EXPRESSION OF FEELING
The shocking conversation last night made Gita keep racking her brain. What really made Barra reveal it all? Gita's problems at school haven't been solved yet, now Barra's attitude is different from hers.
On a cool Sunday morning, Gita was busy sweeping the dry sapodilla tree leaves that were scattered due to the heavy rain last night.
Gita's gaze shifted to the wheel of a motorcycle that stopped outside the fence of her house. Gita's smile widened when she saw Barra, who had not come to the house for two days and had not contacted Gita.
"Bro Barra?" call Gita.
"Yeah, what's wrong? You look like you've never seen me before!" replied Barra smiling.
"I thought you would never come to this house again after last night's incident, Bro…" said Gita, lowering her head.
Barra looked breathless for a moment.
"I'm not angry. I just want to calm my mind and heart so as not to make you panic more. So I didn't come here and didn't give you any news. But I find it very difficult to hold back my longing for you," Barra paused for a moment.
"I miss you, Gita. And I can't seem to linger long to see you. My day is not as colorful as usual when I see your smile,"
"But, you don't need to feel confused or dizzy! Just let this love I feel alone. You don't feel awkward or restless!"
"Besides, I'm not asking you out on a date. I'm asking you to marry, and the time to get married isn't in the near future, is it? Your future is still very long. I will continue to walk and wait beside you and watch you achieve your goals!" continued Barra again.
“Bro, didn't you make the wrong decision? Are you not wrong in choosing a woman to be your partner in the future? I'm still a kid, Bro! There are still many women your age out there who are more deserving of your love!" Gita replied.
"Then is this love my fault? Is it all wrong that this love is only directed at you?" Barra asked seriously. Shaking his head Barra said again.
"Please don't force what you think on me! I like you, that's the truth. If you don't have the same feelings as me, because it's not time for you to reciprocate my feelings, Gita!"
"I just can't wait to say that I have feelings for you. I'm afraid, you will receive another love that comes to you too often. I just want you to know that I love you and I hope you can keep your heart just for me until that happy time comes!"
"I also promise not to do things that are forbidden to you. My feelings are special, Gita. And this special feeling is only for a special girl like you!"
Gita was silent after hearing Barra's long words while whispering in her heart.
'Oh my God, how much does he have in store for me? Can I accept it? But, I'm still too small for Bro Barra? Please guide me, O Lord!'
'I know Bro Barra is a good man. But why is his love directed at me?'
'If that's the way you want it, Lord. Please keep my heart from hurting and disappointing Bro Barra when the good times come…'
Gita stared blankly at Barra's face in her thoughts.
"Hi, why are you daydreaming like this, huh? You just keep on cleaning up all this leaf litter properly. From the myth I heard, if a girl doesn't get her job done while cleaning something, then that girl's mate won't be good looking!"
"And I don't want the man who will be your soul mate to be someone else. Your soulmate must be me, therefore you have to clean all this very well, okay?" A pinch from Barra on Gita's nose brought her out of her thoughts.
"I'll mask inside and see mom. I miss mom and her cooking too!" continued Barra said.
Barra looks very happy. What Barra feels now is lighter because she has revealed everything to Gita. Barra will also accept whatever Gita's decision is now. And when the time comes, Barra will try harder to get Gita to accept it.
***
Whether it's because their story has been arranged by fate, Barra and Gita's relationship is getting closer day by day.
After Gita finds out the feelings that Barra feels only for her, there are also buds of affection in Gita's heart.
'He's getting different. From the start, his attention has never diminished in the slightest for me and my family. But until now his attention made me feel even more guilty that I hadn't given him any reassurance.'
'Why don't you just give up, Bro? There will be many women out there waiting for your proposal. How lucky am I?'
'Will when I grow up, you will still wait for an answer from me? Will you continue to accompany me every day? Do you still have feelings for me if one day another love comes to greet you when I try to protect my heart from anyone?' Gita wrote in her diary.
***
On the terrace of the house, the two of them sat with a cup of warm sweet tea and a cup of water, also accompanied by a jar of biscuits. Gita and Barra feel the cool night breeze blowing while waiting for Barra to go to work the night shift.
While in the house there are Mr. Hasan and Mrs. Laila who are relaxing watching their favorite tv shows.
"Gita..." Barra called slowly.
"Hmm, why, Bro?" said Gita who was still focused on the cellphone in her hand because Gita was reading a teen romance novel in one of the digital novel applications on her cellphone.
"Tsk! Look at me for a second, Gita!" call Barra again.
"Hmm, just a minute!" Gita said as she turned off her cellphone and then turned to Barra.
"What's wrong Bro Barra ugly?" Gita teased while pinching Barra's sharp nose.
"Are you hiding something from me?" Barra asked seriously while looking at Gita's face.
"What am I hiding from you? I'm not hiding anything from you!" Gita answered clumsily.
"Are you going to continue to lie and cover up your true state?"
"Don't you still receive love letters and prank calls from your admirers? How come you never complain about it again after I confessed my feelings to you?"
Gita immediately fell silent hearing what she was hiding from Barra, Barra himself found out.
"How did you know that, Bro?" asked Gita.
"I found out after Mom complained when she told me about the several times she received prank calls. When picked up and greeted, no one responded to Mom's words even though the phone was still connected."
"This afternoon while you were resting in your room, I also received the same call, but I was not silent. I told the caller that I was your lover. And what happened? The caller immediately cursed me as 'asshole' and then hung up,"
Barra told the incident to Gita until Gita gasped in disbelief.
"Do you still want to keep all that annoyance a secret from me, Gita?" Barra asked again.
"It's not like that, Bro! I'm just still afraid, to be honest with my own heart," said Gita, looking down sadly.
"What else are you afraid of? Since when did my Gita become cowardly to express its income?" Barra said annoyed.
"Since I realized my heart started to accept you. I'm confused about bringing this feeling to slowly liking you…" Gita answered doubtfully.
"I realized that I had accepted your feelings, Bro. But I immediately remembered my promise to Zaki. I don't want to be a hypocrite who failed to fulfill my own promise, Bro!" continued the Gita again.
Barra rolled his eyes and smiled widely.
'I told you the Gita was different, my God. Thank you for opening her heart to me,' Barra said in his heart.
Barra took Gita's hand to hold it tightly.
"Thank you for accepting my feelings. I promise you that I will make you happy as long as you are by my side."
"Regarding your promise to Zaki, don't worry too much about it! Just smile and always be happy beside me, then you won't hurt his heart by breaking your promise to him!"
"Didn't you promise not to date anyone before you grew up? Okay…"
"I love you and you have also returned my love. But we're not dating, right? We're not in any kind of relationship right now, so you haven't broken any promises to him!"
Gita smiled with teary eyes as she looked at Barra.
"Leave all your troubles to me, Gita! Just continue education without thinking about heart problems. Let me take care of the things that make you sad from now on!" Barra continued.
"Then what are you going to do, Bro?" Gita asked confused.
"I will tie you up to be my fiancé!" said Barra momentarily.
"Hah!?" Gita is shocked.
"Only when you are ready to accept my proposal. It's probably about a year from when you finish your junior high school!" continued Barra said.
"Don't carelessly say and make decisions, Bro!" Gita persuaded Barra.
Barra just smiled at Gita while stroking the hair on Gita's head.
"Come inside. We will discuss this matter tomorrow. I have to go to work already!" said Barra as he got up and said goodbye. Barra smiled as he started the engine and quickly left.
"Be careful, Bro!" said Gita quietly when Barra had passed.