Chapter 35

The ringing sound brings me back.

"You do realize it's three in the morning, right?" I say, as soon as the call connects.

"Yes." Savannah says. Her voice sounds wide awake, like she's exited, while mine just sounds like it's coming from a dying seal.

"Then why the fuck are you calling me?"

"I've been thinking." I wait a second to see if she's got anything to say. She doesn't continue.

"Oh, you've been thinking. I thought your skull was empty." Ironic, of course. Maybe.

"Haha, very funny. Seriously, though. Like, what if they weren't wrong?" Okay, she is exited.

"As I already said, it's night and I need you to tell me what you're talking about. My brain's not working."

"How can you not understand? I literally dropped you back home two hours ago."

We stayed on the hill and laid down on a blanket I didn't realize she got with us, looking at the stars, talking about science and theories about life we had as children. Then she brought me home.

"Well, I really don't want to make this cheesy." she said. I turned around, looking at her, almost leaning on the door, but stopping myself in time.

"You are already cheesy." I dead-panned. She leaned in.

"Yeah?" She was so close our breaths were mixing.

"Yeah." I answered.

She got closer to me, pulling me towards her. Every time, for some reason, it feels weird being this close, it feels like an honor, like I could have never wished for anything better.

Her lips covered mine, a perfect fit, exactly like the countless times they touched on the hill. She made my head switch off, overload. I couldn't think or concentrate on anything else, not even on my breathing, when she was that close.

"Goodnight, then." She said, pulling away. We stayed connected for a few seconds, before she took a step back and winked at me. I looked at her walk back to her car. I then turned around and fumbled with my keys, too happy to actually get them inside the keyhole. Savannah didn't start the car and leave until twenty-three seconds after I got indoors.

"Exactly, my brain doesn't work because you broke it." I reply sharply, somehow still sounding dead.

"With my fascinating looks and flawless flirting? Or maybe it was my excellent kissing skills?" She says. I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, right. Just get to the point."

"Remind me to keep you at a safe distance when you're sleepy. It's almost worse than when you're hungry."

"Talk, Savannah." My voice is rigid. She got me mad. Isn't news.

"Geez, fine. I mean the theory about the globe. That the sky is a globe. Like, the Earth is flat and the stars are painted on this globe that we call space."

"Do you believe the world is flat?"

"No, but what if they aren't wrong? You said so yourself, we don't perceive the Universe directly, but through electric-shock thingy stuff. So what if we perceive that Earth is round when it's not?"

"You say you don't believe Earth is flat, but then proceed to ask yourself why can't it be flat."

"Exactly."

"Okay, I'm done with you." I move the phone off my ear and hover my thumb over the red button.

"No, wait!" I bring my phone back up.

"What?"

"Okay, I don't really believe it, I was just thinking 'what if?' That's all."

"Well, I mean. You could be right. You could be wrong. I guess that right now we can't really be a hundred percent sure. According to that theory, Earth could be a triangle."

"Why is everything round? Like stars and planets and stuff like that."

"You mean astral bodies? Because of gravity. I don't think I would be able to explain it at three in the morning."

"Please try." She pleads. Like, actually pleads.

"Ugh. Uhm, gravity is a force right? Everything has gravity, everything pulls stuff towards each other reciprocally. And everything in the Universe looks for shortcuts, everything chooses the fastest route. Light, for example. In void it goes straight, because that's the fastest route, but when you put something which slows it down in front of it, it doesn't go straight, but it chooses another route to get out of it faster. That's why things appear distorted in water. I don't know if it makes sense. Anyways, same thing applies to gravity. It looks for the shortest route. Closer you are to the center of something, the more gravity affects you. So in circles, or spheres, everything in the surface is equally distant to the center. So it's in a way the fastest route, I guess. I don't know if you get me, I don't really know what I'm saying. I could be wrong."

"Absolutely not. But then why is the Earth not a perfect sphere?"

"I don't know, I think it has to do with the magnetic field. But I'm not sure. I'll search it up tomorrow morning."

"How do you know all this stuff?" She doesn't sound mad. I usually get mad or frustrated when someone can't give me an answer.

"I just told you I didn't know something." I am pissed. Why the fuck is she making me think at night?

"Yeah, but still. Anyways. Thanks for the explanation. Night night."

She hangs up.

What. The. Fuck. That's it? She really just called me in the middle of the night for this? She woke me up so I could give her an impossible-to-understand explanation of how gravity works? I swear. She makes me mad as fuck but at the same time I can't be mad at her because she's Savannah.

I lay down, awake. I put my phone beside my head. I made a fool out of myself, as usual. She is so much smarter than me and tried to explain something so I could understand it. And I didn't. She feels like an opening to knowledge, but she also makes me feel stupid, which I hate. It's not that I feel bad. I just wish I could have a conversation with her without being scared of being boring due to my lack of understanding of the things she loves.

I tried to make an excuse to call her. I thought I was so smart, something we could discuss, and possibly impress her with.

Sometimes this thing just makes me want to grow confidence, just to prove everyone wrong. It makes me want to pull my mask on even more, but at the same time I want to take it off and give in. Let myself be guided to knowledge, so I can impress with honesty.

I'll find some other ways to impress her with honesty. I just want to give her the world. And be honest.

Ironic how it matters that much to me, even though everything I am with everyone else is a lie.