up from the sofa to make her way to the kitchen. As Puck stared at Rachel leaving, he couldn't help but worry that she was more concerned about her job than she was about her safety. Puck knew that this could end badly for everyone if Rachel didn't say anything…but what else could he do? He had already promised her that Finn wouldn't know about this. He just hoped that Rachel came to her senses and decided to tell Finn everything that was going on.

GUEST STARRING

Nina Dobrev as Stacy Jones

Peter Facinelli as Rupert Campion

Ioan Gruffudd as Paolo San Pablo

SONG(S):

Pretty Fly (For A White Guy) [Originally by The Offspring]: Performed by Stacy Jones, Finn Hudson and Noah "Puck" Puckerman with Tattoo customers

You Are Woman, I Am Man (Originally from Funny Girl): Performed by Paolo San Pablo and Rachel Berry

Yesterday (Originally by The Beatles): Performed by Rachel Berry