Chapter 40

I look around me.

It's evening and most of the people invited have left. Savannah, Tyler, Ava, Jane, Mark, Alex and Josh are all sat either on really small chairs or on the ground. Savannah's parents are going to kill her when they find out we set up a campfire right at the center of their back garden to cook marshmallows. Apparently everyone really likes doing this, me included, so why not? They seem to get every opportunity they've got anyway.

Josh earlier drove to his house to get his acoustic guitar. He's in a band and he wrote a few things, wanted to ask our opinion on them, but now he's just playing random famous songs.

We're singing along, laughing, swaying from side to side. Occasionally my shoulders brush Tyler's and Savannah's got her hand on my leg, it all feels perfect. They're not the bitchy people they were at the start, thought Tyler's friends really never were bitchy.

I snuggle into my wet towels a bit more, trying to gather some heat while my hair dries.

Savannah didn't make too many comments about Tyler, even if he's stayed by my side for most of the time.

Josh gave me some advice for finding a job for my gap year, he said he could speak to his manager if I wanted to work in the restaurant he works in, or he could get in contact with some people if I want to do something different. I told him most of the story, he said volunteering would be wonderful, but that I also need to save up money for university and a possible new house, if I want to move out of my grandparents'. We exchanged numbers and everything, and I really hope we'll get closer, he seems like a decent guy.

We sing the last notes as the song comes to an end. Mark stands up.

"Okay guys, may I have your attention? Can we please get a round of applause for Rose's outfit? She looks absolutely stunning." He says.

They all follow him and clap, while I stand up too and bow, bobbing my head up and down, saluting like the Queen.

I turn around and cross Savannah's gleaming eyes. It feels like they contain the Universe, and at the same time the Universe is contained within her soul. Her eyes are laughter and sincerity, black and white and every color of the rainbow in between. A strand of damp black curly hair falls between her thick eyebrows, as she moves her head backwards to laugh. I can see in that smile everything she needs to tell me, what she sees in me, and it feels so weird that, out of all the people in this world, she chose me. Well, I forced her to the school dance and then she chose me.

"And you need to tell me where you got that eyeliner. Never found any waterproof make-up with such a great performance. Look at it, it's still intact after so many hours spent in the pool!" Mark keeps saying, snapping me back out of Savannah's trance.

"Good luck taking that off." Jane mumbles, sipping her drink.

"You still need to teach me how to use pencils. I want to learn to do that hot smoky eye thingy." Alex says.

"Whenever you like." Mark replies, getting a bunch of his boyfriend's hoodie and pulling him in for a kiss. I watch them while I sit down, and Savannah puts an arm around my shoulder. I look at her and she smiles, silently telling me she wants that. I smile back and lean into her.

"Play me the same way Josh plays his guitar strings." I tell her.

"What?" She asks, pulling back, looking at me confused.

"I said play me the same way Josh plays his guitar strings." This time I say it monotone, my face dead.

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean 'what do you mean'? I'm flirting with you, you idiot." I throw my arm to her chest, accidentally hitting her tit. She flinches and jumps backwards a bit, I realize what I have done and burst out laughing. Everyone joins me, she pouts and fakes hurt.

"Wake up, princess." I hear Savannah say in my ear, her breath hot.

"Mmh." I respond. I don't want to think, I don't want to wake up. I'm doing pretty fine sleeping.

"We need to have breakfast. I'm hungry." She says.

"Go eat by yourself." I shove my face harder into the pillow, trying to ignore her.

"As you wish." She grabs my pants and pulls them down. I sit up fast, throwing the blanket in her face, so that she becomes a blue ghost trying to get her head out.

"I said eat, not do me." I say.

"I meant eat you. And I never asked for you to suffocate me."

"It's morning and I haven't had coffee yet. Whatever you do, do not go against me or I will be fuming."

"Someone's cranky." She says, under her voice, but I hear her anyway.

"And someone needs to shut up. Now bring me that coffee and I will be yours."

Savannah looks at me like she's a puppy and I'm a bone.

"Right on it." She says, and runs downstairs.

She's already naked so I'd like to say I went back to sleeping, but the thought of her doesn't shut my brain off.

The thing is, I shouldn't have thoughts. Not those ones anyway. I mean, it's good that when I realized it was her, I didn't feel dirty anymore, but the fact that she took them off...he used to do that too. Not the same way, she was gentle, he was violent and greedy. I get a notification on my phone.

Padre:

[9:01]: Hi sweetheart. I thought maybe we could talk? Is it ok if I call you?

Panic comes up and clutches me at my throat, but a second later, when Savannah carefully walks in the room and sets the coaster and the cup on the bed desk, it disappears.

"Thank you." I say, grabbing the coffee. And it's funny, I don't even think about it.

Not now, not when I lie down with her and not when I'm under the covers.