Chapter 42

I fumble with the keys, a goofy smile on my face. As always, I can feel Savannah's gaze heating me up, and every single time I always get hotter and hotter, just like every other feeling she gives me. The more time passes, the more intense everything gets, I wouldn't be surprised if she'll completely numb my head. Who am I kidding, she already does that.

I manage to get in, and scream "I'm back!" to whoever is in the house.

"In the living room!" I hear my mom shout back. I turn around, wave at Savannah, and close the door, blushing. She winked at me.

I walk towards the corridor, entering the second door on the left, and I find my mother with her phone in her hand and a stern look. I lean on the door frame and ask if everything's alright.

"Your father called me. I won't even say what he told me, he said he already explained everything to you on the phone. I have two questions. Firstly, why did you hang up on him like that?"

"I told you I was at Savannah's." I reply.

"Why were you on the phone with your father when you were with your friend?"

"Father called me and Savannah was sleeping. I hanged up because she woke up."

"He said it looked like you were hiding something."

"I wasn't, just I went to the toilet to take the call and she woke up and asked me if everything was alright. That's it."

I take a deep breath. My mom's never this concerned with stuff. She's never this serious, she's always bright and smiling, she's always beautiful. Not that she isn't right now, it's just that she's the dangerous kind of beautiful, not the comforting one.

"I'll never understand why you stopped calling him dad and started calling him father. He still is your dad, you know?" I do not want to explain this to her. "Anyway, second question: do you want to live with him for a bit?"

I want to say no, I want to scream and shout to the whole world what he did to me, in the hopes that somebody would listen. I would, if it weren't that goddamn embarrassing.

"Again, he still is your father. Him and I divorced, not him and you." She encourages. She doesn't know. And maybe it's good that she doesn't know, it's better.

I dread having to see him one more time, but she's right too, he is my father. Maybe, after loosing my mother, he thought he didn't want to lose me too. Maybe he wants another chance. Maybe he'll be my hero again.

I nod.

She smiles.

"Alright, then. I'll book the flights. We'll start with one week and see how that goes, okay? That sound good?" She asks.

"You know what?" My grandma says, moving me to the side so she can let herself in, "I'm sure they're both exited, and today's Sunday. Why don't we book a flight for tomorrow, we'll see if there are any available seats." She's already taking out her phone and checking the airport's website.

They both call in my granddad, and the three of them plan my trip, then tell me to pack my stuff.

I go to the garage to take out a luggage, a black four wheels one, and bring it to my room.

This could be seen as a new beginning. Maybe he's changed, a lot could happen in so many months. He surely has changed, hasn't he? I have changed. Maybe, if something will happen, I'll have the strength to defend myself.

I feel small at the thought of it. I couldn't go against him physically, he's my father, but I could try saying no. I've always stayed silenced, so maybe that would work. I'd fantasize about it as a child, wonder what would happen if I told him to stop, but never mustered the courage to actually do it. I could try. But on the phone he sounded different, things might be different too. He might not even think about it.

I text Savannah that I'm not going to be in this week, and she immediately replies back with a sad face, then says that we need to talk before I go. I tell her that I'll be at hers in a bit.

I open my closet and start packing.

"I thought you had died." She tells me, grabbing me by my wrist, pulling me in and slamming me against a wall. She's already pushed against me, her lips kissing my neck and her hands running on my waist. It took me an hour and a half to get here.

"Didn't we have to talk?" I try to say this with a normal tone, but it just comes out weird.

She takes my wrist again, and brings me to the kitchen. She doesn't say anything except to ask me if I want something to drink. I say no. She makes herself some coffee.

Once she's done, she sits down on the other side of the counter and looks at me.

"I know I'm not that known for being clingy or attached to a girl in general, but, I've been thinking, and I just wanted to tell you that I haven't done anything with anyone who isn't you, or even thought about doing it, since the ball. I know it sounds lame, but I just wanted to put it out there. I kind of want to take this seriously." This is the most serious I've ever seen her.

"Kind of?" Oh God. She might not take it seriously. Or maybe she's thinking about taking it seriously but there might be a chance she isn't going to.

"No, I mean, I have feelings for you, and when I have feelings for someone, I take stuff seriously."

She actually said that. Savannah has feelings for me. Oh my God. No, keep calm. I can't jump around the room just yet.

"Oh. Well, everything's reciprocated." She smiles. Jesus, that stupid smile of hers drives me insane.

"To the bedroom, then. I need to take in as much of you as I can. A week is too much." Again, she gets my wrist and leads me upstairs.

"Just wait 'till I'll be gone for a month." I say.